Ice, Rice, or Mice:
Has This Ever Happened to You?
My Diet Coke had gotten warm, so I asked the waiter for “some more ice.” A few minutes later, instead of the ice, he brought me another bowl of rice.
I said “more ice”; he heard “more rice.”
So the question is: Whose fault was it?
I guess you could blame it on my New York accent. And, good thing I didn’t say “some ice”…or I might have ended up with…you know…some mice!
It happens all the time: we say something that is crystal clear in our own mind, and yet the person on the receiving end hears something completely different. The ice vs. rice mix-up was a relatively low-cost, low-stakes mistake (and, I actually wanted some more rice anyway), but what if the stakes were higher? What are the potential costs when a work-related message is lost in translation?
As mentioned in the introduction, earlier in my career I worked for a (now-defunct) themed entertainment design and production company in L.A. that produced audio-animatronic robotic figures for theme parks around the world. That was the project I managed in Shenzhen, China, in which I used visual thinking and visual communication—more specifically, drawing and gesturing, aka Pictionary and Charades—to communicate. But that was only one part of the story. I haven’t yet discussed the serious and incredibly embarrassing (and costly!) miscommunication that occurred before we even arrived there.
To set the scene: A brand-new client, a theme park in Shenzhen, China, ordered a menagerie of life-sized robotic animals to be placed at various locations within their new theme park: three elephants, three sheep, and two cows. And my job, as the project manager, was to make sure they got designed and built, shipped from L.A. to China, and then installed to be fully operational in time for the grand opening which I would be flying all the way to China to attend.
It was my first-ever time as a project manager, as well as my first-ever trip outside of the United States, and I was so proud that everything was going according to plan. When finally installed, the giant elephants trumpeted and sprayed water from their trunks; the wooly sheep moved their heads, wagged their tails, and baaaa-ed; and the friendly cows chewed and mooo-ed. They all looked so real that the tourists initially believed that they were actually live animals.
So, “What went wrong?” you may be thinking.
Well, as it turned out, the client was completely confused by, and upset with, what they received, because what they wanted was not two “cows,” but two “water buffaloes”!
Talk about lost in translation! When the client had ordered the two “cows” (by phone and fax—this was in the old days, pre-email and pre-internet), our expert design team did some research and determined that a Chinese yellow cow was what the client wanted.
And as a young, newbie, first-time project manager, who was I to question the judgment of our experienced and highly-skilled senior design team?
But despite all the design sketches, engineering drawings, and mock-up models that were created in order to produce the life-sized finished product, no one—including me—ever once thought to check in with the client to ask: “Is this what you want?” In hindsight, it’s insane that we didn’t do that. But of course (as the classic, visually-oriented metaphor goes), hindsight is 20/20.
So, what the client ended up with was two out-of-place mechanical yellow cows standing in a simulated rice paddy field where two water buffaloes should have been. To put this into perspective, this would be like placing a kangaroo on an American dairy farm. So out of place and incongruous as to be ridiculous. And all it would have taken to avoid this happening was to have simply stopped—at any earlier phase in the process—and asked the client: “Is this what you mean?”
Six Simple Tips to Keep in Mind to Help Avoid Similar Miscommunication
When it comes to communication, you can’t control the other party; you can only control yourself and what you say, ask, respond, and do. Here are six simple-yet-powerful tips to help you avoid potential misunderstandings in any personal or work situation:
1. People are not mind readers: One time, a manager asked me, “Did that package come in yet?” When I asked, “Which package?” her sarcastic response was: “The one I’ve been waiting for—which one do you think!” OK…that was helpful, thanks for clarifying.
When communicating, use empathy to put yourself in the shoes of your listener (or reader, in the case of written communication), try to see things through their eyes, and ask yourself if your message is self-explanatory from their perspective…not from yours. And if not, then simplify and clarify. When on the receiving end of an ambiguous communication, it’s always best to ask for clarification rather than to get the message wrong and potentially head down the wrong path based on false interpretations or assumptions.
2. Validate understanding: A boss once casually said to me, as we were strolling down the hall to a meeting, “That’s a good point. We should look into that.” A week later he asked me why I hadn’t gotten back to him with an answer. I asked, “An answer to what?” To which he responded, “I thought I asked you to look into that issue and get back to me!” Apparently, that “we” (of “we should look into that”) meant “me.”
So, keep in mind Stephen Covey’s Habit #5 (from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People): “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Clarify that you’re on the same page, especially if there is any potential for misinterpretation.
One of my mantras, and one of my strongest recommendations, is to always think in terms of “Who’s doing What by When.” If you do not clearly establish responsibility and accountability, define exactly what needs to be done (that is, the deliverable), and agree on a delivery date, there’s a very good chance that expectations will not be met. And it’s one thing to confirm this verbally, but when you put it in writing—even in a simple text or email, although a more formalized progress report may be necessary—you will dramatically increase the odds of the right things getting done the right way.
3. Read between the lines: Peter Drucker said that the most important part of communication is to hear what isn’t being said. In a classic joke from one of the old Pink Panther movies, a guy asks the hotel clerk, “Does your dog bite?” After getting bitten while trying to pet the dog, the guy exclaims, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” The clerk’s reply? “That is not my dog.”
Keep an eye out for cues and clues as you seek to answer “the question behind the question” (also the title of an excellent book by John G. Miller, by the way). In other words, what is the other person really asking or looking for? This is especially important when meeting with a boss, client, or an interviewer. For example, if an interviewer were to ask you, “Have you ever done this type of work before?” don’t take the question literally and simply answer with a “yes” or a “no.” What they are really asking is, “Are you capable of doing this type of work here, in the future?” So that’s the question you need to answer.
4. It’s not just your words—but your tone of voice and body language: Let’s say your manager questions you regarding the actions of one of your direct reports and you respond with the following simple, seven-word sentence. Notice how the meaning changes based solely on the word being emphasized:
I never asked him to do that! (that is, someone else must have asked him to);
I never asked him to do that! (emphatic denial that you ever made that request);
I never asked him to do that! (that is, you asked someone else to do it);
I never asked him to do that! (emphatic denial of the action taken);
I never asked him to do that! (that is, you asked him to do something else).
Be aware of how you say what you say (especially in emails or texts, where tone of voice is inferred by the message recipient!). A misinterpretation can completely distort your message and your intentions, as well as negatively impact the relationship. Be very aware of how your message could be misconstrued, because if there’s any possibility it could happen, it most likely will. Just as in my “ice vs. rice” example, the burden of responsibility is on the communicator.
5. Use visuals, nonverbal cues, analogies, and metaphors to get your ideas across: Words don’t always speak for themselves. Again, that’s why a picture is worth a thousand of them. So, whenever possible, point, gesture, or use illustrations, diagrams, examples, metaphors, analogies, etc., to clarify your meaning and increase your odds of being understood.
Remember that when it comes to metaphors, analogies, and examples, be sure to use ones that your audience/listener/reader will understand and be able to relate to. A baseball analogy (something, you can probably tell, I tend to use often) may not resonate with someone who doesn’t know anything about baseball, but something different could—like soccer, or theater, or nature. Seeing a situation from your audience’s point of view and speaking their language will go a long way.
6. Be careful with jargon and acronyms: They make for a great communicational shorthand with people who are “in the know,” but end up having the opposite effect on people who are not. For example, I used to work at Liquidnet in their corporate university known, internally, as “LNU.” When a senior manager told one of his new employees to get some information from LNU, she wasted hours searching the company for a nonexistent employee named “Ellen Yu.”
At a networking event, I once mentioned that I used to work for the “AMA.” The guy thought I was talking about the American Medical Association, and the woman thought I meant the American Marketing Association, when I was actually talking about the American Management Association. Exact same initials; entirely different organizations; complete confusion.
Every industry, company, department, and function has its own language. So, it’s always best to define acronyms and/or jargon the first time they’re being used…just to be sure. And if you’re unsure on the receiving end, it’s always best to just ask rather than operating under potentially mistaken assumptions.
Since effective communication is the key to any relationship and the primary unit of interaction and exchange in most of our work, it’s more important than ever to make sure that we are heard and understood correctly—and that others correctly hear and understand us. And, if you are the communicator, the ball is in your court to get it right.
Take it from me…so that you don’t end up with a bowl of rice the next time you want a glass of ice.
Or, even worse, a cow…when what you really needed was a water buffalo.
In Review
The Big Lesson: In brief, the burden of communication is on the communicator, so it is crucial to be self-aware and conscientious…and seek to view the conversation from your listener’s or reader’s point of view.
The Big Question: What are some of the biggest communication snafus you’ve ever experienced firsthand, what did you learn from them, and what can, or will, you do differently in the future as a result?
Your Big Insight:
Your Big Action: