Elara leaves shortly after asking me to have Marisa put the delivery in her library. I pace the house relentlessly, going in circles from the bedroom to the living room to the library and kitchen and back again. The daylight fades, the sun’s last, gasping rays bathing the house in orange light. I pause momentarily to turn on a lamp, but then I resume pacing, stopping only when my stomach clenches and doesn’t release. The constant motion is making the practice contractions stronger and closer together, so I force myself to sit for a few moments. The baby kicks, but not nearly as much as she has been lately. She is running out of room.
Plans rush into my head and I assess and discard them with dizzying speed. Can I run outside to the bay, commandeer a van, and take it to the old compound? Of course not. I am much too slow to run now, I don't know where the old compound is, and I will succeed in doing nothing more than getting myself killed. How will that be of any help to us?
I could ask Elara to tell me more, to take me to the yez with her. But I already know she won’t listen. If she finds out I've eavesdropped on her conversation, she will be livid. She won’t hesitate to chain me to the bed, as she’d threatened before.
So, really, there is only one option left: I must ask Marisa to make a sacrifice for our friendship that is way beyond its time. I must ask her if she will take Ceres and me back to the yez, risking arrest—and maybe worse—because we are both fugitives. I have to convince her; there is no other way.
There is a knock on the door. I open it, and Marisa stands silhouetted in the near darkness with her bags of goods.
I walk with her to the library. She glances over her shoulder repeatedly. She knows something is wrong; she is waiting for me to tell her if I want to. When she sets the bags down, I take a deep breath. "I have to leave."
She straightens up and turns to look at me, her eyes somber. "What's happened?"
I open my mouth to answer, but it's as if my vocal chords are paralyzed. I shake my head and try again. "It's...Coal. They've captured him. He might...he might die." My voice breaks on the word die. It can’t happen. It simply cannot.
Marisa’s hand flies to her mouth. "Where will you go?"
"To the yez, first, to find out what information I can. It's the only place I can think of to go." I step forward. "You have to take Daliya and me tonight. Please."
Marisa's throat works, as if she is trying to gather the strength to say no. I cannot fault her this; if she refuses, it is because she values her life. I have no right to ask what I'm asking. She hangs her head. Then, looking up at me, she says, "I'll come by once I’ve gathered some supplies for you and Daliya."
I take her hands. "Thank you. This means more to me than you know."
She squeezes mine back. "What about the baby? You're so close to giving birth...and the stress. It's not good for you. What if you’re caught?"
I shake my head. "It's pointless, us being a family, without Coal. I’ve been arriving at that conclusion for some time now. Without him..." I trail off and shake my head, unable to continue. Tears fall from my eyes and stain the wool of my tunic.
Marisa takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I’ll do what I can."