Wanda met with her friend, Yasia. They had much to tell each other, impressions to share. What had Wanda experienced? There were many things, both new and interesting. She had been in Cracow and had seen her sister and her family. Paris had become very close to her and, at the same time, very distant.
Wanda talked about everything, except her latest experience. Only to God Himself could she tell what grief she had had to go through.
Yasia listened, holding her breath. Of course, Wanda had been in Paris! And she, Yasia, had been to Petersburg. She had something to tell, too. She had had two secret dates with a handsome officer.
Wanda opened her eyes wide, listening to Yasia. Then, in bewilderment, she asked, “Don’t you love Yuzef?”
“Of course I love him. But this was just a flirt, a fleeting passion. This feeling picked me up and carried me away.” Yasia’s voice was deep, throaty.
“And how far did it carry you away?” Wanda asked in astonishment.
“Well, what can I say?” Yasia said, shrugging. “I was very much in love with him, but it happened so unexpectedly that I didn’t have time to think about anything.”
“You didn’t answer my question. How far did your ‘fleeting passion’ go?”
Yasia grew shy. “It went far. If Yuzef had known about it, he would have killed me. I share it with you only because I have no one else to tell. Don’t judge me too severely. It can happen to anybody. Tell me, in all this time, have you had an affair with someone?”
“No,” Wanda said, shaking her head. “There has been no affair. My only affair is with Tadeush, and I want it to be endless.”
“But you’re so pretty. It seems to me that men must be pestering the life out of you. When we happen to be with you socially, I notice that men just can’t take their eyes off you. Don’t you notice it?”
“I notice it, and I’m used to it, used to compliments. But I don’t give preference to anyone. Besides, I don’t want to be a bigger sinner than I am. My other sins are enough.”
“Don’t say it like that, Wanda. We’re all sinners. One sin, more or less—it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s you who thinks that. I have another opinion. When did you last confess, in a church.”
“Last week. Why?”
“Did you tell your priest about your sin? Did you admit your sin, as a Catholic?”
“No, I don’t even want to admit it to myself. But I prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me my sin.”
Wanda did not answer. She thought a moment, understanding Yasia, because she herself had not been telling everything in confession.
“All right, Yasia,” Wanda said, smiling, “let’s talk about something else. This could come to a quarrel, and I don’t want it.”
“You’re right,” Yasia agreed. “Tell me, where are you going to celebrate Christmas?”
“We haven’t talked about it yet. I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”
“If you want, we can have it at our place. Our parents won’t come this year.”
“We still have time to talk about it. We have a lot of time before Christmas,” Wanda said. “Yasia, tell me, how many years have you been married?”
“It’s been five years this summer. Why do you ask about it all of a sudden?”
“Because you don’t have children, and I’m wondering whether you still don’t want them or if there’s another reason you don’t have them.”
“You know, I’ve been checking with the doctors for three years now, and all of them say I’m healthy. But Yuzef doesn’t want to be examined. He says he’s healthy. Frankly, I’m not very worried because Yuzef never brings the subject up. It’s my mother who insists on it all the time. She wants to have grandchildren. Why don’t you have children? Is there a reason?”
“Before I went to Paris, I didn’t know for sure why we were childless. It turned out that I had to have some treatment. The doctor guarantees that we’ll have children. I’ll have to have an examination after Christmas. It’ll be three months after the treatment.”
“I’ll go with you, Wanda. It’s time for me to go for an examination. For some reason, I feel bad.”
“If you don’t feel good, you don’t have to wait. You can go any time. I’ll go with you if you want.”
“Good. Will you tell me when you’re free? We’ll go to my doctor.”
“I think any day next week except Wednesday and Friday will be fine because on those days I’ll be going to the orphanage. I haven’t seen the children for a long time. With the holidays coming, I’ll have to prepare something.”
They agreed on Tuesday. Wanda would pick Yasia up, and they would go to the doctor.
While Wanda was talking to Yasia, Tadeush was talking to Yuzef.
That evening, at supper, Tadeush smiled and said to Wanda, “Yuzef was telling me how he and Yasia went to Petersburg. She stayed with her cousin, whom he can’t tolerate, and he rested in Petergof at his friends’. They saw each other only on Sundays. We couldn’t do it that way. Right, my dear?”
“Of course not. But Yasia didn’t say anything about that. It’s strange,” Wanda answered, pensively.
“And what could she tell you? That her cousin has an eye on her husband. He told me how she sticks to him. But she is so unpleasant that she disgusts him. And Yasia, the silly woman, doesn’t see anything. He also told me how well he was spending his time in Petergof with a young lady. I asked him if he loves Yasia. He said that, of course, he loves her, as his wife. But that doesn’t prevent him from having an affair sometimes.”
Wanda looked at her plate and did not answer. Now she understood better the relationship between Yasia and Yuzef. She did not tell Tadeush that Yasia had also been unfaithful. She understood that it was a woman’s secret and that no man would approve.
“Don’t even think about letting on that you know something when Yuzef is around. There’s no need for Yasia to know anything. He told me about it man to man.”
“You don’t have to warn me, Tadeush. I wouldn’t say anything to anyone about such a thing.”
Wanda visited the orphanage. The children gathered around her, and she was happy in their company.
It was a Catholic orphanage. Some of the pupils, having reached the proper age, were preparing to become monks or nuns. They were going to monasteries and convents. Wanda was present, sometimes, at the ceremonies held when the young orphans departed to follow their religious lives, and her feelings were mixed.
On Tuesday, she met Yasia, as they had agreed, and the two women went together to a doctor. Yasia was the first to be examined. After about thirty minutes, Yasia came out of the office. Wanda looked at her and noticed red spots on her face. Yasia sat next to Wanda but had no time to say anything because the doctor called Wanda’s name.
It was Wanda’s first visit to this doctor. She had her own physician, and decided to go to this doctor only because of Yasia’s recommendation. The doctor asked questions, and a nurse wrote down Wanda’s answers. After the questions were asked, he began to examine her.
When Wanda had dressed and was sitting in his office, the doctor said, “Your condition isn’t so bad. There is almost no inflammation. You still have to undergo treatment for two or three months. Then everything will be all right.”
Thanking him, Wanda left, thinking, “Again, I must wait for months. Everyone is comforting me.”
In the waiting area, she approached Yasia, and they walked to the exit. Wanda offered to go for a walk because the weather was good. Yasia agreed.
“Well, tell me,” Wanda said when they reached the street.
“The doctor said that I’m three months pregnant. I felt that something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t believe it.” Yasia spoke excitedly.
“How lucky you are. If the doctor had told me that, I would have flown like a bird. What a surprise this is for Yuzef.”
“You don’t understand. Remember, I told you I met an officer in Petersburg. The whole month my husband was in Petergof, we saw each other sometimes, but there was nothing between us. It’s been two and a half months since we returned from vacation. So I got pregnant in Petersburg. What’s more, we’ve been married for six years, and I’ve never been pregnant in all those years. Now you understand what I’m afraid of. If he does the calculations, how will I be able to explain it?”
Yasia’s cheeks were on fire. Wanda looked at her with concern. Several minutes passed in silence.
“It seems to me that you are worrying about nothing,” Wanda said. “Yuzef won’t notice two or three weeks. Control yourself. Behave naturally, as if everything is supposed to be this way. Make him happy and don’t tell him about the time. Tell him that it has been two or three months. Then you’ll see that I am right. Everything will be fine.”
“Oh, Wanda, I am a great sinner. I’ll have to pay yet, and for a long time, for my sin.”
She started to cry, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. They were walking along a quiet street; there were few pedestrians.
Wanda stopped. “Calm down. We might meet someone we know who will interpret your tears as he wants. And remember, you don’t want to seem upset by your pregnancy. Let’s go sit in the park. When you calm down, we’ll go on.”
It was the end of November. Yellow leaves spun and fell. It was still warm. If it were not for the color of the trees and the carpet-like covering of leaves underfoot, one would think it was the end of summer.
Wanda and Yasia walked down the path in the park, cleared the leaves off a bench, and sat down. Yasia did not cry anymore. She stared in front of her, her eyes directed at a point just beyond her feet.
One more secret had found its place in Wanda’s soul, but this time it was someone else’s secret.
A few days later, Wanda found out that all was well. Yuzef was happy about the news and told Yasia to take care of herself. Her tears he took for tears of joy. That was good. Wanda was happy for her friend. But she was upset that her own treatments had, as yet, had no results.
The Christmas holidays and the new year of 1914 were approaching. They decided to celebrate at Yasia’s, with only a few couples.
Wanda ordered a dress in the latest fashion. As she left the store, she thought she saw Chernov standing across the street. A cabman waited for her at the corner. She got into the cab and turned to look at the place where the figure had been standing. No one was there. Wanda thought it was her imagination. She had not seen him for a long time, and after all this time, she could have been mistaken. But she clearly remembered their last meeting before her departure from Paris, when she had met him at the cemetery.
Greeting cards awaited Wanda at home. She looked them over, some from acquaintances, one from Sophie. She picked up a small card printed in gold. It contained a handwritten note: “Merry Christmas, Happy New Year! Yours Truly, V. CH.”
“Well, well,” Wanda thought. “All of a sudden he decides to send a greeting card.”
She no longer had any doubts about whether she had imagined seeing Chernov. He had been there. Without fully realizing what she did, she hid the card.
Christmas at Yasia’s passed merrily. Yasia was the target of many jokes. Someone said that she must have been eating for three people; it looked as though she were expecting twins. Yasia behaved so naturally that no traces of her former anxiety could be seen.
Wanda decided that women have a well-developed ability to keep secrets.
The year 1914 arrived. What would it bring to these happy people? When the toast had been proposed and everyone had made wishes, Wanda had made only one: a baby. She wanted the Lord to send her a baby; that was all she lacked.
The winter was, as always, unstable. Now it snowed, then it rained, and at the end of February an early spring came.
In March, Yasia gave birth to a baby boy. The birth was without complication, and the baby, the doctor said, was very healthy.
Yasia was supposed to go home after a few days. Her parents arrived because it was their first grandchild. Wanda bought a present and waited for her friend impatiently. Yuzef called on Wanda and Tadeush, and they all went together to bring Yasia home with her child. Yasia had not changed at all.
Yasia’s parents were waiting for them. The baby boy was sleeping when they arrived. He had a dark complexion. Yasia and Yuzef both had white skin.
When the baby was uncovered, Yasia’s mother said, “He’s so swarthy, just like my father was.”
Her mother’s statement took a load off Yasia’s mind. Her son was as swarthy as the handsome officer.
“Well, then,” she said, “let’s name him in honor of my grandfather, since they resemble each other.”
Wanda watched the scene. She was content for her girlfriend. Everything had gone very well.
When Tadeush and Wanda were on their way home, Wanda asked her husband whether he had liked the baby. He answered that the baby was charming. A week later, Wanda visited a gynecologist who told her she was pregnant.
She could not believe it, and she asked him to check one more time.
The doctor smiled and said, “My dear, this is not the first time I’ve seen you. I’m sure you’re pregnant, and you have been for about two months. You’ll give birth in September or October.”
At home, Wanda waited for Tadeush, looking often at her watch. Finally, she heard him come in. She walked toward him.
“Let’s go to the study,” she said. “I have to tell you something.”
When Tadeush closed the door behind them, Wanda rushed to embrace him, crying with happiness.
“We’re going to have a baby. I’m pregnant. The doctor said I’ll give birth in September or October.”
Tadeush guided her to the sofa, sat beside her, and kissed her. He kissed her eyes, cheeks, and forehead and then pulled her head down and rested it on his chest.
“I’ve been waiting for this, and I’ve been afraid. The two feelings have always struggled in me. I’ve been waiting for those words with pain in my heart. And now it’s done.”
Tadeush told her that no other man could be happier than he. He told her that from then on he would be with her during almost all of his free time. Only once more, at the end of the summer, would he go to Germany to legalize the papers that would sell his business to his manager.
“It will be my last trip, my dear. I’ll need no more than two weeks to take care of these matters. Everything will be excellent, my love, just as you want it.”
Filled with happiness, Wanda said, “I begged the Mother of God, and she heard my prayers. Oh, Tadeush, tomorrow I’ll deliver donations to the orphanage and the monastery.”
It was a day in Wanda’s life worth remembering. She wrote a letter to Sophie, describing her joy.
Almost every week, Wanda was at Yasia’s, playing with the baby, knowing that soon she would be playing with her own baby. Tadeush asked her constantly how she was feeling. He went with her to see the doctor. He watched over her every move.
Spring passed and summer was drawing to a close. In August, Tadeush left for Germany. Wanda was in the seventh month of her pregnancy. She felt well, but Tadeush, in telling her good-bye, kept reminding her to take care of herself. He left orders for the servants to look after her.
They said farewell at home, and a cab took Tadeush to the train station.
Wanda passed her time in the garden. The roses were blooming, giving off a wondrous fragrance. She lay in the arbor, reading her favorite books.
One evening, after supper, she was bored, awaiting Tadeush’s return. It had been a week since he had left. A telegram arrived, saying that he had arrived safely.
One morning, she awakened, and, after her morning toilet, she started for the garden. She was having breakfast on the veranda. While serving the meal, a servant said, “Oh, Lord: I was at the market this morning. They were saying that war has begun.”
“What? What a thing to say,” Wanda answered. “Please call Nicholai for me.”
Nicholai had been a servant in the house since before Tadeush and Wanda were married. He was not a young man, but he had a strong nature. He came to Wanda on the veranda.
“You called me, madam?”
“Yes, Nicholai. Go down and bring me today’s paper.”
Wanda had finished breakfast when Nicholai brought the newspaper. On the front page Wanda read that war had indeed broken out. The citizenry was requested to remain calm.
“Oh, my God,” Wanda whispered, “if only Tadeush had come back earlier. He’s still in Germany.” Her hands grew cold, and she dropped the newspaper on the floor.
“Be calm,” she told herself. “For the sake of our baby, I must not get excited.”
But she could not dispel her anxiety. Fear gripped her heart. She left for Yasia’s and there found a complete absence of worry.
“Why are you acting this way?” Yasia asked. “Yusef says this is a brief alarm, that everything will soon be settled.”
“God grant that it will be,” Wanda answered. “Tadeush is in Germany, and I’m waiting for a telegram. It should come any time. I’ll go home. Maybe there’s already a message waiting for me.”
Wanda hurried home, but there was no telegram. The servant said that a gentleman was waiting for her. The matter was important.
In the parlor, Wanda found Chernov. He stood to greet her.
“I beg your forgiveness for just dropping in on you,” he said, “but you no doubt have heard that war has started.”
“Yes, I heard, and I read about it in the paper. Sit down, please, and tell me your opinion. How serious is it?” Wanda sat down across from him.
“It is very serious, dear Wanda. Otherwise, I would not have troubled you. The military authorities are better informed about the situation. I know you are expecting a baby, so I wanted to inform you and your husband. You can move in time deeper into Russia, a little further from Europe. The military action may spread throughout Europe.”
“Thank you very much for your concern, but, unfortunately, my husband is in Germany. He should be coming home in a day or two. I’ll tell him about your attentiveness to us. I’m very grateful to you, Mr. Chernov.”
“So your husband is in Germany. You must be worried. Just how did it happen that he left when you’re in this condition? Pardon me for asking such a question.”
“He went to sell a business to his former German manager, Shtolz. This was to be his last trip to Europe, he said. Now I’m worried about his safe return.”
“Everything will be all right. You don’t have to feel that way. When will he return?”
“In two or three days. I’m expecting a telegram no later than tomorrow.”
“So you still have some time. I’ll stop by the day after tomorrow, if you have no objections.”
“Please. You’re always welcome. I would be most grateful.”
They said goody-bye, and Wanda escorted Chernov to the door.
“God sent him,” Wanda thought. “I feel a little better now.”
She slept well that night. In the morning, she again looked through the newspaper. Events were disturbing.
Wanda spent the entire day in anticipation, but no telegram arrived. Yasia came to visit, and Wanda was diverted for a few hours. After her friend’s departure, however, Wanda grew even more pensive.
“What can I do?” she asked herself over and over.
Before going to bed she prayed again. Then, lying there, she placed her hand on her stomach. The baby was moving wildly, and Wanda told it that Papa would soon arrive and all the worry would be over. She fell asleep. It was a restless night. She dreamed, and her dreams awakened her.
The next day, the long-awaited telegram arrived. Tadeush informed her that he would be coming home on the twelfth. Wanda looked at the date the telegram had been sent. The seventh—rather a long time for a telegram. Obviously, it had been delayed somewhere.
Today was the twelfth. That meant Tadeush would soon be there. Wanda ordered everything to be made ready for his arrival.
The maid combed Wanda’s hair and placed two thick braids around her head. Wanda thanked her, telling her that she could not remember when she had awaited the arrival of her husband so impatiently.
Dinner was ready, but Tadeush was not yet there.
“Apparently, the train has been delayed,” Wanda thought.
Evening drew near. It was getting rather dark. Wanda continued to wait for her husband, not wanting to eat dinner without him.
She called the servant. Nicholai came immediately because he had not yet gone to bed.
“Nicholai, go to this address and deliver this note from me. If they tell you to wait while they compose an answer, then wait. Here’s the note and the address.”
Nicholai bowed and left, taking the note to Chernov. Wanda had written: “Most esteemed Mr. Chernov: I need your help. My husband sent a telegram, saying that he would be here today, but the day has ended without his arrival. Perhaps you know someone who manages the railroad. Please advise, as I am very upset. Tadeush had already sent a telegram on the seventh, but it arrived only this morning. Please forgive me for bothering you at such a late hour. Respectfully, Wanda.”
Nicholai rang, and Chernov himself opened the door. After he read the note, Chernov asked Nicholai to wait for a minute while he got his hat. He was going back with Nicholai to see Madam Wanda.
On the way, Chernov told the servant, “I have a request of you, my dear man. Aren’t you the one who gets all the mail for the Stanishevskys?”
Nicholai nodded, and Chernov continued. “Beginning tomorrow, you keep all letters or telegrams sent to Madam. At the end of the day, when I come over, give them to me.”
“I can’t do such a thing,” Nicholai answered, hesitantly. “I work for the Stanishevskys.”
“Understand. This is for her own good. She is with child, and she must not get excited. If something bad happens, and she should see it written in a telegram. … Now am I understood?”
“I understand. But it will be like deceiving Madam Wanda. She is so kind, so gentle.”
“This is not deception, Nicholai. There is war now, and anything can happen. Her husband is in Germany.”
They approached the house. At the entrance, Nicholai said, “All right, Mr. Chernov, I’ll keep the mail, but only if Madam Wanda doesn’t meet the postman at the door.”
Wanda was waiting in the parlor. Chernov walked in and greeted her.
“You are very kind to come, when it turns out I’m alone at such a time,” Wanda said, as if she were apologizing.
“Now what do you mean by that?” Chernov asked. “I am always at your service. It is an honor for me to be of use to you. I don’t know the train schedule exactly, but I believe they have been detained or hindered in some way. Tomorrow, for sure, I’ll find out and give you a full explanation. Now you must rest. You look tired.”
Wanda nodded submissively. “You’re right. It could be that the trains have been detained. Once again, please pardon me for disturbing you. I think everything will be cleared up tomorrow.”
Chernov promised to find out everything he could as soon as possible and took his leave.
The next day, before noon, Chernov learned that there had been a train wreck in Germany and that the train had been headed for Russia. But it was not known whether Tadeush was on that particular train.
When he arrived at Wanda’s home, Chernov asked if a telegram or other news had come. There was nothing.
Wanda was waiting for him, and could only look at him inquiringly, not quite able to ask the question. Chernov began to talk immediately.
“Don’t be upset. Trains from Germany are being detained, and it is still not known when they’ll be running on schedule again.”
He was telling the truth. After the accident, the trains could not run.
“Perhaps, dear Wanda, you can give me the address of your husband’s former manager. I want to send him a telegram personally. When we get an answer, we’ll clear up everything.”
Wanda retrieved an envelope from Tadeush’s study and silently held it out to Chernov. As he left, Chernov once again tried to calm her with assurances that everything would be all right.