As John was packing the tents into the back of his truck, he was still scolding himself. What he should have said to Alexandra was, “I wanted to check up with you and make sure you were all right.”
“Dad, are you sure we can’t take Angel?” Hailey skidded to a stop on the concrete and leaned against the side of his truck, so little girl in her bright purple T-shirt and her matching purple sunglasses. “We can still pick her up from Grammy’s. Please? Pleeease?”
“She won’t be safe,” he told her for the fourteenth time in an hour. “Go get your backpack.”
“But—” Hailey sighed dramatically, enough to make any Oscar winner proud, and stomped off to the house.
His patience was wearing thin today, no doubt about that. Alexandra should be here any minute— He looked over his shoulder. There she was, driving into sight. Now would be a great time to grab the tent from inside the garage—from way in the back and look really busy.
He retreated, figuring keeping busy would help him forget how Alexandra kept gazing up at him the other day outside the ice-cream shop. Exactly the same way she was looking at him now.
“Hi.” She could dim the sun with the way she looked, dressed in a lemon-yellow tank top and denim shorts, her slender feet encased in chunky brown hiking boots that had seen better days. On her they looked perfect. She looked perfect.
He tore his gaze away. She may be perfect, but she wasn’t right for him.
Remember that, John. He tugged the tent from its resting place between the rafters. A stake tumbled loose and hit him in the head. “Ow,” he said as it crashed to the cement floor. “I nearly KO’d myself. That takes talent.”
“John!” She dropped the duffel slung over her shoulder and jogged over to him, bringing the sunshine with her. “Oh, you’re bleeding. Let me—”
She reached out, and he did his best to duck. But his ears were ringing a little and his balance was a little off. Pain pounded through the top of his skull, but he had a feeling it didn’t have much to do with the blow to his head. It had everything to do with the woman running her fingertips across his scalp.
“I don’t feel a lump. Yet. Let’s get you sitting down, and I’ll run for some ice.”
Now he was really feeling foolish. If he’d had his mind on what he was doing and not on the beautiful lady in his garage, he wouldn’t be bleeding right now.
Then again, she wouldn’t be at his side. For once, he wanted to let Alexandra fuss over him. To kiss away the pain. To touch him with those fingers that stroked away all the anguish and tension, leaving only peace.
He didn’t deserve peace. What he ought to be thinking about was how he was going to help this woman. That was his sworn duty to himself, to Alexandra and to the Lord. What had happened to his self-discipline that he couldn’t control his own thoughts? Instead of wanting to protect her, he wanted to haul her against his chest and kiss her.
And she wouldn’t stop touching him. Those tender fingers on his brow made him think about how tenderhearted she was. What a fine wife she would make.
See? This wasn’t good, and it had to stop. He caught her slim wrist, meaning to stop her from touching him. But instead, he was touching her. Felt the fine bones of her wrist beneath his fingertips and the warm silk of her skin.
She was wholesome and trusting and good and had no idea what he was thinking. She whipped out a folded handkerchief from her pocket and moved in. Didn’t she know what she was doing to him? The wall around his heart was crumbling dangerously and her gentle ministrations could be enough to bring the whole thing tumbling down. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting for control. He would not think about kissing her.
“There.” She squinted, studying his brow. “The bleeding’s stopped. I think you’ll live.”
Live? She was killin’ him! She speared him deep. The defensive wall around his heart didn’t stop her none. She made him feel. She made him want to love her.
Love her? Alexandra needed his protection. That’s what he had to concentrate on. That’s what was important here.
She smiled, and the cracks in the wall around his heart grew bigger. Just like that. You’d think a man like him, who wasn’t afraid of scaling mountains with nothing more than a rope, would be so quick to crumble. It sure bothered him.
“Here, turn your head to the right. That’s it.” She was totally focused now as she peeled back the wrapping on a bandage she’d rescued from the first-aid box on the garage shelf.
He’d do just about anything, so long as she stayed with him. She pressed a bandage to his brow, just beneath the hairline, and her sweet scent enveloped him.
Her goodness shone when she took his hand. “I don’t think that blow to the head was enough to give you a concussion.”
“I’m a tough guy. I don’t get concussions.”
“I’m not fooled one bit, mister.” Her fingers curled around his and squeezed. “You’re not tough. You’re tender. Wow.”
Alexandra let go, her face flaming. Had she really said that? She couldn’t believe it. She hightailed it out of the garage and headed straight for her car. She dug around for her sleeping bag and pillow and carried both to the back of the truck.
Was it too late to escape? She wasn’t ready for this, and she wasn’t sure she could believe in it. Was she going to get her heart broken, falling in love with a man like John?
“Let me help you with that.” Suddenly he was at her elbow, as dependable as the mountains that rimmed the valley. He lifted the bundle from her arms with ease.
“Wait. You have a spot of blood—” She couldn’t resist reaching out to touch him again.
The fine satin of his hair teased her knuckles, and the heat of his skin against her fingertips was amazing. She swiped at the speck of drying blood with the pad of her thumb. It felt intimate, to take care of him like this, and to be so close to him.
His eyes grew dark and his gaze traveled down her face and settled on her lips. Held.
He’s going to kiss me. Alexandra couldn’t think of anything else. Not the pillow she dropped or that they were visible from the house, where Hailey was. All she could think about was the way he inched ever closer, his gaze a touch that made her bottom lip tingle in anticipation. She wanted to share that sweetness with him.
Closer. His lips parted ever so slightly, and she did the same. She knew that his kiss would be tender and heartfelt. She also knew without asking that he hadn’t kissed anyone since his wife.
And he cares about me. Encouraged, she closed her eyes at the first brush of his lips to hers. Gentle. Just as she’d known his kiss would be. Perfect.
The ricochet of the front door slamming broke them apart. Alexandra took a step back, lost in her own feelings as John turned abruptly and rearranged the camping gear in the truck bed.
The kiss had lasted only a few seconds, but it had been enough for her to know for sure. He did feel the same way about her. This wonderful, good-to-the-core man did care for her.
It was unbelievable.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said.
“Me, too.” Her heart felt full as Hailey burst into sight, dropped her backpack on the ground and wrapped her arms around Alexandra’s waist. What a blessed feeling, to have this child’s affection.
“I’m all packed and stuff. Guess what? Grammy took me shopping last night and I bought stuff for s’mores. I like ’em all mooshy, but not burned. Dad burns the marshmallows.”
“He’s a marshmallow burner? Shocking.”
“I confess it. I’m a real man. If we eat marshmallows, then they’d better be charred and crisped.” John winked as he scooped Hailey’s pack into the back of the truck.
A real man. Yes, he was certainly that. Alexandra’s spirits soared. This real man, good to the core, wanted to kiss her again. She felt certain of it.
And she was going to let him. It scared her, to think of trusting another man so deeply again. But looking at John as he told Hailey that they weren’t going to stop and see Angel on the way out, Alexandra couldn’t be too afraid. Even when he was annoyed, he kept his calm and his sense of humor. She loved him more for that, her very own white knight.
As if he could read her thoughts, he took her hand to help her into the truck. His touch made her heart soar.
Hailey chattered all the way, nearly nonstop, talking about everything while John drove with a bemused expression. They took the highway toward the mountains that were so close, Alexandra had to tip her head back to see their proud, jagged peaks.
“Sorry you came?” John asked in a split-second pause of Hailey’s conversation.
“I’m so suffering.” She didn’t want to be anywhere else. This was paradise, sheer perfection, and she wanted to cherish every moment.
Then again, any moment spent with John was bliss. The kiss hung in the air between them, the knowledge of it and the tenderness. It could only mean one thing—that he wanted her in his life.
Joy filled her up slowly, the way dawn came to the mountains. Love moved that way, quiet and true. She felt changed because of it. Look what her future could be. John and Hailey could be her family. This could be her life.
“I love my new sleeping bag,” Hailey announced. “It’s all soft and has stuff inside—”
“Most people call it fleece,” John clarified.
“And it’s snugly, and my feet don’t get cold if my socks get wet, ’cuz I fell in the river or somethin’ like that one time…” She went on and on, each story more darling than the next until Alexandra ached with happiness.
This is what a family could be. This right here. It was no fantasy, no daydream, but it was as real as an answered prayer all around her. The sound of a happy child who’d never known neglect or abuse. The capable presence of a man who loved and lived in accordance to the Lord’s word, which he held dear.
We could be happy together, she realized. Everything she’d ever wanted was right here. Within her reach.
Too full to speak, Alexandra didn’t say a word. She let the harmony of being with John gladden her. Hailey chattered, John added comments and Alexandra wanted to hold on to each moment forever. She wanted them to add up to a lifetime.
“This is the end of the road. Now the fun begins.” John guided the truck off the paved road. Low branches slapped against the truck’s high fenders.
“You call this fun? Running into trees?”
“No, the fun is in avoiding the trees. Watch.” They were going four-wheeling. One of John’s favorite things.
The old logging road was overgrown, hardly visible between the break in the trees that ribboned up the hillside and out of sight. Just the way he liked it.
He put the truck in four-wheel drive. “Hold on.”
Alexandra grabbed the door rail, laughing as the truck bumped and rocked over the rugged terrain. Not dangerous, but it was exhilarating. Hailey squealed, straining against her seat belt to watch as a young sapling hit the bumper and slid beneath the truck with a scraping sound.
“Look! A cougar!” Hailey pointed. “Oops. It ran away. There was this one time, when Dad and I hiked, and…”
He listened, delighted, as always, by his little girl and her exuberant spirit. But what he really noticed was Alexandra seated on the other side of the truck, her eyes shining with excitement.
Good. He wanted her to be happy. He sure liked her being here, with them. He tried not to think about the kiss they’d shared. It was brief, sweet. Friendly. Right?
Okay, he was trying to fool himself. There was nothing friendly about the kiss he’d given Alexandra. It had been tender. He’d kissed her with his whole heart. With a heart he had no right to offer her. Lord, please help me to remember that.
Resolved, he kept his attention on the faint tracks of the road hidden by thickets of grass and brush. Until the truck followed a curve into a clearing, and Alexandra’s gasp of amazement as the perfect peaks of the Bridger Mountains swept into sight. Strong, jagged, enduring.
He tried not to pick out the peak far to the left—he deliberately kept his gaze to the right, toward Alexandra. Maybe that was no coincidence. The fortress walls he’d built around his heart remained intact, but they were weakening. He had the terrible fear Alexandra could make them crumble.
Did he turn away from her? No. He could see only her. Her sparkle. Her gentle spirit. Her compassionate, loving nature as she climbed out of the truck, according to Hailey’s instructions, and held out a hand to help the little girl to the ground.
“Dad and I hike a whole lot,” Hailey was saying as she slipped her sunglasses off of her nose. “Did you hike with your dad?”
“Nope. My dad wasn’t around much.”
“Christa’s dad is divorced and lives in Missoula. He ain’t around much, either.”
So trusting, Hailey’s fingers crept into Alexandra’s hand. John’s throat constricted watching the two of them. They could be mother and daughter, with the way they were both slim, both graceful, both sparkling like sunlight on a mountain stream.
“I’m so happy.” Hailey tipped her head back, causing her golden blond locks to tumble away from her face. “Very, very happy. Come with me, Alexandra. I know the way.”
“What about your dad? I guess we can forget him. He’s just the chauffeur.”
“We’d better bring him,” Hailey gleefully teased. “He’s good at packing stuff and he can put up the tent.”
“A useful man. All right, then, we’ll allow him to come. But only if he can keep up with us wild girls.”
“Yeah!” Hailey giggled. “Hurry up, Dad.”
“I’m coming. Golly.” He locked the cab and swung around to the back. “You wild girls look like you have a lot of energy. Here. You’d better carry the heavy pack.”
“But I’m the littlest.” Hailey shoved her glasses onto her nose, a precious sprite that smiled up at him with Bobbie’s grin. “He’s just teasing, Alexandra.”
“Me? Tease? I’m dead serious.” He hefted the big pack, with the heavy gear, out of the back of the truck bed and offered it to her. “Here, Alexandra. Since I’m just the chauffeur, not the pack mule.”
“Oh, you have other uses, too.”
It would be so easy to draw her into his arms and hold her sheltered and safe against his chest. Simple to give in to the tenderness he longed to feel for her.
Maybe he could give in. Just a little.
“I’m so glad you invited me.” She eased into her backpack. “I can’t wait to get started. How far are we going to hike in?”
“About two miles. Can you make it?”
“Me? Sure. The question is, can you?”
“Questioning my strength and endurance, are you? I’m not the most decorated member of the county’s search and rescue team for nothing.”
“Sure, go ahead and brag. You’ve never been up against me before.”
“Is that a challenge? I have to warn you. I’m a competitive kind of guy. I play to win.”
“Ooh, me, too. Last one there has to put up the tents.” She quirked one brow, eyeing him up and down as if she wasn’t impressed with what she saw. “Prepare to eat our dust.”
“It’s grassy. There is no dust.” He slid his arms into the padded straps, letting the heavy weight of the pack settle along his back. “Go ahead. I’ll give you a head start. You’re going to need it.”
“Awfully confident, aren’t you?”
“Sure. I’m an awfully confident guy. I always get what I want.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” She held out her hand.
His fingers slipped through hers as if they were made to be there. Hand in hand. Her smaller palm fit inside his perfectly. He felt another rend in the wall protecting his heart. He knew it was wrong, but he held on to her, matching his longer stride to hers as they headed shoulder to shoulder into the forest.
“Hurry, Alexandra! Dad’s gonna beat us!”
“I’m hurrying.” She was out of wind.
Okay, so John was in excellent shape. One look at his amazing physique would tell her that, but she had to win. The climb was uphill, and the rocks kept crumbling beneath her boots. It didn’t help that John grabbed hold of her backpack and playfully held her in place.
“No fair.” She twisted away, but he took advantage, sprinting past her on the narrow ridge. “You get a penalty for that unnecessary roughness, buddy.”
“What kind of penalty?”
“I don’t know. You’re already in trouble with me.”
“Me? In trouble? Impossible. I’m a good guy. Innocent. I don’t cause trouble.”
“I don’t have your mom’s potato salad recipe, do I? Nope. Someone broke his word to me on that.”
“I couldn’t get it. Mom’s ruthless when it comes to her secret recipe.”
“Fine, but you are her son. You have an inside track.”
“You might think so, but my mom said she’d give it to me if I married, and not until.”
“Well, if that’s what it takes.” She caught hold of his backpack and tugged enough to slow him down.
He fell in line beside her. “Hey! You’re stronger than you look.”
“You just remember that when you’re putting up the tents, loser.” She shouldered past, gaining the lead. “You’ll be working to the sweat while Hailey and I soak our feet in the creek. Right, Hailey?”
“Yep. Unless there’s bugs ’n stuff.” Hailey led the way, being the experienced hiker she was. “Ooh, that’s where we always camp.”
“C’mon, Hailey, let’s run.” She grabbed the little girl’s hand, and they laughed together, trying to get ahead as John swept his daughter off her feet.
“Hey, Dad!”
“Maybe we’ll be soaking our toes while Alexandra does the tents.” John swung his daughter to his chest and held her tight, awkward backpack and all, and her merry giggle lifted on the breeze, echoing across the rugged peaks of the mountains all around them. “C’mon, kid. We’re gonna win.”
“Oh, yeah?” Alexandra dug down deep. It was hard to admit she was tired from the several miles’ walk at high altitude, but she wasn’t about to let John beat her. She had her reputation to uphold! She started running. He glanced over his shoulder, saw she was gaining and ran harder.
“Oh, no!” She wasn’t going to lose. She sprinted all-out, chugging past him, her backpack clunking against her lower back as she shot ahead and into a mountain meadow lush and green.
An elk lifted its head, heavy rack of antlers pointing into the sky, and took off in a streak of brown into the trees.
“Already scaring off the neighbors.” Out of breath, John eased Hailey to the ground. “That poor elk is running back to his family to tell them the neighborhood is going downhill, now that the humans have moved in.”
“Or he’s telling the hungry bears where to find us.”
“Not used to being so remote?”
There was no sign of civilization anywhere. The velvety texture of trees on the high slope, the soar of an eagle overhead and the echoing presence of nature that felt vast and powerful. She felt small against such greatness, and enlivened, too. “I’ve never been anywhere like this, and I’m a country girl.”
“Then you like it?”
“Love it.” She breathed deep, taking in the crisp mountain air and gazing at God’s beautiful handiwork. “I could get used to having elk for my neighbors.”
“That’s why we come up here all the time.” John took her hand in his, big, warm, strong.
She felt the connection between them deep in her heart.
“You go dip your toes in the creek and rest up.” John squeezed her fingers gently, tenderly, before he moved away. “Since Hailey and I are big losers, we’ll put up the tents.”
“I didn’t lose,” Hailey protested gaily. “You grabbed me up and I couldn’t help it.”
“Sometimes life isn’t fair.” John ruffled his daughter’s hair, all affection, and all unshakable fatherly protection. “C’mon. Let’s show Alexandra how it’s done. She might be a country girl, but she doesn’t know how it’s done in Montana.”
When John brushed a kiss on Alexandra’s cheek, hope rose within her, growing with every beat of her heart.
“Is she asleep?” Alexandra whispered over the crackle of the fire as John emerged from the dark.
“As soon as her head hit the pillow.” He swung his leg over the log and hunkered down next to her. “She ate so many s’mores, it’s a shock she could actually sleep.”
“Me, too. I’m in the throes of a sugar high.” Alexandra reached into the open plastic bag and fished out another marshmallow. “You might as well join me.”
“How can I resist the temptation?” He held out his hand, palm up, for the fluffy treat. “Having fun yet?”
“You could call it that.” She’d had the best day. Exploring the mountainside with Hailey, searching for the wild roses that bloomed in early summer. Letting John hold her hand as they walked in the meadow, watching an eagle soar overhead and the elk return to see if his grazing spot was still full of humans.
“I’m glad.” John pierced the marshmallow with the end of a willow stick he’d carved earlier, one for each of them. “Not too many women like to hang out in the backcountry.”
“I’m one of those rare women, I guess,” she said lightly, teasing.
“I’ll say.” He wasn’t teasing. “You haven’t complained once.”
“What’s to complain about?”
“No running water, no warm water and no indoor plumbing, for a start.”
“I love those things, believe me. But isn’t this something?” She gazed up at the sky above, the stars so thick and close she felt as if she could gather them up in her hands.
“This is something.” John wasn’t looking at the heavens.
He was gazing at her. In the flickering firelight, he was completely exposed. His guard down. She could see past his tender heart into the goodness of his soul.
She could sense his thoughts even before he leaned closer. Before his gaze focused on her waiting lips. His eyes grew as dark as dreams as he waited, the air buzzing between them, the infinite night and the diamond sky witnesses as he dipped to cover her mouth with his.
His kiss was like moonlight, silvered and rare. Like the gentlest brush of nightfall. It was like coming home and finding forever all in one sweet touch. His kiss was pure tenderness and all heart.
His kiss made her ache all the way to the bottom of her heart with a love so fierce and pure, she couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t make these powerful, wonderful feelings stop. Not even when he broke the kiss, staying close to gaze into her eyes, and their souls touched.