Contrary to accepted mythology, Poseidon’s world didn’t sit on the bottom of the ocean. Rather, it was located on an island in the Aegean sea, an island that was invisible to mortal eyes and undetectable by radar. It looked like any Greek island; however, the palace standing on it rivaled the Acropolis in size. Around it, lush gardens interspersed with fresh-water ponds and creeks made the place look more like a tropical paradise than the arid landscape the rest of the Greek islands offered.
As Hermes passed through the gate, following a path made of crushed seashells, he steeled himself for the coming confrontation. Knowing it would definitely come to one, he’d elected to conduct this meeting on neutral ground, and Poseidon had been willing to provide it.
The door to Poseidon’s palace opened automatically, and Hermes walked through it, entering the inner courtyard. In its middle, there was an oversized Jacuzzi sunken into the ground and surrounded by comfortable lounge chairs. Small tables, laden with food and drinks, and a rack with folded towels complemented the spa-like space.
Poseidon waved to him from his relaxed pose in the Jacuzzi, flapping his tailfin and splashing water in Hermes’ direction.
“Don’t mind if I don’t get up, but it was time for my bath when you called.”
Hermes approached, nodding. “By all means, don’t let me interrupt your daily routine.” He glanced around. “Where are Zeus and Hades?”
“On their way,” Poseidon assured him. “Now tell me, how’s my son doing?”
“Splendidly as always. Sophia is good for him.”
His uncle smiled. “Always knew it. He’s a good boy.” Then his eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head to the side, studying him. “But it looks like you’ve got yourself into some trouble. All for a woman. Hope she’s worth it.”
Without hesitation, Hermes answered. “She is.” Yes, his Penny was worth all the trouble.
“You sure about that?” a voice asked from behind him.
Hermes swiveled and faced Zeus. Hades walked into the courtyard a few steps behind him.
“You’d better have a good reason for getting me down here, because as you may know, I’m not in the best mood these days, thanks to your little mortal tart!”
“Watch your words! You’re talking about my wife!”
Zeus grinned. “Oh, you mean the same wife who’s only too willing to divorce you to save her father and her colleague, neither of whom she can stand?”
Hermes fisted his hands at his hips. “Because you threatened her! What was she supposed to say?”
“Looked to me like she gave in pretty quickly. You can’t mean much to her if she’s willing to give you up without a fight.”
Zeus’s words grated on him, but he wouldn’t allow his father to plant doubts about Penny in him. What he’d seen in her eyes during their wedding night had been affection. She felt something for him, he was certain of it. Even if it wasn’t love yet, at least he would have a chance to make her fall in love with him. But for that he needed to stay married to her.
“Be that as it may, I haven’t come to talk about my marriage. I’ve come to propose a trade.”
“There’s nothing you can possibly offer me,” Zeus claimed.
“Let the boy speak, Zeus,” Poseidon interrupted. “I, for one, am interested in what he has to say.”
“Fine. Go on. I’m dying to hear what you’ve come up with.”
“Penny will remain married to me, and in exchange, her father and Kenton will take over the management of the ferry service over the Styx. That will solve all our labor disputes and get the bottleneck of souls flowing again. Meanwhile they’ll also oversee the construction of a bridge over the Styx.”
“A bridge?” Zeus asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’s the first brilliant idea you’ve had in a millennium.”
“It wasn’t my idea. It was Penny’s,” Hermes admitted proudly.
“The Greeks aren’t going to like that,” Poseidon interjected.
“I don’t care whether they like it or not. They shouldn’t have gone on strike then,” Hermes countered, looking back at Zeus, eager to hear his answer.
“Though the bridge is a good idea, I still fail to see how that’s a trade,” Zeus said, “considering that if I let those two men die, if Penny won’t agree to divorce you, they’ll end up in Hades’ Underworld anyway.”
“True, however, you forget one thing: if they die, they’ll enter as dead souls, and you know how willing dead souls are to work? That’s why we’re having this problem in the underworld in the first place. Dead souls are lazy workers, and even worse in management.”
Hades raised his hand. “Not entirely true. The two German security guards work extremely well, and they’re both dead souls.”
Hermes rolled his eyes. “Because they’re German. Have you ever seen a German who didn’t work? They’ll do anything for their six weeks of vacation a year! Even if they have to spend it down in the underworld.”
“So, if I agreed to this,” Zeus interrupted, “how are you going to convince Bart and Kenton to do this? What if they refuse to work once they’re down there?”
“We will of course have to give them some incentives: annual leave to return to the mortal world for example.”
Hades huffed. “I’m not giving them six weeks!”
“Two weeks will be plenty. After all, they’re not German. Americans only get two weeks.”
“Well,” Zeus mused, rubbing his chin. He exchanged a look with Hades. “If we do this, will that get you off my back?”
Hades nodded. “Works for me.”
Slowly, Zeus moved his head up and down. “Fine. But I have a condition too.” He squared his shoulders and stared at Hermes.
Hermes’ heart stopped. “What condition? If you think I’ll give her up, think again!”
“Hothead!” Zeus chastised. “Why do you always expect the worst from me?”
Hermes pressed his lips firmly together, not wanting to anger Zeus any further when the deal was nearly done.
“If you don’t produce a child with Penny within a year, I will consider your marriage a sham and take my revenge on her. Is that clear?” Zeus asked.
Hermes let out a sigh of relief and felt a grin spreading on his lips. “I’ll work at it day and night.”
Zeus chuckled. “Don’t I know it!” When he exchanged a conspiratorial look with his two brothers, Hermes felt the hairs on his nape stand up. He knew those looks. He’d seen them often enough.
“You planned this! You planned this all along to get me to settle down and get married!” Hermes ventured a guess.
Hades nudged his brother in the side. “Told you he’d figure it out eventually. You’re lucky he’s not the fastest thinker!”
Finally, everything made sense. “The contract I delivered to Hades. It was all in there, wasn’t it? You’ve manipulated me all along!”
Zeus grinned. “I just had to push you a little.”
“And Penny? Did you make her steal the sandals?”
Zeus shook his head. “I didn’t have to. Once she got the news that she would lose her job if she didn’t get tenure and realized that she would have to uproot her grandmother in due course, all I had to do was make sure Penny crossed your path.”
“You, you . . . ”
Zeus shrugged. “So what are you gonna do about it? Will you leave her now just because I gave you a little push in the right direction? Or are you man enough to stick to your guns and make love to your wife so you can present me with my grandchild?”
Hermes looked at the God of gods and knew exactly what his answer was. But he wouldn’t give his manipulative father the satisfaction of giving him a response.