♫
‘She’s a big fan, aye?’ Granpa said.
‘Aye, she has all his songs on her laptop,’ I said. ‘She was playing him when we were having our lunch and she was loving it.’
‘That’s a turn-up for the books. Maybe she’s got some sense in her head, after aw.’
It was so simple. I told Granpa that Mrs MacLeod liked Elvis and all of a sudden he seemed to like her. The plan had worked exactly like me and Grace thought it would. I decided any time in the future, that if two people I knew didn’t like each other, I’d use that plan again. All I had to do was make them think they like the same thing and all the hate went away.
I went round for Grace to let her know the plan had worked. She answered the door as if she was a grown-up and it was her house.
‘Hiya Grace.’
‘Hiya.’
She said it kind of sulky.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.
‘Are you angry at me for not telling you I was going to Inverness?’ Grace said. ‘I said I was sorry.’
‘Naw. What are you on about?’
‘I didn’t lie to you, if that’s what you think.’
‘I dinnae think that. I never cared that much.’
I got the feeling Grace wasn’t going to let me into the house till I made her calm down.
‘Thomas told me you were asking him questions,’ she said. ‘Like what to do about knowing a liar. He told me you were asking because I had lied to you about something. I guessed it must be the Inverness thing because I couldn’t think of anything else.’
‘I was meaning Granpa was the liar. Not you. That’s Tom being an idiot.’
She took her sulky face off and was back to being normal Grace.
‘Oh. That makes sense. I was wondering why you’d think I was a liar.’
‘I’d never say that about you. You’re not annoyed with me anymore?’
She hugged me. Our hair got a bit tangled up but it pulled apart easily.
‘Nah,’ she answered. ‘Now I’m annoyed with Thomas. I’ll need to get him back.’
‘We can make a plan together. Our last one worked. Let’s not be mean though.’
We went inside and sat on the couch. The telly was on but I didn’t know the programme. Probably a fancy programme you only got on Sky.
‘Did you tell your granpa that my mum likes Elvis?’ asked Grace.
‘Aye, I was going to say. He believed it. He thinks your mum has sense now.’
‘My mum’s always had sense.’
‘I know, she’s a grown-up. You have to have sense to be a grown-up.’
‘Great, now there’s nothing to worry about for the ball. Except that you’ve not got your dress yet.’
Grace called it a dress and not a gown. I let her off with it. Everyone was allowed a wee mistake.
‘It’s fine,’ I said. ‘Iain says he knows a lady that can make me one.’
‘Made just for you?’
‘Aye.’
‘Like a celebrity?’
‘I suppose so. I’m not special like a celebrity though.’
‘There’s plenty of time for us to be celebrities when we grow up.’
‘Do you think being a famous pianist counts as being a celebrity?’
She put her finger on her chin while she thought about it.
‘I think so,’ she answered. ‘As long as you still dressed amazing. Anyway, Let’s get Tom back.’
We went up the stairs as quietly as we could. But when you’re trying to be quiet, that’s when it feels like everything is way louder than usual. That’s when you step on every creaky bit of the stairs, even when you never even noticed they were creaky before. I waited out in the hall and Grace went into Tom’s bedroom. I could hear everything they said.
‘I didn’t say you could come in,’ he said.
‘Thomas, the hospital just phoned,’ Grace said.
‘I didn’t hear the phone.’
‘I had the phone outside. They say you need another operation.’
‘No, they didn’t. They wouldn’t tell you that. That’s something they’d only say to Mum or Dad.’
‘They did, because they wanted you to know straight away. They say you need to wear your stookie until after Christmas.’
‘You’re lying. Mu-uum!’
He was shouting on Mrs MacLeod, but she wouldn’t hear him out in the garden.
‘You’re the liar, Thomas,’ Grace said. ‘You told me Mary was annoyed with me, but she wasn’t. You’re just a big stirrer.’
It wasn’t part of the plan for Grace to say that. She was meant to say they only had pink casts left at the hospital so he would need to wear a pink stookie till Christmas. That was what made the whole thing funny.
‘Well, she’s not happy with someone,’ Tom said. ‘And she’s always with you. I’m her friend now, by the way. I was trying to help her.’
Grace stormed out his bedroom and I followed her downstairs.
‘Sorry I forgot to say that bit about the pink stookie,’ she said. ‘I’m just so annoyed with him.’
‘I understand.’
I wasn’t annoyed with Tom but Grace was. Sometimes not all your friends got on with each other. I had forgotten how hard it could be having friends. The famous saying came into my head again. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Whoever wrote that, I knew exactly what they meant.
The next day, I came back from seeing Grace and there was a dress bag hanging from the hall door.
‘Ask and you shall receive,’ Iain said. ‘Your dress, m’lady.’
‘You don’t even know my size,’ I said.
‘Let me guess… size eight-year-old girl?’
‘Of course,’ Granpa said. ‘With the rate ye’re growing, it might no fit ye by the time the ball comes round.’
That was him being silly and saying an old person thing. The ball was less than a week away and I wasn’t going to grow that fast.
I pulled down the zip to see what the dress looked like. It was dark pink. It had lacy bits at the shoulder but it wasn’t sleeveless like a real grown-up dress. That was a wee bit disappointing, but I kept it to myself. You were never, ever to complain about things you got for free.
‘It’s amazing,’ I said. ‘Can I try it on now?’
‘Why no?’ Granpa said.
I grabbed the hanger and ran to my room. I was trailing the dress behind me like a bride. It was quite heavy because of the bag. but I managed it. When I went back through wearing it, Granpa and Iain were going over the top and being silly.
‘Oh my goodness,’ Granpa said, putting his hand on his forehead, like he was fainting.
‘You look fabulous, darling,’ Iain said. ‘Who are you wearing?’
‘I dinnae know,’ I said. ‘Granpa, who am I wearing?’
‘Miriam fae doon the road.’
We all laughed at that. On the red carpet at the Oscars, women had to say what famous designer had made their dress so people would be impressed. Miriam from down the road wasn’t famous, but I was still impressed.
‘This is all some palaver,’ Iain said. ‘All these kilts and dresses for one night. And you can’t even have a few beers, Mary.’
‘It’s not about the beers,’ I said.
‘Just you wait till you’re older,’ Iain smirked. ‘What’s it about then? The dancing?’
‘Naw, it’s about…’
It was about making sure Grace really did want to be best friends. Balls and dances, that was when you found out who your true friends were.
‘I cannae tell you what it’s about,’ I said.
‘Mary has a secret, does she?’ Granpa said. ‘Are ye meeting this boyfriend of yours on the dancefloor?’
‘Lewis isn’t my boyfriend. I don’t like him at all.’
‘It’s sort of like a forbidden romance, especially with Lewis’s dad thinking we pinched his lobster.’
‘I wouldnae ever go out with him.’
‘And why no?’
‘I’m not saying.’
‘Another secret.’
‘It’s not a secret.’
‘Tell us then.’
‘You’ll be angry.’
He looked over at Iain and smiled.
‘What could ye tell me about a wee boy that’ll make me angry?’ Granpa asked.
I decided to let one of my secrets slip.
‘He’s the one who egged the house.’
Granpa looked confused. Iain put his hands on my shoulders and walked me through to the living room. We all had a seat.
‘Talk me through this,’ Iain said. ‘You think Lewis did it?’
‘I think so,’ I said. ‘And his big brother. I accidentally threw their football in the sea so it makes sense that they’d want to get me back.’
‘Accidentally?’ Granpa said.
‘I chucked it in the air and it bounced and went in. I didnae mean it, not really.’
‘And is that the end of it?’ Iain asked. ‘No more eggs?’
‘That’s… probably it. I dinnae think they’re mad anymore.’
‘Mary, tell the truth,’ Granpa said. ‘He’s no been bullying ye or anything? Because I’ll go and have a chat with him right noo and he’ll no know what’s hit him.’
‘Please, Granpa, please dinnae hit him. We just dinnae like each other. I hardly ever see him. I dinnae even know for sure it was him that did it.’
‘What d’ye think, Iain?’
‘If it was a one off,’ Iain said. ‘No harm done, I suppose. But next time you see him, Mary, tell him I prefer my eggs scrambled.’
I wondered if Iain knew how bad his joke was or if he really thought he was funny.
Grace and me went to the Lump, again. The excitement of going there had worn off ages before that. But Grace always made up new games and tried to keep it fun. The only time I had decided where we should go, I ended up throwing a football in a stream. It was safer to let Grace choose.
Before we went up the tower, she told me to close my eyes and put my hands out. I did it because I knew she wouldn’t push me over or hit me. I felt something cold in my hands. I opened my eyes and it was a screwdriver.
‘My dad’s got loads of them,’ Grace said. ‘All different sizes. He’ll not miss it. He never even missed the one Thomas lost.’
‘I like the green handle,’ I said.
Green wasn’t as good as pink or purple, but it was still good. I couldn’t think of any colours I didn’t like. Orange was a good one. Brown could even be good on a nice, tall tree.
‘I thought you could write your name in the tower with it,’ Grace said.
‘As long as you think we willnae get in trouble.’
‘Me and Thomas have never, ever been in trouble. No one has. Look how many names are on here.’
She was right. There were hundreds of names scratched all over the inside. Nobody had been scared to write their name.
‘What if I write someone else’s name?’ I said. ‘Then no one will be sure it’s me.’
‘As long as you don’t put your second name,’ Grace said. ‘Then it could be any Mary.’
I decided to do it at the entrance, on the right hand side. Someone had written MAZ two times. Maybe folk would think me and the MAZ person were the same person and blame MAZ.
It was harder than I thought. I had to push the screwdriver in with all my might. My arms were sore after. The wall got a bit crumbly when I did the ‘y’ and it looked a bit like ‘Maru’ instead of ‘Mary’. That was okay. I knew it said Mary.
‘Will I do my name next to yours?’ Grace said.
‘Have you not done one already?’
‘I can do another one next to yours so everyone will know we’re best friends.’
That was the kind of thing Leona used to say.
‘Can you wait until after the ball?’ I asked.
‘Why?’
‘It’ll give us something to look forward to.’
‘Oh, okay.’
That wasn’t the real reason, but Grace believed me anyway.
Two people came up the hill. One of them was Craig. He was holding hands with Kelly, the lady who’d shouted at us at the hospital. I crouched down as soon as I saw them.
‘What are you doing, Mary?’ Grace said.
I put my finger on my lips. I hoped she knew the finger on the lips code. I tried to pull her down but she wouldn’t move.
‘Grace!’ I heard Kelly shout, ‘You up there yourself?’
‘Em,’ Grace said. ‘Yes. Hi again, Craig.’
‘Hiya, Grace,’ he said. ‘How’s your brother’s leg? Healed up yet? I heard he hasn’t budged from his bed in weeks.’
‘It’s not healed yet, no,’ said Grace. ‘What are you two doing?’
‘Out for a walk. I remember the first time I came up here with the walking tour, they almost left me behind.’
‘Come on, Craig,’ Kelly said. ‘We better get a move on if we’re going out for tea. See you later, Grace.’
I waited below the turrets till Grace said they were well away from the tower.
‘What was that about?’ Grace asked.
I didn’t know how to explain it; all I could do was shrug.
‘You’re really weird sometimes, Mary.’
‘Is that okay?’
She thought about it for a minute.
‘It’s fine.’