The next evening, after we are back from training, I pace the room. Though I am exhausted, I am full of a bubbling sort of anxiety. Ceres watches from her cot, pensive. She knows something is going on, but doesn’t ask what. It’s for the best; I want her to be as distanced from all of the decision-making as possible. She is only a child.
I suck in a breath and let it out as I walk from the small closet to the tiny kitchen and back. Tonight I have to tell Elara that I am going to decline her offer in spite of the danger. Shale has a plan, and he will fill me in on it later. I have a feeling Elara will not take it well.
There is a quiet knock at the door. I open it to find Trigger on the other side. I look at him in confusion—we aren't supposed to be at the depot until later—but he hands me a slip of paper. Then, without saying anything, he keeps walking. I close the door and unfold the note. It says:
Elara has asked you to bring Ceres tonight. Meet at the depot as usual. Burn this note in the stove when finished reading.
I do as he asks, my hands shaking as I stare into the orange flames licking at the small, curling scrap of paper. Why does Elara want me to bring Ceres? And even if she does, it doesn’t mean I have to comply. I could leave her here. But I know it will only anger Elara more. She cannot possibly want to hurt Ceres, not after she lost her young daughter. And between me and Shale, Ceres will be well protected. There is no point in antagonizing Elara more than I already will by refusing her offer.
I turn to Ceres and try to smile a normal smile. "I think you should come with me tonight, where I’m going."
She looks up from the cot where she has been leaning back, braiding her hair. "W-Why?"
I shrug, trying to keep my voice light. "The woman in charge wants to meet you."
Ceres's golden eyes are uncertain. "But...why?"
I go to her and smooth her hair. "I don't know. But I promise Shale and I will keep you safe. Okay?"
She nods, but that hesitation doesn't leave her eyes. As the hour for us to leave draws closer, she balls into herself, her face closed off. I can see that she is scared. Perhaps being summoned without having any idea of what to expect reminds her of the Asylum, of its unexpected horrors. I keep my arm around her and try to get her to speak to me, but her answers are curt and mechanical. I am sick to my stomach.
When Shale comes to pick me up, we step outside. He looks askance at Ceres.
"She wants to meet her," I say softly.
His face tells me he doesn't like this any more than I do. He squeezes Ceres's arm in a show of support, but she doesn't respond. A small frown line settles between Shale's eyebrows. We walk together, three silent shadows under the glittering stars.
◊ ◊ ◊
Trigger waits for us by the truck in the depot, shadows pooling under his eyes from the dim lighting. He smiles at Ceres, but it’s barely a twitch of the lips.
"Why does Elara want to see her?" I ask quietly.
“I don’t know.” Trigger looks at Ceres thoughtfully. “P’rhaps it's because she's close to the age her daughter would've been if she'd lived?"
I still don't understand why that would make her want to meet my sister. But I can see I'll just have to wait to find out. Shale puts a protective arm around Ceres’s thin shoulders and smiles. “How about you show Ceres where she’s going to be seated during the drive?”
Trigger hops up on to the trailer and holds a hand out to Ceres. He’s trying to be jovial for her sake, and I appreciate it more than he knows. “Ah. Now this you have to see, little miss.” Once she’s clambered up after him, he leads her to the crate with the false front. Switching on his flashlight, he illuminates the space. “You see? It’s actually a small room. Think it’ll be comfortable enough?”
Ceres smiles wanly and sits with her back against one of the crates’ sides. Even the newness of being in the truck can’t bring her to life. Trigger squeezes her shoulder and then comes back out to where Shale and I have been standing, watching the two of them. “If I thought she was in any danger, I wouldn’t have you take her.” His expression is earnest and warm.
Shale pats him on the arm. “I know. I don’t doubt you at all.”
There’s nothing left to do but face Elara and see what she wants with Ceres. Shale and I climb in the back, and Trigger shuts us in.
After we’ve passed the checkpoint—this time no one opens the door of the trailer to look inside, and for this I am thankful—Shale attempts to distract her. He flicks on the flashlight Trigger left on the floor. “Hey, Ceres. Do you know people at the yez actually wear masks?” He laughs an easy laugh. “Have you ever heard of such a thing?” When she only smiles weakly in response, he points the flashlight at the trunk full of old clothes. “Take a look in there; you’ll see what I mean. You have to wear one tonight, too.”
This seems to stir her interest. Holding on to the walls of the truck for balance, she begins to root through the trunk’s accoutrements. She picks up a gold-sequined mask and turns it over in her small hands. "Where...did these c-come...from?"
"Ananke," I say. "She orders it from the black markets here. What did she pick for you tonight?"
Ceres pulls out a puddle of green fabric. It's soft, I can tell even from this distance, and when Ceres turns it one way and then another, it changes from dark to light green depending on where the light hits it. The sleeves are short and made of black lace, and the mask wrapped up inside is made to match. Ceres strokes the dress fabric, her hand moving back and forth, keeping time, until it is time for us to get dressed.
Ananke has again been kind enough to procure me a dress with a flared waist, giving my growing stomach more breathing room. Though it isn’t noticeable under my loose wool uniform, the tight fitting of the last dress gave away more than I would’ve liked. But this one is roomier; a soft gray with pearl buttons going down the back. It falls to just above my knees.
As the truck trundles to a stop, I put on the silver mask that comes with it. When it is time, Shale and I step down from the truck, with Ceres close behind. Trigger touches Shale lightly on the arm. “I’ll be here in an hour.” His eyes move from Shale’s to mine—they are sincere, hopeful.
We thank him and walk across the abandoned parking lot. We left the flashlight in the truck, and now all that illuminates our path is the starlight. I glance at Ceres between us, already protected. She is washed with silver, a beautiful masked stranger. In our old-fashioned clothes, we might be revelers from another century, off to a night of partying.
Once we give the person at the door our password, we are allowed inside, amidst the writhing crowd, the throbbing music pulsing in our ears and chests. Ceres’s eyes widen behind her mask at all that is on display. I squeeze her upper arm and lean in so she can hear me over the din. “Keep your eyes on the floor. I’ll lead you to the back.”
She obliges, though I catch her sneaking peeks at all the people in various states of intoxication. My shoes stick to the tacky floor—I try not to imagine what materials might have rendered it so—as we hurry to the velvet curtain and wooden door in the back.
A man with a mustache we’ve never seen before holds a hand up to Shale. "Just the women past this point," he says.
I nod slightly so Shale will know this is okay with me. He steps aside, his jaw hard. "I'll be right here."
I reach out and squeeze his hand briefly. Then, Ceres and I make our way down the hallway. When the mustached man knocks on Elara's door, I hear her call for us to go in. He steps aside and lets us through.
Elara looks up, resplendent in a tight-fitting black corset dress. A black mask studded with red rhinestones glitters under the lights. Ensconced in her room, away from the loud music and the sticky, muggy room at the front of the yez, she reminds me of a stately spider. She resides safely in the middle of her glistening web, waiting for people like me to wander in.
It takes me a moment to realize there is another woman with her tonight. She wears a yellow dress to her calves and smiles from beneath her golden mask as she looks from me to Ceres.
"Welcome!" Elara grins. "Thank you for bringing Ceres with you tonight."
I’m momentarily taken aback by her jovial nature. "Yes...I've been wondering why you asked me to. Trigger seemed to not know." I keep my arm around my sister.
"Please, sit." Elara is still smiling, and she gestures to the chair. "Here, would you both like some hot milk with honey while we speak?"
Hot milk with honey, a treat we haven’t been able to get even here in China so far. Elara is being extremely kind. But why?
Ceres's eyes light up just a bit and she looks to me. I nod slightly; we take our seats and the steaming mugs of milk Elara proffers. While we drink, the lady in yellow keeps her eyes on Ceres. They aren't malicious, I notice, simply observant.
"This is Dr. Phoebe. She was a children’s doctor in New Amana, and I've brought her here tonight to look over Ceres."
I stare at Elara and then look slowly to Phoebe, who smiles for a moment before sobering. "It is my understanding that Ceres was in an Asylum," she says. "It is essential that she has an examination. Just from looking at her, it seems to me that she is severely malnourished. And of course, there have probably been psychological repercussions as well. In any case, a thorough exam would do her good. Unfortunately, I can't do one as thorough as I'd like here, but we do have the facilities on the compound. Tonight, however, I'd like to do a cursory exam and speak with her, if she—and you—allow me."
I shake my head in disbelief. Then I look at Ceres. "What do you think? Would you be willing to speak to a doctor?"
Ceres still looks scared. "C-come...with m-me?"
I look at Dr. Phoebe and she smiles again. "Of course your sister can come."
Ceres clutches my hand, tight. "O-okay." Her voice is impossibly small.