Sloane
My knife scrapes violently across the plate and its angry screech makes the whole room flinch. Dad briefly pauses midsentence to pull a face like I did it on purpose. What does he want? It’s a tough piece of meat. Maybe if he hadn’t left it on the grill like he was trying to torture nuclear launch codes out of it, I wouldn’t be trying to coat a piece of charcoal in mashed potatoes to trick my throat into swallowing it. I doubt even the dogs would find tonight’s protein portion palatable. As if to prove that point, only Bo bothers begging tonight. Penny is asleep under the table, her head resting on my foot.
“Why didn’t Silas stay for dinner?” Dad asks from the head of the dining table.
Because he’s a lying, backstabbing prick, and he’s never coming for dinner again.
I swallow my fury along with the bone-dry bite of steak. “He had homework,” I say instead, because as much as I appreciate my dad is making an effort to stay involved in my life, I’m not about to start confiding in him about personal stuff.
My ex-friendship with Silas falls under “personal stuff.”
So does my relationship with RJ.
And my newly formed, intense hatred for Fenn. That absolutely needs to remain a secret right now. If Dad found out what Fenn did, he might actually kill him.
Speaking of killing Fenn, apparently RJ did no such thing tonight, judging by the texts that keep making my phone buzz in my lap. We’re not allowed to have phones at the table, but I knew RJ was talking to Fenn after soccer practice, and there was no way I was missing this update.
RJ: He says it’s complicated.
My gaze flicks to my lap.
Complicated?
It’s complicated?
That’s his reason for leaving my unconscious sister in the dirt and not telling a single soul all these months that he was the one who’d pulled her from the sinking car?
No.
No, I refuse to allow that to be his explanation. I refuse.
I draw a calming breath, but it does nothing to soothe the eddy of anger swirling in my gut along with Dad’s charred steak.
“What do you think about sitting down with Mrs. Dermer sometime next week?” Dad is saying. “She’d be more than happy to offer her advice.”
I glance over at Casey for some clue as to what I’ve missed. Then I realize Dad was talking to me.
“Me?” I ask, tonguing burnt bits of meat from between my teeth.
“Yes, Sloane.” He takes a long sip of red wine to emphasize his annoyance. “College application deadlines are coming up. Wanda could look at your essays, perhaps.”
“I haven’t even started yet.”
“Therein lies the trouble.”
I smother a sigh. The misfortune of being the headmaster’s daughter—he wants to recruit his entire faculty to manage my college admissions.
“I’ve still got, like, two months. Relax.”
I haven’t even thought about college lately. I simply can’t handle another hassle right now. If it’s not bad enough I’ve got Silas creeping around behind my back like I’m going to wake up one day and realize my prince has been waiting in the shadows all along, I’m getting tugged in all directions between RJ, Fenn, and what’s best for Casey.
“Tone, young lady.”
“What? Why are you suddenly hassling me about college? Pester Casey for a while, will ya?”
She snorts a laugh at me. “Hey. What’d I do?”
“It’s clear you’ve been distracted recently,” Dad says, fixing a frown in my direction. “I don’t want you forgetting where your priorities should be.”
“I’ll get to it. Jesus.”
If he had any idea the Everest-sized mountain of shit I’ve been dealing with lately, maybe he’d cut me some slack. But of course, I can’t tell him. RJ begged for a chance to turn Fenn into a decent person overnight. And telling Dad means telling Casey, and maybe that’s what I’m most afraid of.
“College essays aren’t something you can put off to the last minute, Sloane…”
Another message from RJ pops up and I surreptitiously lower my gaze. Essentially, he couldn’t get much of anything out of Fenn. Some vague assurances and not much substance. No explanation whatsoever for why he didn’t stay with Casey, much less what made him keep it a secret all this time.
RJ: He wants to be the one to tell her.
I type a response under the table, while Dad continues lecturing me about my lack of focus.
Me: I don’t trust him.
RJ: Not like he has much choice now. He has to tell her.
“Are you listening, Sloane?” my father demands.
Casey kicks me under the table. I shoot her a glare because that hurt.
“Yes, I hear you,” I say to him, continuing to text. “Get my butt in gear or whatever. Anything else?”
Me: And who knows what he’ll say. He’s lied to all of us this whole time. What’s one more?
RJ: It seemed like he was genuinely sorry.
Me: Then he would have told you the truth. He’s still hiding something.
“Sloane,” Dad barks. “No phones during dinner.”
“Actually,” I say, pushing back from the table. “I’m done.”
With this meal and this conversation. I’m a pot that boiled over hours ago and is sitting empty on the stove, flames licking at the backsplash.
“Sit down. We eat as a family.”
“I said I’m done. I’m going for a run.”
I hear utensils hit the plate in frustration behind me as I go to my room to change clothes and tie my hair up in a bun. I grab my shoes from the mudroom and head out the back door.
It’s after dark, and while I mostly know these trails blindfolded, I stick to the lighted path that is the main trail toward the center of campus. I’m not in the mood to twist my ankle on a protruding tree root tonight.
I don’t get far before I hear quick footsteps behind me. I glance over my shoulder to find Casey huffing and puffing, running double-time to catch me.
“Go home,” I call behind me, pushing my pace to convince her she can’t keep up.
“Come on, Sloane. Ease up.”
“I can do this all night. You don’t want to be around me right now, Case.”
“Stop already. I’ve got a brick of burnt steak and a pound of mashed potatoes in my stomach,” she whines. “Don’t make me chase you.”
She comes up beside me, breathing hard and already dripping sweat. I tease her, speeding up when she thinks she’s caught me. Then suddenly I hear a thud and a startled yelp. I pull up to see her in the dirt behind me.
“You okay?” I hurry toward her, offering my hand to help her up.
“Yep.” She pops to her feet, still smiling, if a little embarrassed. “Tripped.”
“You should have stayed home.”
“Or you could be a big girl and explain why you’re in such a foul mood today. Is this about Silas? He looked upset when he left the house earlier.”
“He should be upset. Fucking asshole.”
Casey’s eyebrows fly up. “Oh. Okay. I thought you said you two weren’t fighting.”
“We weren’t. Now we are.” I start walking because it feels like if I stand still a second longer, I might combust. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course I’m going to worry about it! He’s your best friend.” She matches my stride. “What happened?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Clearly it does,” she argues.
“Oh my God. Fine. He set me up, okay?”
I feel Casey’s baffled gaze on me. “Set you up how?”
“When Fenn asked me to meet him to talk about what happened between us junior year, I told Silas to cover for me with RJ.” Lingering anger continues to ripple through my limbs. “Instead, he sent RJ into the woods to catch us.”
She gasps. “Why would he do that?”
“Why do you think? He wants to fuck me. So he tried to sabotage my relationship.”
She goes silent, and when I look over, I see her expression is still awash with confusion.
“I don’t believe it,” she finally says. “Silas wouldn’t do that.”
“He would and he did.” Bitterness coats my throat.
“Are you sure there isn’t another explanation? Silas is a good guy.”
I can’t help the burst of annoyance that goes off inside me. “Jesus, Case. Stop being so naïve. Not everyone is good or bad. Sometimes good guys end up being total assholes.” I shake my head at her. “Stop putting these guys on a goddamn pedestal.”
“Ah, okay. I get it. This is about Fenn.” Her voice is tight. Displeased.
“It’s not about Fenn.”
But it is.
I’ve wanted to strangle the guy ever since I saw his face on the security camera. Not only that, but it’s painful keeping things from my sister. I hate doing it. At the same time, I know the moment she finds out what really happened, her blissful ignorance will be shattered, and she’ll spiral back into the darkness that’s always waiting right on the periphery to consume her again. It seems like no matter how much she tries to put on a brave face, something comes along to snatch her back.
“I know it’s awkward, okay?” she says with a sigh. “Like, in theory, it’s weird that I’m dating a guy you hooked up with—”
I come up short. “Dating? What do you mean you’re dating him?”
She blinks. Shamefaced.
“What the hell, Case? Last time I asked you about it, you insisted you were just friends.” I knew she had a crush on him, obviously, but they’d both assured me it was platonic.
“We were friends,” she replies. “And now we’re more. I didn’t want to say anything yet because I knew you wouldn’t approve.”
The gust of anger nearly knocks me off my feet. They’re together now? The absolute nerve of this guy. He leaves her to die, then buddies up to her for months, and now he’s goddamn dating her?
“No,” I growl.
“Sloane, come on. I know you think I’m too naïve and inexperienced for him, but—”
“Naive?” I cut in, laughing without an ounce of humor. “We are so far beyond naive right now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.”