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“ARE YOU ANGRY WITH me?” I asked Ben as we walked across the bridge, heading out over the Vltava.
“I feel better knowing that Lady POW will likely scold you enough for the two of us,” Ben admitted.
“Does this mean that you like Ferdy?”
“You like him enough for both of us.”
“I still want your approval,” I said, unable to stop the heat from rising to my cheeks.
“If you like him enough, my approval shouldn’t matter.”
“If your ambivalence is punishment me for walking with him for a few moments, you have made your point.”
Ben stopped. “I didn’t mean it like that, Nora,” he said. He gave me a small smile. “Maybe I should start calling you ‘Ella,’ too, huh?”
I took his arm. “Ben—”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I know you are growing up, and things have changed. Things will always change, but I will always be here for you. And if you like Ferdy, you really should not let me get in your way. I know you well enough to know that’s not going to happen anyway. But you don’t need my permission to love someone else.”
I stood there, quietly amazed. My brother was right, and I knew he was telling me the truth. But I did not expect the sudden sadness that came with it.
“Besides,” Ben said, tweaking my nose. “I know you’ll punish him enough for loving you.”
“Hey!”
Ben laughed and took off running. I heard the click of his brace as he hopped over the bridge cobblestones, and I hurried to keep up after him. It was a game we had played more than a million times, it seemed; by the time I came close to catching him, we were both laughing.
We reached the end of the bridge, and then he stopped.
“Ah-ha!” I cried, nearly tackling him, before I realized there was a familiar coach.
The door opened swiftly, as though it had been kicked open, and I found myself looking at the flaring nostrils of Lady POW.
Briefly, I wondered if that was what Amir saw when I was angry, too.
“I should have known you would be doing something inappropriate.” Lady Penelope stared down at me.
Ben stepped in front of me. “It was my—”
“None of that, Benedict. I know Eleanora is responsible for this. Get in, both of you, before anyone sees you.”
Despite his earlier teasing, Ben gave me a sympathetic look as we complied. We both knew Lady POW was anything but happy. And just in case we did not realize this on our own, she said so as soon as the coach began moving again.
“I am not happy about this, Eleanora,” Lady Penelope fumed. “I cannot believe you thought it would be good for you to sneak away from the Summerhouse Ball. I felt like a fool, trying to find you and introduce you to Count Potocki.”
“My apologies, Madame.” I did not like that I had disappointed her, but I refused to regret stealing away. Besides having fun at the Cabal, Mr. Clavan had given me enough hope to believe that my instincts were correct.
“I had enough of a struggle in talking with him,” she said, ignoring my apologies. “He asked about you, but was interested in little else.”
“Karl is the son of King Ferdinand,” I blurted out, angry she was not listening to me. When I managed to shock her into silence, I continued. “If Count Potocki knows the truth about Karl, that might be why he was concerned about me.”
Lady POW just stared at me, blinking.
“Karl likes me,” I said. “He is upset that Lord Maximillian is willing to sponsor his bid for Potocki’s position only in exchange for Lady Teresa Marie’s hand in marriage. I heard Lady Cecilia complaining that the Duke of Moravia was happy to end his daughter’s engagement to Alex because he had found the heir to the Bohemian throne.”
There was another long moment of silence, before Lady POW cleared her throat.
“Amir?” Lady Penelope turned to Amir, who was sitting beside her in silence. “What do you say to this?”
“We can easily get proof, Madame,” he said. “But Eleanora’s logic is sound. And it would not be unheard of to keep an heir a secret.”
“Karl was born just after the Revolution of 1848,” I said. “My mother would have known.”
“Tulia.” Lady POW nearly spit out her name in disgust.
“That is one way to know for sure,” I said, grateful Amir would not have to reveal my mother’s journal. As much as I knew Lady POW loved my mother, I wanted to keep that a secret; for once, it was nice to share a secret with someone, and in many ways, I felt that I owed Amir for the trouble I had caused him earlier.
“Tulia is also the one who Father Novak alerted,” Ben said. “She might be able to tell us more about what happened to Dr. Artha.”
“I think it is time we made a stop at her cottage, then,” Lady Penelope said through pursed lips. She tapped on the roof of the coach, calling for the driver. “She cannot avoid me forever. Amir, you might have to restrain me. I suggest you prepare yourself.”
“I am always prepared, Madame.” He gave me a smile, and I felt a sense of relief as we headed for Tulia’s house.
Several moments passed while Lady POW settled into deep thought, a disgusted look on her face. Amir and Ben were also silent. Both of them were content to stare out into the darkness.
It appeared only I was restless. I tapped my foot on the floor, agitated, until Amir looked over at me. He raised his brow at my foot, and I did not know whether to be insulted or delighted I was reminding him of my mother.
“Why don’t you like Tulia?” I finally asked Lady POW.
Her answer came at once, much more quickly than I would have expected.
“Do I have to remind you that she kept you and Ben from me for over a decade?” Lady Penelope scowled. “She could have stopped Cecilia’s reign of terror in your lives. If anyone should be angry, it should be you, Eleanora.”
I thought of Tulia’s silliness and her silent kindness, of how she had stayed close to watch over us for the past years. It was hard to imagine that she had refrained from contacting Lady POW for so many years out of malice.
“Maybe she had her own reasons for failing to do so,” I said. I could not think of anything else to defend her, but I was determined to do as much as I could.
Beside me, Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “I’d like to know what they were, if that is true.”
“Maybe Máma did not want her to say anything,” I said.
“But after your mother died, there was nothing stopping her from doing just that, was there?” Lady Penelope bristled in her seat. “Of course, there are likely other reasons for her silence on the matter.”
“If you’re talking about how she is a mute,” I snapped, “let me be the one to assure you I will be the one to give you an answer myself.”
“I did not mean silence literally. Goodness, Eleanora, calm down—”
Outside, there was a large popping sound.
The coach rumbled to a quick stop, but not before we were all jumbled together. I grabbed onto the cushions for support, while Ben slipped onto the floor between the seats.
Lady Penelope groaned. “What is it, John?” she called, pushing open the coach window.
“There’s been an explosion, Madame.” I heard the muffled reply of the coachman as I moved closer to Lady POW. “Straight ahead.”
The instant I heard the news, I pushed past Lady POW and opened the door. I hopped out of the coach, struggling with my skirts to keep from falling on my knees.
“That’s Tulia’s house.” Ben came down after me, landing hard on his feet. In the dark of the night, with the small moon in the sky, I saw he was right. Tulia’s small cottage, perched on the horizon, was alight with fire.
“Get back inside,” Lady Penelope called.
“We have to go help,” I argued.
“It will be easier to get there and help if you are inside the carriage!”
“Come on, Nora.” Ben helped me up, and I was grateful all over again that I had changed back into my maidservant’s outfit as the driver clicked on the reins and hurried toward Tulia’s house.
I was already moving when the carriage came to a stop several yards from Tulia’s house.
“Tulia!” I called, hurrying toward the cottage. I saw the roof flickering with flames and felt fear choke me as much as the soot in the air.
“Stay back,” Amir said, reaching in front of me.
“We have to make sure she’s safe.” Before I could argue more, Amir pushed me down on the ground as a shadow jumped out of a window. There was a weapon held high in his hand.
My eyes adjusted to the inconsistent light, watching as a gleaming blade appeared before Amir, who had already unsheathed his curved dagger.
There was a small clash of the metal on metal. The noise of the battle faded into the crackling fire, as flames consumed Tulia’s cottage.
I struggled to move out of the muddy grass, watching as the attacker met Amir in battle. In the firelight, I could see Amir’s adversary was no taller than Ben, and he was wearing a footman’s uniform, along with a black mask that hid the bottom half of his face. Seeing it, I was reminded of the mask on my own stealth habit.
Behind me, Lady POW jumped down from the carriage, and her drivers pulled out a pair of pistols.
Ben grabbed me from behind and lifted me up. “We have to help,” he said. “We’ve got to see if Tulia is inside.”
I did not hesitate at his words.
“When we get in, watch your skirts,” Ben ordered, as he slammed his shoulder into the front door. It shuddered against his force but did not budge. I could feel the heat behind it as we pushed together, bashing our bodies against it in hurried desperation.
It did not move.
“Tulia!” I cried again, hoping for any sign that she was alive.
Ben tapped my shoulder, nodding at my hair. “Give me two of your pins. I can pick the lock.”
I hurriedly plucked two longer pins from my hair. My curls bobbed free and added to the heat on my cheeks. “Here. Hurry.”
Never had I ever been more grateful for Ben as he fiddled with the lock. He had learned to do some smithing work in order to build his leg brace, and I felt like all of his pain was suddenly worth it in that moment as I watched him, amazed at his calmness as much as his skill. Just as he turned the knob, Amir cried out behind us.
“Watch out!”
I whirled around, just in time to see Amir ram the attacker into the house beside us. The attacker’s head smashed into the cottage hard, and Amir used the chance to drive his dagger deep into the man’s shoulder.
I screamed, covering my eyes. “Did you kill him?”
“It’s fine, Nora,” Ben said. “Amir just got his coat. The man is fine.”
“Really?” I peeked out from behind my fingers, only to see Ben was right. Amir’s blade had snagged the man’s jacket.
As I watched, the attacker narrowed his glazed eyes at Amir. He launched out a kick, and Amir responded by punching his face.
A dark wet spot began forming at the side of the man’s mask. Behind the cloth, I could hear him sputter and squeak with pain.
“Nora,” Ben called. “I got the door.”
“Stop!”
I whirled around as Amir hollered. His opponent had slipped free from his jacket, renewing the battle between them once more.
He lunged toward me.
My instincts kicked in, and I was already stepping back as another dagger came rushing through the air between us. I heard the attacker cry out in anguish as Lady Penelope’s dagger slit through his shoulder. I watched as the purple-tinted blade splashed with crimson blood.
The dagger of the Order.
I hurried forward and kicked him, tearing Lady POW’s dagger free from him. He yelled again, lashing out at me.
Hurriedly, I stepped back; from the momentum of my movements, I fell; the attacker brushed past my skirts, before slipping around me. We were both caught off balance long enough that Amir and Lady Penelope both came forward, shielding me from him.
“Here,” I said to Lady POW. “Here’s your dagger.”
She took it from me quickly. As it passed from my hand to hers, I already missed the comfort its legacy of strength and protection offered.
“Go and get Tulia.” Lady Penelope held up the blade again, looking deadly as she aimed for the attacker once more.
Before I could object, Ben tugged on my sleeve
“Come on,” Ben yelled at me. “You’ve got to focus now!”
“Sorry.” I knew he was right. We had to save Tulia.
I allowed him to pull me after him as we hurried into the burning cottage with nothing to protect me but a prayer.
Immediately, I was flooded with the burning shadows of the fire. I coughed, breathing in the sooty air, and put my hand over my mouth to stop my tongue from tasting the ash.
“Tulia!” Ben called, as he made his way around the small house.
“Do you see her?” I asked, my mouth suddenly very dry. The wooden beams around me cracked, and I jumped closer to Ben at the sound.
“Ouch.” He grimaced, grasping at his leg briefly. “My brace might need some adjustments after this.” His latest model had metal springs, and I wondered if he would be able to manage in the heat.
“Can you move?” I asked.
“I’m fine. You check over that way,” Ben said. “I’ll look over here.”
I was proud to see Ben was taking his role seriously. I held my hand over my mouth as I headed deeper into the house, heading toward the heart of the flames.
Outside, I heard a gunshot go off, and I gasped.
“Keep looking,” Ben called. “Don’t stop unless you’re hurt. And even then, keep going if you can.”
I hurried through the house, carefully sidestepping flames and broken boards. I frowned. The house was a mess. As I jumped over a toppled table in her parlor, I realized that the house had been ransacked.
That man must have attacked her and then lit the house on fire to cover his tracks. He must have been looking for something. We would not know whether he found it unless we caught him.
I desperately hoped we would catch him.
As I was heading out of the room once more, circling back to the front of the house, I caught sight of Tulia’s hand.
Then I saw the rest of her. I moaned at the sight, and quickly called to Ben.
“Ben!” I called. “Over here; I found her.”
Tulia was tucked behind a fallen chair, passed out on her stomach. Seeing her unconscious on the floor made me feel sick, but I forced my sudden queasiness down as Ben arrived. Together, we pushed the chair out of our way and Ben began checking for signs of life.
As we carefully turned her over, my mouth dropped open. There were several shards sticking out of her hands and face, gleaming in the firelight. Little trickles of blood and sweat ran together from the numerous tiny cuts in her skin.
“Tulia,” I wept.
“Keep your focus,” Ben snapped, and I tried to stifle myself. I knew he was feeling poorly too, or he would not have been so curt with me.
I lowered my gaze in shame, realizing this was not a situation where a member of the Order would get emotionally sloppy. As I glanced down, I saw a trail of glass shards spanning out on the floor all around, with several more small pieces littering the nearby area in a strange circular pattern.
Had Tulia been drinking? I gently touched two fingers to her forehead, where one particularly large shard was laced into her wrinkles. It was searing to the touch, and I almost gasped at the sudden burn on my fingertips.
“Eleanora! Benedict!”
From outside, Lady Penelope was calling for us. She might as well have been calling from the opposite side of the world, rather than from the other side of the door.
I wanted to yell back, but I inhaled too quickly and felt the smoke gather inside of my mouth. I ended up coughing before Ben knelt beside me.
“Take her right arm.”
Carefully, I knelt at Tulia’s side and hauled her up, suddenly grateful for all the years Cecilia had forced me to work with my hands so much. Despite the dizzying heat and the sharp sweat drops running down my face, I was able to balance her weight against my own and Ben’s.
“I have her.” I nodded as another loud crackle of fire whipped around us. I coughed and began to feel choked by the sweltering atmosphere.
Together, Ben and I managed to make it to the doorway. Amir was quick to relieve me of duty, and Lady POW breathed a sigh of relief. I felt her exhale rush past my cheeks, still warm against the chilly winter air that soon settled on me once more.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice croaking and cracking as I breathed in all the fresh air I could. “Where is the attacker?”
“He slipped away while Lady Penelope and I were calling for you,” Amir told me. He looked away. “Lady Penelope managed to injure his arm and I took his weapon. That will be enough of a victory for us tonight.”
“I’m surprised,” I said. “I thought for sure you would win. Aren’t the good guys always supposed to win?”
“This is not a play or a novel. You will find, in real life, there are more times than we would like that failure finds us.”
Hearing his words, I almost wondered if Ben had been keeping him company too much lately. Ben was more likely to be the pessimist.
“Besides,” Amir added with a small smile, “Lady Penelope had one of the footmen take off and follow him. With any luck, we will be able to find his local haunt and his boss while we are at it.”
That was more like Lady Penelope, I thought with a grin. “Good.”
“We already have some clues. Here, Eleanora,” Lady Penelope said, as she stuffed a handkerchief into my hand. “Use this to help you breathe some.”
All I could do was nod, before coughing some more. I looked down at myself, smelling of decay. Well, now I am really glad I changed outfits.
“What kind of clues did you find?” Amir asked.
“A handkerchief of his own,” Lady Penelope said, pulling out a soot-covered scrap of fabric. “It’s been embroidered with a coat of arms. I do not recognize it, but I will see what Harshad says.”
I studied it, and I was glad to know Harshad would be analyzing it later. I did not recognize the loopy ‘S’ that marked it, any more than I could identify the wavy lines or the prancing horse embroidered into the fine cloth.
“What about Tulia?” I asked.
“She needs medical attention,” Ben called. “Amir!”
Amir and I hurried over, and I realized Ben had blood on his hands.
“Don’t try to move her.” Amir came running up to us. He tore at his shirt, hurriedly making bandages for Tulia. “Let me stop the bleeding first.”
“She is going to get better, right?” I asked. Behind me, the fire burned brighter as the house began to collapse.
“We will need to get some better bandages,” Amir said, “and I will have to sew her up.”
“I will make room in the coach,” Lady Penelope offered. “Eleanora, come along and assist me.”
I nodded dumbly, otherwise frozen by fear. Glancing back at the scene, I watched Ben and Amir grapple with blood and glass; as the house behind me burned to the ground; watched as my world became intensely more intimate with fear and all its oppressive power.
The next several minutes—perhaps hours—seemed to pass by in a feverish dream. As we transported Tulia to the manor and settled her into her own room, I struggled with all the powers around me and inside me. I felt helpless to curb the anxiety and its accompanying trials that crippled me. My mind raced quickly, running from Tulia’s kindness to the world’s ugliness, jumping from the realization I could do so little to stop the world’s bleeding, before finally crashing at the aching hatred that the world should be so full of evil in the first place.
Why, God? Why? Why give me a problem I can’t solve, a burden I can’t bear?
I did not know how life could go on without Tulia.
Once she was settled into her bed, with the fireplace roaring and the dawn breaking through the windows, I took hold of her hand and grasped it tightly. Amir carefully removed many of the glass shards in her face and hands, while Ben reapplied new bandages, and Lady Penelope and Harshad worked on finding out who was behind everything.
All of this happened while I sat there, holding her hand, watching her sleep. I felt useless, needless. I did not know if there was anything else I could do, or if I would be able to do anything anyway.