Chapter 25

It’s not even close to sunset when I get to my front door. But Mama and Dad are on the front stoop, their foreheads all wrinkled up.

“Was just about to come looking for you,” Dad says gruffly.

Darn. I forgot to send that text.

“I don’t know where to start,” Mama says. “The fact that you missed the 4-H show and left your cousin in the lurch—that’s one thing. But the rest?” She shakes her head, her lips pressed tight together. I wonder what she’s heard.

“Your aunt Mary called and said she dropped you off at Maple Lake,” Dad says. “Guess she wanted to make sure we really did tell you it was okay to go.”

My cheeks burn. They don’t need to remind me it wasn’t.

Mama’s eyes flash. “She told us a few other things,” she says, her voice sharp. “About how those researchers are planning to tell farmers that they need to fix things for Maple Lake.”

There it is. The burning in my cheeks slips down and I feel something hot and wild begin to churn inside.

“Aunt Mary understands,” I say. “And the researchers aren’t trying to bother anyone. They’re just trying to help the lake.”

“Your aunt Mary probably just didn’t want to worry you.” Dad rubs his hands together, trying to bring some softness back. But he doesn’t look at me. I can tell he’s nervous. “Neither do I. But that farm—it’s not just a place. It’s where I grew up. That land has been in our family for generations. And it’s how Uncle Mark and Aunt Mary put food on the table.”

“I already know that, Dad!” A lump rises in my throat, but I force it back down. “I was the one who told the researchers that. I told them they need to talk to farmers too, and think about their side of things.”

“Their side of things?” Mama says. “Isn’t that the side that really matters? How long has Dr. Li been here anyway? How can any of them know what’s best for our lake?”

“Now you sound like Darren too!” I say.

“Darren?” Mama asks, puzzled.

“He didn’t think people from somewhere else could help Maple Lake. Well, maybe you don’t know what’s best for the lake.” I feel my voice rising. “You can’t just ignore what’s there. Telling yourself the lake isn’t polluted won’t change the fact that it is.”

I’m just shy of yelling, but I manage to keep my voice steady. “Aren’t you supposed to already know that anyway?” I point my eyes right at Mama and I feel a sneer twist through my lips. “Didn’t you want to be a scientist too? Before you gave up?”

“Don’t speak to your mother that way.” Dad’s voice has taken on the super-deep, quiet tone it gets during those rare times when he’s actually, truly mad.

But I keep going. “It’s true. You guys just want to give up! You think you can hide from Maple Lake? Pretend it doesn’t exist? Never go out on it again, even if you drive past it every day?”

Mama’s voice comes in cold. “Maybe I won’t. I don’t see a need to go out on that lake ever again. And neither should you.”

“You don’t trust me.” I can feel my voice billowing up now, like stormy waves. “You don’t trust me to know what I’m doing, even when I’ve proven myself.” I clench my hands at my sides. My heart thumps in my chest. “I had to lie to Mr. Dale just so he’d let Tai and me take the boat out ourselves and look for Amos’s clues, because even though I know how to drive a boat, I knew you wouldn’t trust me to keep doing it.”

“What?” Dad stares at me, openmouthed.

“You’ve been going out on that lake without any adult supervision?” Mama’s voice shakes. “The Maple Derby was one thing, when I knew your father and Mr. Cooper and all those other fishermen would be watching. But this?”

“See, you don’t know what I’ve been doing! You don’t even know me. Whenever you look at me, you just see—him. Or you wish you could.” My throat thickens. I grab my iPhone out of my back pocket and toss it in the grass. “I don’t need this phone! I don’t need to tell you where I am every second.” When it lands, I see Dad flinch. I start to shake, but it’s too late to stop.

“You’re all we have left.” Mama’s voice trembles. “Think about your brother, and what he would do. Don’t you know how much he loved working with your aunt and uncle? How much he loved that farm?”

“See, that just shows how little you know either of us. I love the farm too! And Amos would have wanted to save the lake!” I’m screaming now. “If he’d known what was wrong, he would have wanted to make it better. He would have done anything for it!”

Mama’s eyes dampen, unbelieving. In them, memories shine. I see us there, splashing each other in the lake. I feel her brushing my hair, rubbing my back after she gets home from work, when she thinks I’m still asleep.

Then I see her looking closely at me, her forehead wrinkled, her eyes full of questions. Doubts.

“I’m going to do what I can too,” I say. “Dr. Li and Mr. Dale want us to write an article for the paper, about what people—including farmers—can do to stop the pollution.”

Dad’s eyes widen, and Mama’s mouth falls open. “What?” Dad asks, his voice just a little on the loud side.

“You’re going to put your name on something saying that farmers need to change?” Mama asks. “That your own family needs to change?”

“My own family has already changed,” I say. I feel the chill in my voice. I push past Mama and Dad into the house, where I grab Amos’s notebook, then stuff my swimsuit and an empty water bottle into a plastic bag. Back outside, I hop on my bike and start pedaling as fast as I can, my hair blowing back like wings.

I don’t look back. And if Mama and Dad say anything else, I don’t hear them. There wasn’t much of a breeze to start with, but the faster I go, the more I make my own.