THAT NIGHT, AFTER Phil had told her his secret plan, and of her part in it, Judy had cried herself to sleep. She woke to find Phil standing by the bed, looking down on her with a smirk on his face. ‘Time to get up, my beauty,’ he said. ‘You and I have a busy day ahead, don’t we, sweetheart?’
He gave a wide smile. ‘I’ve taken the morning off,’ he announced. ‘I called in, told them I’d been awake all night with a stomach upset and would be in later … when I felt a bit better.’
Making no comment, Judy glanced at him with hatred.
He gave the bed a vicious kick. ‘Did you hear what I said, bitch? It’s time to get up!’
Snatching at the eiderdown, he pulled it off her and threw it across the room, leaving her shivering. Just as he was about to grab her by the ankles, she rolled to the other side of the bed and clambered out.
‘That’s it,’ he chuckled. ‘Wasn’t all that bad, was it, eh?’
As she passed by him he took hold of her arm and drew her to him, real close, his face almost touching hers. ‘You haven’t forgotten what you need to do, have you?’
Unable to look at him, she shook her head.
‘Answer me! Have you forgotten what we planned?’
This time she answered, her voice quiet, filled with loathing. ‘No, I haven’t forgotten.’
‘Get on with it then, and make sure you do it properly. Or you know what will happen, don’t you?’
She stared him out. ‘They should never have let you out of prison.’
‘Ah, but they did, and it’s just as well I had somebody watching you. Goodness me! You could have got miles away, if I hadn’t been clever enough to keep tabs on you.’
When she tried to walk on, he caught her by the face and squeezing his fingers either side of her chin, he forced her mouth open and gave her a long, sickening kiss; then he thrust her aside. ‘You should remember, Judy my love: you belong to me. I would never allow any other man to take what’s mine, especially Harry Blake! That’s why it’s so important that you do the job right today. Understand?’
When Judy tightened her lips, he bellowed, ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND?’ so loudly that she almost leaped out of her skin.
‘Yes, I understand.’
‘Good girl.’ Turning her about, he raised his boot and kicked her in the small of her back, sending her towards the dresser, which thankfully broke her fall. ‘Oh dear, silly me, I almost forgot.’ Crossing the room, he stood her up and brushed her down. ‘We don’t want to mark you,’ he said mockingly. ‘Mustn’t do anything to make him suspicious.’
He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. ‘Lazy cow!’ He gave her a disapproving glance. ‘It’s already gone nine. You’ve got a couple of hours to make yourself look good. After that, you’d best get to it. Oh, and in case you’re wondering why I’m taking the morning off work, it’s because I mean to deliver you there safely, to make sure you don’t chicken out. Oh, I’d love to be there to see his face, but I can’t afford to hang about. I don’t want to lose my job, not with you to keep and clothe.’
He grinned broadly. ‘No matter. I can look forward to hearing all about it when I get home.’
He followed her into the bathroom. ‘I fancy sausage, mash and mushy peas for my tea … oh, and get the fat sausages, not the thin ones that curl into a ball when you fry them. The fat sausages swell and split.’ He licked his lips. ‘I like it when all the goodness oozes out and clings to the skin.’
The images made him feel hungry. ‘And I want the peas well mushed, not hard like they were last time. Are you listening to me?’
Judy had never hated anyone in her life the way she hated him; not even the other one. The one who had ruined her life for ever.
Sometimes she wished she had the black heart of a murderer, because then she would kill them both.
Phil Saunders.
And the other one!
He watched her bathe, his avaricious eyes following every small, perfect curve of her body. He noted the bruises still covering her back and smiled. She was his woman, and every man should know it.
The bruises were his mark, his brand; delivered with passion.
Preening himself, he went to the kitchen where he made tea and afterwards sat sipping it with great delicacy, like some dear old woman savouring the flavour; though he was savouring not the flavour, but the act about to be perfomed by Judy. An act of vengeance to rid him of Harry Blake once and forever.
As always, Judy took her time bathing. She let the water go cold then she filled the tub again, with water as hot as she could stand it. She soaped and scrubbed every inch of her body with a kind of fever, desperate to rid herself of his smell, his touch, in every crease and crevice he had caressed.
She could hear him downstairs in the kitchen chuntering to himself, sometimes laughing, sometimes cursing. ‘You’ll never know what’s hit you, Harry Boy!’ he addressed some unseen figure. ‘This is my day; my woman! And it’s the end of your dreams. You’re done, Harry, my old friend, d’you hear me? What makes it all the better is that it’s your old sweetheart who’s teaching you the lesson you so badly need. I don’t even have to lift a finger. Oh yes! You’re done, all right. Once and for all!’
Raising his dainty cup to his mouth, he took a good long sip.
Afterwards, his laughter echoed through the house – hard and manic, like the man himself.
Judy took a while to do as he instructed, and when she finally emerged, her pretty face looking more beautiful than he could ever remember, Phil Saunders was taken aback. ‘Gawd Almighty!’ He gawped her up and down. ‘Judy Saunders, my angel, you look like a million dollars.’
Then his mood changed and he became black with anger. ‘Why do you never take that kind o’ trouble for me, eh? What the devil are you playing at?’
Judy stood her ground, secure in the knowledge that if he wanted her to do what had been asked of her, she had to leave this house looking the best she had ever looked. ‘You said to doll myself up, didn’t you?’
‘Well, yeah, but I mean … look at you!’ His eyes were popping out of his head. In the black dress with the sweetheart neckline and those pink shoes with the black bow, she looked like a film star. Her fair hair shone like spun silk, falling in waves about her face and neck, and her grey eyes shone like a child’s, clear and innocent. ‘I’ve never seen you like this before.’
The questions poured out. ‘How much did that bloody dress cost, and where did you learn to do your hair like that? Oh, and the make-up … the shoes. Where did you get the money to pay for all that?’
Judy calmly explained, ‘The shoes and dress have been in the wardrobe ever since we got married. I never wore them because the only place you ever took me to was the pub. I did my hair myself, and the make-up I copied out of a magazine I found in a neighbour’s rubbish bin. So you see, I didn’t have to spend one single penny.’
He had no answer for that.
Instead he pushed past her and went into the bedroom, where he opened a drawer and reached inside. When he came back out, he kept his hands behind his back. ‘Close your eyes,’ he ordered.
‘Why?’ Again she was not afraid; he would not hurt her now. He needed her to look good for the awful thing she had to do.
‘Stop asking damned questions, and close your eyes!’
Judy closed her eyes. When she felt his breath on her shoulder, she began to object, thinking he wanted to take her again. ‘No, we can’t,’ she said, cringing in disgust. ‘I’ll be all messed up, and then—’
‘Shut your mouth and keep your eyes closed.’
He struck her from behind, and she spun round, horrified when he brandished a handgun in her face. ‘Oh, my God!’ She had never actually seen a gun before, but there was no mistaking it. ‘What d’you think you’re doing? Where did you get it?’ She backed off; believing this was some kind of crazy game, devised by his warped mind. ‘Put the gun away, Phil.’ She spoke softly. ‘Put it away, please … before you kill somebody.’ In a rush of madness, she hoped it would be her.
‘Shut up and sit down!’ he told her, and she did.
Waving the gun in her face, he then stroked the barrel down her neck, laughing hideously when she flinched.
‘If you mean to kill me, then do it!’ she screamed. ‘GO ON! DO IT, I DON’T CARE!’ At least if he shot her dead she would not have to carry out his wicked plan on Harry.
‘Oh dear me, is that what you think?’ he asked with big innocent eyes. ‘You think I’ve got you all dolled up like that so’s I can shoot you dead? Oh no, my little sweet, this is insurance, in case you chicken out on my scheme to be rid of Blake. So, if you’re thinking of backing out, I’ve got this little number to finish him off. I’ll tell the police you did it … that you shot him because he was worrying the life out of you.’
He rolled his eyes in frustration. ‘Oh, silly me, I forgot. Yes, I’ll tell them you shot him in self-defence, and then you shot yourself. Oh, they’ll believe me. Make no mistake about that.’
He bent to whisper softly in her ear. ‘Y’see, my pretty, if you don’t do what I ask, that tells me you still have feelings for him. It means you lied to me all along. It means you’ve been seeing him, and that he’s touched you.’
Straightening up, he concluded, ‘It means you are soiled goods, and I would rather see you dead alongside him, than touch you again.’
Judy had no doubts but that he would carry out his threat. ‘Where did you get the gun?’ she wanted to know.
He tapped his nose. ‘That’s for me to know and you to find out,’ he said cunningly. ‘You forget, I know the right people. They’re always about … hiding in the dark with the rats and rubbish. I could have had Blake put away a millon times over, but I didn’t want to do that. D’you know why? Because I’d be far more satisfied if it was you that got rid of him. That way, I know you really don’t care for him; or that you do, but you’re prepared to sacrifice him for me.’ He grinned. ‘I like that idea. It makes me feel good.’
All the time he was speaking, he waved the gun about, first at himself then at Judy, and now he was holding it straight at her head, looking down the sights at the fear in her eyes.
‘Put the gun away, Phil, please?’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘Then I won’t do what you asked.’
‘Ah, but you weren’t listening, were you? I said if you chicken out, I’ve got to finish the job myself, and I won’t be too merciful.’
He pointed the gun at her legs. ‘First I’ll shoot him in the knees.’ He raised the gun to her middle. ‘Then in the guts … oh, you’d be amazed – blood everywhere!’
Now he was aiming at her head. ‘It will be a terrible way to go,’ he warned. ‘More painful than you could ever imagine.’
He came closer, stooping to her level until he was eyeball to eyeball with her. ‘First I’d make him scream for mercy. Then you. But there’s no need for all that. Not when you could be rid of him easily and quietly. So, you will do it, won’t you?’
She nodded. ‘I’ll do it – not for me, but for him.’ She looked her husband hard in the face. ‘But I’ll never forgive you, not as long as I live.’
He laughed. ‘Am I supposed to worry about that?’ he sneered. ‘I’ve always known you didn’t love me … not like you loved him. But it doesn’t matter, does it, because I’m the one who put the ring on your finger, I’m the one who snuggles up to you in bed, and I’m the one who makes sure you never stray far away.’
He seemed to tremble with excitement. ‘And it’ll be me, who one day will bury you deep, bring you flowers and cry over your grave. You see how it is, my sweet. You are my property, and that’s the truth of it.’
When she made no comment, he merely smiled. ‘You look good enough to eat,’ he said, ogling her. ‘I like the fact that you’ve taken a great deal of trouble with yourself, even if it is to please another man.’ He giggled. ‘You’re like a delicious sweet; we offer it to him, and then we snatch it away. Yes, I like that.’ Chucking her under the chin, he bent forward as though to kiss her, then turned smartly about and walked away.
He pointed at the clock. ‘Ten minutes past eleven already. My, how time does fly.’ Spinning about, he ordered her, ‘Get your coat on. Time to go!’
A few moments later they were on their way towards Bedford centre, then on to Jacobs’ Emporium, where Harry was busy clearing his desk, ready for when Len got back and they would begin their rounds.
‘What time did Len say he’d be back?’ Harry stopped Amy as she whizzed past his desk.
Amy looked up at the big wall-clock; it was eleven-thirty. ‘He won’t be back now until the afternoon,’ she informed him. ‘He said if he wasn’t back in the store by eleven-thirty, he wouldn’t be back until half one.’
‘He didn’t tell me that. He said to be ready for half past eleven, that we had more customers to sign on.’
‘My fault,’ Amy informed him sheepishly. ‘He asked me to let you know and I completely forgot. Jakey wanted me to go into town for some—’
Harry stopped her. ‘Don’t worry, it’s okay.’ He looked at his clean desk and groaned. ‘Because I thought I’d be going out on the rounds, I’ve filed everything away. I don’t really want to be hanging about for an hour and a half, waiting for Len to turn up.’
He had an idea. ‘I might as well start the round on my own. I know all the established customers, so I’ll call on them. We can sign up the new ones, after Len catches up with me.’
Amy tried to discourage him. She was adamant. ‘He would not thank you for it. You know what he’s like if anyone trespasses on his territory.’ She went away chuckling. ‘He wouldn’t want you moving in on any of his special ladies, now would he?’
‘Behave yourself!’ Harry was keeping an eye on Len for that very reason, but Amy seemed to know all about it.
‘Take an early lunch,’ she suggested.
‘I’m not all that hungry.’ Kathleen was very generous with her fried breakfasts. ‘I can either open the files and get my paperwork out again, or I could give the warehousemen a hand, shifting that new load.’ He patted his stomach. ‘I could do with the exercise.’
‘Ah, but then Mr Jacobs wouldn’t like that,’ Amy informed him. ‘He has this policy, each man trained to excel in his own job, and no swapping over.’
‘You’re a killjoy, you know that?’
‘And you should go for lunch. By the time you get back, Len will be here.’
Harry was still contemplating what to do, as Phil Saunders drew up at the end of the street. ‘Right! Make sure you do it proper.’ He watched Judy climb out of the car. ‘Don’t let me down.’ He opened the glove compartment to give her a sight of the gun. ‘I meant what I said.’
Judy nodded. She knew he would not hesitate at murder if necessary.
Saunders watched her walk down the street. He saw her pause at the entrance to the store, and breathed a sigh of relief when she walked inside. He smiled. ‘Good girl!’
He waited a moment, then drove slowly by; thrilled to see how she was actually inside the store and heading towards the desk. ‘She’ll do it,’ he gloated. ‘She knows what will happen if she doesn’t.’
Amy saw her first. Having brought Harry a cup of tea, she put it down on his desk, and looked towards the entrance, at the young woman coming their way. She recognised her as the same young woman who had stood at the back of the store that day, talking to Harry’s friend Kathleen. Today, however, there was something different about her. The last time she was here, she had been quite plain in her appearance. Now, she seemed to be dressed for some special occasion.
‘You make a great cup of tea, Amy, I’ll give you that,’ Harry said. Noting the expression on her face, he turned to see who or what had caught her interest.
He saw the young woman standing halfway down the store, just standing there, looking straight ahead, almost like someone in a dream.
‘Judy?’ Her name fell from his lips like something precious. Was it really her?
When she looked straight at him, with that familiar, wistful smile, he got out of his chair, his heart beating like a crazy thing. ‘Judy!’ The mere act of saying her name gave him comfort.
Looking on, from one to the other, Amy was in no doubt but that these two were deeply in love. It shone from their faces, lit up their eyes, and she could sense the powerful link, a force-field between them. ‘There’s that couple looking at the carpets,’ she muttered, backing away. ‘I think they were wanting some advice …’
Approaching Judy, Harry cleared his throat nervously. ‘You look lovelier than ever,’ he said shyly. ‘I really didn’t think to see you again so soon.’
For a moment Judy looked up at him, drinking in his features, and blossoming in the aura of his tall, confident stance. Oh, how she loved him, had always loved him and would for ever.
She forgot why she was there. She wanted to throw her arms around him and ask him to take her away from this dark place.
Yet she knew what would happen if she did that.
What became of her was of no consequence; in fact, it might be a mercy if Phil were to kill her. Harry though had done nothing to merit such a fate – and what of his child, already without a mother? Little Tom would suffer the same fate as his daddy all over again: he would be orphaned. Judy could not let that happen.
Then there was Kathleen to consider. It would destroy that old dear friend, if Harry’s life was snuffed out by a madman like Phil Saunders.
‘I think we should talk,’ she suggested softly, ‘… but not here. Somewhere quiet, just the two of us.’
Harry agreed readily. ‘That would be wonderful. I’ll go and tell Amy.’ He smiled. ‘She’s already been nagging at me to take my lunch break.’
Judy watched him walk up to the desk; she saw the quick exchange between him and Amy, with Amy occasionally peeking at her, and the shame of her errand made her feel like a Judas.
In a minute he was back, sliding his arm in hers, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. For Judy it was something she had longed for.
Leading her to the entrance, he beamed down on her and gently squeezed her hand. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘We do need to talk. There so much I want to ask you … if that’s all right?’
Judy told him it was, though as they came out of the store, her heart sank, for there was Phil, parked at the corner, watching every move she made.
Alarmed, she quickly looked away, allowing Harry to lead her down the street and round the corner, where they emerged into the High Street. ‘So, where did you want to go?’ he asked. ‘There’s the River Hotel; I’m told they have a great restaurant.’ He felt like a kid on his first date, hardly able to believe that Judy had actually come looking for him. ‘I’m sure they’ll find us a table,’ he speculated.
Judy graciously declined; she wasn’t used to fancy places and she had an idea that neither was Harry. ‘I’d rather go to that little café just up by the Boulevard.’
Harry was happy with that, as he pinched himself into believing he was really holding Judy, and they were actually going on a date – well, a kind of date.
It was then that he began to wonder. Why had she come to the store? What did she want to talk about, and why was she dressed to kill?
Somehow, it was not like her, and if his instincts were true, she was in a strange mood. As they made their way to the café, she kept looking back, then quickening her step, and when suddenly she lapsed into a deep silence, his curiosity was greatly heightened.
But then he thought she might be nervous, just as he was. After all, it had been many a long year since he and Judy had walked down the street together, and it was just amazing!
The café Judy had chosen was the very same where she and Kathleen had met, and when the waitress showed them to the table, it was also the very same where she had sat and lied to her dear old friend. How fitting to the occasion, Judy thought cynically.
They placed their order – ham sandwiches and a pot of tea for two – and while the waitress was dealing with that, Harry concentrated on Judy. By now, he could tell there was something very wrong. ‘What is it, my love?’ he asked tenderly. ‘What’s wrong?’
For a moment she said nothing. Instead she toyed with the end of the tablecloth, before looking up with a bright smile. ‘What makes you think there’s something wrong?’ she asked in a brittle voice.
‘I don’t know … it’s just that you seem so nervous. I’m not sure what to think.’ He asked her outright: ‘Why did you come to the store, looking for me? What is it you need to talk about?’
Peering out of the window, she saw Phil’s car parked across the street, and she knew that time was running out.
Her soft grey eyes swept over Harry, as she etched his face into her mind for all time; that strong face full of character and goodness, and her love was tenfold. ‘Will you do something for me?’ she whispered.
‘Anything.’ He struggled to understand; he knew she was troubled. ‘What is it you want me to do?’
Judy leaned forward. ‘Kiss me!’
‘What?’ Excitement rippled through his senses.
‘Kiss me,’ she urged, ‘like you used to when we were sweethearts.’
Reaching up to place his hands either side of her face, he leaned to her and smiled; a moment just to be sure, then he covered her soft lips with his, and kissed her long and tenderly, his senses in chaos.
As he reluctantly drew back, the waitress returned with their order, which she placed before them. ‘I hope you like chutney on your ham,’ she remarked, ‘because that’s how we make the sandwiches.’
There were a few awkward moments when they pretended to eat their food and talk of days gone by, until Harry asked quietly, ‘Can I kiss you again?’ He was disappointed when Judy answered, ‘Best not.’
Embarrassed and confused, Harry chatted on, ‘So much has happened over the years, but I never forgot you. I got married, to a wonderful woman called Sara. Right from the first I told her about you, and she understood. After she died, someone else told me how we can love in so many different ways, but we never forget that special love – the kind you and I had.’
Stretching out his two hands, he cupped her slender fingers in his. ‘I loved Sara from that first day, but you were always there … my special love. She knew that, and as I said, she understood.’
Judy envied her. ‘She must have been a wonderful person.’
‘She was. She did not deserve to suffer as she did, and then to leave us.’ Swallowing back the tears, he asked Judy again: ‘What was it you wanted to talk about?’ He had been amazed when she asked him to kiss her and hardly dared to go on: ‘Is it about you and me? Is there a chance we might get back together?’
When she looked down, he feared he might have gone too far too soon. ‘I’m sorry. Forgive me if I’ve overstepped the mark.’
There were so many pertinent questions he had to ask. ‘Are you happy with Phil, Judy? Does he take care of you? Does he treat you right?’
For one agonising moment she was tempted to tell him the truth; that Phil was a maniac, that he beat her into submission and made her life a living hell. She wanted to tell Harry how she had often thought to take her life, because of Phil; and that she missed Harry, every waking minute.
She wanted to scream from the rooftops that she was here to do something she wished with all her heart she did not have to do, but that if she did not do it, Harry would be murdered, and so would she, but that she cared nothing for herself. She cared only for Harry, and the son who would be orphaned.
Sensing danger, she looked towards the door; there was no one there. Then she glanced into the far corner of the café, and there he was; Phil Saunders, dark and shadowy, like evil itself.
She saw him take the gun from his pocket and lay it on his leg, where only she could see it.
Judy knew the message he was sending, and she was so afraid, she could hardly breathe.
Seeing that gun had galvanised her intent. She thought of Harry and his son, and she decided that it would be better for Harry to have his heart broken than to be murdered.
‘Judy?’ Harry gently brought her to her senses. ‘You didn’t answer me.’
‘Phil takes great care of me,’ she lied, averting her gaze. ‘He makes sure I never go without, and in spite of his reputation, he’s so tender and loving.’ She made a supreme effort at a happy smile. ‘We love each other so much, Harry. I’m such a lucky woman to have a man like Phil.’
Harry was struck to the heart. After that soul-kiss, he had not expected this. He was devastated, yet at the same time relieved that his darling Judy was not being ill-treated.
‘It seems as though he’s changed then?’ he said rather shakily. He swallowed hard. ‘I’m pleased, really I am.’ He gave a half-smile, but felt physically sick. ‘When I saw you at the store just now, I imagined all kinds of things – that he was beating you, that he was taking it out on you because of me. I don’t blame him for threatening me at the store. He must have thought I was chasing after you, that I wanted you back.’ The words spilled out, but what he really wanted to say, remained unsaid.
Judy leaned forward, her voice so quiet it was almost inaudible. ‘And do you, Harry? Do you want me back?’
Harry looked into her dove-grey eyes and for one incredible, wonderful moment, he was lost. ‘I won’t lie,’ he whispered. ‘I still love you. To have you back would complete my life.’
Mortified, he then backed away. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I should never have said that. I was wrong even to think it. I let my love for you colour my judgement. I badly misjudged Phil Saunders. I listened to gossip and I wanted to believe it. I’m sorry.’
Judy choked back the emotion. ‘Please don’t be sorry.’ Out of the corner of her eye she saw Phil Saunders; he was here to remind her of a purpose – one which she must carry out or face the consequences.
Turning her attention to Harry, she raised her voice. ‘To tell you the truth, I’ve never forgiven you, Harry. You left me when I desperately needed you. My life was ruined for a long time because of you. When Phil found me, I was living on the streets, caring for nothing and no one, not even bothered if I lived or died.’
She was out of the chair now, hands spread on the table and shouting at him. ‘You did that to me, Harry! I will never forgive you for running away like you did.’
Harry was shocked to his roots. One minute she was soft and gentle, the Judy he knew, and now she was behaving more like Phil Saunders! ‘What the hell is wrong with you, Judy?’ he appealed to her. ‘Have you forgotten the truth of what happened back then? It wasn’t like you just said, and you know it.’
Aware that the waitress was watching, he tried to persuade Judy to sit down, so they could discuss this calmly and quietly, like civilised people, but she would have none of it, and so he reminded her again. ‘You deceived me, Judy. You let me believe something that wasn’t true; something that could so easily have had me sent to jail, but it wasn’t just that. It was you, and the way you lied – that’s what I couldn’t live with.’ He remembered how it had been; he recalled how Judy was at the time. ‘You were behaving strangely,’ he recalled ‘much as you’re behaving now. It was as if something had happened to change you. What was it, Judy, because it certainly wasn’t me!’
‘Hah! Now you’re trying to shift the blame. It was you who ran off, you who deserted me.’ She deliberately kept her voice loud.
‘No, Judy, you were different. There was something, and you wouldn’t even talk to me about it. Then you lied, and not long after that, you dropped the bombshell. I left because you lied to me. You were even prepared to see me jailed.’ He shook his head. ‘What kind of love is that? You didn’t love me then, and you don’t love me now, so tell me, Judy … what game are you playing?’
‘Enough, Harry!’ She had to stop him there, before he revealed too much. She had never told Phil Saunders about there having been a child, when Harry left. If Phil knew that, it would be yet another stick to beat her with. ‘Why did you come back here?’ she deliberately taunted him. ‘Yes, you’re right – I never did love you. I used you, that’s all. Now I wish I had never clapped eyes on you. I never want to see you again. I want you out of my life, for good. Do you hear what I’m saying? Do you, Harry?’
The look of disbelief and pain on his face was tearing her apart. She had to end it quickly, before her resolve collapsed and she poured out the truth to him.
Stunned by her cruel outburst, Harry could only wonder if she had lost her mind.
She insisted, ‘I need to hear you say it, Harry Blake! I need you to tell me that you will never bother me again.’
He took a moment, then ‘If that’s what you want,’ he replied firmly. ‘You have my word, you will never see or hear from me again.’ He was broken by her admission that she had never loved him.
That, above all else, had touched him deep.
‘I’m glad you’ve got the message!’ She spoke with conviction.
Throwing the chair back so hard that it fell over, she ran out of the café and away down the street, the tears blinding her as she ran. ‘I’m sorry … I didn’t want to hurt you like that. Forgive me! I love you, Harry! I didn’t know what else to do!’
Running into the alley, she threw herelf on the ground and sobbed until her heart might break.
A moment later he was there, filling the alley with his presence, praising her. ‘You did well.’ Saunders had delighted in her performance. ‘I never knew you could be so cruel,’ he said.
‘I’ve had a good master.’ Judy couldn’t even look at him. ‘Go away, Phil. Leave me be.’
‘Get up!’
She ignored him.
‘I said … GET UP!’
When she continued to ignore him, he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her up. ‘I’ve decided not to work today,’ he informed her as he marched her to the car. ‘You and me need to have a word. I heard snatches of you and him in there … some of which needs explaining. But not yet. It’s been such an exciting day, I’ve a thirst on me like an elephant. So, while I’m enjoying a few well-earned bevvies, you’ve got time to think about what was said in there, because when we get back, I’ll be asking questions.’ He turned to stare at her. ‘I’ll know if you’re telling me the truth.’
At the car he opened the door and threw her inside, slamming the door shut behind her.
Judy said nothing during the drive. Crippled inside by what she had done to Harry, she slowly came to realise how little her life meant, and that if she didn’t make a stand, it would go on getting ever smaller, until the day when she either ended it, or it was ended for her.
She could hear Phil Saunders laughing and talking beside her, and occasionally he would touch her knee, but she seemed far removed from it all. She felt different, as though she was changing inside.
Just now, when Harry had kissed her, it seemed to breathe life back into her sorry soul. That warm, familiar feel of his mouth on hers was a beautiful, strangely healing experience. And when he wrapped his strong, gentle hands around hers, she had felt a resurgence of the strength she believed she had lost for ever. It was still there! Tears of happiness welled in her eyes. The old Judy was still there!
For a fleeting moment she felt real joy and pride; something precious that she had not felt since a child – or maybe it was a sense of innocence. What had happened was not her fault. She promised herself now: the bad thing was not her fault. The feeling of relief from this powerful revelation was indescribable. It changed everything.
‘We’ll stop off at the Bedford Arms.’ His voice was invasive. ‘I feel like celebrating.’
Alan was outside sweeping the pavement. ‘Hello!’ Surprised to see them, he asked Phil, ‘Why aren’t you at work?’
Saunders was a practised liar. ‘Had a bit of a tummy bug,’ he answered, climbing out of the car. ‘Thought a pint might settle it.’
Alan swept the fallen leaves into a corner. ‘You’d best come inside then.’
Going straight to the bar, Saunders ordered two pints for himself. ‘Line ’em up,’ he told Alan. ‘The first one won’t touch the sides. Anyway, I reckon I’ll be here for a while … got things to celebrate.’ His laughter echoed through the snug. ‘It ain’t often you rid yourself of an enemy without even lifting a finger, is it, eh?’
Alan had long ago given up trying to understand this man. ‘If you say so,’ he replied. ‘Look, I’d best get back outside … finish my sweeping and keep an eye out. I could be had up for letting you drink out of hours. You do know that, don’t you?’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll not tell,’ Phil smirked. ‘That’d be like killing the golden goose.’ He glanced around. ‘Hey! Where’s Judy gone?’
‘Into the back for a cuppa with Pauline – talking women’s stuff, I expect.’
‘Hmm.’ Losing interest, Phil picked up his pint and tipped half of it down his throat. Licking his lips, he leaned his elbows on the bar and belched. ‘Bugger your cuppa. This is the life,’ he chuckled. ‘Beats working any day.’
Pauline was glad to see Judy. ‘Hiya, sunshine,’ she called as Judy came in. ‘So what’s going on then?’ She had been ironing for almost an hour when she saw the car drive up.
‘Why isn’t Phil at work?’ She was curious. ‘And where have you been, all done up like that?’ She observed the dirty marks and scuffs on Judy’s best dress. ‘You obviously went somewhere special, and then it all went wrong. So, how did your clothes get spoiled?’ She glanced at Judy’s feet and was shocked. ‘For pity’s sake, love, look! Your foot’s bleeding … and where’s your shoe?’
Horrified, she put the iron down and switched it off. ‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ She made a sour face. ‘What’s that bastard gone and done now, eh?’ You’d best tell me, Judy, or I swear I’ll go out there and raise holy hell!’
Judy had kept her composure up to now, but seeing Pauline’s genuine concern, she could hold out no longer. Her face crumpled and the tears she had tried so hard to keep back flowed down her face.
‘Help me, Pauline,’ she whispered brokenly. ‘Please help me.’ As two comforting arms held her tight, Judy sobbed like a child. ‘I had to do it,’ she kept saying. ‘I had to do it.’
‘Hey, come on, now.’ Pauline knelt on the floor beside her. ‘I can’t help you, sweetheart,’ she said tenderly, ‘not unless you tell me what’s on your mind.’
Judy looked into that kindly face and she knew she could trust her. ‘I did a bad thing today,’ she said. ‘I didn’t want to do it, but he made me.’
‘What did he make you do? Tell me!’ Pauline urged. ‘You must not be afraid of him any more. He’s sick in his mind, you must know that.’ She held Judy tight. ‘You’re such a sweet little thing. Somewhere you took a wrong turn. What happened to you, Judy? Why do you think so little of yourself? What in God’s name made you marry a man like that?’
Judy drew herself away, wanting to tell Pauline everything, but afraid to; always afraid. So many innocent people would be hurt. She didn’t want that. She never wanted that.
She forced herself to look back over her life, to when it all started; that downward slide into a trap that was designed by Phil Saunders.
When she was just a child she was happy and loved, and her life was perfect; until one day, when she was badly damaged by someone she trusted. Then her whole world fell apart. There was no more love. No more trust. There would never be again, from that day to this.
All the way back there, in her teenage years; that was the start of it all. And there was no one she dared tell.
Then Harry was there; Harry whom she so adored, and whom she deceived. She could not tell him the awful truth. So when she found out the consequences of that badness, she lied to Harry, and as he so rightly claimed, she risked him being sent to prison. For that, she would never forgive herself.
Having let the young woman sob herself quiet, Pauline offered, ‘Let’s get you cleaned up. Change into a pair of my shoes, since we’re the same size, and then we’ll go somewhere, just you and me.’
Taking hold of Judy’s shoulders, she gently pushed her back until they were face to face. Observing the tear-stained grey eyes, Pauline felt a surge of compassion.
‘Whatever it takes, I’ll help you put it right,’ she promised her. ‘Don’t be afraid.’
A short time later, Judy was washed and tidied up, and comfortable in Pauline’s black low-heeled shoes. ‘I can’t wear them tall things you favour,’ Pauline laughed when Judy shrank another inch. ‘Besides, I’m tall enough as it is.’
Interrupting their conversation, his voice slurred with booze, Saunders called from the bar. ‘What are you two doing in there? I’m ready for the off. Judy! We’re away now. Say goodbye to Pauline.’
The two women looked at each other. ‘Tell him no,’ Pauline advised. ‘Tell him I’m taking you out shopping or something.’
She was disappointed when Judy shook her head.
‘Oh, Judy! I thought we’d settled all that … you running at his every command.’ She confronted Judy. ‘I’m worried about you, love. I need you to confide in me, so’s we can put right whatever’s haunting you. I’m here to help you. Phil Saunders is a bully, and I’m so afraid he might hurt you badly one day. Listen to me, please, Judy. You don’t have to do anything he says. And you must not be afraid. It’s what he feeds on.’
Pauline was puzzled when Judy stared at her for what seemed an age; looking at her yet not looking at her, as though she was turning something over in her mind. ‘I have to go now,’ she said softly, almost to herself. ‘You mustn’t worry, Pauline.’
‘Judy! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? MUST I COME IN AND GET YOU?’ His voice grated on their conversation yet again.
Pauline yelled back, ‘You’d better not come barging in here, matey … not unless you want a frying-pan across your scrawny neck!’ she warned. ‘I’ll have you know, these are our private quarters!’
Judy slid her two arms round the older woman’s neck. ‘It’s all right,’ she whispered. ‘I promise, I won’t be afraid any more.’
Finally, after being trodden down by years of guilt and submission, that core of courage, once lost inside her, was beginning to re-emerge.
As he drove her to the home she had come to detest, she could hear Phil Saunders talking and swearing, and calling her all the filthy names he could lay his tongue to. She thought it strange, how he did not matter any more; she wasn’t even aware of what he was grumbling about. Nor did she notice the dangerous way he drove, swerving and speeding and almost knocking the teatime paper-boy off his bike.
All she could think of was the distraught look on Harry’s face when she said all those terrible things to him.
It made her realise how low she had sunk. It brought home to her just how much of a hold Saunders had got on her, and how he manipulated her, sometimes without her even knowing it.
How could he say he loved her, when he treated her like a dog, a whore, and a servant to be ordered here and there; doing things that pleased him; sending her on errands that not only made her as bad a liar as he was, but also degraded her sense of decency?
The more she thought about it, the more angry she got: a cold, hard anger that was born out of desperation, and a controlled loathing of this creature she had married.
This time though, Phil Saunders had gone too far. He had overstepped the line; belittled her, made her attack someone who had only ever loved her. Harry was a wonderful man whom she had used for her own purposes, and now she had used him again – because Phil Saunders had made her.
She thought about that. Phil had made her lie to Harry, made her hurt him and use him, just as she had done all those years before. Her act of treachery had sent Harry away then, and it would do the same again. If she let it!
Suddenly, she knew what she must do, and she would do it without any hesitation.
It was time for Saunders to pay the price.
Time and again, fight after fight, she had always lost to him; but not this time. This time, it was Saunders who had lost!
Her mind was made up. She felt an incredible sense of relief.
Whatever price she had to pay, she would pay it gladly.
There would be no turning back.
Amy was concerned. ‘Good grief! You look like death warmed up,’ she exclaimed as Harry returned to the store. ‘Are you ill, or what?’
‘No, I’m fine, Amy, thanks.’ But he was not fine. He was in shock; devastated by all those dreadful things Judy had said; things that weren’t even true. Judy knew how it had been, yet she shifted all the blame onto him. How could she do that?
He had a feeling there was more to it than met the eye. Judy had been different somehow. She was all right one minute, and then she seemed to go crazy. He had nearly gone after her, but decided it would only make things worse. And anyway, more importantly, he had promised to leave her alone.
He cast his mind back. That’s exactly how it was back then, he recalled. We were talking, making plans, and then she went for me like a tiger, claws out, saying I’d taken advantage of her when she was only fourteen, and now her life was in tatters and she would never forgive me.
He had been deeply disturbed by her lies then, and now he had that same feeling. I always thought there was more to it than she would admit, he thought now. But what about today? Where had all that vicious anger come from? And why?
When Amy came back from the office, Harry quickly composed himself. ‘I was just wondering where Len had got to?’
Amy chuckled. ‘Wonder no longer, because he’s up in the office as we speak. He’ll be down in a minute and ready to go. Okay, Harry? Will that do you?’
‘Thanks, Amy.’ He returned her smile. ‘I’m ready to leave right now. I could do with blowing away the cobwebs.’
Amy worried about him. He was not the same Harry Blake who had left the store just a short time ago, smiling and chatting with that pretty blonde woman. She couldn’t help but wonder what had gone on between the two of them, to make him seem so down.
In no time at all, Harry and Len were on their way to the first call. ‘What a morning I’ve had!’ Len complained all the way. ‘Dealing with suppliers, pacifying creditors and extracting money from bad payers.’ Blowing his face out in a great sigh, he went on. ‘This is the part of the day I like best. Chatting to the ordinary customer on the ground … my ladies of the back streets.’ One in particular, he thought excitedly.
When Harry made no comment he asked in a mock grumpy voice, ‘Cat got your tongue? Somebody rattled your cage, have they?’
Harry gave no answer. This was between himself and Judy. It was not up for discussion.
When Len chose to start at the back end of his route, Harry was curious. ‘Why the change in routine?’
Len tapped his nose. ‘You’ll see soon enough,’ he told him slyly.
In order to complete the round as quickly as possible, they went off in separate directions. They had each visited several houses between them, before they met up again. ‘We might as well leave the car here,’ Len decided. ‘I’ve a very special call to make,’ he confided. ‘I’ll tell you all about it when we meet up afterwards.’
They were only a few yards from their next port of call down Jackson Street, when they heard the argument. ‘Oh, my.’ Len looked up at number 16. ‘That couple are at it again!’
There was a crash, like something heavy being thrown, and then a scream, and what sounded eerily like a gunshot, ‘Bloody hell!’ Len turned white. ‘Was that what I thought it was?’ Then he shrugged. ‘No, it couldn’t have been. It must have been a car backfiring … they sound like that, don’t they?’
Quickening his steps, he ushered Harry along with him. ‘Best make ourselves scarce,’ he muttered. ‘The last thing we need is to get caught up in that kinda trouble!’ Almost running, he physically dragged Harry down the street.
Suddenly, two incidents happened in quick succession. A van came hurtling round the corner, screeching on two wheels; at the same time the front door of number 16 was flung open and a woman came stumbling down the steps, a river of blood flowing down her face. She was crying, panic-stricken; hardly able to see as she set off across the road.
Both men saw instantly what was about to happen. It was only when Harry looked again at the woman that he began to realise, it was Judy. Harry began running back to her. ‘JUDY!’ There was a scream and a thud and the woman was thrown high into the air. ‘Oh my God!’ With his lungs almost bursting, Harry ran like the wind until he fell on his knees to take her in his arms, his voice shaking with terror. ‘Judy … Judy, look at me …’ Oh, dear God, NO! ‘I’ve got you, my love, I’ve got you!’ He yelled out, ‘Somebody get an ambulance!’
Grey with shock, Len assured him quietly, ‘Somebody’s already called them.’ A neighbour had seen it all. Len looked across to where the driver of the van had been thrown out of the vehicle. ‘I reckon he’s had it,’ he muttered. ‘The poor sod didn’t stand a chance.
After hitting Judy, the driver had been thrown out, and the careering van had trapped him against the house wall. Lolling across the mound of broken bricks and shattered metal, he looked like a discarded doll, head twisted and arms thrown forward.
While Len sat on the steps, head bent and his whole body trembling, Harry talked to Judy, telling her he loved her, promising how they would be all right. He would take care of her, he vowed. She couldn’t die, because there were so many things they had to do … a life they had to live.
He kissed her mouth, and he stroked her face, warm and sticky with blood. He rocked her in his arms, and still she made no move.
‘Where’s the ambulance! For God’s sake, Len! Why isn’t it here!’
‘It’s on its way,’ Len assured him again. ‘It’s on its way, mate.’ He glanced at Judy and wondered who she was, and how Harry came to know her. But it didn’t really matter anyway, because she was gone. Her and the driver both.
In that moment, the tallyman made a vow: he would never mess around with women again, but would stick to his long-suffering wife. No, Len thought, if this was what passion led to, he would do it strictly by the book in future.
Inside the house, Phil Saunders lay on the floor of the sitting room, his head against the fender, a trickle of blood spreading a pattern on the arm of his shirt; but he was not dead.
YOU CAN’T KILL EVIL.