Chapter Six

 

 

She couldn’t have written that story if she’d tried.

The next morning Nell sat at her computer contemplating the problems Henry had laid out for her the night before. When he’d been with the Agency, he’d found out about a young American woman named Kayla Summers and her twin sister, who worked as a spy for her home country of China. He’d manipulated the situation so Kayla had believed her sister to be dead and had taken her place at MSS, while her husband had taken the other twin and had the best of both worlds.

He was ruthless. Or at least he used to be. She’d watched the guilt he felt play out on his face as he’d told her the story. He’d lied and manipulated and placed a young woman in a position she shouldn’t have been in, one that could have led to her horrible death.

Would he have ever seen how wrong that had been if he hadn’t come to Bliss? Would he still be out there, still pulling strings and playing games? Had this place truly changed him? Or was it one more manipulation meant to make John Bishop’s life more comfortable?

She’d managed to shove those questions aside briefly as she’d worked on the problem at hand.

“So Kayla is now the bodyguard for Joshua Hunt. I can’t say I like his movies. The romantic comedies are good, but I don’t love action. It’s filled with white male rage.” She wasn’t sure what they had to rage about, but they did it a lot.

“It’s not my favorite either. They often get things wrong, and that’s not how gun fights normally go. It’s way more boring. It’s better to snipe your opponent.” Henry looked up from his laptop. “Sorry.”

It was actually kind of nice for him to be honest. “I take it you’ve sniped a lot of people?”

His eyes went back to his screen. “Probably more than my fair share.”

She didn’t want to find him fascinating. The night before she’d sat and drank her tea while they’d eaten black bean soup and he’d told her the whole story of Kayla Summers going from college student to CIA double agent. Now the young woman was with a security firm, but Henry believed she was still doing side work for the Agency. She was currently the bodyguard for a Hollywood star who had connections to a drug lord.

Henry thought the star had no idea he was dealing with a drug lord. Or the Agency. He feared that someone was using his former protégée in a way that could get her killed.

“I’ve thought a lot about this. I think you should go and deal with it.”

He looked up, frowning. “I’m not sure how I would deal with it. I can’t walk in and announce I used to be with the Agency and I think you’re in danger. Oh, and your bodyguard is also Agency and I’m definitely worried she’s in danger, and hey, she thinks I’m dead and so does her boss. Could you keep that secret?”

Put like that it did sound silly. But she’d lain in bed and all she could think about was the fact that those poor people didn’t know what was coming for them, and Henry could help. He’d explained that he didn’t trust the man who’d taken over his job. Someone who went by the name of Levi Green. Henry was worried Green was manipulating the situation and potentially working with the head of the cartel.

His old world was shadowy and dangerous, and he’d worked in shades of gray.

It was so hard to think of her husband in that world. And yet she also wanted to know more. That world had shaped him in so many ways, ways she hadn’t contemplated.

“The actor is working on a film about a DEA agent.” She knew how to look things up, too. “Joshua Hunt is known for meticulously researching his characters. He’s probably planning on meeting with a DEA agent.”

“Yeah, I read an article about how he always tries to have a consultant on set.”

It seemed to be the easiest solution. “Why couldn’t that consultant be you? You know about those things. It would be simple for you to answer his questions and then suggest a meeting before you go to the set. You could meet with him and show him what you’ve found out.”

“I’m not a DEA agent.”

She shrugged that off. “But you could be. You’re good at playing a part.”

His jaw tightened. “Nell, this isn’t a part I’m playing.”

That’s what he kept telling her. He claimed he wouldn’t leave Bliss if she decided to end the marriage she still wasn’t sure was legal. “You used to go undercover, right?”

He sighed. “Yes. I did. I often went undercover.”

She bit back all the questions that sprang to mind. It wasn’t the time to be the curious writer. “Why don’t you go undercover as a DEA agent?”

“Because I’m not a DEA agent. And I don’t know one. Even if I did, how would I ensure Hunt would pick me?”

“He doesn’t pick. He asks whatever agency he’s researching to send someone. You might not know a DEA agent, but Nate and Zane do. He came to visit them last summer.”

Henry leaned forward, nodding. “I remember that. He was roughly my age.”

“If you could ensure Nate’s friend gets picked as the liaison, then you take his place and you warn Hunt.” It seemed fairly simple to her. “You can even go down to the set. It’s in Mexico, not far from the state of Jalisco.”

Henry had explained that he was certain that was where it would all go down.

“I could figure out what’s going on and if I need to intervene further.” Henry’s expression had turned distinctly thoughtful. “I would have to go to California, and then possibly to Mexico. I don’t want to leave you.”

He would be off on a mission. It was so hard to think of her Henry that way, but she had to wrap her brain around it. “Will you be able to live with yourself if something happens to Kayla Summers?”

The hollow look was back in his eyes. “No.”

“Then we have a plan. We need to talk to Nate.” Nate would put them in touch with his old buddies at the DEA, and if they needed more influence they had Stef, who could talk anyone into anything, and Seth, who could simply go in and change the records and suddenly reality was whatever Seth wanted it to be. It was good to have a plan.

“Nell,” he began.

She shook her head. “I think you should do this. I don’t like the idea that you lied to that young woman so she would do your dirty work. You have to make it better.”

“Will you forgive me if I do this?”

She sighed. He was trying to make this far less complicated than it was. She couldn’t simply turn off her hurt and suspicions. “Henry, it’s not about forgiveness. I can forgive you but I can’t go back to the life we had before. You’re not the man I thought I married. Can you understand that?”

“No. I am the man you married. I don’t know how to prove it to you. I changed my whole life to fit into yours because you’re everything to me.” He stood and started pacing. It was something he did from time to time, but now she caught the predatory grace to his movements. “I never protested a damn thing in my life before I met you.”

A flare of anger lit inside her. He wanted to argue about what he’d had to give up? “I’ve never been anything but honest with you. You knew exactly who I was when you married me. You never asked me to be anyone different. I don’t know what I would have done, but you didn’t even give me the chance to try to bend for you. So don’t come back and tell me I’m some kind of tyrant who forced you into this. Do you even like tofu? Do you eat meat when I’m not around? I’m not going to judge you for it. I just want to know.”

He stood and crossed the space between them. “I haven’t had a bite of meat since the day before I came home to you. I do not miss it. I love your food. I love eating the way we do because it makes me feel healthy and it makes you happy. I know you think I’ve used you as a cover, but our marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me. Loving you is my whole world.”

She wished she could believe him. “I need…”

“Time,” he finished for her with a sigh. “And me being out of Colorado would give it to you. If I leave you’ll have to go and stay with Stef.”

She stood up and faced him. “I’m not leaving my home.”

“Then I won’t go. I can’t be certain they won’t show up while I’m gone.”

“You don’t know for sure anyone’s coming at all,” she pointed out. “You won’t know until you figure out what the situation is. You can do it by going to Mexico yourself, or you can turn yourself over to the Agency.” It was the only solution she’d come to. He needed to know what was happening or they would be in this perpetual state of fear and anxiety. They wouldn’t be able to figure out if they could move on until they could breathe.

He moved to stand in front of her. “I can’t leave you here alone with no one to protect you. I won’t be able to work if I don’t know you’re all right. I’ll spend every second of my time worried about you.”

She didn’t like the fact that he was so close. It would be far too easy to put her arms around him. “I don’t want to be at Stef’s. I want to be home.”

“Then I’ll call the Agency and I’ll admit that I’m alive and inform them of what I think is happening. I’ll agree to go into custody but only if they give you protection.”

He was good at putting her in a corner. She loved Stef and Jen, but they had a pretty full house between the two of them, their newborn son, his father, Sebastian, and stepmom, Stella. There was a housekeeper, too. Jen and Stella would ask her all sorts of questions. Stef would push her to talk to a therapist. They would all mean well.

She wanted to be in her cabin. She wanted some quiet.

She had an idea. “If I hire a bodyguard, will you let me stay here?”

He stood in front of her, suspicion plain on his face. “It can’t be Irene. I know she says she can build a circle of protection around people, but all that salt and chanting will not stop a bullet.”

Did he think she was foolish? “The circle of protection is spiritual, and no, it doesn’t work since she put one on me a long time ago and we’re in this situation. I was thinking of someone else.”

“Who?”

“I should talk to him first.” She didn’t want Henry to put pressure on the poor man. He’d been through enough, and if he didn’t want to do it, she could ask Irene. Irene, while she was a spiritual jack-of-all-trades, also worked at the Dairy Queen in Del Norte and knew a surprising number of interesting people. Or she could use someone Henry might be more comfortable with. “If it doesn’t work out, we can call Seth. He certainly has contacts.”

“You’ll accept a bodyguard?”

She wasn’t going to be the character who was too stupid to live. “Yes. But I need to be home. I need the comfort and peace I find here.”

“All right, but I get to interview this person.”

She wasn’t sure that interview would go well. “I’ll go and talk to him.”

Henry frowned. “You’re going up the mountain, aren’t you? I don’t know about that. He’s…different.”

“There is nothing wrong with being different. He had his heart broken. I think he’ll be perfect.”

“He has to take a shower,” Henry complained.

This new Henry was on the judgmental side. “His cabin doesn’t have running water.”

“Once I spent three months in a desert waiting for a bombmaker to make a dead drop. I never smelled as bad as Michael Novack.”

Yes, very judgmental. And she didn’t want to know about the bombmaker and the desert. Not at all. “Nevertheless, I’m going to hire him. He used to be a US marshal. Protecting people was his job.”

“And now his job is growing facial hair and drinking whiskey.” Henry groaned. “Fine. But I’m going to drive. There’s barely a road to where he lives.”

She got her purse. She hoped Michael Novack liked tofu.

 

* * * *

 

Henry parked the Jeep outside the…would he call it a cabin? At one point it probably had been, but now it was more of a shack, and there was another tiny shack outside. The man had an outhouse.

Michael Novack had shown up roughly a year ago when he’d been on assignment to protect Alexei Markov. He’d come to town with his partner, a woman named Jessica, who hadn’t bothered to mention to her lover that she was on some bad guy’s payroll. She’d died trying to kill Alexei, Holly, and Caleb, but only after drugging her partner so he couldn’t stop her.

Novack had not taken the news well.

“I think it’s charming.” Nell always saw the sunny side of things, including the rundown shack in front of them.

Henry thought it was a menace, but she likely didn’t want to hear that from him. “I think you should let me go talk to him first.”

“Why?” She looked so pretty sitting next to him in her cotton skirt and shirt. Her belly had the slightest swell that he wanted to touch and cup and protect. It wasn’t that pregnancy had made his wife more beautiful. She was always beautiful. It was that pregnancy had reminded him of how delicate and precious life could be, how much he treasured every moment with her.

“Because a wounded animal can be a dangerous one.” He didn’t want her to even get out of the Jeep. The ground wasn’t close to level. It was late summer, so there could be any number of animals out and about. Then there was the man himself.

The door opened and Michael Novack proved Henry’s point by walking out on the rickety porch wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his big muscular chest on display, and one hand holding a rifle at his side.

Nell merely opened the door and waved the man’s way. “Good afternoon, Michael. I hope you’re having a lovely day.”

Henry scrambled to get out of his side. He should have brought his own gun, but he hadn’t wanted to upset Nell. It was the first time in days that she’d been willing to go somewhere with him, and he wasn’t taking any chances.

Except this was all one big chance. He was trying to hire a bodyguard so he could go on one last mission.

Would Nell be upset if he died, or would it all be a relief?

“I’m having the same day I’ve had for a year,” Novack admitted.

The man needed a shave. His beard was growing a beard. “We’d like to talk to you, but if this is a bad time we can come back later.”

If he could put this off, maybe he should. It occurred to him that this man could be dangerous on a lot of levels. After all, his partner had kept secrets from him, too. The idea of the remarkably fit man watching over a woman as wounded as he was sounded like the plot for one of Nell’s books. In this case, Henry was the bad guy, the obstacle the heroine would have to overcome in order to find proper true love.

Novack frowned. It wasn’t like he’d been smiling before, but the expression took on a deeper tone. “You here to throw me out? I heard this is now some kind of nature preserve.”

A few months before, a friend of theirs had needed them to help the town out by becoming the owners of a large tract of land a group of developers wanted to purchase from his company. Cole Roberts had come up with a plan that cost him, but saved the land from transforming from gorgeous forest to an outlet mall and all the stuff that came with it.

Roberts had trusted Nell to protect the land. It was a good thing, too, since Nell would have been the chief protestor of the development.

“Of course not. We would never do that,” Nell assured him. She started walking toward the dilapidated cabin.

Henry moved in front of her. “Hey, let me go first. He’s got this place trapped.”

“Trapped?” Nell asked.

Novack sighed. “Who told you?”

“I don’t need anyone to tell me. I can look around the ground and spot at least four places where you’ve laid out traps,” Henry said. “It looks like they’re alarms, but if you’ve got something set up that could hurt someone, then we really do need to talk. People hike out here.”

“Traps?” Nell was looking around the yard. “Like for people? Or is he hunting? Because I can help him set up a garden if he needs food. Also, there are tons of edible plants out here. There’s no need to kill animals.”

“They’re strictly alarms, Flanders,” Novack replied. “I don’t like being caught off guard, but I’m not trying to punish hikers or anything. I’m surprised you can see them. I wouldn’t have expected a professor to know what a trap looks like.”

He knew what it meant to sneak up on a paranoid target, and he knew how to set a hundred traps to protect himself. It was good to know there was one person in town who hadn’t heard the stories about him.

“Oh, Henry wasn’t a professor,” Nell replied. “That was his cover. He was an assassin with the CIA.”

Novack laughed. “That’s a good one. What do you really need?”

“I was not an assassin.” Sometimes her anger came out in little ways. He had to deal with her patiently, but he couldn’t let her forget the truth. “I was an operative, and I managed other operatives.”

“Did you assassinate people?” Nell asked in a prim tone.

He’d promised he wouldn’t lie to her anymore. “Only people who deserved it. Bad people.”

She snorted. “So you say.”

“And it wasn’t the biggest part of my job,” he continued. “I mostly tried to stop terrorists from blowing things up around the world.” He turned back to Novack. “I need to be out of town for a couple of weeks so I can settle some old debts. But I need someone to watch over Nell.”

Novack’s brow rose. “Someone wants to hurt Nell?”

Nell shrugged. “Probably. The activist’s life is not for the faint hearted, but most of the people I anger are satisfied to call me bad names on the Internet. Henry, however, has many enemies, and they prefer to show their rage in person. He’s killed all the ones who’ve come to town so far, but I prefer nonviolent methods.”

They’d gone over this. “I told you, love, they are not going to listen to lectures.”

She frowned his way. “You don’t know. I haven’t tried. I can be very persuasive.”

“What kind of joke is this?” Novack asked. “Because it’s funny, but I’ve got things to do today.”

“Really?” Henry couldn’t think of what the man needed to do. “Do you need to brood some more? Contemplate the dark turn your life has taken, perhaps?”

“I did have a book I was reading,” Novack replied.

Nell sighed and sent Henry a look that told him snark was not appreciated before turning to the big man. “Michael, we’re not pulling a prank. And I do know that there are people in the world who would like to hurt me to get to Henry. I was hoping you could stay with me while Henry’s gone.”

“Why would anyone want to hurt Henry? Look, I could believe that the professor here might have worked some desk job,” Novack began.

Nell turned to Henry. “He’s not going to believe you. You have to show him.”

He was going to get killed. He could see it easily. At least then Nell might forgive him. She would probably feel sorry for him. She would bury him in the backyard and grow organic tomatoes over his dead body.

“Show me what? You going to send the professor to assassinate me?” The thought obviously amused the former marshal. “I’d love to see that happen. It might make the last year worth it.”

If there was one good thing to come of all this mess, it would be proving everyone who thought he was weak wrong. They saw the sandals and the tofu and saw vulnerability. They should know he’d always been able to protect the woman he loved. He was on Novack before the marshal could move. The other man barely had a chance to gasp before Henry had taken his rifle and had him on his belly, his own gun pointed at his head.

“Hey,” Novack complained.

Nell simply stepped onto the porch. “See. He’s good at that. How about I make us some tea and we can talk? I do need a bodyguard. We can work out payment, and perhaps you can fix up your cabin. And the good news is I’ll cook all the meals so you don’t have to worry about eating well.”

Novack’s hands came up. “All right. I believe you. Now tell me what’s going on and I’ll tell you if I can help. As you can see I’m out of practice.”

Henry backed off and Novack pushed himself off the porch. “I need you in practice if you’re going to guard my wife. I’m not joking. If someone shows up, it’ll be a serious situation. Nate’s been informed and he’ll check in while I’m gone. I can’t promise how long it’ll take.”

He handed back the rifle.

Novack stared at him as though reassessing his whole opinion. “Okay. Nell’s a nice lady, and it’s not like I’m doing anything else. I don’t like the thought of someone trying to hurt her. I’ll do it. Is she serious about the cooking thing, though?”

He could prove something else, too. Everyone thought he suffered. “She’s an excellent cook. Maybe you need to broaden your horizons, Novack. It’ll be good for you.”

Henry just hoped it wouldn’t be the end for him.

 

* * * *

 

Nell stared at the closed bedroom door and wondered if Henry was sitting up on the sofa or if he’d managed to get some sleep. He would leave in the morning. She and Michael would drive him to the airport where he would board a plane for Los Angeles. He had everything he needed to be Josh Hunt’s new DEA contact. In the end her plan had worked perfectly, and now she knew a whole lot about forging documents.

Not that she would do anything with it. She hadn’t written in weeks, couldn’t even consider working on the story she’d been developing about a young woman who falls in love with a man who isn’t what he seemed.

That hit far too close to home.

He was right outside and she couldn’t quite open the door between them. How would she feel if this was the last time she saw him?

She forgave everyone. Why couldn’t she do the same for him?

There was a slight knock on the door, a timid sound as though the knocker was certain he wasn’t welcome.

“I’m trying to sleep.”

He hesitated for a moment. “I’d like to come in and talk to you.”

It was stupid, and she knew she was being stubborn, but she couldn’t help herself. “I’ve locked the door.”

The knob turned easily and then he was standing in the doorway in his pajama bottoms and T-shirt that showed off his lean strength. “And I have an enormous amount of experience picking locks. This one is nothing, love.”

She stared at him, wishing she didn’t find him so sexy. “I thought the lock was really my will.”

“I’d like to pick that apart, too. I don’t want to sleep on the couch. I want to be with you.”

She wanted nothing more than to wrap herself up in him and pretend nothing had happened. “Then you should have told me the truth the first time.”

“Do you honestly want me to go without letting me touch you one more time, without letting me top you? You’re anxious, Nell, and I won’t be here to calm you down. Michael will protect you, but he can’t put his mouth on you until you cry away every bit of stress you have. He can’t let you ride his dick until your eyes roll to the back of your head and it no longer matters what’s going on in the outside world. Let me do that for you one more time.”

Because he wasn’t sure he would come back.

Every word was like a stroke to her skin, and her body didn’t care a bit about his lies. Her body was already warm, and that deliciously antsy feeling had come over her. She loved it. It was the kind of thing that would be frustrating if she didn’t have such complete faith that all her needs would be met.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted.

“Then I won’t.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. “Nell, if you ask me to scrap this whole mission, I’ll do it.”

She stared at him for a moment, taking in the beauty of his body. “You have to save that woman.”

She didn’t like to think about how ruthlessly Henry had upended Kayla Summers’s life. It seemed utterly foreign to her that the man who volunteered every time he could, who’d helped her put together a food pantry and shown up every time a neighbor needed him, could have lied and manipulated the way he had.

His expression went stony as he stalked across the room. “Then that’s what I’ll do.”

So often lately she found herself in the presence of the other Henry, as she’d come to think of him, the Henry who always looked hungry when they got ready for bed, the one who never seemed to eat his fill. Perhaps John Bishop had always been with her. He’d always been the Dom side of Henry.

He reached out and shoved aside the blanket she’d been under and let his hands snake around her ankles. He did it slowly and with great purpose. “I’ll do whatever you want me to, but I get tonight. Tonight I get your submission, and tomorrow I’m your soldier to command.”

“I thought you were doing this for you.”

“There’s no me without you. That’s what I can’t make you understand. Yes, I need to do this, but I would walk away from everything if you asked me to. Nothing is more important than you.” He began to pull on her ankles, dragging her down the mattress.

She wanted to believe him. There was a part of her that did believe him, but a dark place had opened up inside her, a place she hadn’t even known existed, and she couldn’t deny it.

“You have nothing to say?” Henry looked over her, his jaw tight.

She shook her head. She didn’t know what to say. She could tell him she loved him, that she would be missing half her heart when he was gone. She could say how sad she was that they hadn’t been in sync for weeks.

She could tell him how hollow her life felt since she’d learned what shaky ground it had been built on.

His hands moved up her legs, squeezing lightly, and she moaned at the sensation. It had been too many days since she’d felt hands on her. Not just any hands. His strong ones. She loved how big his hands were and how she could feel the power in them when he stroked her.

“Feels good?” He moved up to her thighs, shoving her gown up as he traveled. “I can make you feel so much better.” He drew her right leg up and took her foot in his hands. He squeezed and kissed the arch of her foot, making her shiver.

“Yes.” It felt so good. Too good. It was precisely why she had Henry on the couch for now. She couldn’t think when he was touching her. When Henry took control, all that mattered was being close to him. The world fell away and for tonight, she let it.

He would be gone in the morning, and she would have to think far too much.

He nipped at her foot, giving her the bare hint of his teeth. It sent her straight into that lovely place where she didn’t have to think at all. He’d introduced her to this world and he was the tour guide, taking her down intimate paths she’d never imagined. Henry had been the one to prove to her how physical a being she was.

“I talked to Stef,” Henry murmured as he started to kiss his way up her leg.

“So did I. He was at the Trading Post today.” She’d gone into town to gather some supplies for the week. Michael would be here in the morning, and they would have to find a routine that worked for both of them.

This nip was sharper than the rest and made her gasp. “Sarcasm is not welcome tonight. I talked to Stef about how he and Jen played when she was pregnant.”

She’d liked that bite. “Oh, I just talked to him about the state of plant-based proteins.”

Another bite sent a thrill through her, and she felt the delicious drug known as arousal start to pound through her system.

“You’re a little brat. You want to push me? Because like I said, I had a talk with Stef, and Caleb says everything is going well. He told me if I was careful I should be able to do whatever I want to you. I want to do a lot of things to you, but tonight I feel like you need some discipline. Give me the gown. You know damn well you’re not allowed to wear clothes to bed.”

She did, but she’d felt vulnerable without him next to her. She’d hated it, but she’d put on the gown. If she took off that gown, she would be accepting the fact that Henry was going to sleep in their bed tonight. She didn’t even want to argue with him. She wanted one more night of feeling safe before she would have to work through her problems. She sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. Henry gave her very little space, as though he was worried she might make a run for the door. She could have told him she had no thoughts to running away. She wouldn’t run away from him. They had to find a way to get through this.

She pulled the gown over her head and offered it to her husband. She wore nothing underneath, and her body reacted to the cool air of the room.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Henry breathed. He moved in closer, so close she could feel the brush of his cock against her belly. He stood over her, reminding her of how big he was compared to her. Her big, strong husband.

She would never tell him that watching him put Michael Novack on his belly in the blink of an eye had done something for her, wouldn’t mention that sometimes the idea of John Bishop got her heart racing. All that power hidden away. It had always been there. She simply hadn’t seen it.

But it had been there waiting for the right moment to come out.

His hands went up to cup her head, gently stroking her hair as he stared down at her. One hand curled around her hair and gently tipped her head back. “You don’t have to say a thing to me. You stay stubborn, brat. But I will not allow you to forget me. We might be apart for a while, and you might be thinking to make that a permanent punishment for me.”

She wished he understood. “It’s not punishment.”

His hand tugged harder, forcing her on her toes. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve convinced yourself it’s not. Know that I will grovel. I will beg and plead. I’ll do anything to get back in your good graces, with the singular exception of giving you up. You can make me sleep on the couch, but I’ll find a way into our bed. Always.”

It was habit to think of a million ways to explain to him how the speech he’d made was anti-everything. She should be able to tell him no and he should be able to accept it. But he wasn’t threatening to force her. He was telling her he would find a way to make her want him.

She always wanted him. Yes, it was habit to argue, but instinct made her drop her head back and offer him the long line of her neck.

“That’s right. Don’t fight me tonight. Give me everything.” He leaned over and ran his nose from the crook of her neck up to her ear. “Everything, Nell.”

Again, she didn’t argue, merely sighed because she couldn’t fight him on this. If he did find a way to get her alone, she might never muster the will to turn him away.

“Everything.” It was an easy thing to promise since he already had her everything. Her heart and soul and body and trust.

If only she’d had the same from him.

“Turn around and place your palms on the bed. You should be happy you didn’t add underwear into your new nightly routine. I can understand the gown, but you’re definitely not allowed to wear panties. I want easy access to all your beauty, my love.”

She shoved away the deep well of sorrow that threatened to steal the moment from her. She could cry and worry later. For now, she needed this. He’d never been anything but honest with her in bed. She could see that now. Sex was where that dark part of Henry got unleashed.

Nell turned and put her hands flat on the bed. She spread her legs because she knew the drill. He would spank her and touch her and make her crazy. He would have her begging, and she would be happy to do it.

She felt his hand cup her ass and squeeze lightly.

“When I get back, we’re going to talk. We can’t go on like this.”

He wasn’t wrong. She found herself in an odd place she couldn’t seem to force herself out of. She couldn’t simply break things off with him. That wasn’t what she wanted at all, but she also couldn’t go back to the way things had been. So she stayed silent.

The first slap of his hand made her gasp. It had been months since they’d truly played, months of worry and anxiety where they hadn’t connected in the way that always felt best.

He spanked her again, a bit harder this time. She’d come to crave this kind of play. Henry had made her crave it, made her crave him.

Her hands curled around the comforter as he spanked her, peppering the flesh of her ass and lighting up her skin. He was careful, but then he always was. Henry was always in control when they played.

He smacked her ass and she breathed through the pain, allowing it to morph into heat and pleasure. This was what she needed to feel complete, to bring the two sides of herself together.

She would be so lonely when he was gone.

Another smack and she could feel the tears pulse.

Henry’s hand cupped her, holding the heat against her skin. “Spread your legs wider.”

She whimpered because she knew what he was going to do and she wanted it. She moved her feet further apart, holding onto the end of the bed and offering her husband access to her tender flesh.

She bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out when she felt the first touch of his hand between her legs. She could feel him standing behind her, two big fingers delving into her pussy and drawing out the arousal he found there.

“You didn’t seem to get the point of my discipline, sweetheart. It’s supposed to be punishment.”

God, she loved it when he played like this, when his voice went deep and he acted out his fantasies with her.

“It hurts, Sir,” she replied, sinking into her role.

“Where does it hurt?”

That finger of his was so close to her clit and the ring she had in her hood. All he would have to do was toy with that ring and she would go off like a rocket.

But he was a cruel Dom and he knew her body well. The finger dipped inside her briefly before stroking her labia, not even coming close to her clit.

“A little higher, Sir.”

This was the game. He liked to hear her cry and beg, and something about his denial made the eventual orgasm so much stronger.

He stepped back. “I think you’re trying to take something that should only be mine to give, brat.” This smack was hard and made her clench her teeth. “I think you need something more than a spanking. Don’t move or I’ll start again.”

Damn him. He was going to drag it out, make her wait. He was going to remind her that he was in charge and she got nothing until he was ready to give it to her.

She heard him moving behind her. The bathroom door opened and she wondered what he was going to do to her. Anticipation was all part of the game, but so was this terrible mind fuck he loved so much. He wouldn’t tell her what he was going to do. He would simply do it and she would go through the experience. She would let go of the control she felt she needed ninety-nine percent of the time.

She took a deep breath and listened to the water come on in the bathroom, felt the air on her skin, the ache in her ass.

“Have I ever told you what seeing you this way makes me feel?” Henry asked, his voice dark and deep.

She wished she could tell him not to talk, that she didn’t want to listen to him say what he loved about her. It would be disrespectful to their roles in the moment. She could use her safe word and stop the scene, but she couldn’t take control of it and get her way. In that he had her in a corner. She wasn’t willing to stop the scene. She wanted the physical, and that meant she had to take the words he would say since they hadn’t exactly laid this out.

She loved his words. One of the reasons he worked for her as a Dom was the fact that he loved to talk while they played, loved to tell her she was beautiful and how much she moved him. Those words connected them every bit as much as the sex did.

“It makes me feel like I’m worthy,” he admitted, moving in behind her again. “You are such an independent woman, and the fact that you trust me enough to give this part of our lives into my hands makes me feel more powerful than any mission.”

She wasn’t going to listen. The words could be said, but that didn’t mean she had to let them sink into her soul the way she normally did.

“I can see you thinking, my love. You think if I lied about one thing, why couldn’t I lie about this? If the premise of the love story is a lie, doesn’t the whole thing fall apart?”

She felt a hand on her backside, pulling her cheeks apart, and she whimpered. He was going there? Of course he was. He’d told her he wanted everything, and he was going to take it.

Because he knew she wouldn’t be able to deny him. He’d branded her. She understood that now. The nipple rings and VCH enhanced their play, but they also were things only Henry could see, only Henry would ever get to touch. They were reminders that her body belonged to him because she’d given it to him.

Henry didn’t even have a tattoo.

That didn’t seem fair.

She felt the plug against her and gritted her teeth. She loved this part, and it only proved how perverted she was. Or maybe it proved how deeply intimacy affected her. Maybe the sex reflected the relationship. What she loved about anal was that frission that went up her spine telling her this wasn’t what should happen, that this was slightly wrong. Except it wasn’t. It was beautiful and required adjustment and work to make it glorious. It was something that got better over time.

“What you don’t understand is that sometimes the lie is only there to protect the most precious truth.” He’d lubed up that plug. She could feel it. This was something they’d done enough that she was trained to take a plug, had muscle memory of the pleasure this would bring her. He pressed the plug to her and gently rotated it.

She let a deep breath out and flattened her back, allowing Henry full access to her.

“The truth is I love our life so much, I would have done anything to protect it,” he said. “Hate me for being a ruthless bastard. Hate me for doing whatever it took to keep you. But never think that my love is a lie. It was the only thing real in my life back then. It’s the only thing that matters now.”

She pushed back against the plug, needing the sensation. He could say whatever he liked in this place but she still needed time, and she would get it. For however long he was gone, she would take it and think.

“Henry, please.” It wasn’t a plea for him to move faster or to stop the physical act. It was begging him to not force her to do something she didn’t want to do.

He ruthlessly moved that plug in and out, fucking her ass with it. “You please me on every level. And I’ll stop. It’s hard. There’s nothing I like to talk about more than you. Ask anyone. I annoy them. But for now, I’ll give you the only thing you’ll let me give you.”

The plug slid in, opening her and making her deliciously vulnerable. She let the sensation wash over her. She’d missed this so much. For weeks she’d needed to feel like a woman and not merely an expectant mother. “Please fuck me, Henry.”

“You want me to fuck your little asshole? Is that what you want? I’m going to need you to be specific because it’s been a while since I’ve felt that tight hole around my dick.”

Those were better words. Sex words. She could handle those words. “I want you to fuck my ass, Henry. I want to feel you there. You seem to think I didn’t miss it, but I did. I missed that big cock of yours. I missed it in my pussy and in my ass and in my mouth.”

She’d missed his hands on her, moving slowly, caressing up and down her back in the early hours of the morning and late at night. She’d missed the comfort of his body next to hers.

And she’d definitely missed being his sub, letting go in the way she only could when he was close to her.

He pulled the plug and she heard him moving behind her. He would have brought out everything he needed because Henry was like a Boy Scout when it came to sex. Always prepared.

Or a ruthless operative. Had he tortured with the efficiency of a Dom, never having to stop to do anything so bland as washing up? He would have prepared for that. He wouldn’t have to go back into the bathroom to ensure he could touch her anywhere he needed to. He would have everything he needed to ensure her safety and pleasure.

Then she felt the hard ridge of his erection against the seam of her ass as his hands gripped her hips and moved her into position.

“You’ll take this from me.”

She’d never taken it from anyone but him. He’d been her only lover. When she’d met him, she’d discovered how different he was from the other men she’d known. She’d realized how dangerous he would be, and she’d still taken the chance because no one had ever moved her the way Henry could.

“Yes. I’ll take this.” Maybe this was where they should start connecting. Sex had always been good. She might not be able to open her heart again, but he owned her body.

His dick started to breach her, discomfort quickly giving way to a familiar heat. She let her head drop forward, panting as he worked his way into her ass. So big. He felt huge in her ass, and even as she was stretched tight, she found herself pressing back, trying to take more of him. 

One hand came around and she gasped as he touched her VCH, the pad of his finger running over it and making it press against her clitoris.

It was only a matter of time then. Between the cock fucking her ass and the way he was pressing down on her clit, she couldn’t last long. She wanted it to take forever, to be stuck in this place where the pleasure built and built, but he was too good, knew her body far too well.

Her eyes rolled back as the wave of her orgasm hit her, stronger than she’d felt it before. It seemed to go on and on until Henry stiffened behind her and she felt heat flood her as he came.

He kissed the back of her neck before pulling away from her. She was about to tell him thank you and goodnight as politely as she could. That was the moment he maneuvered her into his arms, hauling her against his chest.

“Henry, what are you doing?”

He moved toward the bathroom. “I’ve got one night. I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to clean you up and then I’m going to eat your pussy until you can’t order me out of our bed.”

“You can stay.” If she was honest with herself, she didn’t want him to go back to the couch. “I’m fixing up the guest room while you’re gone. Then you won’t have to sleep on the couch.”

“Then I’ll eat your pussy every fucking night,” he vowed. “I told you I’m not giving up. God, I’m going to miss you.”

She would miss him, too, but the words stuck in her throat.

She would miss him.

She hoped she wouldn’t miss him forever.