part0015

‘First we set up observation posts around the perimeter of the valley and see what’s going on. We must establish that Rana Shaan-Bahadur and his cubs are alive before we go down into the valley ourselves. We have to make sure there is no sign of the disease that wiped out those filthy vultures.’

‘Affirmative,’ sprayed the other tigers. ‘Yes! We shall be happy to follow your lead.’

At intervals of an hour apiece, the great cats slipped into the cave and tunnel, wrinkling up their noses as they smelt the one that had gone just before them.

‘That Caligua, he really stinks!’ Razia growled to herself, ‘hasn’t bathed for at least a year! Makes me feel really queasy.’

Once they emerged on the high ledges that overlooked the valley, the tigers spread around the perimeter, keeping as high up as possible amidst the rocks, so that they got a bird’s eye view of the valley.

Razia found the best spot; it was high up and right ahead and below her was the water tank and meadow with its tall grass and the abandoned village beyond. She was the first to spot the fugitive tigers. They seemed healthy and fit. Even better, she had found a snug cave amidst these rocks. If it was safe here, this was the perfect place to have her cubs, which she knew were due quite soon.

‘So this is Taboo Valley,’ Thug muttered, still a bit nervous. He had stationed himself closest to the tunnel entrance so that if there was an emergency he could be the first to escape.

Down in Taboo Valley, Rana Shaan-Bahadur successfully brought down a large nilgai, on which he and his family feasted. Replete, they settled beneath a large sal tree, and the cubs began playing roughhouse with their father. He cuffed and batted them around, growling with mock ferocity, his green eyes glinting with pleasure. With pride, he noted that Phasti was turning out to be quite a bossy little thing, bullying her elder siblings into doing her bidding. She really was a talented huntress, and in a moment of rare candour he had to admit, better than he had been at her age. In fact, she reminded him a lot of Raat-ki-Rani. She had the same cunning and stealth that had made the tigress such a successful huntress. Maybe, just maybe, Raat-ki-Rani’s genes were not all duds after all, even if she had let herself get shot. She had evidently passed on her splendid hunting genes to her little daughter. But yes, little Phasti had his jade green eyes.

‘Yo baby,’ he growled as she pounced on his head. ‘You’re just like your mother!’

Phasti purred like an electric motor.

Right then Naradmunni came tearing up, his tail between his legs, gibbering.

‘Huzoor…they’re here! They’re coming after you! Flee! Run!’

‘What are you yapping about again?’

‘The other tigers! They’re here. I smelt them all in the tunnel and nearly passed out! They’re going to ambush us.’

‘Just let them try!’ Shaan-Bahadur’s deadly claws slipped out and his voice rumbled malevolently. He rose to his feet.

‘You lot, you stay here together,’ he ordered the cubs. ‘I need to check out a few things. Phasti’s in charge!’

‘It’s always her!’

‘You don’t love us!’

Followed by a frantic Naradmunni, the great tiger set off along the stream towards the high cliffs that led to the tunnel entrance. He had not gone very far when he stopped, sniffed at a rock and grimaced. The message was clear and fresh.

‘Thug!’ Rana Shaan-Bahadur roared. ‘Take your scum and get the hell out of here. This is my place!’

His roar echoed and reverberated around the great cliff walls. Every tiger heard it. Resham trembled—what a voice the fellow had. Lolita swallowed and choked back a sob. Razia felt her heart skip a beat. Caligua and Taimur looked down nervously at the stream below. Rana Shaan-Bahadur and that lackey cur of his was out there in the open, clearly challenging them.

As for Thug, he was having doubts too. He knew he had the advantage of height and numbers. If he and the others attacked, Shaan-Bahadur would stand no chance. Then why was Shaan-Bahadur challenging them openly? Obviously, Shaan-Bahadur had some powerful weapon or juju. As if to prove he was right, the sniveling jackal suddenly ran forward .

‘Your lordships,’ he yelped, looking up at the great cliffs. ‘Your lordships, his exalted highness Rana Shaan-Bahadur has just dined on buffalo ! A medicated buffalo! An infected buffalo!’

Everyone knew what dead medicated buffaloes had done to the vultures… This was Taboo Valley, after all.

Thug was horrified and his first instinct was to run for it. But to flee now would be to lose face—and he would be challenged by those other two, Caligua and Taimur who were just waiting for a chance to grab power. Thug backed away, snarling.

‘Then we stay here and watch him and his cubs die!’ he snarled. ‘In the same horrible way that the vultures had died! I shall enjoy that!’

‘Why the hell did you say that?’ Rana Shaan-Bahadur snarled at poor Naradmunni, swiping at him with a paw. ‘As if I were diseased!’

The jackal darted away. ‘Huzoor, think of the cubs! If anything happens to you, who will look after them? They’ve been orphaned once, isn’t that enough?’

Shaan-Bahadur rumbled deep in his throat as he thought of them: his beloved Phasti, such a talented huntress whom he still had to teach how to hunt porcupine. The other two happy-go-lucky ones, Hasti and Masti who somehow bumbled along; and then Zafraan his regal son, who one day would take over his territory… He backed away, rumbling angrily .

‘Let any of them put one paw down here and see what happens!’

So the tigers of Sher-kila settled down to watch, waiting for the great tiger Rana Shaan-Bahadur and his cubs to sicken and die of the same foul disease that had killed off the vultures. And Lolita’s tender heart fluttered just a little bit. Dare she hope?

It appeared that she could. Because far from showing signs of sickness, Rana Shaan-Bahadur and his family seemed to be thriving in Taboo Valley. The tigers of Sher-kila watched as the great tiger hunted nilgai and chital and sambar for his family; they watched him teach one of his cubs advanced hunting techniques, they watched the little one boss around her siblings and they watched the male cub, lying regally in the sun, with his paws crossed. They watched the way Rana Shaan-Bahadur played with and disciplined and fussed over his cubs; they knew the little green-eyed one was his favourite.

What they saw infuriated them. Razia and Resham were bitter with scorn.

‘Look at him! He hasn’t a clue how to bring up those cubs!’

‘He’s spoiling them sick!’

‘They need to be spanked.’

‘He needs to be banned from seeing them!’

‘They’re going to grow up to be rogues and vandals—man-eaters even! ’

‘Give us a bad name!’

But Resham and Razia didn’t quite look each other in the eye when they made these accusations against Shaan-Bahadur. Lolita wisely kept her counsel because she ached to join the tiger family in the valley and mother the cubs—no matter that they weren’t hers.

The tigers of course were outraged.

‘What the hell does he think he is?’ Thug ranted.

‘He should have eaten those little monsters.’

‘Raising cubs is a tigress’s work. Period!’

‘He’s dishonoured us!’

‘We need to kill him and his brood.’

‘A killing to restore our honour!’

But like the tigresses, Caligua and Taimur looked shiftily away from each other as they raved and ranted because neither or them so far had the courage to actually get down into the valley and attack Shaan-Bahadur on what was now clearly his territory. Thug too was clearly uncomfortable and kept muttering about launching a ‘three-pronged’ attack when ‘the time was ripe’.

Down in the valley, Rana Shaan-Bahadur continued coaching his cubs, as though everything was normal. It was poor Naradmunni who remained anxious, forever glancing towards the forbidding cliff walls where he knew the tigers lay waiting, biding their time. Before long, they would call his bluff and then there’d be no stopping a terrible bloodbath. He’d spotted the Diclo-Fenac squadron patiently circling above the valley and once or twice, thought he had heard the ghastly liquid laughter of the Gigglers. If the scavengers were already gathering, it was not a good omen.

And then, one morning, near the stream at the base of the rocks, he saw something that made his blood run cold.

Lying in a cleft between two rocks was a porcupine quill.

The dreaded Al-Seekh-Kebab Atankvad Andolan had caught up with them and had left its calling card.

Naradmunni carried the quill in his mouth to Rana Shaan-Bahadur.

‘Huzoor, they’re here!’ he said, dropping it at his feet and trembling. ‘ASKAA is here! We have to move out!’

‘What?’ Rana Shaan-Bahadur eyed the quill with interest. ‘Good,’ he went on, ‘I’m glad they’re here. Now I can teach little Phasti how to hunt porcupine, she’s been dying to learn.’

Indeed, a suicide squad from ASKAA led by the terrifying one-eyed Col. ‘Cuddles’ Khujlimal had already slipped into Taboo Valley via an ancient secret tunnel excavated by rodents of yore.

‘We terrify them first!’ Khujlimal grunted as he deliberately dropped a quill amidst the rocks where Naradmunni later found it. ‘Let them know we are here and tremble! ’

‘Boss, there are other tigers here too,’ Major Khujahomujhe reported after returning from a recce. ‘They’re keeping to the ridges on the rock-face, but sooner or later they will have to come down to hunt.’

‘It’s open season, Major. We spare no one, but that tiger family down there is our top priority!’

‘Major Khujahomujhe, you will accompany a party of three into the valley and sneak up to the tigers there early tomorrow morning. You stab them while they sleep. Just reverse into them at top speed and get the hell out of there. Embed as many quills as possible. That’ll teach them to launch an unprovoked attack on my headquarters.’

Col. Khujlimal took a deep breath. ‘You will be led by Lieutenant Col. Kabab-me-Haddi who has been promoted to this rank and suitably briefed. Is that clear?’

Major Khujahomujhe took a deep breath.

‘Yes, sir!’ he said, ever the obedient soldier, but with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t like the fact that he had been superseded.

Lieutenant Col. Kabab-me-Haddi, alias ‘Chuboo-Chuboo’, the Col.’s younger brother, was rumored to have been bitten by a partially rabid bat when he was young. He was rather like that little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead—when he was good (well, not good, just normal) he was very, very cowardly and when he was bad, he was rabid. It was always a huge risk putting him in charge of an expedition or mission. But, the Col. thought the time had come to blood the young Lieutenant Col.; time he proved his mettle.

The suicide squad set off before dawn the next morning. Rana Shaan-Bahadur and his family had taken over some of the less ruined houses in the village and slept here; it was quiet and comfortable. Naradmunni curled up at the doorway of the house, one ear flicking, an eye flickering, in case Shaan-Bahadur required anything. In any case, he had not been sleeping too well ever since he had found that porcupine quill. That morning, he awoke very early and trotted off into the meadow adjoining the village to do his morning ablutions, looking around warily all the while. Threading their way through the meadow, the suicide squad grunted and snorted, working themselves up into a rage. Ah, revenge was at hand and it would be so sweet! From his position, Naradmunni spotted them—four ferociously spiky monsters, punks from hell, trotting in single file at a good pace, along one of the narrow paths in the meadow and heading for the village.

He slithered his way out of the meadow in the way only a jackal could and raced off at top speed.

‘Huzoor! Huzoor!’ he whispered loudly, hoping that Rana Shaan-Bahadur would not be so startled as to leap awake and kill him .

‘Hey Munni, what’s up bro?’ Hasti opened one sleepy eye.

‘You look like you’ve got a flea up your bottom,’ Masti giggled, opening another eye.

‘Can’t you let a fellow sleep in peace?’ Zafraan protested.

‘Is there a problem, uncle?’ Phasti inquired, instantly alert.

‘No, yes, big problem…wake your father right now!’

‘Papa, wake up, Munni’s got a flea in his bottom!’ Hasti giggled.

Rana Shaan-Bahadur opened his eyes and yawned, displaying those fearsome canines.

‘What is it?’ he growled irritably. ‘Do you know the time?’

‘Huzoor, a squad hit from AKSAA is way on the here!’ Naradmunni yelped, getting hopelessly mixed up. The cubs were beginning to giggle. ‘I mean, a hit squad from ASKAA is on the way here. I saw them in the meadow.’

‘Oh, is that so?’ The green eyes glinted. Rana Shaan-Bahadur yawned again, stretched and got to his feet. ‘So let us give them the reception they deserve.’ He glanced at the cubs. ‘You kids, you stay at the back of the house on the charpoys, no matter what. Phasti, baby, you watch me carefully…’

There was only one doorway to the house through which the suicide squad could enter. The stout wooden door still hung grimly to its hinges, though the door swung open and shut seemingly at will. It was nearly shut now, but the tigers knew that a nudge from their paws could swing it open. (The cubs had a lot of fun batting it open and shut.)

‘Right, Naradmunni, get up to that window overlooking the door. Tell me when they’re at the door…’

‘Ji huzoor!’ poor Naradmunni agreed, wishing they could all just flee. This was not going to be pretty. Porcupines were diabolical and members of ASKAA were reputed to have poison-tipped quills. ‘But will the cubs be safe?’ he asked.

‘They’ll be fine!’ Shaan-Bahadur did a few dozen effortless crunches and crouched down. ‘Now go!’

The hit squad had entered the village and was trotting down what had been the main road through it. Some houses still had precariously hinged doors, some didn’t.

The mode of attack they used was simple. The porcupines would barge in single file headfirst, spot the enemy and do a swift handbrake turn and reverse into them at top speed and then shoot off.

‘Right, here we go!’ Major Khujahomujhe snapped as they stopped outside the first doorway. It stood open. He charged through, followed by the others, with Lieutenant Col. Kabab-me-Haddi bringing up the rear—and skidded to a halt. The house was empty .

‘Clear! Take the next one!’

From a window just above the front door, Naradmunni watched in horror as the suicide squad entered one house after the other, barging in, doing stylish handbrake turns, barking out ‘clear!’ and then trotting out. They were approaching swiftly.

And then, they were outside the door of the house where Shaan-Bahadar and his family were waiting. Naradmunni looked down.

‘Huzoor, they’re here!’ he whispered. The cubs’ eyes widened as they lay in a row on the sagging charpoys and watched. They could hear the scuffling and snuffling of the hit team as they regrouped outside the door. Rana Shaan-Bahadur crouched on his haunches, his tail flicking. Naradmunni looked down and nodded again.

‘They’re just outside the door,’ he mouthed silently.

With a roar that could give you an instant enema, (and poor Naradmunni squirted his tail) Rana Shaan-Bahadur leapt at the door and flattened it over the hit team.

Two members of the squad were horribly squashed and impaled by their own spines. Lieutenant Col. Kabab-me-Haddi, at the rear, turned around and fled gibbering with terror, shedding quills as he fled. Major Khujahomujhe received a glancing blow to the head as the door crashed down with the psychopathic tiger on top of it. Stunned, he reeled drunkenly and then saw the maddened green eyes of the tiger staring at him. With a deft flick of a single claw, the tiger flipped him over on his back…

‘Come after my babies, will you?’ he snarled. They were the last words Major Khujahomujhe ever heard.

‘Way to go, way to go!’

‘Papa-Papa-Papa!’

‘You’re the greatest!’

The cubs were ecstatic.

‘Wait!’ the great tiger growled. He leapt again on the door under which the two crack members of ASKAA had now indeed inadvertently committed suicide. ‘Let me make sure this vermin is dead!’

He dragged the heavy door into the street and flipped it over. Impaled upside down in the stout wood by their own quills, the two members of the hit squad were as dead as they could be. Beside them in the dust, lay their leader Major Khujahomujhe, whose fleas were already evacuating at full speed.

‘Breakfast is served, kids!’ Rana Shaan Bahadur grinned. ‘Now be very careful how you eat these fellows.’

‘Cuddles! I have terrible news!’

‘What? And kindly address me by my proper name and rank! And where are the others?’

‘Dead! Martyred! That crazy tiger killed them all with a single blow!’

‘What?’ Col. Khujlimal rattled his quills ferociously.

‘We should leave this place right away! It is evil. It is not called Taboo Valley for nothing.’

‘Stop whimpering!’

But now, even Col. Khujlimal was rattled. A crack hit team of fanatic porcupines had been decimated. The enemy had received not one quill. They had reduced his brother to a gibbering idiot! Perhaps it was time to pull out and rethink the strategy. He ground his teeth in rage and raced about in a fury, even as Kabab-me-Haddi trembled.

‘I’ll kill them, I’ll kill them all, the infidels! They must die, they must die!’

He heard a growl and looked up. A tigress was standing in front of him, looking alarmed and angry. She growled again baring her teeth. Col. Khujlimal lost his head. He spun around and reversed full tilt towards the snarling animal. She leapt out of the way with a yowl and turned and fled.