10

The Competition

Monday morning, the day after Cristian left, I was very down. I missed him more than I had imagined. The most difficult thing was sleeping without him.

Once again I arrived at the office with dark circles under my eyes. They had become my signature look!

The atmosphere at the office was electric that morning. Everybody was ramped up with excitement. Our boss Paolo had important news, and had called all of us in for a meeting.

While waiting for the meeting to start, I sat at my desk to check e-mails. I was looking for something from Cristian, and I found a brief message. He said hello from Belgium, sending kisses and hugs.

I smiled a bittersweet smile.

At nine-thirty we all headed to the conference room on the second floor. Paolo was already there sitting with his faithful assistant on his right. For this occasion, he wore a dark suit and a thin black tie, instead of his usual uniform of jeans and a sweatshirt. I looked around and almost fainted! What was Etienne doing in an elegant suit and with a tired face sitting on Paolo’s left? What was happening? Why was my heart racing? I had a terrible foreboding feeling and all of a sudden I broke out in a cold sweat.

“Welcome everybody!” Paolo said, while we were taking our seats. “Thank you for your presence and punctuality.”

Valentina took a seat close to me, and her strong, sugary perfume woke me from reverie.

An errand boy sitting with the boss? Why? Had the Russian revolution finally succeeded?

“You’re all here because we have great news to tell you. As many of you already know, a few months ago we began a closer collaboration with our French partners. We have had great results and we are really satisfied.”

Behind Paolo there was a large illuminated screen where we could see a power point presentation of the company’s financial performance and the number of events taking place. The graph’s line went up and showed evident growth.

“Some of you have already met Etienne, the CEO of Seven – our French partner agency – and have had a chance to work with him…”

Had I understood correctly? I started to hyperventilate! Etienne, the blue-eyed errand boy, the guy I’d stolen the love letter from, was the CEO of Seven? One of the most important events agencies in Europe?

My head was spinning and I began to feel sick to my stomach.

Why didn’t he tell me this? At that moment I wanted a magic wand to transform myself into some kind of microscopic organism! I needed a spell, right now! What the hell could I do? I felt like a mouse in a trap. Actually, more like a Neanderthal at a Nobel Prize convention!

Etienne was smiling at me, while my face was becoming redder and redder.

“Our agency has decided to give three weeks training experience in Paris to one of you.”

A buzz rose in the room. Everybody was excited at the idea of working in Paris at such a prestigious agency.

“We want to give each of you the chance to participate in this selection. Therefore, in the next few months we’ll look closely at your work and productivity to see who among you will meet our expectations and go to Paris.”

I was still thinking about my mistake about Etienne. I was devastated. I felt definitely cheated, but at the same time I was excited and curious at the idea of Etienne inventing that story for me, only for me.

Then there was the competition. I would love to win, but I knew I didn’t have a chance. There were several people more skilled than me who deserved to win this training program in Paris. I looked at Valentina. Her satisfied smile showed she felt victory was within her grasp and she didn’t fear the competition with other colleagues.

“Let me be clear. We do not want to put you in any kind of competition. We only want to award the one person who best demonstrates his or her potential. So, please continue your work as always, and don’t forget we are a team rowing in the same direction.” Paolo ended his speech.

We all burst into applause. The possibility of going to Paris was exciting for everybody.

Etienne stood up and took the podium. “It will be a pleasure to collaborate with you all. Don’t forget we are here to work, but also to have fun. We are lucky, we do a very exciting job. Don’t ever lose your enthusiasm and keep going as always. You’re great. May the best person win!”

He was charismatic and self-confident. A true leader. How could I have thought he was an errand boy? I was an idiot, without hope for redemption!

*

I tried to forget the embarrassing memory of my bad faux pas with Etienne, at least until some brilliant idea of how to apologize would come to me. At the moment I could only focus on the good news of the day and mingle among my colleagues.

The hope of winning the training period in Paris will definitely improve employee performance, but I was also afraid that the competition would be fierce. Our bosses (the ex-errand boy included!) probably ignored the fact that some of us would be ready to tear our adversaries to pieces to win, and the blonde tiger, with her passion for gossiping and online dating, was one of them. It was Hunger Games in Milan!

However, the challenge was really appealing. I had always dreamed of working in Paris, and now someone was giving me the possibility – however remote – to do it!

Paolo left the room and then everybody else began to leave, whispering, laughing and calling one another to comment on the news.

Valentina looked at me: “You might as well go ahead and congratulate me!”

“For now I will just say good luck to you.” I replied.

I left her to mingle in the crowd of employees. I needed a moment to reflect, and think of how to deal with the boss-errand boy situation. I had to find a good strategy.

While I was walking, one of my heels got stuck in a seam of the carpet and I had a disastrous fall. Paolo, who was nearby, run to help me. “Are you ok?” he asked, trying to lift me up… I had hurt one of my knees, but it was nothing serious.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I answered taking his hand to get up. My heel had come completely unglued from my shoe and it was hard for me even to balance. “Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about my shoe!” I added, picking my heel up from the floor.

“Don’t worry. I have a very strong glue that will solve the problem. You can find it in the right drawer of my desk.” Paolo said, winking at me.

I thanked him and limped towards his office. I found the glue and sat on the floor to try to fix my poor shoe. I loved those shoes, and didn’t want to throw them away.

I was there sitting on the carpet waiting for the glue to dry, when someone entered the room, closing the door behind him. It was Etienne talking on his phone. He paced up and down the room, raising his voice. He spoke French and seemed upset. At some point I heard that he addressed the person he was talking to, as ‘Juliette.’ So, he was on the phone with her, his fiancée. Again! Unwillingly, I was violating their privacy. And again I had the same, strange sensation I felt when I had found his love letter. It was as if I were there to listen to his conversation, as if someone had purposely placed me there, in that precise moment, to listen to his words. A strange destiny seemed to bond me to Etienne and Juliette, and I didn’t know why.

The desk was a good hiding place, so Etienne didn’t notice my presence. I didn’t know what to do, I held my breath, hoping he would leave the room as soon as possible. After a few minutes, he ended his telephone conversation, but instead of leaving, he came close to the window that was behind Paolo’s desk. I knew it was hopeless, but I prayed to become invisible. Etienne looked down and stared at me.

“What are you doing here?” He sounded irritated… and who could blame him!

“I’m sorry. I… I didn’t want to eavesdrop. I broke my shoe and came here to get Paolo’s glue to try to repair it. I’m really sorry.” Without catching my breath, I continued, “I’m so sorry I’ve mistaken you for an errand boy. I’m so silly, a stupid girl with her head in the clouds… Someone who doesn’t know any better. Hopeless. I’m mortified and don’t know how to apologize…”

“You’re really funny,” he interrupted me, when I was trying to get up, “and yes, I’m not an errand boy, but eventually my work is not so different from bringing packages around the world.”

“You should have told me!” I thought that I had humiliated myself enough, and wanted to regain some dignity.

“I’m sorry, Coco. I didn’t mean to tease you. You were so kind to me when you thought I was an errand boy. I liked it and you amused me.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“You should have seen your face in the conference room, when you realized it… you were so hilarious.”

“I don’t think so. I almost fainted.”

“I was there ready to catch you!”

“Ha, ha… so funny. Monsieur Etienne, I think you should apologize to me.”

“Well, since you were just eavesdropping on my phone conversation, let’s say we’re even!”

Embarrassed I looked down. “I’m so sorry – again – for this. Really, I didn’t want to…”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t think anyone was here. But you could have sat at the desk, you know? I don’t think Paolo would have any objection about a young wedding planner sitting on his throne!”

As usual, I had made a fool of myself.

He sighed.

“Are you ok?” I asked him.

“Well… It was a difficult conversation.”

“Hmm… I didn’t understand a word of what you were saying, I’m not fluent in French,” I lied.

“We only had a little argument. Nothing serious.”

“With someone important to you?”

He smiled and looked at me, first my eyes, then my hair.

“I like your hair cut. It looks good on you.”

Clever! Changing the subject. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk about Juliette. I got it.

“Thank you…” I whispered.

“I like women with short hair. They are not afraid to be daring…” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and I felt a shiver down my spine.

I tried to be brave and held his gaze. He stared at me with his deep blue eyes.

“What do you think about the three weeks training in Paris?”

“It’s a great opportunity. But I don’t think that it would be easy for me to beat my older colleagues. They’re all very skilful with a lot of experience.”

“Don’t be so negative, Rebecca. You have something special. You’re different, with a very personal style.”

“Thanks, but I’m still very inexperienced.”

If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them growing.”

“But that’s a Coco Chanel quote!” I was stupefied.

“You’re not the only one who knows the right aphorisms.”

I looked at him with renewed interest. His face still looked tired, but he seemed less tense now. He really was a fascinating man.

“Will you still have a coffee with me? Even if I’m not an errand boy any more?”

“Absolutely! But it will have to be your treat.”

He smiled cheerfully.

“I had better get back to my office now. I’m sure Valentina will ask where I’ve been all this time,” I said, while checking to see if Paolo’s magical glue was still holding my heel.

“Ok, Coco. Good luck with your work! It would be great to have you with us in Paris.”

His words put me in a very good mood. “See you soon,” I answered.

Then I walked slowly towards the door, feeling his ice blue eyes still staring at me.

*

As soon as I got to my desk, I realized that the atmosphere in the wedding department was extremely tense. Everybody had their eyes glued to their computer screens and Valentina was like a queen, looking down from her lofty throne, watching them slave away.

“Here you are!” she said as soon as I stepped into the office.

“Sorry if I’m late, but I’ve broken one of my shoes…”

“You always have a good excuse. We don’t have time to waste! Let’s get back to work right now. My chance to win this competition also depends on all of your performances. I really don’t want to miss this incredible opportunity!”

So, the message was clear. She would be the one going to Paris, even if we were the ones working twenty-four hours a day!

In the last two weeks she had also assigned me two more events. I was really busy.

My clients seemed to appreciate my clarity and focus. I didn’t get too involved in their emotions, and this attitude gave me the authority to make decisions independently. I appeared to be practical and efficient. A good wedding planner should be able to process and to act as soon as possible, making the best choices. I left feelings of being overwhelmed to the bride, the groom and their parents.

I began to work immediately to make up for the wasted time because of my shoe incident… From time to time, between choosing flowers and making calls to suppliers, I thought of Cristian. I kept wondering if he had already found a new lover in Brussels. I suddenly felt jealous and didn’t like the feeling.

At lunch break everybody left their desks, except for Valentina, who remained glued to her computer.

“Don’t you go to lunch?” I asked.

“No, I have some work to finish. I’ll grab a snack later in the afternoon.” She was determined to win at all costs. I knew there were going to be some difficult months ahead.

I tried to call Emma, but she didn’t answer. I thought it was very strange and couldn’t figure out what was going on with her. I decided to go to see her after work to make sure she was ok.

I found Paolo and Etienne in the little restaurant where I usually have lunch. They were talking animatedly and drinking wine.

I waved at them, looking for a place to sit, but Paolo called me. I went over to their table.

“What about your broken shoe?” he asked, smiling.

“Perfect! Your glue is really a miracle.”

“Why don’t you sit with us?” Etienne said, pointing at a chair close to him. “You don’t mind, right?” he added, addressing Paolo.

“Not at all! It’s always a pleasure to have the company of a beautiful and intelligent woman.”

I felt slightly embarrassed sitting between my bosses, especially now that Etienne wasn’t Etienne – the Errand Boy any more, but I tried to relax. There wasn’t anything wrong: we were all the same age and worked together – even better, we rowed in the same direction!

“Would you like some wine?” Etienne asked.

I was dying for a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, but I didn’t want to take any risks in front of my bosses.

“Hmm… I need to work this afternoon.”

“A glass of wine can only improve your work. We French know it well!”

“Let’s not start arguing about French and Italian wines!” Paolo laughed.

“You can’t win, Paolo!” Etienne said, while handing me the wine list.

I ordered a glass of wine and we toasted to the company and our future projects.

“How do you find it here, in Milan? Paolo asked, while I was dressing my salad. (Yes, salad! All my romantic dinners with Cristian had given me a few extra pounds, so now I fought tooth and nail to lose them!)

“I like it here so far. At the beginning things were complicated. I didn’t know many people in Milan, but thanks to some good friends, I’ve never been lonely. I’m happy that I moved here.”

“It must be very different from Venice,” he added.

All cities in the world are different from Venice! – I thought.

“Yes, it’s true. Most of all I miss the sea. I used to take long walks on the beach at the Lido, when I needed to clear my mind.”

“Venice is perfect for honeymoons!” Paolo said.

He carried on the conversation, while Etienne was eating his filet mignon. But all of the sudden Etienne replied, without looking up from his plate: “Great information!”

He seemed irritated, with a cynical tone. Maybe I sensed why. I knew about the love letter and his argument with his fiancée over the phone that morning. It was understandable he didn’t want to talk about honeymoons.

Paolo continued, “For my honeymoon, I chose the Maldives. I know it’s not very original – but I have to tell you, it was a two week dream!”

I hadn’t even noticed that Paolo wore a wedding ring. For a wedding planner I probably didn’t pay enough attention to these details. But I was also sick of hearing about other people’s relationships. Since I started this job, all I heard was about engagements and weddings. It was a curse! For a moment I began to fantasize about a hypothetical engagement with Cristian. He would convince me to overcome my antipathy for marriage and would ask me to marry him in his city, La Paz, in Bolivia. He would wear his dark suit – that looked so great on him – and I would wear a long, simple, but elegant white dress.

Paolo woke me up. “You aren’t married, right?”

“No, I’ve always been able to save myself just in time!” Paolo seemed amused by my answer.

“I can understand. By constantly working with hysterical couples, it’s definitely possible to lose any desire to marry…”

“Don’t be cynical,” Etienne said, “I remember how excited and emotional you were on your wedding day.”

“It’s true. But you know that it’s been hard and has taken a long time to settle down.” He laughed. He must have been a real womanizer in his past.

“Have you ever been to Paris?” Thankfully Etienne changed the subject.

“Yes, I’ve been there, but it was a long time ago. I loved it. It’s really a magnificent city.”

“You should go back.” I felt the depth of his gaze.

“Why not? It could happen!” Paolo said. “Considering all the progress that Rebecca has made in such a short time, she could be the one winning the training period in Paris.”

Etienne smiled at me and I blushed again. I lowered my head and kept eating my salad, not knowing what to say.

After lunch we all returned to the office. The coffee vending machines were literally assaulted by employees still commenting on the news of the day.

As soon as I stepped into the room, Valentina asked me with a dark face, “Why did you have lunch with the bosses?”

Someone must have seen me at the restaurant and immediately informed her. I realized that the competition was really getting crazy, and that Valentina was going to be relentlessly scrutinizing my every move. This opportunity was extremely important to her and she was ready to make my life hell!

“All the tables were taken and they kindly invited me to sit down with them.”

She looked at me for a long moment, not sure if she could believe me or not. Then she whispered:

“I’ll be keeping a close watch on you, Rebecca. Don’t try to outsmart me… Your kind and elegant looks don’t deceive me. I know how to recognize someone catting around.”

Was she seriously accusing me of trying to seduce our bosses? Good god was she crazy!

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said coldly and calmly. “I only had a salad with my superiors and I don’t see anything wrong with it. You shouldn’t be afraid of other competitors. Everybody knows that you are the best here in the company, and that you have no rivals.” I said with a veiled ironic tone.

She didn’t get my sarcasm and with conviction said, “You’re right. I am the number one. And now let’s go back to work! I need you to do some research for me. I have to find a good music group to play at an important party. The groups that we usually hire are all busy that evening.”

I went back to my desk. Knowing the next few months would be hellish. I had to be extremely careful about everything. We were at war. I needed a lot of patience and a good strategy to survive.

I stared at my computer for hours, looking forward to the end of the day. I just wanted to get home, take a hot bath, write to Cristian, and go to check on Emma. All of these challenges and weddings were enough for one day!

Later that afternoon I got back home more tired than ever… I just wanted to go to sleep for at least twelve hours! But I’d promised myself to go and see Emma; so I made a cup of hot tea, changed my clothes – to comfortable pants and loafers – and ran to catch the metro.

Emma lived in a very nice apartment in Isola, a neighbourhood that was becoming really trendy, despite being surrounded by skyscrapers and train tracks.

When I was just one block from her building, I saw her. She was talking animatedly with a young woman I hadn’t seen before. Emma seemed very much on edge. I stopped to observe the scene. They kept talking for a while, then the unknown girl tried to hug Emma, but she stepped back and the girl remained with her arms up in the air. Then the girl turned, opened the door of a red car and drove away.

I waited a few seconds, then I walked towards Emma, calling her.

“Hey Emma! Hi…”

She turned and stared at me. She didn’t seem happy to see me. Maybe my visit hadn’t been such a good idea.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, almost annoyed.

“I just wanted to surprise you. I didn’t hear from you and was a little worried…”

She was trying to control the tension that probably had built up during the previous conversation. Then her features relaxed, she closed her eyes to massage them with her fingers.

“I’m sorry, Coco. I’m a little nervous. I’ve just had a bad argument with a friend and I’m still agitated.”

I felt disappointed to learn that Emma had a close friend she had never introduced to me. But I realized it was crazy. It’s unreasonable to want to know all the friends of your friends. I was already jealous of Cristian; I can’t be jealous of Emma too. Come on!

“I understand. I’m sorry. Would you like to take a short walk to relax?” I asked.

“Yes, thanks.”

We began to walk towards a beautiful, little square full of bars and restaurants. As soon as we sat down in a bar, I asked, “Do you feel like telling me what’s happened?”

“Nothing important, just a misunderstanding.”

I suspected that she was hiding something from me, but I didn’t want to be pushy.

“I am not insisting, these things happen; but remember that I’m always here to listen, to console and to hug you. What about a glass of wine to forget today? It’s been a heavy day for me too.”

“How are you doing without your beautiful actor? You looked radiant last night.”

“I miss him, but I don’t regret anything. Also, I’m starting to truly believe in destiny. I needed to meet someone like him, to get myself back in one piece. There are men who break your heart, and other men seem to be made to fix it. Cristian healed me. Now I feel stronger and more self -confident.”

“Men are strange animals, but not as much as women.” Emma said, studying the wine list carefully.

“Yes, let’s order our drinks. The more I go around with men, the more I need good wine!”

We stayed there for a couple of hours talking about nothing serious. Emma decided not to tell me anything more about her argument. I ended up telling her about Etienne being a CEO and about the craziness of Valentina. From time to time Emma glanced at her cell phone, probably checking to see if she had received any texts. I must say, she was acting strangely.

After our aperitif, Emma walked me towards the subway stop. Passing in front of her building, on the way to Porta Garibaldi metro, we saw a figure sitting on her door step. It was her friend. We came closer and I immediately noticed her puffy, red eyes. She must have been crying.

Slightly embarrassed, Emma asked, “Why are you here?”

“I need to talk to you,” the girl answered, looking at me.

“She’s Rebecca, a great friend. Rebecca, this is Elena.”

I shook her hand, feeling a little bit out of place. “Nice to meet you, Elena. Don’t worry Emma, I can walk alone to the subway. Thank you for the aperitif. Have a good evening…”

Both waved at me with a half-smile. I walked a few steps and then I turned round. They were hugging each other. They must have made peace.

As soon as I got home, I made a hot chamomile tea and had a few cookies. Then I wrote a long e-mail to Cristian, telling him about my day.

Yes, I was alone again, but I didn’t feel lonely.

I sensed that my life could only improve, without too much of an effort. I was trusting in the future again.