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Lola
“First of all, I’m not lying! You are a complete asshole, do you know that?” I scream louder as my asshole boyfriend fiddles with his lighter. I’d like to shove it straight up his ass.
“I know that and you’re a complete whore, Lola! Working down at that strip club and you want me to believe you haven’t fucked at least half your clients?” He glances up at me from under the bill of his Red Sox hat, those brown eyes penetrating right through me. I’d like to say that he’s ugly but that would be a straight up lie. He’s hot as fuck but his mind is something else. I guess it’s true what they sat about being ugly on the inside.
“I dance! I sure as hell don’t fuck for money, Ryan!”
“Well, I don’t want it,” he says firmly.
My heart slowly falls to the floor. I thought he’d be my happy ever after as long as we’d been together. Six years is a long time considering I’m only twenty-two.
“A little late for that!” I yell louder. His dark eyes lock with mine and that monster I know all too well rears its ugly head. My insides quiver as he stands slowly from the chair that he’d been sitting in. He stalks toward me like I’m his prey, and in a sense, I am. His eyes seem to darken the closer he gets.
“You understand what the fuck I just said?” he asks, his tone deadly.
“I heard you but I’m keepi-”
The words don’t even get out when his fist slams into my stomach. I double over, wrapping my arms around myself. I was naive. I suppose I still am. I thought that a baby would make him stop, make the violence stop. I didn’t plan on it, we used protection, but one stupid fucking night the condom broke and this is the end result.
“I warned you, Lola! I don’t want kids. Never did!” Grabbing me by the hair, he pulls me upright so that he can look in my eyes. The evil that seeps from his pores makes my whole body shudder.
“I’m sick of this, of you! You do shit behind my back, fuck other guys. Shake your ass at that club then come home and tell me you’re pregnant. What kind of fool do you think I am?”
Me being me, I can’t control my mouth. I word vomit more than I should and it always lands me in hot water. “You really want me to answer that?” I ask as tears slide down my cheeks. Another fist to my ribs knocks the air from my lungs.
“The dumbest kind of fool! You are a worthless...piece of...shit!” I pant between words trying to catch my breath. My body screams in pain but I won’t let him win this.
“I’m a piece of shit?” He jerks my hair back so he can see my face. “I’m a piece of shit?” His fist collides with my eye and the room begins to spin.
“Tell me again how I’m a piece of shit!” he roars loudly.
“Piece of shit,” I grumble as the room spins out of control. Everything after that just sort of becomes a blur. I am numb to the pain, which isn’t unusual for me. I have become an expert at locking myself away when he turns into this monster. No, this isn’t the first time he’s hit me and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m caught in his web. I’m caught in this shit. I’m stuck. What’s the alternative? Life on the streets again? I don’t think I can do that.
When I first met Ryan, his good looks drew me in. He was gorgeous, and when I saw him standing outside the club next to that hot ass sports car, I thought he was perfect. We hooked up after that more than once and each time just got better and better. I didn’t see just how off he was until he asked me to move in with him. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity. I’d lived on the streets since I was fourteen and started at Triple D’s, the strip club when I was sixteen. Yes, Barnie, the owner is as shady as they come.
Meeting Ryan changed me in ways that I wasn’t sure I liked. Everything was great in the beginning. He was working at his dad’s company and had his own place. I loved it here. Top notch everything. I never wanted for a thing because Ryan provided it all. That was until I stopped agreeing to his fucked-up rules. At first it was little things. No showers until he got home. That was fine by me since he usually joined me for them. Wait for him to get home to eat before I went to the club on days I worked. Okay, again I didn’t mind it. Then the weird shit started coming. He wanted to tie me up and fuck me. Kinky? Sure, I could get into that, but he wanted me afraid. He wanted me to fight him. He kept saying that it was role play but the more he did it, the more I started to think something was off. When the news flashed across the screen one night that there was a killer on the loose in Florida that was raping women and tying them to the bed, I started to wonder about him. Of course, I don’t think it was Ryan who did that, but at the end of the day, I was still a little unsure.
“Wake up!” His voice rips through my subconscious.
My eyes slowly flutter open and that’s when I realize the position I’m in. My face hurts like hell, my whole body aches. I pull at my arms only to realize that he has me tied to the bed. I jerk at the ropes trying to get them to give just a little but Ryan is a master at this. There is no give and no way to get out.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I watch him. He stands next to the bed, nearly naked with a condom in his hand.
“I’m taking what’s mine, Lola. Are you going to fight me like a good girl?” His question makes my skin crawl. I jerk at the ropes again and try to wiggle my way free but it’s no use. Tears stream down my cheeks as Ryan smirks at me.
“You never wanted to play this game, did you? Maybe now that you see how serious I am, you will play along,” he sneers. My heart beats faster as I watch him slide the condom on and climb onto the bed. I try to bring my legs together but with each ankle tied to the bedpost, it’s not happening. Ryan has done a lot of things to me but rape has never been one of them.
“I don’t want this, Ryan,” I cry, trying to reason with him. He chuckles and kneels between my spread legs, nudging his cock at my entrance. I close my eyes when his fingers dig into my skin.
“Open your fucking eyes, Lola. Watch me take what I want from you or I will fucking kill you.” The way he said it has me opening my eyes quickly. He stares down at me just as he shoves his cock in all the way. My body tries to protest, knowing this is all wrong, but Ryan doesn’t stop, nor does he care. Thrust after painful thrust, I clench my eyes closed and try to endure the pain until I feel his fist hit my mouth. With a cry, I open my eyes and look up at him. He nods his head and grins as he violates me. Slap after slap to my face makes my vision slowly blur and everything fades. Soon I’m lost in the darkness that comforts me and swaddles me in its fog.
