CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

I can barely see him. “Shale?” My voice quavers in the darkness.

But he steps away. Unwilling to let go of the warmth of his body, the solid muscle that tells me he’s alive, I reach for him, but grasp the air. Then there’s a click of a lantern and I can see him.

He stands just a foot away, tall and serious. His brown eyes stare into me. Relief floods my veins, turning my bones to taffy. I sag against the wall, exhaling in a great breath. He's okay. He's whole. And he's really here.

Once my brain has processed that information, I feel the thick rope of doubt begin to tug at me. Have things changed? Has he moved on? Why is he staring at me like that, so serious?

But then he smiles. And in that smile is everything I need to know. Nothing has changed for him. He’s been waiting, just as I have. His arms reach for me and, smiling, I step forward. Ecstasy, hope, and love flood my brain. It is only when his gaze drops down to the sling that I remember: we have a new addition Shale hasn’t yet met.

His smile fades, but his eyes are full of wonder. "The baby?" he whispers, unable, it seems, to tear his eyes from the top of his son’s head.

"Yes.” I undo the knots to the sling on my back. “Today's his birth day."

The baby snuffles and Shale puts his hand under his tiny back, supporting his weight on one forearm. He leans down, and ever so gently, plants a kiss on the baby's forehead. Then he looks up. "You said 'he.'"

I smile. "It’s a boy. He surprised me." Elara was right after all.

Shale comes forward and wraps me with one arm, the other still supporting the baby, who has now fallen fast asleep. He touches my mouth with his, a soft, warm meeting of the lips.

"I'm so glad you found me," he whispers. "I hoped you’d remember to come back here.” His eyes rove my face. “I've missed you." Then he looks over at Ceres, who’s been watching quietly this whole time. “I’ve missed you too, you know.” He walks over to her and pulls her into a hug. After a moment, I see her thin arms wind around his torso, clutching him tight as if he is a lifesaver and she is stranded at sea.

I blink back tears. Staying with Elara, being captured by the women, having the baby in a cellar—it has all led me here, to this one inevitable moment. And we are okay. We are all okay. When Shale walks back to me, I kiss him again, the baby cradled between us. "We are never going to be apart again."

He chuckles, but his eyes glisten with unshed tears. "I can live with that." He strokes the curve of the baby's cheek. "What's his name?"

"I didn't name him," I say. "I wanted you to be able to choose."

Shale smiles. "Thank you."

I lean into his chest and we both gaze down at our child. "Ceres says she's going to call him Little Love until we figure something out."

Shale laughs softly. "Then let's figure something out quickly." After a pause, he says, "Do you want to name him after the New Amanian conventions? Something from the ground since he's a boy?"

"No." I say it quickly, without even thinking. After the lies, after all the oppression, the last thing I want to do is pass on those broken customs to my child. He is not beneath me or anyone else.

"I agree," Shale says. Then: "What do you think about Zephyr? It's from Greek mythology; Zephyros was the god of the west wind."

"Zephyr." I taste the name with my tongue, wrap my mouth around the airy vowels. I know what Shale is doing; by naming our child after the wind, after an ancient god, he is bucking every single New Amanian tradition he can. We are spitting in their faces, we are saying our child is unstoppable, strong like the wind, like a god, as if they even existed. I nod. "I like it. Zephyr Cannon-Underwood." I laugh. "Quite a mouthful."

"He'll wear it well." Shale's voice is full of pride.

Ceres’s voice is soft as she comes closer, to look down at the baby. “Zephyr. I l-like it, too.”

I smile at this vision of us, the baby’s three guardians clustered around him on his birth day, naming him after a god. I kiss his warm forehead and he opens his eyes to look directly into mine. “Welcome to the world, Zephyr.” I turn and look at Shale. “Now?”

He smiles. “Now we build a life of our own.”