Every morning when I wake up, I am extremely aware of the battle that is waging on my insides. Some call me crazy. Bipolar. Depressed? I call it reality. A reality very few speak of and most suppress. I welcome it, because more than being right is my desire is to be true. This place I wake up in every morning pulls me each day to choose. Some days, if I’m honest, are easier than others. But even weary days point me in the direction of life. I don’t move out of my bed until I look up. I lay there awaiting the instructions for the day. The God in me is absolutely priceless. Demons lurk behind smiles of friend’s coworker’s family and even opportunities. They all want a piece of my purpose. They only win when I’m unsure of where I’m going. Who am I again? Why am I relentlessly digging? What am I searching for? Again, I look up. This is balance. I am not dreaming, no. This war waging between two worlds is real, and I am forever stuck in the middle until I fully choose a side. That’s pressure. The glimpses of glory used to be enough for me but the longer I wait, my spirit man groans for the land that was promised to me. I am not satisfied until my assignment is complete. Relentless. Each step intentionally purposed. Passion building up on my insides as I am filled with holy power from on high. Just as I get ready to unleash my wrath, I see a snail. He moves at his own pace, unbothered by the chaos that surrounds him. That’s humility. That’s peace. That’s wisdom. I look up for my next instruction. You see, I am on fire, yet not consumed. I work a nine-to-five. That’s grounded. I raise myself rebirthed. That’s grace. I receive messages from heaven and feed them to my ungrateful friends and hungry enemies. That’s love. My soul cries because I have no clue what to do with this life with the soul with Queen Trinity Jones. So I look up. Living life in the balance.