26

I keep waiting for everyone else to show up for the Rituals meeting, as the present group consists of the offensive line from the football team, the starters on the baseball team, and me. As if I didn’t already feel like a total outsider, this seals the deal. Meanwhile, Brandon paces around the room.

“Hey, Brandon,” shouts one of his teammates. “Have you got Morgan’s stats yet?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, Morgan.” Brandon laughs. “Yeah, I got her stats all right. But I got to check them again, if you know what I’m saying. And then again, and again.” He thrusts his pelvis forward suggestively as Zach fawns by his side.

“We don’t need you to check your numbers a hundred times. Just give Kevin the scores. Come on, it’s not fair for you to keep them to yourself.”

Brandon looks at me like I’m the one who just said it, and the atmosphere suddenly seems tense.

“Hey, just leave Brandon alone,” I say, surprised by the sound of my own voice. “When he’s ready, he’ll tell us, okay?”

“Yeah, Kev’s right,” says Brandon, eager to change the subject. He coughs and turns to me. “So, you got Abby’s scores yet?”

I can’t believe he’s asking me this after I just saved his butt. “No, I don’t have Abby’s scores.”

“But you said you and her were hanging out on Saturday. Don’t tell me you struck out.”

Zach’s smirking in Brandon’s shadow. I want to tell them both to get lost.

“No, I didn’t strike out.”

A horrified look envelops Brandon’s face. “You got caught stealing second!”

I try to stay cool, try to ignore the hypocrisy. “No, I just didn’t want to go to second base.”

“All right, that’s cool. I don’t blame you really, ’cause let’s be honest … she’s not exactly the hottest girl in school. She’s not going to win any beauty contests, that’s for sure.”

“If you think she’s ugly, you should see her parents,” Zach interjects. “They’re freaks. Like, seriously, their teeth are freakin’ bent all over the place and yellow and shit. My dad’s an orthodontist and when he saw them he just laughed and said it’s proof that Britain’s like a third-world country.”

Zach laughs, and Brandon laughs, and gradually everyone else joins in too because they’re afraid they may have missed a classic comedy moment. But this time I don’t join them, even though Zach is staring at me.

“Sorry, Kev,” he smirks. “Did I offend you talking about your girlfriend’s parents like that?”

“She’s not my girlfriend, and no, you didn’t offend me. I just never thought anyone would be dumb enough to say that straight white teeth are the defining characteristic of developed nations.” I try to sound like my mom so that Zach will appear stupid. It works—he goes bright red.

“So you’re saying their teeth look okay, is that it?”

“No, I’m not. Sure, their teeth are freaky enough to scare small children, but that’s not the point. The point is that you’re too stupid and vain and fixated on teeth to know that you’re talking complete crap. You’re so dumb you didn’t even realize Taylor was—”

Uh-oh. I stop mid-sentence, hold my breath and wonder how to continue. I can’t mention what Taylor said—I promised I wouldn’t. And even though she humiliated me the other night, I actually feel sympathy for her, having to date Zach for a year just to get free dental work.

“I didn’t realize Taylor was what?” snarls Zach.

“That she was … was … a feminist.”

There’s a collective gasp like I just called her a leper, and then Ryan’s laughing and pointing at Zach.

“You dated a feminist for an entire year and you didn’t even realize it, you pussy!”

Everyone else joins in the laughter like the obedient little sheep they are, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

As we file out of the room, I see Abby standing in the corridor. I think she’s waiting for me, and although I’m scared to death about what she’s going to say, I want to apologize to her. I need to apologize.

I’m about to join her when Brandon wraps an arm around my shoulders.

“You should be a comedian, Kev. For real. Like, that thing you said about Abby’s parents—their teeth are freaky enough to scare small children—absolutely hilarious!”

I feel my body go rigid.

Brandon lets go, surprised. “What’s the matter?” He looks up, sees Abby, and laughs nervously. “Whoa! Fucked up!” He laughs again, but Abby’s mouth just hangs open in shock. “What? Come on, like it’s not true.”

Abby spins on her heel and hurries down the corridor. I want to run after her, but if I do it will confirm everything Zach just said about her being my girlfriend—and for the rest of the year she’ll be abused by Zach and Brandon and probably everyone else, even though she’s done nothing wrong. So I stay rooted to the spot.

“Ugly and weird,” Brandon concludes as her figure recedes into the distance.

“No, she’s not,” I say. Only Brandon’s not listening, because Brandon never listens.

“Don’t forget the baseball semis tomorrow,” he shouts as he walks away. “Games like this are where legends are born.”

I nod, but in the back of my mind all I can think about is how Mom was right: Brandon can be a real asshole.