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Blade
I can feel her heart thudding in her chest with her back pressed to my chest. I’ve never felt something beat so wildly.
“I’m sorry for who I am,” she whispers and I almost didn’t hear her. I’m not even sure I was supposed to.
“I’m not,” I whisper back. I grab the bottle and take another drink before setting it back in its place.
“I’m okay now, Blade. I can go.”
Fuck! Why in the hell does she think she has to go? Besides, if there’s anything I’ve figured out in the past few days, it’s that I don’t think I can let her – even if there is a part of me warring with her deception. She isn’t going anywhere.
“Is that what you want?”
“Isn’t that what you want?” she questions me back.
To be honest, I’m pretty torn. Part of me says to let her go and live her life. She lied to me and that’s something I can’t live with. I hate lies but then the other part of me says that she had her reasons and to a point, I understand that. She never expected to like me. She never expected me to have feelings for her. Hell, I didn’t see it coming either, but she’s a spitfire that keeps me guessing and I like that. The more I look at her the more I can see us becoming something more. I can see a future with her, us together. It’s not something I had planned on, but I can still see it and that fact far outweighs her lying to me. It means more, I can feel it.
“If I’m bein’ honest, no. I don’t want you to go.”
“I can’t be the one to give you that family, Blade. It would be a mistake to keep me around,” she says, sounding like her heart’s breaking with her words.
“Oh yeah? Why is that?” I ask slipping my hand up her thigh to her stomach. I pull her back gently, getting her as close to me as I can.
“I’m a nobody. You need somebody. You don’t need a stripper who can’t even keep her own shit together. I’m a leech of the worst kind.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that one. She is far from those things. My fingers move over her stomach slowly, tracing small circles that cause her wiggle on my lap. I don’t agree with her assessment, but I do need to know her better and understand her thought process. I want to know her.
“Can we talk about the baby?” I ask, wanting to know her feelings on everything.
“There isn’t anything to talk about.”
“Were you happy about it?”
“Not at first. After I thought about it, I was a little excited. I knew I wouldn’t have anything to offer a child so maybe this was all God’s way of telling me that.”
It’s killing me. It kills me that she thinks so little of herself. She has more to offer than she thinks. What in the world has happened to her that she can’t see herself? That motherfucker Ryan and her mom must have been prime pieces of shit to have ruined her self-image to such a degree.
“Stop talkin’ like that,” I snap at her.
“Why? Truth hurts sometimes, Blade.”
“You know what? I’m sick of you talkin’ down about yourself!” I roar, drawing attention from everyone in the room. Lola grabs my wrist, flinging my hand away from her body and climbs out of my lap. Her hands on her hips look sexy as fuck with that pissed off glint in her eyes.
There she is.
“You know what? I’m sick of you acting all caveman telling me what the fuck to do! You don’t own me!” Shoving my drunk ass off the chair, I stand unsteadily in front of her and smirk.
“Wanna bet?” I challenge her. Her nostrils flare, her face reddens, and fuck does that make me horny as hell. My cock hardens in my jeans but after what she’s been through tonight, I have to try and calm that fucker down. I may be drunk, but I have enough presence of mind to remember that.
“Don’t you dare challenge me!” she snaps back at me. That fire right there is exactly what I fucking want. I want to touch it, hold it, and watch it turn my ass into ash.
“You’re mine, Lola! Mine!” I throw my hands out to the sides and turn to face the guys.
“I’m claimin’ her ass right here, right now! She’s mine,” I growl as all the guys begin to cheer. I turn to face Lola again and her eyes are wide.
“I’m not some property you can claim. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
She turns to storm away but that isn’t happening. Not today, not ever. I go after her catching her right as she reaches the door. Grabbing her around the waist, I jerk her back against me, my lips finger her ear. Sucking the lobe into my mouth, she moans lightly.
“When I say you belong to me that means you don’t walk away from me.” Lola shivers under my touch. I spin her around and push her back against the wall and devour her lips with mine. Her tongue is just as eager as mine is, snaking into my mouth and dancing with mine. I cup one hand around her throat feeling the vibrations of her moans as they slip into my mouth. Resting my forehead on hers, I break our kiss dizzy and breathless.
“You can’t own me,” she says so softly that I doubt she even believes the words coming out of her own mouth.
“I can and I do. I claimed you, Lola. That’s not somethin’ I ever planned on doin’ with anyone.”
“Then why do it? What’s that mean? Like, we have to get married?” She sounds like she’s going to panic but I just shake my head and smile. I like watching her when I make her nervous. She’s sexy as fuck.
“I did it because I want you. And as far as married? Not anytime soon, babe but one day maybe. Claimin’ you as mine is more than marriage. It means that you belong to me like I belong to you. We laugh, we laugh together. We cry, we cry together, and we love, we love together.” Her eyes fill with tears again and I lean in and kiss them away.
“Why me? I’m ruined.”
“No you’re not. You’re a little broken but together we can fix you. I can help fix you. Just let me,” I breathe.
“Are you sure this is what you want? You barely know me.”
I already know that part too but from what I do know, I like. I can’t say that I love her because I don’t, but I have a good feeling that is coming.
“If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have done it. You bring out a better side of me, one I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Besides, you ruined my goddamn dog for any other woman. Look at him,” I tell her with a laugh when she looks down and sees Diablo sitting at her feet.
“He does love me, doesn’t he?” She giggles and runs her fingers over the fur on his head. He sits right there like the goddamn king and lets her, too.
“Yeah, he does. Look, I’m gonna make things right for us, Lola. I’m gonna take care of you and I’m gonna kill that bastard who hurt you. I just need information.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, she pulls away. She curls her arms around herself and a shadow crosses her face.
“There’s something I need to tell you, Blade.”
I watch her and wait hoping to hell that there isn’t another lie lost in there somewhere. I don’t know how much more I can take.
“Hey, Blade! Doc’s here!”
