Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what
God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
“Aaron is such a lovely boy.” Bessie sifted and sorted through a box of letters.
Courtney sat on Bessie’s couch wondering if all those letters were from Aaron. “You certainly seem fond of him. You call him a ‘boy;’ how old did you say he was?”
“He's around thirty. Oh my, I still see him as he was before they moved away, so young he looked then, almost ten years ago.” Bessie picked up another letter and studied it. “Ah, now listen to this. ‘My heart aches so much for Ellen. I knew I loved her but I never knew how much our hearts and minds were entwined until she was gone. Being without her is like being without my very soul. I walk around and go about my work every day as half a person. The only reason I have to get out of bed and keep going is our kinner. They must learn how wonderful their mother was and I want to tell them about her, but it pains my heart to speak to them about her. I can’t speak of their mother to them without tears coming to my eyes and I don’t want them to see their father cry. They carry their own pain of her absence.’ And it goes on. I’m the only one he can confide in. He told me that.”
Courtney sat listening and wondered if Aaron had any idea that Bessie was reading his letters aloud to people.
“Does that tell you how caring he is?” Bessie asked leaning forward.
“Jah, it does and I know how he feels.”
“You and me both. Alfie is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. Aaron is just devastated about Ellen’s death. Here’s another one.” She lifted another letter out of the pile. “The one thing I’m happy about is that Ellen always knew how much I loved her and she loved me the same. We had a truly wonderful double-handful of years together and I thank the Lord daily for His blessings. I know He only gives us what we can bear and I’m hoping my suffering will soon come to an end. You tell me I’ll feel better as more time passes and I hope that is true. I long to go to my heavenly home and be with Ellen.”
Courtney raised her hand to have her stop reading. “That’s truly lovely, but you don’t have to read them to me.”
Bessie’s jaw dropped open. “I need you to see the real Aaron.”
“I do, I see the real Aaron. He’s heartbroken over losing his fraa who he loved so deeply.”
“So you see what kind of man he is?”
Courtney nodded. “Jah, I do. A man still very much in love.”
“It’s rather sad. It’s almost better to have never loved anyone than to love someone-to know real love—and then to lose it.” Bessie looked up at her. “Ach, I’m sorry, my dear, I didn’t think what I was saying. You’d feel the same way, wouldn’t you?”
“I do, but most of the time I try not to think about Mark because it’s difficult. I’m sure Aaron’s kinner are a help to him.”
“They will be when they’re older. Right now he’s finding it difficult to be both a mudder and vadder to the three of them.”
“It sounds like it would be perfect for me to go there and help him.”
“Jah, it does, and he says he doesn’t want to marry again and wants a woman who won’t stay for a small amount of time. He wants someone who can stay on forever—the right person that is.”
“I am that person.”
“Do you think it might be too isolated for you? It’s not a big community like we have here.”
‘I’m certain it will be perfect. What I need is a quieter life at the moment and to be kept busy, so this job seems like it will suit me just fine.”
“Well, I think you’d be perfect. And you two might be a comfort to each other since you’ve each lost a spouse.”
“Jah, there’s that too. Although I don’t think either of us will feel like discussing it.”
“Nee, you wouldn’t have to. Just to know that someone understands is often all that we need.” Bessie smiled kindly and Courtney smiled back. “Shall I write back and tell him I’ve found someone?”
“Ach, jah, please do. I thought you said you already did that.”
Bessie looked into the distance. “Did I say that?”
“You said yesterday that you wrote back to him and you told him I’d take the job.”
“I can’t quite recall that I did.” Bessie shook her head. ‘It won’t matter if I write again.”
Courtney considered that Bessie writing twice was better than thinking she’d written and not writing at all. “I’m so excited to start a new life,” Courtney said.
“I do hope you like it, but if you don’t, he can’t force you to stay.”
“I’ll be fine. Everything you’ve told me about Aaron and the place he’s prepared for a nanny sounds like it will suit me down to the ground.”
“I’ll send a letter to him today.” Bessie clasped both hands to her ample chest. “I can see him right now when he opens the letter. He’ll be so pleased.” She looked back at Courtney. “Now we have to see how we’re going to get you there. Aaron mentioned a bus so there must be a bus. I’ll have Milton find out for you.” Milton was one of Bessie’s sons who lived nearby.
“Denke.”
“The community is made up of only five families. The bishop is Eli, a friend who’d grown up with Aaron and his brother, James. They all moved there because reasonably priced farming land is scarce.”
“Jah I know. The price of the land keeps going up.”
“And it’s disappearing fast. That’s why some people in our community have had to move away from farming altogether—they simply can’t afford the land.”