Chapter Five

 

 

Nell sat in the waiting room of the Bliss County Clinic and wondered if Henry was going to bother to show up. It wasn’t a fair thing to think. Not at all. He’d come to every single appointment with her. Every time. He would be here, but usually he drove her into town.

Not today. Today he’d been picked up by Nate for some sort of secret meeting about something she didn’t care about at all because she wasn’t giving in to her curiosity. What mattered was that Henry had lied to her.

She didn’t need to know all the awful details.

She glanced over and the plant she’d brought in many months before seemed to be thriving. Likely because Naomi had joined the practice. It certainly hadn’t been Caleb. He barely noticed living humans if they weren’t actually on his exam table.

The door opened and Holly rushed in, a big bag of books in her hand. She looked flushed from the afternoon heat, and her eyes went straight to Nell.

A bit of shame flashed through her. Holly was one of her best friends in the world, and she’d ducked her for a solid week using every excuse she could think of. It had been almost a week and a half since Henry had laid out the news that he was some kind of assassin. She’d stood beside him at Hiram’s funeral and been surprised they hadn’t been inundated with questions since at least half the town knew.

But at some point Laura had found out. Likely because Rafe was the newly appointed mayor of Bliss and he’d been debriefed. Because that was what they did now. From there it had been easy to figure out what had happened. Rafe and Cam had told their wife. Laura had been worried and called Holly. They’d both tried to get hold of her for several days, but she’d simply asked for time and space.

Time and space weren’t working with Henry. She found herself getting angrier and angrier. She tamped it down because she needed…

She needed to smash something.

“Hey.” Holly slowed down as if she’d run here but now she’d caught her prey and she could take it easy.

Nell hated the fact that she wanted to turn away from this woman, that she wanted to be alone. She wasn’t a person who needed tons of alone time. She tended to crave being around groups of people. She gained energy from discussion and debate, from helping people.

She’d barely left the cabin since Hiram’s funeral.

“Hey.”

The bag in Holly’s hand hit the floor with a resounding thump. Holly sighed as she left it there and came to sit on the other side of the couch from Nell. “I went into Alamosa for books. Classes start next week.”

Holly was back in college. She was taking business classes so she could run the business side of the clinic someday.

“What are you taking?” It didn’t matter, but small talk seemed safe.

“I’ve got a statistics class I’m nervous about. Especially since I’m not the only one taking it,” she admitted with a wince.

“Alexei’s taking it, too?” Holly’s other husband had been taking classes at Adams State University in Alamosa as well, though he hadn’t decided on his area of studies yet.

Holly shook her head. “Micky. I’m taking a class with my son. I feel like such a weirdo.”

Holly’s son was proof positive that she was awesome. Micky Lang had every bit of his mother’s kindness and a wonder for the world around him that always made Nell smile. “You’re not. You’re brave and strong and you’ll teach every kid in that class that they’re never too old to follow a dream.”

She felt old. Stupid. Maybe that was a better word, though she’d been so tired lately that old felt like it worked, too. She hated feeling dumb, but even more she hated the looks of pity she would get. Like the one on Holly’s face now. It was sad when she thought about it because she would tell anyone else to not look on it as pity, to see it for what it truly was—empathy, sympathy, caring.

But she was still a seven-year-old girl watching her mom being carted off to a mental facility, hiding in the corner of her room so they wouldn’t take her away. She was still the girl who listened to the social workers talk about how sad it was her mom was insane.

She was thinking more and more about her mom lately. For obvious reasons.

“Are you okay?” Holly asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

“I’m as well as can be expected.” Nell gave her friend what she hoped was an encouraging smile. She glanced out the window, but still no Henry. “I’m here for a checkup.”

No Henry, but there was a gorgeous blonde jogging up the street. Laura wasn’t wearing her usual heels. She was in a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt, sneakers she could easily slip in and out of on her feet. She’d slung a yoga mat over her shoulder. But it was obvious she was more interested in cardio than stretching.

Nell turned back to Holly. “You called her?”

“I texted when I checked the appointments at the clinic for today,” Holly admitted.

“Isn’t that against HIPAA or something?” She couldn’t hide from a doctor’s appointment, but she’d thought she could get in and out quickly. After all, it was a weekday and she’d known Holly had to finish her registration and Laura would be at her yoga class in the park. The same yoga class Nell should have been in if it hadn’t been for Henry turning her into the town fool.

She could do that all on her own. She was well aware that some of her protests could be seen as less than normal. Mostly the ones that dealt with mime, but it was hard to yell all the time. It was good to change things up.

“I’m the office manager,” Holly replied. “Part time, but I do have access to the schedule.”

The clinic door opened and Laura walked in, tossing her mat over beside Holly’s books. “Thank god we finally ran you down. I’ve called a thousand times and knocked on your door. Nell, you can’t ignore me.”

Nell thought she’d done a pretty good job of it. “I’m fine. I needed some alone time. I haven’t felt well.”

“Really?” Laura stared down at her. She proved that motherhood had nothing to do with the physical act of delivering a baby because she had the mom look down. “You’re going with that? You have nothing to say about the whole Henry-used-to-be-a-CIA-operative thing?”

“I don’t know that it’s anybody’s business.” She wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not even with her friends.

Laura sighed, a deeply relieved sound, and sat down opposite Nell. “You knew. I was so worried that this blindsided you, but if you’re this calm, then you knew.”

“It’s okay.” Holly smiled as though she was relieved, too. “I would normally say you should have told us, but I understand why you wouldn’t. It’s important to keep that particular secret. No one’s upset. Everyone will understand you couldn’t break your husband’s confidence.”

“Mel’s already bugging him about opening up the ‘vault,’ as he calls it,” Laura admitted. “Apparently Mel believes the CIA has a vault filled with knowledge about alien encounters. He also made Henry take a shot of his special beet-infused whiskey. It’s horrible. Seriously, if I was an alien, it would keep me away, too.”

Henry hadn’t mentioned that, though every time he tried to talk about anything other than what they needed to do around the house, she shut him down. She couldn’t listen right now. She was in some kind of purgatory where she couldn’t quite tell him to get out and she couldn’t do the things they needed to heal the wound.

She wasn’t sure the wound could heal.

“I’ve always known you two had some kind of big secret between you,” Laura admitted with a smile. “You’re going to think this is crazy, but I decided you and Henry write romantic novels under the name Libby Finn.”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Nell wouldn’t write romance. I told her. She made me read those books and not one of them talked about recycling. Although some of the characters are oddly close to a few people we know.”

“Her latest book was about a woman named Heidi, a doctor named Calvin, and a former Ukrainian mobster named Andrei,” Laura said. “She’s here in this town. I swear. Or she’s someone’s sister and hears all the gossip. I would say it’s Callie, but Callie can’t keep a secret.”

Oh, but Nell could. Still, she hadn’t even known the biggest secret of her life. “I didn’t know. Not until last week. So I take it the word is out to everyone now?”

She’d been hiding from this all week, but it was time to face it. After all, it wasn’t like she’d done anything wrong beyond being unable to see what was right in front of her face.

Both of her friends simply sat there for a moment, staring at her like they didn’t know who she was.

“You didn’t know.” Laura seemed to have to say the words in order to believe them.

“I’m not anywhere near as smart as you two seem to think I am,” she said with a humorless chuckle. “I had no idea until I watched my husband kill a man.”

“Henry killed someone?” Holly’s question came out loud, seeming to ping around the room. She flushed and lowered her voice. “I thought that was a joke. I mean, he was CIA, of course, but he worked in an office, right?”

Nell shook her head. “Nope. He was a license-to-kill kind of guy. And he was in the Army.”

Holly’s eyes managed to widen even further. “He was a soldier? We’re talking about the US Army, not some group that calls themselves an army, right? Like Wildlife Warriors? I could see that.”

“He was Special Forces. He was so good at it, they recruited him into the CIA.” He was everything she’d believed was wrong with the world. Not the idea of a soldier. The world needed soldiers and protectors, but that wasn’t necessarily what the CIA did. On the surface, yes, but history had proven the CIA mostly watched out for the CIA.

Holly turned Laura’s way. “You’re supposed to be a hotshot profiler. How did you not see this? I am Suzy Sunshine and tend to think everyone is awesome until they prove themselves to be awful. You’re supposed to be smarter than me. Smarter than us. You’re obviously the brains of our friendship, and you have failed.”

“Hey,” Laura began and then deflated. “I didn’t see it at all. He’s good. I should have gotten something off him. I used to find actual serial killers.”

According to Henry himself, he practically was one, though all of his kills had been sanctioned by the US government. Or Nate Wright.

Maybe she should protest Nate. It had been a while, and he seemed to have forgotten that there were procedures to be followed.

Henry could have died. It could have been Henry on the floor of the Feed Store Church, his lifeless eyes staring up at her.

“Hey, you just went pale,” Laura said.

“I’ll get Caleb.” Holly stood up.

Nell reached for her hand to stop her. “I’m fine. Rachel’s in there right now. At least I think she is. She had the appointment before me. Caleb likes to get all the pregnant stuff done at one time.”

Holly sank back down. “I’m so sorry. This has to be hard on you.”

Laura had sobered as well. “Are you all right? Please don’t give us a bullshit answer. We’re your friends. You’ve been hiding. You need to talk about this.”

But if she talked about it, then it would be real. She would have to make a decision, and she wasn’t ready for that yet.

“She’ll talk about it when she’s ready,” a deep voice said.

Holly started and Laura turned around to face the newcomer. Henry stood just inside the door of the clinic.

“I didn’t hear you,” Holly said. “The door makes a noise when it opens.”

Henry simply shrugged. “It doesn’t have to if you know how to open it.”

He wasn’t hiding it anymore. There was a difference to her husband that had come in the last few days, some odd meshing of his two personalities. He was still Henry, but sometimes she was almost sure she could see John Bishop beneath that grim expression he wore. He was here now, staring at her friends like she needed protection from them.

They were likely the ones who needed protection.

“Caleb is running late,” she said, trying to tamp down the emotion that flared the moment he walked into any room she happened to be in. Anger always rushed to the surface, but there was something even more dangerous beneath the rage. Curiosity.

She kind of wanted to know this Henry.

He nodded and started to move toward her.

Her friends stood and stared him down.

“Nell, do you want Henry here?” Laura asked.

“I can go in with you if you don’t want to go alone,” Holly offered.

Something dark sparked in Henry’s eyes.

She wished she didn’t have such a visceral reaction to that look. A pretty sexual reaction.

She knew how to tame this particular beast. She held out her hand. “Of course I want him with me. This is his baby, too. Come here, Henry. You can wait with me.”

The dark look fled and he practically tripped over his own feet trying to get to her. He ignored Laura and Holly, his eyes never leaving hers.

He wore his usual uniform of khakis and a T-shirt, Birkenstocks on his stupid big sexy feet. He didn’t look like a man who’d held up the patriarchy and the oligarchy and all the archies with his spy work.

What had he called himself? A spy master? Or did he mean spy Master? Because that could be a book title.

It was the first time she’d even thought about writing in a week.

“Did the drive go all right? I’m sorry I couldn’t take you myself.” He reached for her hand as he sat down beside her, taking Holly’s place.

“It was fine. I can still drive.” She almost wanted the predator back. At least the predator didn’t look at her like she was fragile and might fall apart at any moment.

Even if that was exactly how she felt.

“Did the talk with Nate go all right?” Nell asked. “Did you find anyone else you need to kill?”

“Nell,” Laura started, sounding completely surprised, but then she rarely heard Nell be so sarcastic.

“No, dear.” Henry ignored Laura entirely. “I haven’t found anyone else I need to kill. Yet. There’s a situation brewing out in California that I might have to deal with. I don’t know how to though. I have to think about it.”

She wasn’t sure what that meant, but there wasn’t time to deal with it because the door to the exam room opened and Rachel stepped out, followed by both of her husbands.

“You’re up, Nell.” Rachel had her baby bag slung over her shoulder. “Doc is going to warm up the lube this time. Or else he’s going to answer to me.”

Naomi Turner walked out of the exam room, shaking her head. “I told him you would care.”

“Holly, I’m going to need you to shove an ice cube up the slit of your husband’s dick so he knows what it feels like,” Rachel ordered.

“Will do,” Holly promised, though Nell knew she’d learned long ago to simply agree that Caleb deserved every punishment possible for his fairly wretched bedside manner.

“Why the hell does he need lube?” Henry stood up, his hands fists on his hips and an outraged look in his eyes.

Max nodded Henry’s way, holding Paige in his arms. The toddler girl seemed fascinated with her father’s ear. “Good for you, brother. I told you not to read those books. You might be the first person to ever take my advice. And the Internet is the worst. Ignorance is the only way to go.”

“He’s doing a check on my cervix,” Nell explained. “It’s nothing to worry about. It’s not half as bad as a pap smear, but I hope his hands aren’t cold.”

Henry actually blushed as he obviously figured out what she was talking about. “Oh.”

Nell stood because Caleb walked out. “Big bad spy can’t handle his wife’s cervical exam? If you can’t, feel free to stay here in the lobby.”

Wife. She caught on the word. She’d married Henry Flanders. It was right there on the marriage license. He’d signed his name. Henry Flanders.

Henry Flanders didn’t exist.

She felt tears spring to her eyes, and she turned and walked out. She couldn’t do this right now. She couldn’t hold his hand and pretend like they were a happy couple waiting on their baby.

What would her baby’s name be? Would she go back to Finn since it was a legal name?

She pushed through the door to the clinic and was blasted with late-summer air. It filled her lungs and she could barely breathe.

She needed to go home. She could take a nap and when she woke up there would be dinner to make, and she had a virtual meeting with a group of young activists who needed a mentor. She would make her way through the day and deal with whatever happened tomorrow then.

She had to get home and away from all the eyes on her.

“Nell.” Henry jogged up behind her. “Sweetheart, are you all right?”

She was so sick of that question. “Am I all right?”

They’d all stepped out of the clinic, Caleb joining his wife. They were all staring her way.

“Yeah.” Henry sounded breathless. “You just walked out. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk about…”

“My cervix? You can say it, Henry. God knows your dick has bumped against it enough,” she shot back.

Henry’s eyes went super wide, and he stared at her like he’d never seen her before.

She’d practically screamed at him.

“Come on back inside,” Henry said, his tone so reasonable it made her want to punch his stupid perfect face. “I think Caleb’s ready for us.”

“Us? There’s no us here. You’re not the one who’s pregnant. Oh, I know I’ve said in the past that we would share this, but we can’t. You’re not the one who threw up for weeks, and I’m betting your nipples don’t ache the way mine do. You’re not the one who will soon have Caleb’s overly large fingers shoved up your hoohaa.” She pointed Caleb’s way. “Yeah, I’m talking about you, Doc. I know I said you’re good at a pelvic exam, but I was lying to spare your feelings.”

This wasn’t her. She was nice. She was considerate. And what had it gotten her? A man who lied. A baby she would likely have to raise on her own because she was living her mother’s life.

Caleb frowned. “I don’t really have feelings.”

“Good. Then you won’t care when I tell you you’re not a gentle doctor,” she yelled his way.

It felt good to yell.

“You tell him, Nell!” Max held his fist up in solidarity. “I’ve had his whole fist up my asshole. He’s a sadist.”

Paige grinned. “Ashooo.”

“Max!” Rachel was yelling now too.

Caleb frowned, his brows furrowing. “It was not my whole fist. Why would I do that?”

“She was sneezing, baby,” Max said even as his toddler tried out the new word she’d learned.

“You are scaring the tourists, my love,” Henry said under his breath. “Maybe we should go inside and discuss Caleb’s poor cervical techniques. Perhaps I can give him some pointers.”

She wanted to take the hand he offered. She wanted to be the Nell she’d always chosen to be. Good. Kind. Thoughtful. A woman who put her anger into advocacy, who tried to use the rage every human being felt as fuel to make the world better.

“Are we married?” She wished the world wasn’t so watery.

Henry’s face fell. “Baby, of course we are. Come here.”

He was holding his arms open, offering her the place that had always been safest for her. She could be angry or scared or sad and being in Henry’s arms made the world recede. His touch could calm her, remind her she wasn’t alone, wasn’t misunderstood.

She took a step back because that place had been a lie, too. “Are we legally married?”

He paled.

Well, at least she wouldn’t have to divorce him.

“Yes, we are,” he said, his tone firming.

“How? You have to use your legal name in order to sign a contract.” If someone had asked weeks ago she would have said a marriage didn’t need to be legal anywhere but inside the couples’ hearts. But now she wanted to know how tied to him she was. How far he’d gone to perpetuate his lies.

That dark look was back. This version of Henry was a lot like the Dom. He didn’t like to be challenged. It was one of the things she loved about her Henry. He could be a wonderful partner in their normal lives. They could argue and debate and he never once took it as an affront. But in the bedroom…oh, in the bedroom he was a brilliant caveman, taking what he wanted.

“I assure you my paperwork is perfect, love. You won’t find any loopholes to wiggle out of. The marriage is on the books. You are Nell Flanders and you will continue to be Nell Flanders.” He practically growled the words and then he seemed to deflate. “Baby, I promise you I wasn’t trying to trick you. I wanted to marry you more than anything in the world.”

How could she believe him?

“Nell, do you want to reschedule?” Caleb shouted the question across the parking lot.

She glanced around and realized she had far more of an audience than she’d imagined.

“Caleb, maybe we should go inside.” Holly had a hand on her husband’s white jacket.

She stood there completely frozen in place because she had an appointment and it was about the health of her baby. Henry’s baby. But she wanted to go home and lock it all out and pretend it wasn’t happening.

She was always assertive, always knew what she wanted and how to advocate for herself to get it.

She was so lost now.

“Henry, I think Nell is going to take this appointment without you.” Laura took Nell’s hand firmly in hers. “She shouldn’t miss appointments, and I’ll be with her the whole time. I’ll take her for some lunch afterward and I’ll drop her back off at the cabin this afternoon.”

The look on his face told Nell he wanted to argue, but he stepped back. “Is this what you want…what you need?”

She had no idea, but she wasn’t sure she could talk about the baby with Henry, so she nodded. “Do you need the keys?”

He backed away, his face going blank. “I have mine. I’ll see you at home.”

He turned and walked toward their Jeep.

“Come on, honey.” Laura gently tugged on her hand. “Let’s get this over with and we’ll go back to my place for lunch. The guys are out, and I can make you something nice.”

She wasn’t hungry, but she followed Laura inside the clinic.

She didn’t look back.

 

* * * *

 

Henry sat in front of his computer, thankful for once to have a problem to work on because if he thought about Nell, he might go fucking crazy.

Think about Nell? He couldn’t not think about her, and it had been that way since the moment they’d met.

Are we legally married?

The question had stopped him in his tracks. They’d been legally married, and all the proper paperwork had been filed. He had everything he needed to prove he was Henry Flanders, damn it. He’d made sure of it.

But it was a house of cards, and all it would take was one stiff wind to blow it all apart.

He glanced over at her desk. She hadn’t sat there at all this week. She’d studiously avoided her laptop. Apparently she wasn’t in the mood to write romantic stories.

Because her own romance had imploded so spectacularly.

He sat back and sighed. What the hell was he going to do? She’d lost her cool earlier today, and that just wasn’t Nell. She was serene, even in the face of turmoil.

He heard the sound of a vehicle coming up the drive and stood to greet her. It was still a little early, and maybe that was a good thing. Maybe she’d thought about it and wanted to talk.

He frowned when he realized it wasn’t his sweet Nell coming up to the door. It was Stef Talbot.

The door was open, and he could see the big artist plainly through the screen. Stef Talbot was also known as the King of Bliss. This was his town, and he ruled over it more than any mayor ever would, though Henry thought Stef might find Rafe harder to deal with than Hiram had been.

He should have known this meeting was coming. He’d sat across from Stef a few days before when he’d debriefed Rafe after he’d officially taken the mayor’s job. He’d made the decision to bring in Stef and inform him of the situation. Stef hadn’t said much at the time, merely asked to be kept up to date.

He should have known Stef would want this conversation to be private. “Come on in, Stef. Nell isn’t here, but then I think you probably know that.”

“She’s at Laura’s.” Stef stepped inside. “At least that’s what I’ve heard. I also heard about the scene at the clinic earlier today. I thought it might be a good time for us to talk.”

“All right.” His every nerve was on edge, and he needed to chill because showing Stef Talbot how dangerous he could be wouldn’t help his case. “I thought I explained everything during the briefing, but I can certainly answer any question you have.”

Stef was a tall man. He had a couple of inches on Henry, and his body was corded with lean muscle. Unlike most men, he didn’t find the artist physically intimidating. It was the influence Stef had over the town Henry loved that made him truly dangerous. “I’m afraid I spent most of that meeting in shock. I needed some time to think. You threw me for a loop, Henry.”

“You know who I am. You just didn’t know who I used to be.”

Stef stared at him for a moment. “Did you come to my town to hide?”

There was the arrogant king. He didn’t blame Stef. He knew pretty much everything there was to know about his neighbors, and Stef’s need to protect the town, to claim it as his, came from his childhood. Stef had been given all the comforts of wealth, but his mother had been completely out of his life and his father had been distant as well. This town had raised Stef, had given him a harbor in the storm.

The way it had for Henry.

“I originally came because Bill was the only person I thought I could talk to.” His first instinct had been to tell Stef it wasn’t his business and to get out. But that was the Bishop in him. Henry talked his problems through with friends. God, he hoped Stef was still his friend. “I was at a crossroads. I hated what I’d become, but I didn’t know what I wanted. The Agency was all I’d known at that point. I went from foster care to the Army to the Agency. When I left, I was responsible for many operatives, many missions. I had power at the Agency, but I met Nell and I realized it was hollow. My power was nothing in the face of her belief. I didn’t come here to hide. I came here to find myself.”

Stef seemed to take that in. “You love Nell.”

It wasn’t a question, but Henry found he had a need to answer. “I love her more than I’ve loved anything or anyone in my life. She’s the best part of me, the only part of me I’m proud of.”

“All right. I’m sorry to question you. My wife laughed when I asked her what she thought.”

“What did Jen say?”

“She said you ate too much tofu to not be in love,” Stef said, a smile finally creasing his face. He sobered quickly. “How much danger are we in?”

“If they come, they’ll come looking for me. If I can’t handle them, then I’ll let them take me.” He’d gone over and over it in his head. “If I thought they would leave my wife alone, I would go. I can’t know what intel they’ve gathered. If they know about Nell, they’ll use her against me.”

It was what kept him up at night. The idea of his wife and their unborn child in the hands of the cartel wrecked him.

“Are you working with Nate on a plan to keep her safe?” Stef asked. “Should you two be out here on your own?”

“To be honest, I’m afraid to tell my wife she’s going to need security. She’s already upset with me.” He nodded toward the sofa where his blankets and pillows were sitting neatly folded. “As everyone in town could tell when she screamed about her cervix in the parking lot of the clinic.”

That got Stef’s brows to rise. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like Nell. I mean, who hasn’t heard her yell about female parts, but she’s typically upset the patriarchy is trying to control her uterus.”

“She didn’t want me at her appointment.” He couldn’t stand the fact that she hadn’t taken comfort in him. It had become a point of pride that he was the one she turned to. He hoped Laura had held her hand during the exam. He’d wanted so badly to be in there with her, to ask questions and listen for the heartbeat. He hoped Caleb had been able to find it quickly because she would be worried if he had to search for it for long.

Had he had any right to get her pregnant? To put her through all of this for the simple fact that he longed for a child with the woman he loved.

“I need to know what your plans are,” Stef said quietly. “Are you going to take care of this?”

“I’m not sure how. If I turn myself in to the Agency, it leaves Nell vulnerable. If I go after the cartel myself, I leave Nell vulnerable and I probably end my marriage.” He might not have a choice. “Part of the problem is how things have moved in the years since I left. I’ve spent the last week working on putting some pieces together. The cartel I was investigating ended up working with one in Mexico. They’re still around, but they’ve lost some of their power. Something’s going on. There are pieces being moved around that I don’t like. I’m seeing a pattern.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means that my past is coming back to haunt me in more ways than one,” Henry admitted. “Some of the last operations I put in place before I came here are unravelling in a way I never intended. I’m not sure what to do about it. I might have to leave for a while. The problem is I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to come back.”

“No one will stop you,” Stef replied. “Nell is going to have a baby, and you’re the baby’s father. I doubt she’ll keep your child from you. She might be angry, but she’s not vindictive.”

“Tell that to my spinal cord,” he replied with a sigh. “That couch might have been sustainably built, but it was not meant for sleeping.”

“And yet you’re still sleeping here when Seth’s monster is within walking distance,” Stef pointed out.

“I can’t leave Nell. She might need me.” It was why the thought of taking care of the situation was so distasteful. That and the fact that he didn’t want to do that work anymore. He was tired of having blood on his hands.

However, if Kayla Summers was in trouble, he didn’t have a choice. He owed her. He’d ruthlessly placed her in danger, and now he might be the only one who could save her.

“I came here to talk to you about that. If you need to leave for a while, Nell can come to the house. I’ll pay for round-the-clock protection. I’ll call some friends and find a good company to use,” Stef offered.

He knew who he trusted. “Use McKay-Taggart.”

“I thought you were against that company.”

“Only because Ian Taggart was one of my protégés,” Henry admitted. “Call him. He’s absolutely the best, and he’ll have trained the best. He’s going to find out I’m alive at some point, though you might not mention you know me. I don’t know that Taggart won’t be angry. I left everyone when I came to Bliss. I dropped it all.”

“Don’t do the same thing again,” Stef advised. “Don’t drop us. It would be a huge mistake. I know Nell.”

“Then you should know there’s a possibility that she never forgives me. Hell, today she basically said she thinks we’re not really married.”

“Because you lied about your name.” Stef nodded. “I would be worried about that, too. Do you want me to have a lawyer look into it?”

“It wouldn’t matter at this point.”

“But it will in the future,” Stef said. “Your name is on her LLC. You’re on all the joint accounts.”

Was that why he was here? To look out for Nell. “Yes. I do want a lawyer. Have one draw up a postnuptial agreement. Whether or not our marriage is legal, it’s real to me, and any documents like that will give her some sense of peace. If I leave the marriage, I’ll leave with what I brought in. Nothing.”

When he’d walked away from his old life, he’d walked away from everything. He’d left behind his condo, his car, all of his money. Everything he’d saved and invested. He hadn’t touched it because it was more important to maintain the illusion of his death.

“Henry, you’ve made a lot of money.”

“Nell’s talent has made a lot of money,” Henry corrected. “And she started publishing before I came back. She keeps everything, including the cabin and the land. I won’t take anything away from her.”

Henry hadn’t realized how tense Stef had been until his shoulders relaxed.

“All right. I’ll have the documents drawn up. I actually think it could have an impact on Nell,” Stef allowed. “No matter what happens, I don’t think you should leave Bliss. I know Seth will let you stay in that monstrosity of a house, but there are also some cabins around that you can lease, and there’s lots available to build on. You might like building a place for you and your kid.”

“I’ve been wondering if I deserve a kid. Maybe it would be better if I wasn’t in his life.” He’d never wondered, but was that why his father had walked? Had he known what a shit he was and that any kid would be better off alone than with him? “It’s not like I know how to be a parent. My dad walked away and my mom died young.”

Stef shook his head. “So did mine. Well, my mom walked away and my dad was absent. And I love my son with every fiber of my being. It’s not about what we know or what we’ve been through. That’s the amazing thing about kids. They don’t care. All that matters is if you love them enough to be with them. They’ll handle a lot of heartache if you share it with them, teach them how to be good humans. I think that’s what Nell would call it. You know how to be a good human, Henry.”

Nell had taught him. This town had taught him. “I know how to be a bad one, too.”

“And that’s why you’ll be good at this if you choose to honor your vows. Nell doesn’t think you’re legally married? Show her that her husband doesn’t need a piece of paper to do the work of being her husband.” Stef stepped back, moving toward the door. “I think that’s Laura bringing Nell home. Give me a call and we’ll set some things in motion.”

“I’ll do what’s best for Nell. I promise. That’s why you came, right? You wanted to make sure I’ll do right by a woman you view as a sister.” Henry knew Stef tended to view some of the citizens he’d been around for a long time as his family.

Stef turned back. “I did. But I also came because at some point in the last few years, you became my brother, and I don’t want to lose you.” He turned. “Hey, Nell. I came by to say hello.”

“Hi, Stef.” Nell walked in, waving behind her. She stopped when she saw him and her purse dropped to the floor. “Henry? Henry, are you all right? Did Stef say something?”

“I’m fine. Why.”

“Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry.” She rushed to him and threw her arms around him.

There was no way he wouldn’t take that. It was too good to be close to her. He was always close to her, and the week since they’d last been together had been one long walk in the desert. He held her tight and didn’t even care that tears had blurred his eyes when Stef had made it plain he belonged in Bliss.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever truly belonged anywhere.

“Is the baby all right?” Henry managed to ask.

Nell pulled back and then gasped as she seemed to come to a revelation. “Oh, Henry. I didn’t think about the fact that you would be worried. The baby is fine. I should have thought about how you would feel.”

“It’s okay. You needed time. I’m going to respect that, but I would like it if you would text me when you get out next time.”

“You can come.” Nell straightened her skirt and walked back to grab her bag. “I’m sorry I was so emotional today. You’re the baby’s father. Unless you’re planning to leave, and then I would prefer you weren’t in our lives at all.”

She’d gone cold fast, and that made him ache because Nell wasn’t cold. Not ever. Even her anger was a warm thing that proved her rage came from a place of caring. But there was a harmful indifference moving her now.

“I told you I don’t want to leave.”

“I wasn’t sure since the reason for you to be here is gone now,” she replied.

“What does that mean?”

“Do you honestly think the Agency doesn’t know?” Nell asked. “If the cartel knows, I would suspect the Agency knows. They might already have someone here watching you.”

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t thought about. The trouble was he couldn’t be sure how long the Agency had known, so he didn’t know how far back to look. “That is a possibility. If I was running an op on a wayward agent, I would send in someone long term. An operative who could get close to the agent. But Nell, I don’t want to leave. If they come for me, they come for me. If they do, you have to let them take me.”

That seemed to stop her for a moment. “What will they do to you?”

He wasn’t going into this with her. “It doesn’t matter. If I tell you to run, go to Stef’s. He’ll protect you. You let them take me. No arguments. If they come in the front, you walk out the back, go to Seth’s, and call Stef. He knows what to do.”

“Maybe you should run.”

“If they know about me, they know about you. Running would only leave you unprotected. And honestly, I don’t want to run. I ran from them and found this place. I don’t want to leave Bliss. If you can’t forgive me, I’ll rent a cabin of my own and I’ll find work, but I have no intentions of leaving Bliss. I’ll admit I thought about the fact that I might not be a good father, that maybe I should let you find someone who knows how to be a dad.”

She turned and walked into the kitchen, but not before he caught a sheen of tears in her eyes. “I think you’ll be a good father.” She picked up the kettle and started to fill it. “So you came here to get away from the Agency and the cartel, but you decided you liked it?”

“I came here because I fell in love with you.” He was tired. A weariness threatened to overtake him, but he couldn’t exactly go to bed. He didn’t have one anymore. “I’ve got some research to do. I’ll be at my computer if you need me.”

Nell looked back at him. “Research?”

“Seth and I have been trying to piece together what happened after I left.”

“What happened with the cartel you were watching?”

He nodded. “After I left there was a bunch of fallout. Apparently some money and a shipment went missing and that started a mini war inside the organization.” He probably shouldn’t talk about this, but she looked interested. It was the most eye contact they’d had in days. “After the fallout cleared, the cartel in Colombia started working with one in Mexico.”

“I thought they were always at war.”

“No, it’s actually often very businesslike. Don’t get me wrong. There was bloodshed, but the man who runs the Jalisco cartel obviously wanted the infrastructure associated with the weakened Colombian cartel. The trouble is the same man who took over now has a connection to someone I used to work with.”

“Another operative?”

“She was a trainee at the time.” His heart twisted at the thought of Kayla Summers. “She was one of my worst mistakes. Not because she was bad. She was excellent, but…” The last thing he needed was for her to find out how ruthless he could be. “You don’t need to hear this. Uhm, I can go work at Seth’s if you would rather be alone.”

She seemed to think about it for a moment. “Are you worried she’s in trouble?”

“Yes. I don’t like the pattern I’m seeing, and I don’t like what I’ve found out about the man who took over my job. I fear he’s manipulating the situation, and now he’s got Kayla involved, and weirdly enough, a Hollywood action star.”

Nell’s chin came up. “I’d like to hear this story, Henry.”

“I don’t come off looking good.” He wasn’t sure telling her this particular story would help his cause, but at least she wasn’t kicking him out.

“You wanted to tell me before. I’m ready to listen.”

“I wanted to tell you a breezy version that makes me look noble for choosing love,” he replied, a wistful tone to his voice.

She grabbed a mug and placed it on the counter. “Well, I want the real version. This feels like something you’re going to have to deal with, and I’d like to know why.”

He’d been thinking the same thing—that he might have to insert himself into this situation. “I’m not sure how I would handle it. I can’t exactly walk in and announce myself. I would have to be sneaky, and I have no connection to some Hollywood actor.”

It was obvious to him that the Agency was using the actor to get to the head of the cartel and likely to put Kayla into whatever place they wanted her in. The easiest thing to do would be to inform the actor of who his “friend” really was. If he could break the relationship between the actor and the man he didn’t know was a criminal, then Kayla would no longer be in danger.

But somehow he didn’t think an email would do the trick. He needed to get into Josh Hunt’s circle, but without Kayla knowing about it.

The kettle started whistling. “Of course you do. There’s always a connection. That’s the funny thing about our world. There’s only a few degrees of separation between any two people. The key is finding the connection. Now tell me the story.”

It was the most assertive he’d heard her talk in days. Well, besides yelling at him in the parking lot. “All right. But like I said, I’m not the hero of the story. It all started when I discovered the MSS agent I’d been going up against for a couple of years had a twin sister here in the States. It was then that I realized I could have a double agent if I played my cards right.”

He continued, and for the first time in weeks, she actually listened to him.