NATE KEPT HIS distance from Flo for a week. Even though he shouldn’t have been bothered by her I don’t date men who have a broken heart comment, it had stung. It had been meant in jest and if it had been anyone else he might’ve got a chuckle out of it, but Flo had been the one to say it.
It shouldn’t bother him, because it’s not like he was going to do anything about Flo, but it did, because he was slowly realizing he cared about her and that was scary.
How was she getting past his walls? He didn’t know, but he decided after the failed transplant retrieval for Kyle Francis that it was best he stay away from her. So after disappointing Kyle and having a long talk with him, Nate threw himself back into his work at night. During the day he avoided being in the office. He found little corners to work in and the clinic had a nice research library tucked away on another floor.
At night, he worked on his papers and spent a lot of time swimming, but even then Flo’s presence was there, and every time he got out of the pool he expected to see her waiting for him.
He had to get a grip and remind himself that there was nothing between him and Flo, but he did miss her companionship. He missed their friendship. And that’s why he was now standing outside her office, hesitating about whether to go in. Only he had to go in. There had been some whispers about whether or not their relationship had ended or perhaps was on the verge of ending, because it seemed the dream team was drifting apart.
Freya had noticed and Nate had just come out of a meeting with her, having assured her that the distance was nothing. He’d just been working and things between Flo and him were fine.
As fine as they could be for a fake relationship.
“The door is unlocked.”
Nate turned to see Flo standing behind him, grinning at him, a sparkle in her eyes.
“You have a way of sneaking up on people, don’t you?”
“I do.” Flo moved past him and opened the door to her office. “You know this is your office, too, so you’re allowed to come and go when you want.”
“I know. I was thinking and you interrupted my train of thought.” He walked into the office and Flo followed, shutting the door behind her. She took a seat behind her desk and put up her feet on it.
“Well, I’m sorry about interrupting your train of thought. You’ve been busy. I haven’t seen you around much.”
“I’ve been working on my research.
“What is your research about again?”
“Mostly working on ways of regenerating organs and also the possibility of robotic replacements.”
She arched her eyebrows. “I’m impressed, Dr. King. I’ve thought along similar lines, too.”
“I figured as much. You’re just as passionate about transplant surgery as I am.” He cleared his throat. “I just got out of a meeting with Freya and I think we need to talk.”
Her smile faded. “I think I know. I had that talk with her, too.”
Nate nodded. “Something happened after Kyle’s failed retrieval.”
“Yeah, I took it too hard. I’m sorry for acting that way.” Only she didn’t look him in the eye when she said that and he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else going on there. Something she wasn’t telling him.
It’s not your concern.
“Okay, and I do understand. It was hard on me, too. Hard to break the news to him,” he said. “Freya wants us to make some public appearances together before the big gala fundraiser tomorrow night.”
Flo sighed. “Oh. I forgot about that gala. I hate getting dressed up for those things.”
“The investors we had that brief dinner with wanted to throw a gala to raise money for the Bright Hope Clinic and raise awareness for donating organs. We kind of have to be there.”
Flo wrinkled her nose. “I know.”
“So, before that gala, I think we should go out tonight. Make a few public appearances so the press will stop printing stuff about us drifting apart.”
“Drifting?” A blush crept up Flo’s cheeks. “Tonight. Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“Surfing.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Is that on your bucket list?”
“No, actually, but it could be. It sounds like fun.”
“I took a look at our schedules. We’re both off at three and I think we should take a drive out to Venice Beach, because it’s nearby and I can show you a few things.”
“You know how to surf?”
“I told you I’m a native Californian. Of course I know how to surf. I spent many summers on Venice Beach. Plus it’s a pretty safe activity compared to tackling Everest or letting you drive again.”
Flo chuckled. “I don’t have a bathing suit here with me.”
He frowned. “Well, I’m sure you can pick up something along Venice Beach. I don’t have one with me, either.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled. “Okay. It sounds good. I guess I can’t really say no to that, but I didn’t really have you pegged for the surfing type.”
“Why?”
“You don’t seem to take a lot of risks. Don’t take it the wrong way, but when I talked about mountain climbing, you seemed pretty against any kind of risk-taking.”
“I had a friend, she took a lot of risks. Maybe some risks she shouldn’t have.”
Flo tipped her head to one side. “What kind of risks?”
“Riding a motorcycle without a helmet, for one thing.”
“I wouldn’t do that one. I’m not that much of a risk-taker.”
Nate grinned. “You want to climb Everest.”
“Have you?”
“No.” Only he didn’t tell her that it had been on his list once. Back when he’d done foolish things, taken chances and lived life to the extreme. Of course that had been a long time ago. Now he was a surgeon and understood the kind of trauma that could be done to a body doing those things.
He shook those thoughts out of his head and decided to change the subject.
“Surfing isn’t too bad, as long as you don’t do too much of it at dusk when the sharks feed.”
She sat up straighter, her eyes wide. “Sharks?”
“You’ll be fine. I have to do a round because I promised James I would, but I’ll see you at the front in an hour.”
He chuckled to himself as he left her office and then stopped, because again she’d gotten through his walls. She made him forget that he didn’t do things like surfing or rock climbing or even traveling hours out of town to drive around a drag strip.
That was the old him. Someone he’d buried years ago. Why couldn’t he have suggested dinner or a movie?
That’s not you, that’s why.
But it was. It had been for a while now. Or at least he liked to think it was him.
Nate scrubbed a hand over his face, angry at himself for being so weak when it came to Flo. He was angry at himself for allowing the man he’d once been to come back, because that’s not who he was now.
That man was long gone.
* * *
Flo walked through one of the shops at Venice Beach that sold bathing suits. Or rather pieces of thread that seemed to be woven together loosely. At least for women. It was bad enough that she’d forgotten herself for a moment and stripped down in front of him once. Something she never did, because she didn’t want anyone to see her scar. If they saw the scar, they either knew what it was because they were a surgeon or they asked questions that she was not prepared to answer.
Which was why when the sales assistant kept bringing her bikinis, which were ridiculously skimpy, she turned them down.
“I want board shorts and a top that will cover my abdomen. I’m going surfing,” Flo said.
The shop assistant frowned. “But this would look cute on you.”
“Maybe, but, please, I just want board shorts and a top. It’s only April. It’s cold still.”
The shop assistant sighed and went off to dig some out. Nate had disappeared next door into the store that catered to men and where he could rent a couple of surfboards for them. Hopefully he wasn’t waiting for her.
“Oh, make sure it’s not yellow. I heard that color attracts sharks.”
“Oh, yeah,” the shop assistant said, coming back with what looked like a one-piece wet suit. “Yum-yum yellow they call it on the Gold Coast in Australia. I learned that when I was studying over there.”
Flo nodded. “Yeah, I definitely don’t want to attract a shark.”
“Well, this is a one-piece that is really popular with people who are looking for something more modest.”
“I’ll take it.” Flo paid for it. “Can I wear it out?”
“Sure. The change rooms are in the back.” The shop assistant handed her the bill. “Have fun.”
“Thanks.” Flo headed to the back of the store and quickly changed into the wetsuit. It was comfortable and most importantly it covered her scar. She packed her clothes in her bag and hurried outside to find Nate.
He was waiting beside his car, with two boards beside him and in a wetsuit, like her. Even though the wetsuit covered his gorgeous, muscular chest, it was tight in all the right places. He certainly filled it out well. Her cheeks heated and she tried not to think about the way he looked.
At least the scrubs at the hospital were loose on him. Shapeless.
Who was she kidding? He looked good in everything. It was almost criminal.
He smiled when she walked over to him. “Good choice, it’s a bit chilly. It’s only April after all.”
“That’s exactly why I picked it.”
Liar.
She never really did think about the water being cold. Los Angeles was always warm and sometimes darned hot, but she didn’t think about the water too much.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
“Just have to toss this in your trunk.”
Nate opened the trunk and locked their stuff away, but pulled out a couple of towels.
“What’re you going to do with your car keys?”
“My car is a classic. It was before computerized fobs.” He pinned it to his wetsuit. “See no problem. Which board do you want?”
“As long as it’s not yellow, I don’t care.”
Nate looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “You have an aversion to yellow?”
“Sharks like yellow.”
“Who told you that?”
“I read something about it once. The shop assistant knew it, too.”
Nate snorted and handed her a board that thankfully had no yellow on it. “Let’s go then, you nut.”
Flo stuck out her tongue and then jogged past him, the hot sand squishing through her toes as they headed toward the water. Thankfully there weren’t many people out and about, so she wouldn’t feel like such an idiot when she did a face plant or something.
She stood at the edge. The water was cold and lapped at her toes like it was taunting her. Nate set down his board and then knelt in front of her, his hands going around one of her ankles briefly.
“What’re you doing?” she asked, startled.
“Proposing.”
“What?”
“I’m adjusting your leash. The leg rope will keep your surfboard from being swept away if you fall, and you will fall.”
“Thanks for the encouragement.” She picked up her board.
“Have you ever surfed?” Nate asked as he wrapped the leash around his own ankle.
“No.”
“Then you’re going to fall. I haven’t surfed in ages so I’ll probably fall, too.”
“I hope you do.” And to prove her point she kicked some water at him.
“Hey!” He splashed her back, soaking her.
When she wiped the water from her eyes, he was already wading out into the water toward the swells.
What am I doing? What am I doing?
Yeah, she’d made a bucket list, but she hadn’t done much about the bucket list. Though she had always had the intention of doing some of the stuff on it, her schooling and then her job had gotten in the way.
Maybe fear. Maybe Mom and Dad had been right. Maybe I shouldn’t do this.
No. She wasn’t going to chicken out. She’d spent her whole life being so protected and sheltered that she’d felt like she hadn’t even really had a childhood. That’s why she’d made the bucket list. She didn’t know when her transplanted kidney might give up, but she had to live.
With determination she picked up her board and waded into the cold water after Nate, until she was beside him in waist-deep water.
“Glad you could join me.” He smiled, that warm, charming smile that melted her heart.
“Let’s do this. Show me how.”
He nodded. “Okay, climb on your board. We’re going to paddle out and then you’re going to have to lift yourself up as fast as you can to ride the swell. Do you think you can do that?”
“I’ll certainly give it a try.” Flo took a deep breath and climbed on her surfboard, lying flat just like Nate.
She followed his lead, paddling out towards the swells. Thankfully they were small. She watched as Nate headed toward a larger one and, paddling faster, he leapt up with seeming ease and balanced as he rode the wave past her and toward the shore, before losing his balance and falling into the water.
Flo took a deep breath and aimed her sights on the next one. She did exactly what Nate had, paddling faster, and then tried to stand, only she couldn’t. It felt like a ton of bricks was on her, and she got halfway up before the wave knocked her off her board into the water.
She surfaced, spitting water out of her mouth and rubbing it out of her eyes as she clung to her surfboard, which was now upside down.
Nate paddled toward her. “Good try. You almost got vertical there.”
Flo groaned. “That was harder than I thought.”
“I told you it’s difficult. Do you want to stop?”
She grinned. “Not a chance.”
They continued surfing until the sun began to set and she was absolutely exhausted, but that last time she stood on the board, albeit shakily, and rode the wave almost to shore, falling off in waist-deep water where Nate was waiting for her.
They picked up their boards and slowly carried them up the beach to where they’d left their towels. Flo sank down into the sand, using the towel to wipe the water from her face. Nate knelt down beside her, his blond hair plastered to his face, but it quickly began to curl in the warm breeze. He undid the leash on her leg.
“Thanks. My legs feel like Jell-O,” Flo said. All she wanted to do was sink into the warm sand and sleep.
“You were awesome.” He smiled up at her, making her heart skip a beat. “Better than Serena the first time I showed her.”
Then his expression changed to something unreadable.
“Thanks.” She could feel the blush creep up her neck. “Who was Serena?”
“A friend. She passed away.”
“Was this the friend who was waiting for the organs?”
He nodded curtly. “Yeah, she’s the one who lived dangerously, until she couldn’t.”
“Sounds like she lived life to the fullest.”
“Yeah,” he snorted. Something had changed. A moment ago he’d been relaxed and having fun with Flo, teaching her how to surf, and then something had changed when he’d started talking about Serena and her death. She couldn’t help but wonder if Serena had been more than a friend, and that thought made her feel a bit jealous, when she really had no right to be jealous about who he had been with in the past.
If he’d even been with her.
Nate’s past paramours, living or dead, weren’t any of her business, as long as it didn’t interfere with the facade that they were dating and had been dating for some time. That was the extent of her relationship with Nate, beyond a professional one, and she had to keep reminding herself of the fact. Though it was hard to when she found herself enjoying her time spent with him. She wanted to get to know him more.
“Well, thank you for taking me out there and teaching me how to surf. Albeit badly. I really had fun,” she said, trying to defuse the tension that had fallen between them.
“I’ll take these back to the rental place and I’ll be right back. Just wait here.” He picked up his towel and dried off his face and hair, before picking up both boards with ease and walking back to the shop.
Flo let out a sigh of contentment and watched the sun set below the line of the ocean. The sky was full of brilliant oranges and reds. It was so nice out here and for one moment she forgot everything. She closed her eyes and listened to the waves lapping against the shore. It was calming. It made her think back to that one summer her family had spent on Whidbey Island and a particularly sunny day in the Pacific northwest. It had been one of the happiest moments of her life.
One stolen moment from her childhood that her family had had. They’d had fun and had forgotten that she’d been so sick. It was like they had just been a regular family. Not a family constantly going from the hospital to work, to home. She opened her eyes to see the sun had set completely. She hadn’t realized how long they’d been surfing and her stomach growled in hunger.
“Bring your towel, Flo, and we’ll rinse the salt water off.”
Flo turned around and saw Nate. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He’d unzipped his wetsuit and bared his muscular chest, his wetsuit hanging around his slender waist. The afterglow of the sunset made his tanned skin glow like he was a bronzed god.
Think about something else. Quick.
Only she couldn’t.
“Okay,” she said, hoping there wasn’t a tremble in her voice. She grabbed her towel and followed him to the showers against the surf shop where he’d rented the boards from. He pulled the cord and fresh water started raining down; she just watched him, mesmerized.
She shook off all the naughty thoughts that were going through her head and pulled the cord on the shower next to him, but nothing happened.
“It’s not working?” he asked.
“Apparently not,” she said, trying not to look at him. “I’ll just wait until you’re done.”
“Don’t be silly.” And before she could say no he was pulling her under the water with him, their bodies close together. He ran his large strong hands over her, rinsing the sticky salt water from her body. Then he undid her ponytail, running his fingers through her hair, and she was frozen.
Her pulse roared through her body as he touched her.
No one had ever touched her like that.
No one else had run their fingers through her hair.
Then his hands came around and cupped her face, forcing her to look up at him. She realized how much he towered over her. His expression was unreadable but intense. It felt like time was standing still as she gazed up into his deep blue eyes. The water had shut off and the encroaching darkness caused the droplets of water in his hair to sparkle.
Kiss me.
Only she couldn’t let him do that. It wouldn’t be right, no matter how much she wanted another kiss, because she knew that kiss would lead to something more.
And she wanted that something more.
She wanted that night of passion.
Desperately. But it wouldn’t be a smart move.
She broke the connection and stepped out of the shower, wringing her hair out. “That was great.”
Nate cleared his throat. “Yeah, that was fun. I should take you home.”
“That would be good.” She picked up her towel and slipped on her flip-flops.
Nate did the same, wrapping the towel around his neck, but as they walked back to his car he took her hand. It sent a shiver of delight through her.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
“There’s paparazzi here,” he said in an undertone. “It’s why I brought you into the shower with me.”
And then she saw them out of the corner of her eye.
The shower had all been an act. The connection she’d thought they had hadn’t existed. And even though it was for the best, it hurt all the same.