Cora enjoyed getting to know her students over the next several weeks, despite facing some difficulties when it came to Zack Headerly. With Aiyana’s help, she muddled through the challenge he presented and was actually glad for the opportunity to have something important to speak to her biological mother about. Trying to turn a specific boy around was a project they could work on and feel good about together.
The passing time brought other good things, too. She admired Aiyana more and more as the days went by, and she spent every extra minute she could with Eli. When they weren’t together, she looked forward to his calls, texts and lunchtime visits. He often stopped by her classroom if he could. And, true to her word, in early October she took him to meet her folks, which went over well, except they liked him enough that they grew more worried instead of less about what might happen when he found out she hadn’t been entirely truthful with him.
“That man’s in love with you,” Lilly would warn whenever they talked on the phone. But Cora would stubbornly refute that.
“He hasn’t said anything about love,” she’d argue. Although she longed to hear him speak those three words—had choked them back time and again herself—she was also sort of relieved. As long as he didn’t make that verbal commitment, she could justify what she was doing by pretending their relationship wasn’t that serious, that they were merely enjoying each other while she was in Silver Springs.
Jill agreed with her parents. “What do you mean he doesn’t love you?” she’d scoff. “Of course he does! Maybe he doesn’t come right out and say it, but he shows you in so many ways.”
Jill, who’d seen them together twice and heard all the details of their relationship over the phone, was right. Cora had his full attention whenever they were together. He never acted like he didn’t want to see her. They spent every night together, except for when he’d go out with his brothers or do something with his mother—or she was with Darci, Jill or her big brother, who met her in LA between trips to New York. Even when they split up for various commitments, he’d check in with her often and slip into bed with her after. In addition to all of that, he took her with him to Sunday dinner at Aiyana’s every week. He even invited her along when he did extracurricular activities with the students, all of whom had come to view them as a couple. Some jokingly called her Mrs. T—or warned any new student that he’d better not flirt with “Eli’s girl.”
It was Thanksgiving almost before she knew it, and she and Eli were trying to figure out how to split their time between both families, just like a married couple. They ended up doing Thanksgiving dinner with Aiyana, the Turner boys, Aiyana’s parents and one of her brothers—who were all so wonderful to meet—on Thursday and driving to LA to have dinner with her parents on Friday, since Ashton was hung up in New York and couldn’t get back until then, anyway.
“He’s quiet, but I love the way he looks at you,” her mother said as they finished cleaning up after the big meal. Although Eli had helped with the dishes, too, he was now in the living room, watching football with her father and brother.
“You’re making more of it than it really is,” she said. “We enjoy each other. But we know it’s only a short-term affair.”
Her mother stopped scrubbing the big roasting pan she’d used to cook the turkey. “You’re still planning on moving back at the end of the year?”
“Of course.”
“What about Aiyana?”
Cora did her best to act as though she had everything under control. “I’ve decided not to say anything—to just...let it go. That solves everything, right?”
“Does it?” she countered. “After everything you did to find her?”
Surprised that it was Lilly who was pressing the issue, Cora nibbled at her bottom lip. This almost sounded as if Lilly would encourage Cora to tell Aiyana the truth, even though doing so came with the obvious risk that Aiyana would accept Cora into her life and Lilly would no longer be Cora’s only mother. “She didn’t want me for a reason, or she wouldn’t have given me up. And she must not regret her decision because she hasn’t come searching for me.”
Lilly turned on the sprayer to rinse the suds from the pan. “You don’t know that she hasn’t tried. Do you?”
“She could’ve found me. I found her, didn’t I? And I had a lot less resources to work with.”
“Maybe she’s afraid you won’t be happy to see her—that she’ll disrupt your life. Or that she’ll be stepping on my toes.”
“I was facing similar questions and concerns, and I still fought to find her.”
“I know, but from what you’ve told me, she’s pretty focused on her work. Perhaps she will come looking for you someday when...when she’s not so busy.”
“I doubt it. Let’s face it, ‘busy’ is an excuse. If I weighed on her mind as heavily as she once weighed on mine, she would’ve acted by now. Instead, no one even seems to know that she ever had a child.” She stood on tiptoe to return a bowl she’d dried to the cupboard. “I guess, when you put all of that together, I have my answer. She still doesn’t want me. But...at least we’re friends. At least I know her. That fills in some of the blanks and helps to... I don’t know...anchor me in some way.” It especially helped that they thought well of each other. That was so huge, Cora couldn’t regret having gone to such great lengths to find Aiyana. Thanks to the sacrifices she’d made, she’d had the opportunity to meet her grandparents and her oldest uncle yesterday, all of whom had been so nice.
“But you haven’t been able to ask her about your father,” Lilly said. “Or learn why she put you up for adoption. Both of those questions were important to you.”
Those questions had helped fuel her curiosity, but she only had herself to blame for her current predicament. Although, in the beginning, her plan had seemed so clever, it had turned into a far-reaching lie that she was now hesitant to expose. “I’ve made such a mess of everything. I guess I deserve to remain in the dark. I should’ve been up front—with you, Dad and Aiyana—from the start. I was trying not to hurt anyone. I wanted to test the water first, but then I met Eli, and everything just...spiraled out of control.”
“Have you heard from Matt since he called us?”
“To tattle on me?” She grimaced. “Yes. But just a couple of nasty texts.”
“He sent you some nasty texts?”
“Only after I called him a jerk for telling you guys,” she admitted.
“What’d he say?”
“That I’m not the woman he thought I was. Blah, blah, blah. He also said I should’ve told you to begin with. He’s right about that one.”
“But if you’d handled this any differently, if you hadn’t applied for a job there, you would never have gotten to know Eli. Maybe you would never even have met him.”
“That’s what Matt regrets,” Cora grumbled. “He’s mad that I’ve found someone else.”
Lilly, who’d wrung out the rag and started washing down the counters, turned to face her. “I think you should tell Eli, Cora.”
“About Aiyana?” She shook her head. “No. I’ve considered that many times, but I’m fairly certain she’s never told him that she ever had a baby. I don’t have the right to reveal something that personal about her life, in case...in case it will somehow hurt her or what she’s established.” She retrieved the dish towel she’d been using before and started drying the wineglasses. “Besides, if I tell him, he’ll feel like he has to share that information with Aiyana, for my sake if not hers, and I’d rather he not get involved, not be making those decisions for me.” She heard a soft ding as she set another cup on its bell-shaped top. “So, no matter how I look at the situation, it comes down to the same thing.”
“And that is...”
“I need to keep my mouth shut.”
Her mother pursed her lips. “What if your relationship with Eli continues to progress? What if someday he asks you to marry him?”
“He won’t,” she said.
“How do you know?”
“Because he’s a confirmed bachelor!”
A skeptical expression claimed her mother’s face. “Surely, he’ll want a family at some point.”
“Why? A family isn’t for everyone. He’s told plenty of people that he’ll never marry.”
“Because he doesn’t want to need anyone, doesn’t want to be hurt again, right? But it’s too late to protect his heart. He needs you. And if he doesn’t know that yet, he will soon.”
She waved her mother’s words away. “That’s not true. The students at the ranch are his family. He’s got his mother and brothers, too. And look at him—he could have about any woman he wanted if...if he was hungry for that sort of thing.”
Her mother gripped her shoulders so that she had to look up. “I think you’re underestimating him.”
“You don’t know what he’s been through, Mom.”
“Yes, I do,” she said quietly. “You’ve mentioned a few things, so...your father and I looked him up on the internet.”
Cora fell silent.
“It’s tragic,” her mother added in a whisper. “Does he ever hear from the people who...who were so unkind?”
“He hears from his biological mother every once in a while.”
“He has a relationship with her?”
“No, he doesn’t want anything to do with her. But she hits him up for money when she gets desperate.” Jo hadn’t called or texted him since he’d told her to leave him alone the last time, but how long would that last? She’d contact him again in the future. He said she reached out every once in a while, when she was desperate for financial support or she felt the need to justify her actions. He said she always tried to convince him that she wasn’t to blame.
“How could any mother be like that?” Lilly asked.
“It’s tough to imagine.”
“Turned my stomach to read about it. But look how he’s turned out in spite of them. I’m so proud of him.”
Cora felt the same warmth pour through her she experienced whenever she saw him or thought about him. “So am I.”
Her mother pulled her into a tight embrace. “I believe you were brought together for a reason, honey. That it was meant to be.”
“And Aiyana?” Cora asked.
Lilly released her. “I guess I’m finally coming to terms with the idea of sharing you.”
She smiled wryly. “You just like Eli and know he wouldn’t be part of our lives if I hadn’t gone in search of Aiyana.”
Her mother chuckled. “I admit that’s part of it. Acquiring a son-in-law helps soften the idea that I might lose part of my daughter. But I’ve been doing some thinking—about you and me and the situation.”
“And?”
“I’ve decided that I need to trust love,” she said.
* * *
“What are you doing?”
Eli glanced up to see Gavin scowling at him for stopping so abruptly. They’d just finished breakfast, were walking down to the hardware store to pick up some parts Gavin needed to repair a sink in one of the dorms when Eli’d noticed they were passing H & G Jewelers. Sight of all the sparkling diamonds on display had caught his attention and caused him to fall out of step.
“Nothing.” He pulled his gaze away from what was behind the glass so he could catch up, but turned back almost immediately. He wasn’t ready to leave yet; he wanted to look some more. “I’ve been trying to come up with a good Christmas gift for Cora,” he explained.
“You’re thinking jewelry?”
“Most women like jewelry, don’t they?”
“All the ones I know,” Gavin agreed.
Eli gestured toward the door. “Do you mind if we stop in here for a few minutes?”
“Not at all.” His brother followed him inside. “What kind of jewelry are you looking for? A necklace? Earrings?”
It was the engagement rings that’d captured his attention. He’d begun to think about Cora in a different way. As easy and natural as their relationship had been, he’d felt the shift several weeks ago. He’d tried to fight it by giving himself all the reasons he’d be stupid to try to make it permanent. But no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t seem to regain his enthusiasm for bachelorhood.
The simple truth was that he’d never cared for anyone the way he cared for her, never enjoyed someone so much. She didn’t seem to mind that he couldn’t verbalize his emotions or talk about his past, didn’t take it personally. That helped, but there were other things about her that made her unique, too. She seemed more relaxed, more confident, more easygoing than any of the women he’d dated before. They just fit together somehow, and although she was still talking as if she planned to leave in the spring, he was beginning to dread the thought of going on without her.
“Eli?” Gavin prompted when he didn’t respond.
“I don’t know yet,” he replied as a sales associate—a woman wearing a Santa hat—made her way over.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for something special to give my girlfriend for Christmas,” he told her. “Do you have anything you might suggest?”
“We have a lot of pretty things.” She showed him a thick chain bracelet, a ruby heart necklace, some black onyx earrings and several other items. She had a good eye—he thought Cora would like any of the items she’d singled out. And yet his attention kept straying to that case of engagement rings he’d seen in the window.
Once he walked over there, the sales clerk quickly followed and smiled coyly when he met her eager gaze. “Or, if you really want it to be a nice Christmas, you could go for one of these,” she said.
Gavin gestured dismissively. “Those are wedding sets.”
“I know what they are,” Eli said.
His brother blinked at him. “And you’re still interested?”
Was he? For years he’d been adamant that he’d never tie the knot. But the four months he’d known Cora had been the best four months of his life. He’d never felt more whole or healthy in a psychological and emotional sense. The thought of presenting her with a diamond ring that showed he was not only willing but eager to spend the rest of his life with her was exciting.
It was also a little terrifying, given his past. He’d be launching out into uncharted territory. Would he be able to make her happy? Or would there come a time when things wouldn’t be as easy or fun as they were now?
“Yes, I am,” he told Gavin and, shaking his head at how quickly he’d fallen for her when he thought he could avoid love altogether, he pointed at a ring featuring a large round solitaire. “That one looks like her.”
“Are you kidding?” Gavin cried. “That’s a big diamond! It’ll cost you ten thousand dollars, at least!”
The sales associate handed it to Eli, and he looked it over carefully. Unfortunately, the price was as high as Gavin had predicted, so he let his brother talk him into putting it back until he could devote some more thought to whether he really wanted to make such a purchase.
But over the next week, all he wanted to do was go back and buy that ring.
“Are you sure she’ll say yes?” Gavin asked when Eli brought it up again while they were lifting weights one evening at the school gym. “Because every time I talk to her, she seems dead set on leaving Silver Springs as soon as school gets out. I mean, if she won’t even stay here and teach another year...”
Eli had been a little worried about that, too. He knew she liked New Horizons and the area. She liked Aiyana, the rest of the staff, the students, too. And when she was with him? He got the feeling he meant a lot to her. Sometimes, just the way she looked at him seemed to speak volumes—especially when they were making love. But she’d never tried to commit him, never talked as if they had a future together. “I called the store this morning. The owner knows Mom, said I can surprise Cora with the ring and then return it if she says no.”
“So you want to risk it.”
He finished loading the barbell he was about to use. “The idea of proposing to her—of marrying her—has somehow taken hold of me, and I can’t get it out of my head.”
Gavin studied him closely. “You love her.”
With a groan for the physical strain it cost him, Eli did eight clean and jerks before dropping the barbell. “Yeah, I do,” he responded and realized that was the first time he’d ever said it out loud.