In Heaven

No dog chained to a spike in a yard of dying

grass like the dogs

I grew up with, starving, overfed, punched in the face

by children, no children, no firecrackers

slipped down the long throats of bottles in the first days of summer,

no sky exploding, no blood, no bones

because we were the bones, no more Lord

my God, or maps made of fire, a small blaze burning

right where I grew up, so I could,

if I wanted to, point to the flame that was 82nd Avenue,

no milk in the fridge, no more walking through the street

to the little store

that sold butterfly knives, no more knives, no more honey

now that all the sweetness is gone, though we were the sweetness,

though we needed something

for our tongues, no more cheap soap, no more

washing our mouths out

because Motherfucker and because Fuck Off

came swimming out of us like fish from the Pacific Ocean,

no hummingbirds, no Band-Aids, no scraped knees

with the dirt and rock from the neighborhood

because we were the dirt,

no young mothers smoking cigarettes on the porch

while the sky got pretty

before night came on, though they were prettier

and the sky turned against them. No punk rock, no prom,

no cheap high heels left in the rain

in a parking lot, no empty bottles of wine coolers

because we were the empty bottles, no throwing them against the wall

behind the school because we were the glass

that was shattering. No more looking toward the west, no east, no north

or south, just us standing here together, asking each other

if we remember anything, what we loved, what loved us, who yelled our names first?