“HEY, where’s this breakfast?” said Dave. “I was hoping for more than a tin can of tea over an open fire. It must be eleven by now.”
They’d been walking for a while in the woods, but from the smells and sounds Dave thought they might be nearing the reserve, and hopefully some food.
Just when they saw the first houses, Junior turned away, up a narrow trail, with the snow packed down by many feet.
“Now what, more traps?” said Dave.
“Just showing you a new path,” said Junior.
The trail wandered through some trees—birch and spruce Dave thought—with the sounds of the village still nearby. They finally stopped at the edge of a small clearing, surrounded by brush and snow drifts, bright under overhead sun. In the middle was a low domed tent, covered in canvas, about ten feet across and four feet high. In front of the door, to the east, was a fire pit, smelling of pine and cedar, with large round stones sitting in the hot embers. JB stood by the fire, smiling.
“What is this?” Dave asked.
“It’s a sweat lodge,” she said.
“Oh, like a sauna?” he said. “I like those, I used to go to them to unwind. I don’t have to roll naked in the snow, do I?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you had some interesting ways to unwind. No, this is more a healing thing, good for both body and spirit.”
“Wait a minute,” he said, “this isn’t anything to do with that windy thing is it?”
“The Wendigo? No, of course not, just think of it like a sauna. It’s very relaxing, feels great.”
Dave felt a sudden flush of anger, and an urge to run. “I’m fine, maybe another time,” he said, then turned away.
Junior, her big little brother, stood solidly in his path, arms folded. “Dave, what’s your problem? Calm down, will you? If you decide you don’t like it, we’ll leave and go for that late breakfast. At Rosie’s—my treat.”
“I don’t like surprises,” said Dave. “And I certainly don’t need any of your voodoo stuff.” He went to push past Junior, then JB laid her hand on his arm.
“Trust me, Dave,” she said. “It can be very relaxing, if you just let it happen. We use this all the time, it’s a good cleansing.”
He paused. She did look very sincere about this sweat thing, at least it would give him a good story to tell when he returned to Toronto. He felt his rage fade. “Okay,” he said, “what do I do?”
“Well, it will be hot in there, so first you’d better strip down a bit,” said JB. “We’ll try not to get too upset at all that white skin.”
He took off his parka and hat, then his boots and wind pants. It was actually not that cold, with the fire pit heat and the warm sun.
“Wait, who else is doing this?” he said.
“Just some of the elders,” she said. “The heat is good for their aches and pains in the winter. My grandfather is in there.”
“Is this some sort of special ceremony?” he said.
“It’s a traditional thing,” she said. “We find that while everyone is relaxing together, it’s an opportunity to talk, share experiences, get to know each other better. They might even have some ways to help make your life here go smoother.”
She lit a small bundle of twigs, which smoldered and gave off a familiar herb-like smell. “This is a smudge,” she said. “We’ll use it to cleanse you before you go into the sweat lodge.” She moved around him, letting the smoke surround his body.
“There’s a bit of ceremony that has to be followed as you go in,” she said. She handed him a small packet. “When you crawl in you’ll see my grandfather sitting just to the right. Offer him this tobacco, say you are there for guidance. There will be three other elders in there already, one just to my grandfather’s right, one across from the doorway, one to the left. You’ve probably seen them around town, but don’t greet them other than with a respectful nod. Initially you will take your place next to the one facing the door. Then just follow along with the cues my grandfather gives you.”
She led him over to the door of the low tent.
“Oh, you’d better lose the t-shirt and pants too. Don’t worry, I won’t look.”
He looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
“She’s serious, “ said Junior. “It really is like sauna once we heat it up. “
As Dave pulled off his shirt Junior whistled. “Nice tattoos. I like that protector bear. OK, get in there, the elders are waiting for you.”
***
Dave crawled through the door. It was dark, and not that much warmer than outside. He turned to JB’s grandfather, handed him the packet, and said that he was here for guidance. The elder smiled, then gestured for him to enter. Dave nodded to the others—he recognized George—then crawled to the other side.
JB stooped in the opening, with a small shovel in her hands, and passed in a large, round, hot rock, faintly glowing in the dim interior. One of the elders took the shovel from her, and placed the rock into a hollow in the centre. Three more times she did that, until there was a rock in each of the compass directions. Her grandfather then picked up a small bowl, and sprinkled something from it on the hot rocks. A sweet smell of cedar and sage rose into the air as a faint cloud. Dave fought the urge to sneeze. JB then passed in a number of smaller rocks, several at a time, which were added to the hollow by the same elder. Once the space was full, he signalled to JB and she closed the door flap. It very dark, and quickly getting a lot hotter. The small bowl was then was passed around the circle, with each of them sprinkling some herbs on the fire. Dave paused when it came to him, dimly saw a tiny nod from his coach, and sprinkled some on too.
He heard the sound of a small drum, four gentle taps. There was a pause. Then someone sprinkled some water on the rocks; there was a burst of steam and a smell of more sage and cedar. A voice then asked him. “Who are you, why are you here with us?”
He paused, confused. “I’m Corporal Dave Browne, and I’m here to run the RCMP detachment. And have a sauna.”
The voice asked again, “Who are you, why are you here with us?”
He realized there was a little more depth expected. “Well, I’m a cop, and a southerner, and I’ve been told I’m a loner. I’m someone people look up to and I’m good at solving problems, especially with some unique powers I have.”
Another voice, JB’s grandfather this time, prompted, “Why are you here in this sweat lodge, this town, this life?”
Dave paused. “I thought this was just a sauna?”
“We are here to help you to choose a path, and hopefully to combat that which is consuming you from within. Don’t worry, you can talk in here, our medicine is strong, stronger than that which hides within you.”
Dave felt a stirring inside himself, again that urge to flee, and was just starting to rise when there was a single beat of the drum and then a short, sharp shout from all the elders. Startled, he sat back. Whatever had been bothering him was quiet. He felt calm again.
The questions continued, gentle, guiding, persistent. He tried giving the shortened version of his life, but the elders patiently worked at drawing out things he hadn’t even realized were inside. He told them about being a shy kid, a loner, and of finding this power with the help of his grandmother. When he talked about the gang in Toronto they were very interested in this Badger character. He spoke about using his power to manipulate others, the balance between the rush of pleasure and the increasing pain, and his increasing isolation. As they talked he realized his use of this power and his rejection of others was hurting both him and his friends, and that it had become more than a way of life, it had spiralled out of control into an addiction.
“And yet,” said one of the elders, “your work in Toronto was using your skills to help fight against addictions in others.”
Still the elders continued, delving into his concerns, his fears, his dreams. Every so often yet more water would be sprinkled on the rocks and it would get even more humid. Twice more the flap was raised and more hot stones passed through the doorway, but he felt no urge to flee—he felt safe. He remembered sipping on a cup filled with some cedar flavoured water—like a weak tea but refreshing. As the heat increased, he began to feel light-headed, and his thoughts wandered.
“What do you see?” said JB’s grandfather. “Close your eyes.”
“I see a wide plain,” he said, “surrounded by mountains, empty, covered in brown grass, with a haze of dust above it.”
“Tell us about this plain, is it truly empty?”
Dave felt drawn into the image, as the dust swirled, then coalesced gradually into a huge herd of bison. He could hear the shuffle of their feet as they slowly circled, like a sluggish whirlpool. In the middle of the herd stood a clump of trees, dead, covered in black leaves. As he watched, some of the leaves rose above the tree, and flitted above it like birds. The bison crowded in around the tree even more, drawn to the dark cloud.
He could smell the sweat from a thousand animals, hear the rumble of their hooves, feel the sun hot on his fur, the buzz of flies around him. He was a bison, too, and a huge one, bigger than any in the herd. He felt somehow possessive of them, as if they were in his care. He stood on a path, looking down at his herd. The path led behind him too, twisting and turning down the other side of the ridge, through rocks and canyons to another valley, far in the distance. He felt his fur starting to stand on end, and realized a storm was brewing overhead, with dark storm clouds full of lightning and rain.
He didn’t have much time left to make a choice. He turned back toward the herd, calling to them.
“Come, my brothers and sisters, come with me. There is danger here for you. We must leave this place and find a new home.”
As he called, the black shapes on the tree started to fly up, and race toward him. As they neared, he saw they were still just shapes, bits of blackness torn from something larger. They were formless—without mouths or eyes—yet gave off an evil chill. They swirled around him, but he held his ground, bellowing, tearing them apart with his horns, stomping them into dust with his sharp hooves.
There was a cry, and a flurry of sparks. He felt sudden heat on one arm, then an icy grip around his neck. He tried to grapple with whatever it was, but there were several people all fighting at the same time, trying to pull it away from him. He gave a mighty shove and a yell, then fell back, exhausted. The bison, the dark shapes, the storm—all blended into a grey mist.
He suddenly woke up with a jerk, confused, falling …
***
The elder next to him, George, caught him as he fell sideways. It was a little cooler now. The stones had lost their glow and the door was open a little bit, letting in a breath of fresh air. Also letting out all the smoke. He felt his head start to clear.
George chuckled. “How was your sleep?”
“Sorry,” he said, “it was very hot and very relaxing. Until the end that is.” He sat up and brushed some ashes off his arm. “Did I get burnt?” He looked around. The other elders no longer looked so composed, they too had smudges of ashes on them, clothes askew, and one now had a split lip. “What happened in here? Did I cause any trouble?”
“It’s nothing,” said Charlie. “We’re all fine. You just got a little excited when you fell into the fire pit. But did you dream?”
“Oh sorry,” said Dave. “Did I dream? Did I ever, and a powerful one. Animals—I think I was one—some sort of battle, a storm—”
Dave told them about the bison, the black forces, his choice, the battle. All the while the elders kept nodding at him, none seeming surprised at the events he recounted.
“Have you heard this story before?” Dave asked.
“Not exactly,” said Charlie. “We are all different, as are our paths. Many of the things you describe are common in our stories. And the buffalo, special for you of course. But how do you feel after your battle?”
Dave noticed that his headache was gone, finally. And he felt different inside, somehow, as if something had left.
“Did you get rid of whatever my bad mojo was?” he asked.
“Yes, we did,” said Charlie. “It was a spirit we call Wendigo. In our legends, it would turn someone into a cannibal—not what was happening to you though. In your case it was possessing you and taking over your ability, making you fight everyone.”
“Why me?” said Dave.
“Just because it could. It’s part of its evil nature.”
“But it’s gone now, right? It won’t come back, will it? Tell me you’ve destroyed it?”
The chief shook his head. “It can’t be destroyed, but it’s gone, at least from you. That was part of your battle. You cast it out of you. I don’t think it will come back to you again. You’re safe.”
“That’s a relief,” said Dave. “Whatever I did or you did—thanks. I feel different, but better. I guess it was time for me to make a choice. I know this ability of mine has been a part of me for a long time, but lately the side effects haven’t been worth it. It was the correct decision, right?”
Charlie smiled, “What is right or wrong needs to come from within you. I think your body is already telling you it feels right. Maybe this power was given to you as a gift, and it’s up to you to decide how to use that gift.”
“I guess now I’ll just have to learn to live without it,” said Dave, “and do my job anyway.”
“Maybe it’s not gone though,” said Charlie. “Maybe it’s just back to what it used to be, in its purer form.”
“I don’t know,” said Dave. “I don’t think I can trust it anymore.”
“Let’s try something,” said Charlie, “while you’re under protection here in the lodge. Try to do that fading thing.”
Dave looked at him, “Are you sure it’s safe?”
“Yes, go ahead.”
Dave closed his eyes and concentrated. He felt something change. It was like the same feeling he used to have when using his secret power back as a kid. There was no rush to it now, but also no pain. He just had a feeling that he was somehow more focused on his surroundings, more aware of them. He opened his eyes.
The elder smiled and gave him a thumbs up. “Looks good, you can stop now.”
“Did it work?” asked Dave.
“Yes, I think so. I could still see you, just as we could before, but before when you would do it there would be a dark cloud around you. This time it was just a faint glow. This is good, I am pleased. Also, I’m relieved that we didn’t have to do anything drastic.”
“Drastic?” said Dave. “I don’t think I want to know any more details now.”
He looked around the interior of the tent. “I’m not sure what just happened in here, but I do want to thank you all for whatever you did. And I’m sorry for being such a jerk lately, I hope you’ll give me another chance.”
“We did it for you, but also for the safety of the community,” said Charlie. “We’re glad it worked out well after all. It’s even better that the special power you had is still within you. You just need to develop some positive ways to use your link to the spirit world. We can help you with that, later. For now, you need to rest, let your body and mind recover from the encounter with the Wendigo. We’re done here for today, we can leave now.” He held the tent flap open. “You first.”
Dave crawled into the bright light, shivering a bit already with the cold.