The death of a young girl is like bait, attracting all sorts of fish. They surround it, take measure of it, poke at it, and discuss it, spitting bubbles all the while. They are suspicious, thoughtful, curious, and secretly excited. For those several days, our home was like an exhibition hall. The viewers brought their families, coming in and out. When they had viewed the free exhibition, they dawdled beside me and Yihua, offering a variety of praises and asking quietly about the outside world, particularly inquiring whether we could help their idle children find a way out. Regardless of whether or not we promised to help, they showered us with gifts. We barely escaped having them bring livestock into our courtyard. Some of them came to my mother, begging for her help. Because of her relationship with her neighbours, my mother asked me to see what I could do. I said, ‘If they don’t have the academic qualifications, I can’t help.’

She replied, ‘Isn’t Yihua doing just fine?’

I said, ‘She has some assets.’

Ever vigilant, my mother said, ‘Tell me the truth. What is Yihua doing in Guangzhou?’

I told her, ‘She’s a decent girl. She’s not doing anything bad.’

My mother’s sorrow seemed to multiply before my eyes. She knew what sort of jobs required girls with ‘assets.’ Those from neighbouring villages who did not have academic qualifications but had assets were working at bars in Shenzhen, showing cleavages, lips painted blood red, and eyes painted jet black.

Yihua was humiliated that I had concealed her real occupation. She felt it was upright work, and there was no need to lie about it.

‘I’m not a line leader. I work in a nightclub. I sell drinks and accompany customers while they drink. You can sleep with the customers if you want, but if you don’t want to, no one forces you to do it. That’s the situation. Wherever a person is, she can go wrong. When it comes down to it, it all depends on the person,’ she said loudly.

The person who had come to ask for help was slightly embarrassed, and the faces of our family members went paler than ever. That night, my mother and sister had a talk with Yihua. Chuntian said, ‘Why did you have to publicize your work in a nightclub?’

My mother said, ‘First of all, you shouldn’t have gone to a place like that. Who knows what sort of disease you might contract?’

The two older women’s advice was humiliating, like a whip striking Yihua’s face. She tolerated and tolerated, on account of their bereavement and suffering. In the end, she could not stand it anymore. She finally let loose.

‘I do honest work. What have I done wrong? You two never bothered about me before. Just continue doing that, and leave me to live my own life. So what if I work in a nightclub? It’s much cleaner than the work I could do elsewhere! Do you think bureaucrats are clean? Or people who work nine to five? Does carrying a briefcase make someone clean? Do you think “decency” means “clean”? You’re wrong. You don’t understand me. It’s for the best that you never do.

‘You all live in this small place, never going out. You only see the superficial good or bad of things. You jump to conclusions. You don’t even know what’s going on in the world. I’m a bull in the open field. Why do you want to bother about me now?

‘Why didn’t you take Yicao in hand before it was too late? She was smoking, drinking, and fooling around with boys. Didn’t you know I had put all my hope in her? You go and look. See how many letters I wrote her and how many books I sent back. None of you cared at all about what I had become, as long as I didn’t make you lose face!’

My sister and mother were speechless.

Yihua felt like crying, but she also felt crying was no use. None of her tragedies could compare with Yicao’s death.