Ryske hadn’t even been there when they got back to Floyd’s. Maze had walked Harlow back upstairs to the apartment, made her promise not to leave again, and then he’d gone back to work.
Her tantrum might have seemed juvenile, but she had fully intended to walk away for good. Their lives would be a lot easier if they didn’t have her to worry about. Distracting Maze from his job was unfair too. Chaos seemed to be encroaching on Harlow from all sides. Everything was telling her she wasn’t cut out for life with Ryske.
His crew needed to maintain a level head. They had to put their own feelings aside when there was an event or a job because they relied on each other. Even when they were mad, they’d still give their lives for each other. Keeping her feelings in check around Ryske wasn’t her specialty.
Making a decision to stay out of the way, Harlow slept on the closet couch and no one disturbed her. Even in the morning, none of the guys came into the closet, not that she was aware of. Either they’d snuck in to dress before she was awake or they had grabbed whatever was in the downstairs laundry.
Proving that they were ready to be rid of her, no one was in the apartment when she crept out of the closet in the morning. There had obviously been an agreement that they give her a wide berth until they could get rid of her.
Harlow didn’t see anyone at all until the Saturday night. Studying at the cleared desk in the closet, she was keeping a low profile.
But this was a public space and she couldn’t expect to be alone forever, as proved when Ryske came in wearing a towel, much as he had the previous night. His modesty hadn’t increased just because they were at odds.
Making eye contact, they paused. “I’ll give you your privacy,” she said, closing her book and tucking it under her arm as she stood up.
Ryske walked in the direction of the dressers. She headed for the door.
“Maze is wrong,” he said, just before she got to the exit.
The statement made her face him. He had his back to her and was taking underwear from the drawer that he proceeded to pull on.
“Wrong about what?”
“About where you should be,” he said, going to a rail in the corner to begin donning a suit. “Your ex didn’t make you happy, but he didn’t make you unsafe. One’s more important than the other.”
“You think I should go back to Rupert,” she stated, folding her arms around her textbook.
Putting on his pants, he didn’t fasten them, and took a shirt from a hanger. Threading one arm into a sleeve and then the other, she was disappointed in herself for noticing that he was covering up the impressive body he’d once let her play with.
“You dumped him, not the other way around,” Ryske said. “You were together for years and have been broken up for months. But he’s not hooking up with anyone else… Noon was right, he’s hung up on you. Your ex will take you back.”
Hugging the book tighter to her chest, she tilted her head. “And that’s what you want because that’s what will get me off your plate.”
“That’s not what I said. With you, I say what I mean. He’ll keep you safe. You’ll be content.”
“But not happy,” she said, watching him continue to dress. “And what about you? What will you do?”
“Go with it,” he said, seeking cufflinks. “It’s what us on this side of town do.”
“Go with it.”
He nodded. “Yep.”
This seemed like just another day at the office. Ryske was so unfazed that if it wasn’t so heart wrenching, she might appreciate the insight into his inner self. All of this was happening, but he took it in his stride. Reading a situation, adjusting, and making a strategy. Planning her future was a single step in a mission that he’d probably never think about again after she was gone.
Even knowing that this was when she was supposed to turn and walk away, Harlow was too intrigued to just let it go.
Instead of departing, she took a step toward him. “Did you ever feel anything for me? Anything at all?”
“Trink, I care about you, but—”
“No,” she said, tossing the book onto the couch. “Don’t use that patronizing appeasement voice with me. Don’t switch it on and think you can soothe me. Just look me in the eye and tell me the goddamn truth. Did you ever feel anything for me?”
The situation made her angry and that pounding emotion was made worse when something like pain appeared in his gaze. “Baby, I have nothing to offer you.”
That stark truth took her anger. “I didn’t want anything,” she said, touched by his sincerity. “Nothing but you.”
Clenching his teeth, he garnered some anger of his own. “I won’t do it to you. I won’t drag you down to my level. You don’t belong with the scum in the gutter. You should be soaring with the birds, Nightingale.”
But she couldn’t claim to be Nightingale, not if she was being cast out of the crew. Reality caught up with her. Maze’s suggestion was no longer a distant prospect, it was coming to pass. The suit, the cufflinks, Ryske was going out, somewhere nice… he was making an effort with the goal of keeping her safe.
“You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” she said, suddenly cold. “You’re going to propose to her.”
As was his way with awkward questions, he avoided giving her a direct answer. “I’m going to make Hagan see that you are inconsequential. You won’t be in danger after tonight.”
Narrowing what was left of the physical space between them to rest her hand on his chest, she made eye contact. “And am I?” she asked. “Inconsequential?”
Laying his hand over hers as he had once before, he pressed her palm into him. “That will never belong to anyone else.”
Even in spite of their argument the previous night, she wanted to believe him. “Crash—”
“We’re through, Harlow,” he said, losing his patience. “You’re going back to your safe, mundane existence in the suburbs. You will never be hurt by my world again.”
Hitching her chin up, she slid her hand out from under his. “And if I say I won’t go?”
“Why wouldn’t you go?” he asked, taking a jacket and tie from the rack. “The city ate you up and spat you out. You weren’t built for the wrong site of the tracks, babydoll.” He winked and flashed her his dashing, professional smile. “Time to tuck that tail and go home. There’s nothing left for you here.”
Pushing her buttons was so easy for him. Maybe he didn’t realize that provoking her only fired her determination. The trouble was… he was right. Everything he’d said was true.
Ryske went past her to head out of the closet and off to his meeting with Hagan. All she could do was stumble backwards until the couch caught her.
Harlow was going home. The adventure was over.