“Don’t forget this.” John’s voice rumbled in Alexandra’s ear as he dropped a battered book on the kitchen counter. “What are you gonna do? Just sneak off without saying goodbye?”
“No.” Although she wanted to. It would sure be easier. “Your mom doesn’t seem to want me to leave. And Hailey. She thinks I’m going to stay and take care of her. I’m not naming names, but I suspect someone is hoping that will change my mind.”
“Hey, don’t look at me. Hailey eavesdrops. It’s terrible.”
“But you’re not, of course.”
“Of course not. I would never try to use my daughter’s affections to influence your decision.” But his look said everything. “I pay well.”
As if that were the only objection. Alexandra gazed around the kitchen, large and friendly and gorgeous. It sure would be a pleasure to cook in this kitchen. To spend her days looking after Hailey. “I do like your daughter.”
“Ha! A victory. Does this mean you’ll do it?”
“No. It means I’d love to, but I can’t.” Forget that one of the biggest reasons she couldn’t accept was standing in front of her in living color, flesh and blood, too good to be true. “I wish it could be different.”
“You’d like to stay?”
“Like to stay? I’d love to. Your family has been great to me. I can’t remember the last time I felt so welcome anywhere.”
“Then it’s a sign from above.” John smiled at her in that easy way he had, not flirtatious or coy, as he yanked open the refrigerator door. “Just say yes.”
“I can’t.” She took a deep breath. Did she risk telling him?
“Okay, then what will make it easier for you to say yes? How about free room and board?” An ice-cream carton thunked to the countertop next to her. “Think about all that means. Free ice cream.”
He lifted the lid, revealing rich chocolate, gooey fudge and fluffy marshmallow.
“Tempting.”
“Bribery by chocolate. I knew it would work.” He dug a scoop out of a drawer. “How about a sundae to celebrate your new job?”
“Hold the chocolate sauce. I haven’t accepted yet.” Alexandra took a deep breath. Did she trust John with the truth? Or did she run out of here the way she’d left Seattle, determined never to look back?
“Alexandra!” Hailey rushed in, cowboy hat hanging down her back. “I heard! You’re gonna take care of me. I knew it!”
Reed-thin arms flung around Alexandra’s midsection and squeezed so tight. Innocent and vibrant and so incredibly sweet. What a treat to be able to take care of Hailey as a job. She couldn’t think of a nicer way to spend her days.
There were more reasons to leave than to stay. Patrick was one of them.
John was another. What was she going to do about the fact that she was attracted to him? Well, she could keep her distance. If she worked for him, then she was bound to be alone with him eventually.
Hailey grabbed a cookie and skipped out the door, chanting “yippee-skippy” over and over until she was out of sight, and out of hearing range.
John scooped fat rounds of ice cream into a half dozen bowls. “Want to start negotiating your wage?”
“Not yet.” She took a deep breath, unable to put it off any longer. John had to know the truth before he hired her. “I have something to tell you first. Listen, and then you decide.”
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“A week ago I packed my camping gear and two bags of clothes in the dead of night and drove away from my apartment and my job and everybody I knew. I’m not aimlessly looking for work. I’m running for my life.”
Running for her life? Was she in danger? There was no way she was in trouble with the law. It wasn’t that kind of trouble.
He hazarded a guess. “Are you married?”
“No.” She shook her head hard enough so the cinnamon-brown braid of hair slipped like silk over her delicate shoulders. “He was my fiancé.”
“Was he violent? Did he hurt you?”
Alexandra didn’t answer. She didn’t have to.
She bowed her head. The silken wisps escaped from her braid fell forward, hiding her face, caressing the curve of her cheek. Her silence was more telling than a thousand words could.
Fury punched through him, and he shoved away from the counter, pacing hard, hands fisted. Seeing red, it was all he could do to control his anger. What kind of man hurt a woman? What sort of coward would terrorize someone half his size?
It was no Christian way to think, but he couldn’t stop the wild surge of protective fury that tore through him like a rampaging flood. Drowning him so that he was sputtering for air, for control. No man had the right to do that to a woman. Especially one as good and gentle as Alexandra.
For her sake, he reined in his anger. He still shook with it, but raging at a faceless coward who wasn’t even in this room wasn’t going to help the ashen-faced, lost-looking woman who was staring at him with wide, worried eyes.
“You don’t have to run another step. You’ll be safe here.” That was a promise he meant all the way to his soul. He knew it. God knew it. Alexandra would know it.
“He could be following me. He made threats.”
“He won’t find you. And if he does, I’m good friends with the town sheriff.” John would talk to Cameron Brisbane first thing tomorrow. Cam was a good man. He’d be more than happy to help. With two of them keeping an eye out, Alexandra would be sure to be safe.
“But if Patrick found me, I could be putting Hailey in danger without knowing it. Or you.” She held her chin up, a little wobbly, betraying her fear. “Maybe staying isn’t the best idea. I had planned to get as far away as I could. Maybe go back East. I don’t know.”
“Thousands of miles won’t keep you safe, not if he wants to find you.” John uncurled his hands. Forced the rest of his muscles to relax. He’d seen enough as a member of the rescue team that he knew exactly what Alexandra was running from. He remembered a local domestic violence situation two years ago. He’d been called in to help find the missing wife.
And had found her body instead.
“It’s not right to involve you by staying.” Her chin lifted a notch higher. All strength and pride and courage. “This is my problem.”
“Now it’s mine, too. If two friends share a problem, then it’s half the trouble.”
She tried to frown at him, but ended up almost smiling instead. “Your ice cream is melting.”
“Trying to divert me from the truth.” He grabbed the carton and snapped the lid into place. “Too bad. It won’t work. You’re staying.”
“Playing the boss already, are you?”
“Sure, why not? Just as long as you don’t go running off alone. You have friends here.” He shoved the carton blindly into the freezer compartment, hoping there was enough room on the rack. He knew what he had to do. “You don’t need to be alone.”
“You hardly know me. I hardly know you.”
“I’m at the store all day, while you’d be here with Hailey. You’d be answering to my mom, mostly.”
“Really?” She sounded cautious, but he could read her interest. She had an open heart that was easy to read and with hurt that was easy to see.
He hated that she was hurting so much down deep. Hated the horrible man who’d done this to her, made her feel unsafe and unable to trust a Christian man offering her a job—just a job. And nothing more.
The anger returned, but he forced it away. She surprised him by reaching out. The soft warm brush of her fingertips against his rough, sun-browned fingers unnerved him. Knocked him off balance and made him forget how to speak. She twisted the jar from his grip, sauntering away with a feminine gait that was simple and innocent and so womanly, he could only stare.
Lord, You’ve given me a woman to protect and defend. I’m up to this challenge. Really. John knew in his heart it wasn’t going to be easy.
He was attracted to her. It was the plain and simple truth. He was a man. One day a woman was bound to come along and stir up feelings. It was only natural. That didn’t mean he needed to acknowledge those feelings. Or act on them. Or give them a fraction of control over his life.
He had self-control. That’s what mattered. The trouble was, he was going to have to stop noticing she was so beautiful and vulnerable and amazing.
No problem there. He wouldn’t look at her.
Averting his gaze, he grabbed the butterscotch chips from the pantry. He could hear the rasp of the silverware drawer, the tinkle of flatware, the metallic twist of a metal lid coming away from the jar.
Having Alexandra in his kitchen was going to take some getting used to. He unwound the twist tie from the bag and laid it on the counter.
She dolloped a meager amount of chocolate topping over the first bowl of ice cream. “Is this enough?”
“We don’t do anything halfway here. We go for the gusto.” He took the jar and upended it. The thick syrup sluiced over the ice cream to form a thick, delicious glacier of chocolate. “Anything less than that, and the crowd gets cranky. My mild-mannered dad will throw his shoe at you.”
“Then I’d better put on a lot of chips, right?” She reached across him for the bag, bringing with her the scent of sweet green apples.
Not that he was about to notice. “If there’s not enough chips, Mom will refuse to bring potato salad next Sunday. She’s tough when it comes to punishment.”
“I’d hate to get you in trouble. Is this enough?”
“Wow, you’re generous with the butterscotch.” He poured syrup over the last bowl. “You fit in here. You oughta stay. You seem to like being here so far, and we like having you. ‘Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.’”
Why did her heart crumple like that? “I’m no angel, John.”
“Close enough.”
She wasn’t going to be tempted. But she knew, as he handed her a bowl with a long-handled spoon in it, that it was already too late.
Staying here had to be a big mistake. Alexandra could feel it. She could admit it—she liked being needed. Even if it was for a job and nothing more.
She’d have to examine her motives later. But for now, as she dug into the depths of her purse for her car keys, she had enough to keep her busy. Hailey was chattering away, telling her exactly when the school bus came in the afternoons and exactly where it dropped her off. Alexandra would be waiting, right?
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t forget you.” Alexandra found her keys and slung the leather purse strap over her shoulder. “What do you want to do first when you get home tomorrow?”
“Ride Bandit. You can come, too.” Hailey clasped her hands in sheer delight. “You did real good for a first-time rider. Well, not really, but you tried real hard.”
“Are you kidding? It was a disaster. Maybe I’ll do better next time.” Trying to forget the way she kept sliding off the saddle, Alexandra grabbed the grocery sack of leftovers from the counter. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Cool!” Hailey leaped close, wrapped her arms around Alexandra’s middle and squeezed tight. Then she was gone, calling over her shoulder, “You’re awesome!”
I’m really going to have a hard time trying not to fall in love with that little girl. What a pleasure it would be to take care of Hailey day after day.
As for John… Alexandra vowed not to think of that as she trailed through the beautiful house and out the front door where the evening was giving way to the gathering shadows. Twilight clung to the far horizon, drawing the warmth from the air but not from her.
The Corey family was wrapped up in their goodbyes. So genuinely loving and happy. They didn’t know what it meant to be alone. Not truly alone. Not so isolated and afraid that it felt as if the world were passing you by.
She unlocked her car door and set the sack of leftovers on the front seat. John and his brother were laughing over some private joke, a friendly sound that lifted on the sweet evening breeze and came straight to her.
John was going to be a problem. She kept noticing him. Out of the corner of her eye as she tucked her purse on the floor and straightened. He stood with his back to her, in the fingers of the long shadows from the mighty oaks lining the driveway, standing just outside the light.
He made her so…aware. Aware of the scent of the lilacs on the breeze. The cool blush of twilight air on her bare arms. The creak of the car seat as she settled onto it. The newsprint texture of the travel book’s pages against her fingertips.
It was time to be on her way. Quick, while she could still be rational and could control her feelings. She was tired and road weary and grateful for a place to rest. For now until she decided to move on, Bev’s guest cottage would be her home. And these people her temporary family.
After a good night’s rest, things would be better. She really didn’t feel attracted to John—not real attraction. So she didn’t need to worry. Right? He was like a white knight, and what maiden wouldn’t gaze upon him with admiration? That’s all this was.
He was her employer, and she was not ready to trust another man with her life.
She started the engine and sat waiting until the family’s goodbyes were done. Show me this is the choice You mean for me, she prayed, as she followed Bev’s car into the gathering darkness. With the night surrounding her, and no stars in sight, she couldn’t help feeling alone. Afraid. Unsettled.
Maybe accepting this job was the wrong thing to do. Patrick could be following her.
Had she made another life-altering mistake? There came no answer and no peace as she followed the unlit, bumpy road that led through the Corey property. No stars winked wisely, and the heavens were hidden, the sky shrouded in clouds. She felt as if no one was watching over her, although she knew it wasn’t true.
Although later she turned to her Bible and read before falling asleep that night, tucked in the cozy bedroom in the little cottage, the feeling remained.
John counted himself lucky to have a view of the Bridger Mountains from his kitchen windows. He could watch the purple-gray curtain of night lift, giving way to the soft golden light of a new dawn. That could inspire a man, that’s for sure. As long as he knew toward what he was aspiring.
Lifting the teakettle from the stove, he contemplated the reverent changes in the sky. Purple slipping away to the deepest blue-gray, and faint pinks highlighting the underbellies of long, paintbrush strokes of the silhouetted clouds. He poured the steaming water into the awaiting cup, and the scent of apple lifted on the steam—sweet apple. The scent reminded him of Alexandra.
She was going to be here soon. In this house. In this kitchen. He panicked. Yesterday he’d been short of obsessed with her, his gaze drawn to her like a nail to a magnet. Helpless to break away.
He carried the cup to the table, where a hardback novel lay open, a weighted bookmark holding the page. The chair creaked as he settled into it, seeing the faint shadow of his reflection on the uncurtained bay window. Sitting alone. Hair sticking straight up, wrinkled shirt hanging crooked. Behind him was a stack of dishes he’d retrieved from the second oven.
The panic was still there. Alexandra. He ought to be relieved he’d finally found a housekeeper he could depend on, but he wasn’t relieved. He was terrified. He was incredibly attracted to her. To this woman the Lord had brought to his doorstep. John would not fail her. He’d be as true as the dawn, sure as the sky, as steady as the mountains.
Reaching for the sugar bowl, he caught sight of the pictures nailed to the wall, the faint glow of the small lamp reflected in the brass frames. Pictures of Hailey, mostly. He’d started a collection, the same way his mother had. One picture had Bobbie in it proudly displaying her newborn daughter from her hospital bed. She was weary with exhaustion but beaming with joy. Bright balloons sailed in the air behind her, and flowers jammed the nightstand behind her.
Remembering that day brought tears to his eyes. He didn’t want to go back to those feelings. To the time he’d taken for granted. Back then he and Bobbie thought they had all the time in the world. They’d been wrong about a lot of things. Wrong about the kind of man he was. The kind of husband.
Lord, I would do anything to bring her back. To go back in time and change those last few seconds of her life. To find some way to save her. To try harder. Be more. To have held on to her when I thought I couldn’t.
He’d loved Bobbie more than his own life back then. His love had changed over the years, become a distant fondness mixed with the terrible guilt he carried. He knew what it was like to cherish a woman.
So, how could any man bring harm to someone he loved? Gulping down the hot tea, trying to burn away the lump of emotion caught painfully in his throat, John couldn’t understand. Alexandra was on the run, and she was afraid. Afraid for her life. Afraid of being hurt again. Afraid to trust in anyone. Whoever this Patrick was, he’d wounded her deep inside. Didn’t he know how precious love was? How brief a life could be?
John slammed the empty cup onto the table, launching out of the chair, his hands fisted, helplessness filling him. What he’d give to have the warmth of a wife’s love, the music of her laughter, the comfort of her arms.
But it was not to be. He had no one to blame but himself.
In a few hours, when Alexandra walked through his front door, he’d be ready for her. Polite. Professional. A man dedicated to doing the right thing. When he gazed upon her, he vowed not to see a beautiful woman who made him wish.
He’d see an answer to his prayer for forgiveness. Nothing more, and nothing less.