The Rad men stop when Shale accosts them. They look from him to me and back.
One of them, Stephan, is a man I know in passing. He's been on watch in the past when I've paced the decks in an attempt to control my nausea. Of course, he's dressed just like the rest of us, in serviceable gray wool pants and a gray tunic. We are all supposed to be immigrants from New Amana. But his purpose is to keep a lookout, to ensure that no government ships—either New Amanian or Chinese—catch us unawares.
Stephan and I chatted a bit on those late nights; he knows I'm pregnant. Now, he looks at me with pity in his eyes. "We have word. When we dock tomorrow, Chinese Monitors are going to do a search of the ship to authenticate the identities of passengers."
Shale looks at me. Time stops for a moment. The wave that was about to slosh against the side of the ship pauses, as if listening for my reaction. The plangent creak of the ship's rusted hull ceases. I breathe in, then out. I think, No. No, not when we've come this far.
When we escaped New Amana, we knew being on a ship didn’t guarantee our safety. Once New Amanian officials learned about what had happened at the refugee camp, they put out an alert for us. But the ship's captain, Jerome, is a Sympathetic.
Although he is supposed to be on the side of the New Amanian government, he—and a few key crew members—support the Radicals. They told New Amana they did a check and that none of the fugitives were on board. I honestly thought we’d gotten away with it.
Shale says, "What's the plan?"
The man with Stephan speaks. "Some of our contacts are bringing ‘round fishermen's row boats. But they won't dare get too close to the ship, just in case the other passengers or crew realize what's happening."
"Then how are we to get on them?" I look at Stephan, urging him silently to tell me the news straight, however painful it might be to hear. This is not a time for tact.
"You must jump," Stephan replies, his eyes flat. "Those of us who want to escape have no other choice."
Jump.
The word hangs in the air and we all look at it. Jump off the ship, fifteen meters into frigid waters. We must then swim until we meet the waiting boats. There is no guarantee, of course. We might jump, only to be swallowed by the ocean. Or maybe this is a trap and there are no waiting boats. Maybe we'll disappear into the night, our bodies frozen in a tribute to the pull of freedom.
Shale and I look at each other. I nod. There is nothing to do but try. Because if we wait here, if there are indeed checks when we dock, we will all be interrogated and put to the death. Jumping is our only chance at survival, grim as it is.
Stephan and the other Rad tell us we have a half hour. Then we must go to the lowest deck and, under cover of moonlight, plunge into the waiting ocean.
I walk back to our cabin with Shale so close behind me I can feel the heat of his skin. As we pass other cabins, we hear people coughing and moaning in their sleep. This journey has not been kind to us. Many passengers have perished of diseases, with no medical attention. But now we must do something even riskier than attempting this journey. Have we kept ourselves safe and healthy only to succumb at this point in our journey?
Once the door closes behind us, it is completely dark. I keep my hands out in front of me until my eyes can adjust; I don't want to stumble and startle Ceres.
When my knees hit the edge of our bed, I sit next to my curled-up, sleeping sister while Shale stands off to the side. I feel his presence, solid and steady, his bandages glowing in my peripheral vision in the dark. I wonder how he will swim with his wounds, how much pain he will be in when the salt water hits them. But I know life is a great motivator. I know he will find a way. He must.
I smooth Ceres’s hair. She whimpers in her sleep. Even though she is nearly a young woman, in my mind she is still five, the age she was when the Escorts came for her in New Amana. I feel as though those years when she was in the Asylum and I carried on with my life never happened, as if they passed in another universe, another reality.
"Ceres," I whisper. "Ceres, wake up."
She gasps—a small, scared sound—and her eyes fly open. Though I can't see her mesmerizing gold irises, I can see the whites of her eyes as she searches out the person who woke her. I wonder how she was woken in the Asylum.
"Vikki?"
My heart clenches at her nickname for me, one that was conceived when she was too little to say Vika properly. "Yes. It's time to wake up. We have to leave."
"Leave?" She sits up, and I feel the heat of sleep wafting off her. "Are...w-we in...China?"
"No. There's been some trouble. New Amana has notified the Chinese that we might be on board. We have to abandon the ship."
She looks at me, and I can only imagine the panicked thoughts tumbling through her broken mind.
"We're to jump off and swim toward waiting boats. It's going to be all right. I promise." I wonder if I'm lying to her. If she'll forgive me if something bad happens yet again. But there is no time to do anything else.
Ceres doesn’t move. I wait. Perhaps she needs time to process what I’ve told her. But the utter stillness in her limbs, the way she doesn’t budge even when I say her name, is wrong. I grab her hands, but she doesn’t seem to register my touch. She is like a doll—lifeless.
"Ceres." I try tugging on her to encourage her to move, to react, but she is too heavy.
Then Shale is there, gathering Ceres into his arms without effort. He puts one arm around her shoulders, pulls her snug against his torso. I put one hand on her bony back and realize she’s just a small, thin child, trembling, so very afraid. At Shale’s touch, she thaws out and begins to cry. He soothes her with shushing noises, and I stare in wonder at this side of him.
"It's all right," he says, his voice calm and deep, steady. "It's going to be fine. We're going to stay together, no matter what. You, Vikki, and me. Okay?"
Ceres is still trembling, but I see her nod. Shale releases her and she swings her legs over the side to get out of bed. He looks at me.
"I'll go round up some rope, see if I can get some more information," he says. "Could you inform Sara and Lucas?"
A few cabins down from us, they are most likely sleeping peacefully, unaware of the magnitude with which their lives are to change course yet again.
"Of course," I say. "We'll meet you on the bottom deck."
I'm waiting for him to leave, wondering why he hasn't moved yet, when I feel his fingers caress my cheek. Before I can respond, before I can even form a thought, he is gone, the door closing softly behind him. I hug Ceres tighter.