A week later, when Eli got up to play basketball on Saturday morning, Cora fell back asleep, so she was totally out of it when she heard a knock at the door. Eli didn’t get many visitors. He gave so much to the school during the day that when he retired to his “cave,” as Cora fondly called it, he demanded absolute privacy, and everyone knew it. That was what made it possible for her to stay with him so often. No one made a big deal about her almost living there because no one was privy to what he did, or who he spent his time with, after he disappeared from campus. Aiyana was about the only person who ever came over. Even Gavin and Eli’s younger brothers typically called or texted him rather than showing up. So Cora wasn’t surprised when she peered through the peep hole to find his adoptive mother on the stoop.
“Shoot,” she whispered and waited, hoping Aiyana would realize he wasn’t home and leave. Aiyana knew they’d been sleeping together, of course, but seeing Cora standing in his living room, wearing his T-shirt made it all a bit more...brazen, especially because he didn’t welcome a lot of people into his house and she was becoming a regular fixture.
But Aiyana didn’t leave. Another knock sounded.
Accepting the fact that she wasn’t going to get out of this encounter, Cora used her fingers to comb down her hair and answered the door. “Hi,” she said, squinting against the sunlight. Although Christmas was only a week away, the weather felt more like March or April.
Aiyana grinned as her eyes swept over Cora, then took in what she could see of the living room.
Nervously smoothing the wrinkles from Eli’s T-shirt, Cora turned to follow her gaze. “What?”
“I’ve never seen this house look so...homey. My son actually has a Christmas tree—probably for the first time since he moved out of my house. And look, there’re photographs of the two of you, and art you’ve created. Even a few plants. Wow. Who knew so much could change in such a short time.”
“I tend to fill my space with the things I love,” she said but flushed immediately after because this wasn’t “her space.”
“This place was pretty barren,” she added lamely.
“So was his soul. Fortunately, that’s changed, too,” Aiyana said, but she didn’t allow Cora any time to comment. “Can I come in?”
“Of course. Except Eli’s not here. He’s—”
“At the basketball court. I know. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up so I decided to walk over.”
Cora didn’t get the impression she’d first tried the faculty housing. Aiyana had known right where to find her. “Are you...upset about something?” she asked as she stepped out of the way so that Aiyana could come in. Her mind raced through the past several days, searching for any incident in her classroom that might’ve warranted a visit from her “boss.”
“Not at all. I’d like to go Christmas shopping today and was hoping you’d be interested in going with me. That’s all.”
Cora felt her eyes widen. “You mean...the three of us?”
“No. Just you and me. Eli’s not much fun to take on an extended shopping trip. He’s tolerant, if you know what you want and are just going to pick it up. But wandering around, admiring lights and decorations and such?” She shook her head. “Not particularly.”
Cora laughed. She’d taken him to Rodeo Drive the last time they visited LA, since he’d never been there, and found that to be true. He was far more interested in seeking out places to eat or heading to the beach to play sand volleyball or go body surfing than shopping. “True.”
“I thought maybe we could make a day of it, go to lunch, too. There’s a delicious Thai place in Santa Barbara that I’d love to treat you to.”
“I’d like that,” Cora said.
“Great. How soon can you be ready?”
“Thirty minutes?”
“No rush. Just come over to my place when you’re done.”
“Sounds like fun.” Cora was so excited about having the opportunity to be alone with her biological mother for hours—Christmas shopping, no less—that she grabbed Aiyana and hugged her on impulse. “I love you,” she said. “You are so wonderful.”
Although Aiyana permitted the hug, Cora could tell she was taken aback. When Cora let go, Aiyana searched Cora’s face wearing a bemused expression. But then she smoothed the hair out of Cora’s eyes and smiled. “I’m so glad you came to us,” she said and kissed her cheek, just as she might’ve done had they been together when Cora was just a child.
Cora’s heart was pounding when Aiyana left. She couldn’t even make herself get ready. She sat on the couch, remembering every minute of that exchange. There was a moment when Aiyana was staring into her face that Cora had almost told her. She’d come so close...
She was still sitting on the couch in a bit of a daze when Eli walked through the door a few minutes later.
“Hey. What are you doing out here?” He used the bottom of his T-shirt to wipe the perspiration from his forehead as he spoke.
Cora summoned the energy to stand. “Nothing.”
His eyebrows came together as he dropped his shirt, which was now stretched and wrinkled as well as sweaty. “Was I gone too long? Have you been waiting for me?” He checked the clock on his phone, which he’d left on the counter. “I thought I’d wake you up when I got back. You usually sleep until nine or ten on weekends.”
“I wasn’t getting impatient. Your mother came by and woke me up.”
He crossed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. “What for?”
“To invite me to go shopping with her.”
“Does she want me to go, too?”
“No. Just me.” That was the beauty of it. Aiyana had sought her out. She wasn’t merely a tagalong because she was dating Eli.
“Really.” He eyed her speculatively. “Do you want to go?”
“I’d like to—if you wouldn’t mind me skipping out on whatever we might’ve done today.” They didn’t have any specific plans, but they’d started to spend all their weekends together, so she knew the expectation would be there.
“Of course I wouldn’t mind, not if you think it’d be fun.” He downed his water. “So it’s a girls’ day, huh?”
“That’s how she presented it.”
“With as much as you admire my mother, I bet you’ll enjoy that. I don’t get any attention when we go over there on Sundays,” he joked.
“You get plenty of attention—always.” He was almost all she could think about. If only he knew how drastically he’d impacted her in every way. “But you’re right, I’m excited to spend some time with her.”
He walked over, took her hands and straightened the rings she wore on three different fingers so that the jeweled parts no longer slanted to the left or right. “What is it about her?”
“Nothing,” she lied. “I just...like her.”
“I’m glad, because she likes you, too. Anyway, I’ll take some of the boys riding. I promised those who scored the highest on Mr. Travers’s chemistry test that I’d take them out one day.”
Cora flinched beneath the guilt she felt for continuing to keep such a secret. “Perfect time to fulfill that promise.”
Being careful not to get her sweaty, he leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll miss you.”
“I have a few minutes,” she said with a promising grin and pulled him into the bathroom so they could shower together. She needed something powerful to help her forget the confrontation she knew was coming—eventually.
* * *
The day seemed so boring without Cora. That he missed her even more than he thought he would told Eli how much he was coming to rely on her company, which made him a little nervous. Would that turn out to be a bad thing?
If she insisted on leaving Silver Springs at the end of the school year it would...
He held off contacting her until it was almost dinnertime, hoping she’d get back. But then he texted her.
How much longer are you going to be? You guys are taking forever.
We’re on our way home.
Have you eaten? Should I turn on the barbecue and grill a couple of burgers? He’d been waiting to eat with her.
No. I’m bringing you sushi. We had Thai for lunch but ended up staying so long we went to sushi for dinner. It was a great place. You’re going to love it.
Did you get all of your shopping done?
Most of it.
What’d you get me? he teased.
Nothing. I already had your present, she wrote back with a winking emoji.
Where is it? I’ll go take a look.
You’d better not snoop around! You’ll see it at Christmas.
He imagined how surprised she was going to be. I’ve got yours, too. Picked it up today.
I have no clue what it could be.
And she’d never guess. What he didn’t know was whether she’d like it.
* * *
Christmas morning dawned to dark skies and rain. Cora listened to the soft patter hitting Eli’s house as she watched him sleep. She cared so much about him, had never been so in love—and that meant she had to tell him the truth. Every minute they grew closer under false pretenses was a minute she feared he might one day hold against her. Aiyana, too. She’d been sleeping with him for four months. That was such a long time to perpetuate a lie, so long she’d definitely struggle to explain why she didn’t speak up sooner.
But when she looked back, she couldn’t isolate a point in time when she could definitively say, That’s when I should’ve said something. As soon as she picked a point like that, she’d realize what the truth could’ve cost her—Sunday dinners at Aiyana’s, the nights she’d spent in Eli’s arms and the days she’d spent looking forward to them, the shopping excursion she’d enjoyed with her biological mother last week, being invited to Aiyana’s for Christmas Eve. If she’d told the truth from the beginning, most of that, maybe none of it, wouldn’t have happened.
Choosing the path she did had enabled her to create some beautiful memories. But if she lost Eli and Aiyana, mere memories would never be enough...
Eli opened his eyes and smiled the second he realized that she was awake. “Morning.”
She returned his smile. “Morning.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Same to you.” She tucked her hands up under her pillow as she studied him. “Would you like to open your present?”
He covered a yawn. “We’re not going to wait until we have dinner at your parents’?” They’d spent Christmas Eve with Aiyana and all his brothers last night so that they could join her family today.
“I’d like to give it to you now.” Because it was something she hoped would speak to, and comfort, his inner child, she didn’t want him facing an audience when he opened it.
“Okay.” He sat up. “Let me have it.”
She slipped out of bed to grab the box she’d put under the tree after they’d returned from his mother’s house last night. Until that time, she’d hidden it in a closet at her place.
“It’s heavy,” he said as she put it in his lap.
“I hope you’ll like it.” She sat nervously on the bed beside him as he tore off the paper. “I mean...it’s not something the typical guy would probably like, but... I don’t know. It seemed to me as if...”
His expression changed, grew less anticipatory and more reflective, as he lifted her sculpture out of the box. Although it was conceptual, she hoped he could tell that it depicted a man holding the hand of a little boy.
“Wow,” he murmured. “You made this?”
“I did. I admit I’m not as good as I want to be, but I was trying to create something for you that represented the difference you are making here at New Horizons—in so many lives.”
“I love it,” he murmured. “I’ve often stared at that sculpture you created of a mother cradling her child. That piece is the reason I hired you. I’ve always loved it.”
“I’ve noticed. That’s why I attempted this. If you like that one better, you can have it. I just thought it was more important to focus on what you are giving others.” And not highlight the fact that he didn’t at first have the kind of mother who would nurture him as a mother should.
“I don’t even know what to say, Cora. This must’ve taken you hours and hours. I couldn’t love anything more.”
He seemed so sincere that she let her breath go in relief. “I’m glad. I struggled so long with the way their hands come together. That was the hardest part. It still doesn’t look right to me.”
“Are you kidding? That part—all of it—is perfect.” He studied her gift for several more seconds before setting it reverently to one side. “And now I have something for you.”
“You’re going to give me your present now, as well? You can wait until we go to dinner, if you want.”
“No, I think this is the right time.”
“Okay.” She felt such excitement. He’d bought her plenty of things so far—lots of meals and treats and even a few clothes when they’d happened upon a blouse or something she liked. She’d bought him stuff, too. But this was their first formal exchange. She thought maybe he’d purchased some art supplies or the painting she’d fallen in love with at the boutique off the beach they’d found last time they went to LA. But what he retrieved from his drawer was far too small to be either of those things.
It was jewelry. Clearly. But what kind?
She grinned at him as she tore off the tiny bow and the pretty wrapping. Inside she found a box with a lid. Under the lid was another box, this one the velvet type. “I never would’ve expected you to get me jewelry,” she said. “We’ve never even looked at it.”
He said nothing, just watched as she opened the lid.
Her jaw dropped the moment she saw the ring, and she blinked several times, trying to decide what it might mean. “This is...this is stunning!” she said. “Literally. I don’t know what to say. It must’ve been so expensive. And...” And it looked like an engagement ring! She searched his face, trying to figure out if it was an engagement ring as he took her hand.
“Will you marry me, Cora?”
Cora could hardly breathe. This was a proposal—nothing she’d expected to come from Eli. Not this soon. He’d convinced her that he would never take that step, that he couldn’t trust enough to take that step. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she’d always hoped he’d find his way around that barrier. But now? She wasn’t prepared! She still hadn’t told him the truth!
“You keep talking about moving away after next semester,” he said. “But I hate the thought of that. I hope you’ll stay here, with me. You gave me that statue to symbolize what I’m trying to do here at New Horizons—”
“What you are doing,” she broke in.
“But you’re doing the same thing—making a difference in the lives of young people who need you. I need you, too, even though I’m not so young,” he added with a grin.
Her gaze met and locked with his. “Are you saying you love me, Eli?”
“How can you even ask that? Nothing else could ever make me take this risk. You’ve changed my life, Cora. Made me whole,” he added softly.
Tears filled her eyes as she stared down at the big diamond he’d bought. “This is gorgeous.”
He leaned in to catch her eye. “I was hoping you’d simply say yes. Don’t you love me?”
“I do. Without question. I just...” She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “I have to tell you something before I can accept this. I wasn’t going to do it on Christmas—I didn’t want to ruin the holidays. But... I’m afraid I’ve put it off too long already. And now you’ll hate me, which will make this ring a moot point.”
Lines of consternation appeared on his forehead. “What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “You won’t believe it. And what makes it all worse is that I don’t even know if I have the right to tell you. I feel like this should come from Aiyana, since you’re her son. But...but it hasn’t come from her. No one seems to know about me. And once I met you, I couldn’t resist you. I tried. Lord knows I tried. Anyway, here we are.”
He got off the bed. “That just confused the hell out of me. What are you talking about?”
“Aiyana’s my biological mother, Eli.” There. She’d said it.
For a moment, she wished she could snatch those words right back. She was so terrified of what they might destroy. But she couldn’t continue to live a lie. That wasn’t fair to Eli, which meant she didn’t really have a choice.
“That’s impossible,” he said.
“I assure you it’s not impossible. It’s true.”
“She had a child.” His words rang with disbelief.
“Yes. One she gave up for adoption twenty-eight years ago—to a couple in LA. Brad and Lilly, both of whom you’ve met. I’m that child.”
“But...why would she give you up? Was she too young? Unable to care for you? Aiyana loves children!”
“I can’t provide the reason. She was twenty-one, so not outrageously young. That’s the thing. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t want me. That’s what drove me to come here—that and wondering what my biological mother might be like.”
“Does she know who you are?”
“No.”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Holy shit.”
“I’m sorry. I would’ve told you sooner, but...it’s all been so complicated for me. Once the private investigator helped me locate Aiyana, and I saw that she ran New Horizons and was looking for an art instructor, I believed it was meant to be. What an opportunity, right? I thought I’d apply and hope to land the job so that I could get to know her a bit before...before divulging my identity. I felt if I could only learn more about her, I might understand why she gave me away and be able to determine if she might welcome me back. That’s all. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone, not in a harmful way. And I certainly wasn’t planning on falling in love with you.”
He began to pace. “That’s why you wanted the job so badly.”
She nodded.
“And that’s why you were so set on leaving at the end of the year.”
“Yes. I didn’t see any other choice.” She sniffed to keep her nose from running. “As I said, it was never my intent to hurt anyone. That’s partly why I haven’t spoken up. Once I got to know Aiyana, I realized that there must be a good reason she cut me out of her life. But I’ve been afraid to find out what that reason is—even while curiosity eats me alive every day. Why would someone like Aiyana walk away from her own baby? It’s been nearly thirty years—why wouldn’t she come looking for me? And why has she never mentioned that she once had a child—to anyone? No one seems to know about me, which is why I feel guilty telling you. It feels disloyal to reveal all of this, as if I’m divulging her most intimate secret—even though it’s my secret, too.”
His chest lifted as he drew a deep breath. “Are you going to tell her who you are?”
“I don’t know. I go back and forth on that every day—another reason why I never told you. I didn’t want to burden you with the same uncertainty, didn’t want you to wonder if you were being disloyal to your own mother by not telling, if that’s the way you decided to go. So... I’ll ask you the same thing—are you going to tell her?”
He sat on the edge of the nightstand. “I feel like I should—like we should do it together.”
“What if she’s not happy to have me back, Eli?”
“How could she not be happy about that? Look at you! You’re gorgeous and so smart and good. What mother wouldn’t be proud of you?”
At that point, the emotion Cora had been struggling to hold back got the best of her. As tears began to run down her cheeks in earnest, he walked over to scoop her into his arms. “Don’t cry,” he murmured. “It breaks my heart to see you cry. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out together.”
“You don’t hate me?” she asked.
He laughed as he kissed the tip of her nose. “No. If this is the worst thing we ever have to get through—I mean between us, I understand it’s been very difficult for you and I’m not making light of that—we’re going to be okay.”
“So are we getting married?” she asked. “Do I get to keep the ring?”
He reached over to get it. “Absolutely,” he said as he slid it onto her finger. “Do you like this setting, or do you want to take it back and pick another one?”
“I want this one,” she replied. Somehow it meant more that he’d gone to the trouble of finding what he thought was just the right thing for her.
“I’m glad you like it.” He held her chin while he kissed her. “Merry Christmas.”