WHEN CRAZY Percy Marshall had woken up this morning, he hadn’t thought he’d open his front door and find a gun pointed at his heart that afternoon. For one thing, he didn’t know that anyone knew (or cared) where he lived. Big difference from a week ago, when he thought his luck had changed. But now, as Crazy Percy looked at the pretty lady holding the tiny gun, he realized it was worse than ever. He sighed.
Transcript of conversation between Veena Lion and Percy Marshall
VEENA LION: May I come inside, Mr. Marshall?
PERCY MARSHALL: Can I just say no?
LION: No.
MARSHALL: Then, sure, make yourself at home. Want a beer?
LION: No, thank you. I’d like you to give me the Super Bowl ring and the wallet.
MARSHALL: Yeah, yeah. Figured that’s why you were here. Why didn’t Bernstein come down here himself? Hey, wait—you didn’t show me your badge. I don’t think that’s legal. You’re supposed to show me your badge.
LION: The ring?
MARSHALL: Okay, okay.
(Long pause as Marshall leaves, pulls open a kitchen drawer, returns.)
LION: Tell me how you got these.
MARSHALL: You know how I got these.
LION: Tell me anyway.
MARSHALL: I was walking, minding my own business, when I saw this crazy-ass car just sitting in front of the art museum. I got closer and realized who was inside it. I figured he was passed out or something, in which case I would have called for help. But no—he was shot, man. Someone killed him! I didn’t want any part of that.
LION: But before you ran away, you helped yourself to his Super Bowl ring and wallet.
MARSHALL: But I just gave them back to you! So it’s kind of like I borrowed them, right? Or held on to them for safekeeping?
LION: And you have no idea who killed Archie.
MARSHALL: Oh, I didn’t say that.
LION: Excuse me?
MARSHALL: Yeah, I know who killed the quarterback. And for the right price, I’ll tell ya.
LION: For a price, huh? Okay. How much is your life worth to you?
MARSHALL: What do you m—? Hey, come on, now, you don’t have to point that friggin’ thing at me!
LION: Let me repeat: How much. Is your life. Worth to you? Because to me, it’s worth absolutely nothing.
MARSHALL: You’re no cop.
LION: Never said I was.
MARSHALL: I want that ring and wallet back, missy.
LION: Never going to happen. Now tell me who killed Archie Hughes.
MARSHALL: Fuck you.
LION: I’m not a cop, but I am working for the district attorney. And I have zero problem explaining to them that I found a shot-up corpse in possession of a dead man’s ring and wallet. Who do you think they’re going to believe? Oh, that’s right, they’ll have to believe me, because you won’t be able to say a expletive word.
MARSHALL: Man. This week keeps circling the drain.
LION: Tell me who killed Archie.
MARSHALL: I can’t.
LION: What did I just say?
MARSHALL: No, no, no! I can’t tell you because I don’t know their names. But I can show you. It’s right here on my phone.