I held my breath as I waited for her to reply. When she nodded, I thought I was going to pass out with relief.
I’d wondered what it would be like to kiss her for a year. I wondered about seeing her in my bed, too. I was about to get my wish. And all of a sudden, the moment got so much bigger in my head and I started to panic a little.
We made it to my room, and I spun to face her. She didn’t look anxious or unsure. She smiled at me, and all my nervousness dissipated like she lit it on fire. I leaned into her, spreading my hand wide on her back to touch as much of her as I could at once.
She showed me again why I was so enamored by her and took control. She tilted her head and licked into my mouth, groaning when my hands slid down to cup her butt. She arched against me, rubbing herself against my body and making me crazy with desire.
I needed her like I’d never needed a woman in my life. My first time, it was lust and desire and teenage hormones. Every other woman I’d been with was fueled by similar things. But with Goldie in my room, soon to be in my bed, it was so much more. All those things were there, but I wasn’t going to be done with her after tonight. I wasn’t going to be done with her ever. I wanted her in my life for good. I needed her in my life.
But I was smart enough to know I couldn’t admit that to her. Not now. Not anytime soon.
She guided us toward the bed and broke away from our kiss to reach for the edge of her top. She eased it up her body, holding my gaze until the shirt snapped our connection, and I let my gaze slide to the exposed skin.
She was stunning. Soft, creamy skin on display for me. A sexy, pink satin bra held her barely contained breasts up for me like they were on a platter and ready for me to feast. She moved her arms to cover her belly, but I grabbed them and held them apart while I dropped to my knees.
I kissed the softness of her belly, licking and sucking her flesh. Worshipping her and trying to tell her without words how much I wanted her. I loved her body. The curves she tried to hide that turned me on so much I nearly swallowed my tongue on a daily basis. But tonight… tonight I could touch and taste and tease her. I could have my way with her. I was allowed, and I wasn’t going to waste a second.
Her hands eased into my hair, tugging me back so she could meet my gaze. Her lids were heavy with lust but sparkling with desire. I licked her belly button while she watched me, her lips parting with pleasure.
“I want to taste every inch of you, Goldie,” I confessed softly.
“Please.”
She didn’t need to ask. I unzipped her crops and eased them down her legs. She widened her feet so her pants would slip between her thighs. I slid a hand up her thighs once her crops were on the floor. She trembled at my touch.
I kissed the edge of her pink panties. I ran my tongue over her skin, pressing her thighs apart with my hands. Her breath shook as she inhaled.
“Patrick.”
I didn’t answer, choosing to put my lips on her instead. I inhaled deep, drawing the scent of her desire inside me. I licked her through her panties, making her moan. Her hips shifted with my movements, then she whimpered.
“Please.”
I hooked my fingers around the edges of her panties and slid them from between us, letting my tongue hit her skin the second the air did. She gasped and bucked and moaned.
She kicked her pants and panties away. I pressed her thighs wider and licked her. She backed away from me, which made me panic for a second, then she sat on the edge of my bed.
“I don’t think I can stand while you do that.”
“I don’t think I can stand it if you tell me to stop.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t stop.”
I smiled and crawled over to her. She watched me, her eyes widening. I was so hard I was barely contained in my shorts. I might not last long enough to get inside her, but it would be the most satisfying orgasm of my life if I got to come with my lips on this woman.
She unhooked her bra and tossed it aside as I pressed her thighs wide. There was already a wet spot on my bed. More come leaked from inside her. I leaned forward and licked it up, pressing my tongue into her entrance.
She sighed heavily, her body shaking with the release. I looked up over her belly and saw her hands cupping her breasts. Jesus. I hardened even more. I was going to hurt myself.
I kept my tongue on her while I freed myself from my shorts. Zipper down but boxer briefs on, my cock could breathe. Then I went back to what I wanted to be doing. Making my woman crazy.
I licked through her folds, her hair tickling my face as I did. I loved that she didn’t change for me. That she let me see the real her. I wouldn’t have cared if she shaved or waxed, but seeing her natural was a huge turn-on. She was real, and she was letting me in.
Her clit was plump and sensitive when I ran over it with my tongue. She jumped at the contact, squeezing her nipples hard and tugging her breasts up. I wanted to make it last for her, but I was an impatient, selfish asshole who needed to see her come. I lashed at her clit relentlessly, watching her play with her breasts the entire time. She pulled her nipples and swung her breasts, letting them bounce with every flick of my tongue.
Before she came, I thrust a finger deep into her. That was all it took for her to lose her control and fall. She clamped down around my finger and fucked my face. Her breasts were pulled tight, and her face twisted in perfect agony. She moaned loudly, like it surprised her and delighted her at the same time.
I didn’t let her go with just one. Her channel rippled around my finger, so I added a second one to stretch her out and kept going. It wasn’t long before she was panting and begging me to make her come again.
I fucked her hard with my fingers, slamming them in deep. I sucked her clit. My body fought me, trying to let my release arrive with hers, but I forced back the need to come and focused on Goldie until she let go.
“Patrick!” she screamed.
Fucking hell, my name on her lips made me crazy. As she lost her mind, I lost my sanity. I grabbed her hand and put it between her thighs so she could tease herself a bit more. I yanked my clothes off as quickly as I could and grabbed a condom from the new box I put in my nightstand earlier that day. Thank God I had the foresight to open the box. I rolled the condom on and moved back to her, only to realize she was watching me.
“I need you,” she whimpered.
Her fingers pinched her clit, her channel dripping. One hand was still on her breast, stroking over her nipple.
“I’m sorry, but this is going to be over far too quickly. You’re so much better than every fantasy I’ve ever had about you.”
“You’ve fantasized about me?” She sounded surprised, like she didn’t think this was a big deal for me.
“Fuck yes, Goldie. So many, many times. I never thought I’d see you in my bed, ready and waiting for me after two orgasms.”
She breathed a laugh and licked her lips. “And now that I am, what are you going to do with me?”
My cock swelled at her teasing words. “Fucking hell. I need you.” I moved toward her, not giving her a chance to respond before I slammed into her body.
She moaned and wrapped her legs around me, her back arching. “Oh, God, yes. Touch me while you fuck me. Please.”
I pressed my thumb to her clit, wanting to feel her come on my dick. I was already close after watching her, and I knew feeling her would send me right over the fucking edge, but I needed it.
“Boobs. Grab your boobs,” I grunted.
She cupped them again, rolling her nipples between her finger and thumb. She moaned and thrust against me. “Oh, God.”
I fucked her harder, faster. I was losing control, but she was right there with me. She rippled around me as our bodies slammed together. My thumb slid over her come-slick clit. Her hair stuck to her neck and her eyes fell closed. I watched her, memorizing every second of it. I would remember the moment forever, watching her fall apart with me inside her for the first time.
She tensed, flopping with my movements as I fucked her. Then she came, her core sucking me in as her legs fought to push me out. She yanked her boobs hard, her nails biting into her nipples.
And I was right there with her, the release making me dizzy after holding back for so long. I shouted her name, erupting inside her and wondering how I was ever going to be the same again.
She twitched around me as we both struggled to breathe. Her lips curled up in a grin before her eyes opened. “That was amazing.”
I huffed a laugh. “Agreed.”
We shared a secret smile as our bodies tried to figure out how to function again. My dick was still hard and ready for another go, but she squirmed and I knew she needed to get up.
I took a step back and helped her to her feet. Before she could hurry to the bathroom, I pulled her naked body against mine and kissed her hard. I missed having my lips on hers. She returned my kiss eagerly, panting again when we finally stepped apart.
She smiled and moved around me toward the bathroom. She closed the door between us, and I snapped out of the spell I was in.
I just had sex with Goldie Spear. I just made the woman I love scream my name. I just came inside her. Holy fuck.
And I was ready to do it all again. But I knew the night was almost over. Dinner was gone, and she needed to get home before too much longer. I checked the clock. Yep. Already after nine.
The toilet flushed, and water ran in the sink. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I trashed the condom in the kitchen, then pulled on my shorts.
She walked out of the bathroom and looked around. She spotted me in the kitchen and smiled. “I should probably go.”
I nodded. “I figured you’d need to when I saw the time. Get dressed while I pack up dessert.”
“There’s dessert?”
“Of course there’s dessert. Besides you, I mean.”
Her cheeks darkened. The flush spread down her neck and across her breasts. My dick rose at the sight.
“Down boy,” I hissed.
Goldie didn’t hear me and returned to my room. She bent to pick up her clothes, and I almost came right then. Next time, I needed her like that. Fucking hell. Next time I needed a lifetime. But I was going to take what I could get from her.
I opened the fridge and pulled out the strawberry cream pie I bought from Cove Bakery that afternoon. Valentina was there and gave me a knowing grin when she handed over the pie. I didn’t tell her a thing, but she knew who I bought it for. She probably even knew strawberries were Goldie’s favorite fruit.
“That looks amazing,” Goldie breathed from right next to me.
I nodded. “Valentina made it. I know you love strawberries.”
“I do,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
I handed over the entire thing.
“Don’t you want some?”
I shook my head. “I get much more enjoyment out of it knowing you will love it. Does Paul like strawberries, too?”
She grinned. “He does. He’ll love this. But I feel guilty.”
“Why would you feel guilty? I bought that because I knew you’d like it.”
“But you aren’t going to eat any?”
I pulled her close and licked the shell of her ear. “I already had my dessert. And it was delicious.”
She shivered against me. “You are really good at that.”
“At what?”
“At making me feel like I’m the only woman in the world you want.”
“You are,” I admitted.
She pulled back and smiled sadly. “Thank you. And thank you for the pie. I think I still owe you a date.”
“And I’ll be happy to let you take me out any time.”
“Thursday, right?”
I nodded, more than a little happy she remembered. “I can’t wait.”
She studied me for a long moment, then said, “Neither can I.”
I kissed her once more at the door, only stopping when she almost dropped the pie. We said goodnight, and I watched until she was down the stairs and out of sight before I closed the door.
I smiled while I cleaned up the kitchen and as I slid into bed that night. It still smelled like her. It was the best kind of torture.
Thursday morning I got a text from my mom asking if I would meet her at Just Tacos for lunch. Before I left, I checked in with Goldie and let her know where I was going. She said to have fun and that she brought lunch when I asked if she wanted me to bring her back something.
Goldie and I hadn’t spoken much since our date, but the secret glances were enough for me right now. I still struggled with not telling our coworkers about us, but I was respecting her decision and keeping it to myself.
Mom wasn’t there yet when I arrived, so I ordered for us and grabbed a table in the quickly filling restaurant. She got there just as they called my name.
“Stay at the table while I pick up the food,” I told her as I kissed her cheek and rushed past her.
I set the tray down and went back to get our drinks. When I finally returned, Mom had figured out what food was hers and had things laid out for us. “I didn’t mean for you to buy my lunch,” she said.
I shook my head. “It’s the least I can do. How are you?”
She shrugged. “I’m okay, I guess.”
My neck tingled. “What’s wrong?”
“I turned Dick down.”
“You did?” I tried not to grin.
“I did.”
“Why? I thought you really liked him.” Something about this felt off.
“I love him, but if I’m going to marry him, he needs to fit into the family.”
“You don’t think he does either. I’m sorry, Mom. I hoped he would, but he’s just a big personality.”
She nodded and nibbled at the edge of her taco. “That’s why I said yes to dating him in the first place. He asked me out so many times, but I wasn’t sure. But he never gave up. A different man would have.”
“You have a right to say no,” I defended her.
“I do. But I was scared. I haven’t dated much since your father died. I didn’t really know Dick, but when he didn’t turn his nose up at my refusal and instead stuck around and got to know me, I knew he was different.”
I didn’t like the tone of her voice. I also didn’t like the way her words made me feel. Dick was the enemy. He was the guy who swept in and tried to change her. He wasn’t the hero.
“Persistence isn’t a reason to marry someone,” I argued.
“No, it’s definitely not. But he wasn’t like that in a nasty way. He was just sure he wanted to be with me. He told me he was falling in love with me while we were becoming friends. When we finally went on our first date, it was like we’d been together forever.”
“What about Dad?”
She reached across the table and patted my hand. “He would have wanted all of us to be happy. We talked about it before he died. It was purely hypothetical, but he said he wanted me to date again if something ever happened to him. After he died, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t imagine anyone else ever making me feel the way he did. But Dick has a lot of the same qualities as your father.”
“Like what?” I scoffed. I couldn’t see it. I didn’t remember my dad that well, but I knew he was nothing like Dick.
“Dick loves Arthur’s kids the same way Dad loved you boys. He’d do anything for them. And he gets me out of my comfort zone. He makes me more confident and bold. Your father did the same thing, always complimenting me.”
“Okay, but there’s a lot more than just that.”
“Of course. It’s like your relationship with Goldie. It’s a feeling that starts things, but eventually it grows to be more than that. It’s knowing that this person is someone you don’t want to spend your life without.”
“So, why did you say no?” I asked, my throat tightening.
She looked up at me and smiled sadly. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you, Patrick. I know you don’t like Dick. Arthur tolerates him a little better because the kids adore Dick, but you don’t like him at all. I couldn’t agree to marry him when I knew you boys would be so unhappy about it.”
“It’s your life, Mom,” I argued. My defenses rose, and I got angry. “You can’t blame me for your choices.”
“I’m not, sweetie. Not at all. I made my own decision.”
“Good. Then I guess I’m happy for you.”
She stared at me for a long moment. It was the look she would give me when I was a kid and she thought I was lying about something. The one that made me squirm in my seat and want to confess all my secrets, even when I didn’t have any.
“So, how are things going with Goldie?” she asked after a minute.
“Good,” I answered, happy to be on safer ground. “We have another date tonight.”
“That’s good news. Tell her I said hello. I think she’s good for you. Gets you out of your comfort zone a bit. I hope you’re good for her, too. You were persistent with her. I know that means she’s special to you.”
“She is,” I said, unsure why her words made me so uncomfortable. “She’s very special.”
“Then you need to do whatever you can to hold on to her. Make sure she knows how you feel. Don’t let her go. The special ones don’t come around all the time.”
I nodded. “You’re right. They don’t.”
Mom smiled and finished her tacos. We talked about Arthur and the kids. She worried about how to tell them about Dick not coming around anymore, and I assured her she’d find a way to explain it to them.
When we left, she hugged me a little tighter than usual and asked me to call her tomorrow to let her know how my date with Goldie went. I watched her drive away with a sick feeling in my stomach and a soul deep knowing that my mother was not okay.
And it was all my fault.