‘ARE WE THERE YET?’
Chloe’s voice from the back seat of the four-door utility truck made Harriette smile. She concentrated on driving while Felix turned and addressed the little girl. The rear of the vehicle was packed with everything they would need to hold travelling clinics for the next few days, along with clothes for the three of them and an entire bag of ‘stuff’ for Chloe, which she’d insisted upon bringing with her. Captain Gumleaf, of course, was sitting in the back with her, strapped into his own seatbelt to make sure he was safe.
‘It’s only ten minutes since you last asked.’ He grinned at her. ‘Would you like a drink?’
Chloe screwed up her nose. ‘Will I have to go to the toilet in the bush again?’
Harriette chuckled and looked in her rear-vision mirror, reflecting on the look of horror on Chloe’s face when they’d had to stop a few hours ago so the child could relieve herself behind one of the native shrubs that was scattered here and there along the way. To say Chloe hadn’t been impressed was an understatement. ‘There is a good chance that may happen, Chloe, depending on how much you drink.’
‘I don’t like doing that,’ Chloe stated and shook her head as Felix held out her drink bottle.
‘You’ve got to drink, Chloe.’ His tone was caring but insistent.
‘I don’t want to!’ She sat in her car seat and crossed her arms with determination, a frown on her face, her little lips puckered in defiance.
Harriette laughed again and Felix turned on her. ‘What’s so funny? She’s got to drink. Out here in the Australian outback, it’s imperative to remain hydrated, especially when in a car. The heat outside is—’
‘The car is air-conditioned, so we’re hardly at risk of overheating, and she’s already drunk quite a bit today. I don’t blame her about not wanting to urinate in the bushes. It’s far easier for you males than us females and, to make my final point, we’re only about forty-five minutes away from arriving at the first homestead. Once we’re there, she’ll eat and drink and urinate in a proper toilet.’ She looked over her shoulder and winked at Chloe. ‘Isn’t that right, princess?’ she stated rhetorically.
‘Proper loo,’ Chloe repeated, naturally translating the word into her English counterpart. She uncrossed her arms and clapped her hands. ‘Proper loo.’
‘At least she’s smiling, now,’ Harriette remarked as Felix scowled at her. ‘You look just like Chloe,’ she said, teasing him slightly. ‘All frowny and grumpy.’
‘I’m not grumpy,’ he stated. ‘I’m annoyed. There’s a difference.’ Without another word, he pressed the button for the CD to start playing, pleased that Erica had given them quite a few different children’s CDs for Chloe to listen to on the long drives.
‘I’ve already heard this one,’ she stated from the back.
‘And now you can hear it again,’ he retorted, seemingly annoyed with both the females. He waited a few minutes, until he could hear Chloe singing along with the song, then shifted in his seat so he was facing Harriette. ‘I don’t appreciate the way you’re constantly undermining my authority with Chloe,’ he remarked, doing his best to keep his tone level so Chloe couldn’t hear him. He’d noticed that the little girl often picked up on undercurrents between Harriette and himself and ended up having tantrums over it, as though thinking that if the two main adults in her life were misbehaving, it was perfectly all right for her to do so as well.
That was the way it had been in the house until they’d left for this trip. He wouldn’t say that he and Harriette had had tantrums, per se, but the atmosphere certainly hadn’t been one of relaxed joviality as it had been before they’d kissed. Harriette’s attitude had been one of polite indifference. She’d arranged to eat out at different friends’ houses, saying that she’d neglected her friends while Eddie had been here. That had meant cheese sandwiches for Chloe and a tin of soup for him as he hadn’t felt much like cooking. After Eddie’s gourmet cooking, his soup had tasted bland and unappetising and he’d kept glancing at the door every time he’d heard a sound, hoping it was Harriette coming home to spend some time with them.
She hadn’t. Not at least until rather late into the evening when he’d bathed Chloe and wrangled her to sleep. And when she had come in, she’d walked straight past him, murmured a polite goodnight and headed to her part of the house.
Felix knew Harriette had every right to go and see her friends—after all, the two of them were just colleagues, or at least that was the way she was making him feel. He’d thought they’d progressed past that, that they’d become friends as well. They had, he realised, until they’d kissed and everything had changed.
‘I’m sorry,’ she replied, bringing his thoughts back to the present. ‘I guess it’s the mother in me that takes over.’
‘I know you know more than I do, but how am I supposed to learn if you keep jumping in and contradicting what I say?’
‘I wasn’t contradicting—not really. I was...justifying and explaining to her. She has every right to say she doesn’t want to go to the toilet in the bushes, even though out here it’s almost considered a rite of passage.’ Harriette grinned, the ute still speeding along on the endlessly straight road with not a house in sight. ‘Still, I will do my best to refrain from appearing to undermine your authority because it is important for you to exert it.’
‘And you’ll try to back off? To let me at least attempt to deal with Chloe on my own?’
‘I’ll most certainly try and bite my tongue, but only on the condition that if you need help with Chloe, if you feel out of your depth, you’ll ask me for help or advice. I can’t promise I’ll always know what to do but we can work it out together.’
‘Can we?’ The two words were softer than the others and the tone in them had definitely changed. A prickle of apprehension washed over Harriette, and when she risked a glance at him again it was to find him watching her more intently than before. Clearly they weren’t talking about Chloe any more.
‘Of course we can,’ she remarked, keeping her tone as jovial as possible.
‘You like children, don’t you?’
For a second, she thought she’d misinterpreted what he was saying. Was this going to become a habit? Was she ever going to be able to figure him out, figure out his moods, or was she always going to be grabbing the wrong end of the stick? ‘Uh...of course I do.’
‘Would you like to have more?’
This time she turned her head and stared at him for a long moment. ‘Me? More children!’ He nodded. ‘No. No. No.’ She shook her head and returned her attention to the boring, very straight road. ‘I mean, could you imagine it? Having my kids over two decades apart? That’s a bit...strange.’ She laughed, then shook her head again. ‘It would be funny to see Eddie’s face when I told him I was having another child but—no. I’ve worked too hard for too long to finish my surgical training and I’m so close to being finished.’
‘You can have career and family, you know.’
‘Like you? How’s your career going since Chloe entered your life?’
Felix thought for a moment before agreeing. ‘Point taken.’ He eased back into the chair as they drove along and Harriette refocused her attention on the road. ‘What about men?’
‘Pardon?’ She stared at him again, wondering if she’d heard him correctly.
‘Have you ever had a serious relationship? I mean, apart from Eddie’s father.’
‘Uh...sort of. I’ve dated colleagues in the past and not really seriously until Eddie was in his teens.’
‘Fair enough, but none made you want to take a trip down the aisle? Have more kids?’
Harriette frowned as she drove along, pleased she had the protection of her sunglasses as she answered his questions. ‘I was serious about one guy. Eddie was seventeen, hanging out with his mates and being hormonally obnoxious.’
‘Eddie? Hormonally obnoxious?’ He chuckled.
‘Happens to all of us,’ she added, smiling at him.
‘So...the guy?’ Felix prompted when she remained silent for a moment.
‘Right. The guy. His name was Mark and he had moved to the country to work in the hospital for a few years. I was deciding whether or not to specialise in surgery and he just seemed to make my life so much richer. He supported me in my career, he was great with Eddie and everything seemed perfect.’
‘And then?’
‘And then he had articles published in a reputed journal and was offered a fellowship.’
‘Wait. Not Mark Masters?’
Harriette snorted with derision. ‘One and the same. Clearly you know him.’
‘I took over the fellowship from him.’
‘Of course you did.’ And there it was in a nutshell. Felix might be putting Chloe first, but his career still came second, which meant there really wasn’t any room in his life for Harriette. ‘All you career-climbing surgeons know each other.’
‘So I take it he left the country hospital for the high life?’
‘In the middle of his contract, leaving me short-staffed and overworked. Eddie was devastated.’
‘As were you, I’m sure.’
Harriette could only shrug, and before he could ask her any more personal questions she turned up the music a little and began singing along with Chloe.
‘Let me know if you’re becoming fatigued and I’ll take over,’ he offered ten minutes later.
‘It’s not long now and, besides, I’m used to driving long distances.’
‘How often are these clinics?’
Although they’d already been over this once, it was clear Felix needed to get a full grasp on the strange situation of taking the doctor to the patients rather than the other way around. ‘Once a month. Depending on how many clinics are being held, usually one of us goes out and the other stays in Meeraji Lake.’
‘But now that we’re both going, Tori and the rest of the staff are holding down the fort? What if an emergency comes in?’
‘Generally, because people know we’re holding district clinics, they’ll travel to the homestead where the clinic is being held. Usually it’s closer for them than coming into town.’
‘And these clinics are held because a lot of outback people can’t, or won’t, take time off to visit the doctor even when they’re sick?’
‘Yes. Outback Australians are made of sturdy stuff and sometimes they think they’re immortal. These clinics mean more people can be immunised, especially for things like tetanus, and have their concerns addressed without needing to take a day or two off work in order to drive to Meeraji Lake.’ She was starting to slow the vehicle down. He still couldn’t see anything around them apart from the odd tree and shrub and a lot of reddish-brown dirt so he wasn’t sure why she was slowing down.
‘Where are we going?’ he asked as she turned the vehicle onto what could only be described as a dirt track.
‘To the homestead. This is a shortcut.’
‘Shortcut? Are you sure that’s wise?’
Harriette laughed at him. ‘We can go the long way around and add another hour to our journey?’
‘No. No. This way is good.’ Felix held onto the hand grip above the passenger door as the utility truck made its way over ground that appeared to be flat but was in fact rather undulating. He checked Chloe in the back but she seemed perfectly fine with the new terrain. In fact, she was clapping her hands with joy at the bumps and giggling. ‘Great. She’s a daredevil, just like David.’
Harriette laughed again and continued navigating their way across country. Twenty minutes later, she turned onto a graded gravel road and soon after that she turned into what could only be described as a long dirt driveway, the sign at the turn-off to the homestead the only indication that this was the correct way.
‘You’ll have to jump out and open and close the gates for me,’ she told him, and as he did as she asked Harriette had to admit that the day’s driving adventures hadn’t been as bad as she’d initially thought. She’d anticipated that it would have been confining in the small cabin of the truck, that Felix’s scent would drive her crazy and that the close proximity would be distracting but, in actual fact, she’d enjoyed it. Her embarrassment at having been a fool in his arms a few days ago had decreased and she’d managed to return her spirits to her usual jovial self.
Harriette brought the vehicle to a stop outside the front of the homestead, a lot of cars already parked, people milling around ready and waiting for the afternoon clinic to begin.
‘What’s all this?’ Felix looked out of the window at the plethora of people.
‘Patients.’
‘I hadn’t expected this many. It’s like a week’s worth of clinic hours all in one hit.’
She grinned. ‘Busier than a major hospital, mate.’ She switched off the engine and removed the key from the ignition before jumping out of the car and waving to the owner of the homestead. Remembering their earlier conversation about how Felix needed to be the parent with Chloe, she left it up to him to get the child from the car and, instead, Harriette went to say hello to some of the locals she hadn’t yet met.
Surrounded by people, they unpacked their belongings from the ute and headed inside where their hosts had set up rooms for a makeshift clinic.
‘What do I do with Chloe?’ Felix asked as Harriette handed him a note pad and pen so he could write down notes on each patient. She was opening the medical kits and other equipment they’d brought with them, such as tongue depressors, gloves and an array of bandages.
‘I think she’s already playing with the other children out the back in the sandpit.’ Harriette finished setting things up for him before heading next door into her own consulting room to do the same.
‘But how do I know she’s going to be supervised properly? What if she decides to run away out here?’ Felix had followed her, clearly anxious.
‘Then you’d best go talk to her, set down some guidelines and find out who’s in charge of looking after the children and let Chloe know.’ Harriette could quite easily have taken over but that wasn’t the way for Felix to learn. ‘Communication, in any relationship, is paramount.’
‘Right. Right. Good. Talk to Chloe. I can do that. Thanks,’ he returned, and as he disappeared from her view she couldn’t help but smile at the progress he’d made in such a short time. At least now he was more than willing to talk to Chloe, to interact with the little girl and to ensure that her safety came first.
‘Doc?’ There was a knock at her open door and when she looked up it was to find a man in his late thirties standing there with an old towel wrapped around his hand. ‘I’ve just arrived and the blokes outside said I could jump the queue.’
Harriette nodded and ushered him in, closing the door. Clinic time had clearly begun whether she liked it or not, and as she unwrapped the towel she discovered a fencing nail going into the man’s hand.
‘Here we go,’ she whispered beneath her breath as she gathered together the supplies she would need. She treated her patient, giving him a local anaesthetic before removing the nail. She debrided the wound and then packed and dressed it.
‘You’ll need to have the dressing changed regularly for the next three weeks. I’ll put you on the district nurses’ roster but when they can’t make it to you, you’ll either need to get to Meeraji Lake or to Darwin.’ Harriette tried to smother a yawn as she spoke.
‘You all right, Doc?’
‘Just a bit tired from driving this morning. It’ll settle down.’ She started to write up the case notes for her patient, then asked him to send in the next person.
‘How are you going?’ Harriette asked Felix a few hours later as they stopped for a drink of cool iced tea.
‘Getting through them. There’s such a variety of problems. I hadn’t expected that.’
She clinked her glass with his and grinned. ‘Far more exciting than your average hospital clinic, right?’
Felix pondered her words for a moment, which only made her smile increase. ‘What are you smiling at?’ he asked, giving her that cute little quizzical smile.
‘You.’
‘What about me?’
‘You like to really ponder things before you speak or make a decision and that’s great.’
He nodded and leaned on the kitchen bench as a few of the older kids who were around the place came hurtling through. Harriette stepped forward in order to get out of the way and when she next looked at Felix, she realised just how close they were. ‘And you, Harriette, like to say whatever it is that comes into your mind.’
‘Hey. I do think things through. Perhaps I just think faster than you.’
He angled his head to the side and regarded her for a moment; she wished he hadn’t, especially as his gaze dipped to take in the shape of her mouth, lingering there a second too long before returning to look into her eyes. Didn’t he realise how he was affecting her? How that long look had brought a mass of tingles to flood through her body, had caused a wanting heat to wash over her?
She tried to return her thoughts to an even keel, to ignore the way he was making her feel. Theirs was a relationship that would remain professional and platonic, with her helping him to learn how to parent Chloe. She could accept that, but if she was to get through the rest of this year, working alongside Felix, living in the same house as him, seeing him become a wonderful father—as she’d already glimpsed—then she needed to find a way to keep her emotion under control. There would be countless more times when they would need to be this close, where the heat from their bodies would be combining together, where their scents would blend to become one heady concoction of desire.
She breathed out, trying not to look at his mouth but failing miserably, and what she saw there were his lips curved into a small smile. She looked at his eyes and saw one eyebrow raised in a teasing but very interested manner.
‘You were saying?’
‘Uh...’ Harriette tried desperately to think of what she’d been saying, of what her last thought was, but all she could remember was how much she wanted him to kiss her again.
‘You think faster than I do?’ he continued to tease and she realised he knew full well that their present closeness was having a devastating effect on her equilibrium.
‘Stop teasing me, Felix.’ Her words were soft, intimate and meant only for him.
‘Or what?’ he challenged.
‘Or I may shut you up by kissing you.’
His smile increased, which only disarmed her more. She’d half expected him to take a step back at her words, to put some distance between them, to become uncomfortable at her straightforward speaking. ‘I can think of worse punishments,’ he countered, his gaze once more dipping to take in her mouth.
Harriette sighed with repressed desire and clenched her jaw to stop herself from leaning forward and following through on her threat. ‘Why are you doing this to me? You were the one who said we shouldn’t get involved, that we needed to think of Chloe, that you didn’t want me undermining—’
Felix placed a finger over her lips to stop her from talking, the touch causing her to gasp, the desire buzzing through her magnifying. ‘Perhaps I was...a bit hasty. Perhaps we should—’
He broke off as the owner of the homestead came into the kitchen and he immediately dropped his hand but didn’t ease back, still leaning casually on the bench. Harriette was the one to straighten, to take a step back, to try not looking guilty at being caught in an intimate tête-à-tête.
‘Find everything you need?’ Paulette asked them.
‘Yes, thank you,’ Felix answered as he took another sip of his long, cool drink. ‘Harriette and I were just discussing a few of the patients,’ he offered, as though explaining why they’d been standing so close. ‘As this is my first outback homestead clinic, I needed to clarify a few things.’
‘Fair enough,’ Paulette responded. ‘Now, I’ve had a few problems with people needing to stay the night and the fact is that I’ve run out of beds. Harriette, I had you and Chloe in the last room at the end of the corridor. There’s a double bed in there but, Felix, I don’t have anywhere for you to sleep. A lot of the men are dossing down in the lounge room but they’ve all got sleeping bags with them. Some are sleeping outside in their swags but at the moment the only real bed I have left is the one Harriette and Chloe will be sharing.’
‘What?’ It was Harriette who reacted. ‘None of the couches are free?’
Paulette shook her head. ‘I didn’t think it right to assign poor Felix to a space on the floor or to a couch, given you’ve both got to do a clinic first thing in the morning, plus you’ve been driving. You’re both going to be exhausted and—’
‘It’s no problem,’ Felix stated, finishing his drink and taking the glass to stack in the dishwasher. ‘Harriette and I can share with Chloe in the middle of us. She’ll love that.’ He smiled at Paulette. ‘You’re doing a great job dealing with the gaggle of people here.’
Paulette seemed taken aback at his praise and smiled warmly at him. ‘Oh. Well, thank you.’ She actually fanned her face. ‘How lovely of you to say so.’ She glanced at Harriette. ‘I can see why he’s considered the new catch of the county. Luckily I’m a happily married woman.’
Harriette drained her glass of its contents and went to put it into the dishwasher but Felix took it from her and performed the task. The last thing she wanted was to be discussing how Felix was bachelor of the year; to listen to the gossip that was no doubt already spread right around the district, especially when she’d been contemplating kissing him again.
‘Right. Back to work.’ With that, she left Felix and Paulette in the kitchen and called her next patient through into her makeshift consulting room. How she managed to get through the rest of the patients scheduled for that evening, she had no clue. With the way he’d looked at her in the kitchen, with the way he’d placed his finger over her lips, causing her breathing to increase and her senses to become even more heightened, it was enough to make her hyperventilate by just thinking about it.
How on earth was she supposed to sleep the entire night in the same bed as him? Of course, from a practical point of view, it was the best solution. They would both get to sleep on a comfortable mattress and awake refreshed in the morning, ready for the next clinic, but, to own the truth, being that close to Felix—all night long—especially with the way he was making her feel, meant she doubted she’d get any sleep whatsoever.
She could always go and sleep in the ute. It would be uncomfortable but she was sure she would actually get more shut-eye than she would being so close and yet so far from Felix. How was it that this man had somehow commandeered every aspect of her thoughts—except for the medical professional part? She’d managed to get her thoughts in order, to simply be colleagues with Felix, to be friendly but to keep her distance, to help him with Chloe. That was all she’d been planning to do for the next year and, hopefully, somewhere in the process of denying herself, she would find a level of compatibility with Felix where they could lose the awkward awareness of each other and achieve a companionable existence.
Not any more!