Elijah found Cora leaning up against the side of his truck when he came out of Doug Maggleby’s house.
“Thanks for putting my neighbor to bed for me,” she said as he walked toward her. “I was not looking forward to that.”
He could tell. She didn’t like Doug touching her, and he hadn’t liked it much, either. “No need to thank me. He’s not your responsibility.”
“He’s not yours, either.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I was going out of my way.”
She tucked her long brown hair behind her ears. “So you didn’t do it for me?”
He had done it for her, but he preferred to downplay that part. “No.”
He assumed she’d let it go at that, but she gave him a skeptical once-over.
“What?” he said.
“You’re so full of it.”
He felt his eyebrows go up. He wasn’t sure he’d ever had another woman say something like that to him before. “Excuse me?”
“You’re acting like you’re not interested in me, but...”
This new girl was nothing if not unpredictable, Elijah decided. She didn’t play by the usual rules—at least not the old-fashioned rules he’d grown accustomed to living out here in the country. Problem was...she was right. He was interested in her. But he couldn’t let himself act on that interest. “What makes you think so?” He rested both hands on the truck, one on either side of her. He figured if she was going to challenge him, he was going to challenge her right back.
But she didn’t flounder for a response, didn’t back down. She wasn’t intimidated in the least, even though he had her penned between his arms and virtually towered over her.
Her gaze lowered to his mouth. “The way you look at me.”
He tensed with the desire to press her up against his truck and kiss her soundly. She was baiting him, trying to see what he would do, which left him torn. Part of him felt she deserved to get a bit more than she bargained for. The other part knew better than to let things move in that direction. He’d been keeping his distance from her for a reason.
“You’re the one who said you had a boyfriend,” he said. “Maybe you’ve forgotten the other day. I was carrying in your boxes, you were acting all concerned, as if that might mean you owed me something, and then you said—”
“I remember,” she broke in.
“So...what’s up with that? Where’d your boyfriend go?”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “I broke up with him over a month ago.”
“You lied?”
Still, she didn’t back down. “Basically.”
“Because...”
For the first time her confidence seemed to waver. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. I... I felt something I didn’t want to feel. And I panicked.”
He was so astounded by her honesty he wasn’t sure how to respond. So he went with the obvious—what he’d been using to warn himself off since she’d arrived in Silver Springs. “I’m your boss, Cora.”
“That’s what’s holding you back? Professional integrity?”
“One of the things, yes. This school—the boys here—are important to me.”
“One doesn’t necessarily cancel out the other.”
“I hired you because I thought you’d be the best teacher for the job.” He’d also thought he’d be able to ignore how alive he felt whenever he was around her, but he’d never expected her to confront him so directly. That forced the issue out in the open, made the attraction more difficult to ignore. “I’m sure my mother wouldn’t thank me for giving her new art instructor reason to quit and leave.”
That brief moment of insecurity he’d noted before seemed to fall by the wayside. “You’re sure dating me would go in that direction?”
His ex-girlfriend said he walled himself off, refused to give anything emotionally. And she probably had the right of it. The shrink Aiyana used to send him to said a lot of the same stuff. Dr. Anderson told him he needed to learn how to open up, which sounded good in theory but he couldn’t figure out how. He’d finally refused to continue therapy. He wanted to close the door on his past and make sure it was never opened again, not rehash those painful memories.
“It’s not like I’ve never been down this road,” he said. “I’ve been in a number of relationships. Enough to know my limitations.”
“All those relationships ended badly?”
He’d been taught to believe he was so terrible, so unacceptable, that he’d been painfully shy around girls growing up. He hadn’t even started dating until he was twenty, and he’d only had three fairly serious—and fairly short—relationships since. “Let’s just say...I don’t have a high success ratio when it comes to women.”
“You and Aiyana are very close.”
“That’s different.”
“Love is love. You had to decide to trust her at some point.”
“Not everyone has her patience,” he said. “She was so determined to love me, I had no choice.”
“And those other women?”
The scent of her perfume rose to his nostrils. He liked the way she smelled, wanted to touch all that soft-looking skin. The temptation to slide his hand up her shirt burned through him like hard liquor. “As I said, it’s not the same thing.”
“Because it involves physical intimacy? What, exactly, are your ‘limitations’? Are you saying you can’t have sex?”
He was pretty sure she was goading him. At least, he hoped she was, that she didn’t really believe he was incapable. Either way, he was eager to put the question to rest. “My body works fine. It’s my inability to make you feel loved and ‘validated.’ I think that was the word.”
“So I’d only get hurt if I got involved with you.”
“Yes. You’d essentially be getting a locked box.”
He was being transparent, completely up front. She was the one who’d set that tone. So it surprised him when she barked out a laugh. “You think you’re doing me a favor by staying away!”
He was trying to adhere to the decisions he’d made after that last ugly blowout with Tina. He’d been glad for the peace and balance he’d found since they broke up a year ago. But twelve months was a long time to go without a woman... “Essentially.”
“Well, you’re taking a lot for granted, Mr. Turner. First of all, how do you know I’m going to want you to love me?”
“Experience,” he said wryly. “I have yet to encounter the opposite problem.”
“You’re in such high demand that you’ve grown arrogant?”
“Failure hardly makes me arrogant. It does, however, make me want to avoid running into the same brick wall.”
“I see. Well, you don’t have to look out for me. I’m a big girl.”
“Which, of course, you’ll say until our relationship doesn’t progress. Then you’ll quit your job and go back to LA.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m only here for one year. No matter what happens, I’m not going to quit my job.”
Was she as resilient as she pretended? He couldn’t help getting his hopes up. He was already starting to imagine her on her back, her hair falling across his pillow... “Then you have a decision to make.”
“What kind of decision?”
“Are you up for a strictly physical relationship? Because if that’s all you’re after, I’d be happy to accommodate you. I have no doubt I could satisfy you there.”
She studied him. “That’s all you’re interested in?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t about to go down the same road he’d been down before. But he wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, since she sounded almost...relieved by this news.
“You’re sure? I could never hurt you?”
“No. I’m too good at keeping my gloves up.” He’d been trained from a young age...
She nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
That didn’t sound as though she’d make up her mind as quickly as he was hoping. “Any chance you could think fast?”
He wanted to kiss her so badly; the way she chewed on her bottom lip made him sort of light-headed. “We should probably give it a few weeks. See how we feel,” she replied.
“Weeks? Does it have to take that long? Because I’ve already made up my mind.”
She seemed uncertain. “There is something I should probably tell you...”
“And that is...”
More lip nibbling. “I’ve never had a strictly physical relationship.”
He shifted his gaze from her lips to her eyes. “Not even a one-night stand?”
“No.”
“What? You’re from LA!”
Her expression changed to one of outrage—until she realized he was joking. “Don’t even start with those stereotypes,” she grumbled. “Or I’ll go for the country bumpkin stuff.”
Somehow, he’d underestimated her. She wasn’t making it easy for him to ignore the attraction he felt. He liked her spunk. “Can you at least tell me what my chances are?” he asked, leaning a little closer.
“I’m the one who approached you, so...I’d say they’re pretty decent.”
“What made you approach me?” he asked, because that was a game changer. Otherwise, he would’ve continued to skirt around her indefinitely.
“There’s just something about you.”
All the things he could say to coax her, to convince her she wouldn’t regret spending the night with him rose to his lips. But he knew it wouldn’t be fair to put any pressure on her. She could easily regret the arrangement he proposed. And he didn’t want that.
Taking her hand, he held it to his chest so that she could feel how hard his heart was beating. Maybe he couldn’t promise her forever, but she wanted him. She’d just said so. And he wanted her.
Her hand moved slowly over his pectoral muscles in a curious caress that made him hard as a rock. He almost kissed her, was tempted to use his body to convince her if he couldn’t allow himself to use his voice. But as soon as he dipped his head, she seemed to understand they were only seconds away from “too late.” Once they crossed that line there would be no going back. One spark could cause them both to go up in flames.
“Like I said, I’ll think about it.” Pulling away, she started up the drive.
Disappointment bit deep. He stood there without reacting for several seconds, trying to overcome the letdown. Then he said, “Wait.”
She didn’t come back to him, but she turned, so he walked over and held out his hand. “Where’s your phone?”
When she pulled it from her pocket and handed it to him, he put in his number and gave it back to her. “In case the answer is yes. Maybe it won’t take as long as you think.”
* * *
Cora stared at Elijah’s number for at least an hour after he left. She switched between the contact information he’d put in her phone and the picture she’d taken of him out on that ride. She loved that picture so much. And yet...they’d never really spent any time together. It was ridiculous that she’d feel so compelled to call him.
She was just lonely, she told herself. She’d made a big change, was out of her element. She needed to forget about him and concentrate on what she’d come here to do, which was to teach and get to know Aiyana. She was part Nicaraguan. She had grandparents. She had uncles. These were the things she’d hoped to seek out. Her plans didn’t include Elijah.
But she couldn’t have anything serious with Elijah, anyway. Not without telling him that she was Aiyana’s biological daughter. And she wasn’t ready to do that. So he’d offered her the perfect solution: the chance to fulfill the desire he evoked without expectation.
After another ten minutes spent pacing around her small cottage, she decided to walk over to the pond. She thought sitting on the dock with the moon shining down on the water might help calm her mind. But even there, she was restless—too restless to remain on the jetty. Eventually, she made her way over to the horses’ pen where she hoped, with the animals, she wouldn’t feel quite so alone.
“There you are, big boy,” she crooned, petting the nose of Elijah’s giant horse when it ambled over to see her. “Looks like you’re not getting much sleep tonight, either.”
“You okay?”
Startled by the sound of Elijah’s voice, Cora turned to see a dark figure sitting on the fence of the llama pen not far away, in the shadow of the nearby barn.
She pressed a hand to her chest to compensate for the shock he’d given her. “How long have you been there?”
“Since before you came out.”
“You saw me, and you didn’t say anything?”
“I was considering it.”
“It took you a while to decide!”
“I wasn’t sure you wanted to be disturbed.”
Somehow it seemed like fate that they would run into each other again tonight. Or maybe she’d been subconsciously hoping for that, hoping for another opportunity, without actually having to call him. Although she’d never seen his house, she knew he lived on this part of the ranch, near the animals. She was hesitant to admit it, but, deep down, she was fairly certain that was why she’d come over here so often already. She’d been hoping to see him all along. “What are you doing out here?” she asked.
“Same thing you are, I suppose.”
“You can’t sleep.”
“I have something on my mind.”
“And that is...”
“You.”
Cora squinted across the distance between them, trying to make out his expression. He was lonely, too, she realized. As much as he tried to pretend otherwise, he had to be. He was so aloof, so careful to warn most everyone away. She was no psychologist, but after what he’d been through, that had to be a defense mechanism. And what he’d said about Aiyana seemed to prove it. By his own admission, Aiyana had only busted through his reserve because she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Maybe that was what getting close to him required—the ability to love without expectation, without measuring or demanding anything in return. Cora could understand why that might be the case. He was tired of disappointing the women he dated, tired of feeling inadequate when they became disappointed. She’d sensed that in what he’d had to say earlier. There’d been a degree of fatalism, as if he’d given up.
His previous girlfriends had probably wanted to establish a regular relationship, one that escalated toward marriage. So they had an agenda, of sorts. Cora, on the other hand, had no agenda. She wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship, couldn’t have one with him, anyway, not without a very honest conversation she wasn’t willing to have.
So...what if she just gave him someone to be with while she was here, some meaningful intimacy that was warm and supportive without pushing him for anything more?
“Sounds like you could use a massage,” she said.
There was a moment of silence. Then he said, “Are you offering to give me one?”
She could tell he wasn’t really asking about a massage, just as she knew he understood her answer wouldn’t be strictly limited to one. “Sure.”
“Tonight—or do I have to wait a few weeks?”
She chuckled. “Don’t push your luck.”
The darkness made it difficult to tell for sure, but she was fairly certain she’d gotten a smile out of him.
“You wouldn’t be out here if you weren’t as taken with the idea as I am,” he said.
“You have a point, I suppose.”
“You’re not going to pretend otherwise?”
“No. Should we go to your place—or mine?”
He hopped off the fence and came toward her. “Mine.”
“Any particular reason?”
“I don’t have neighbors.”
“Mr. Maggleby does tend to keep tabs on me.”
“Mr. Maggleby is probably down for the count, but my house would still be better.”
Cora drew a steadying breath as he advanced. She’d be spending the night with him. She’d just made the commitment, wouldn’t feel good about backing out now.
Fortunately, she didn’t want to. But her motives weren’t entirely altruistic. She’d been craving the opportunity to touch him since the first day she’d met him.
And now she was going to have her chance.