(Day 8, Saturday: Port of Spain, Trinidad)
Charles wondered if an hour and a half of sleep qualified as more than a catnap? He’d tossed and turned restlessly before finally dropping off around four.
He was up and circling the jogging track by five-thirty. As he worked his body, his head raced with thoughts of Diane. She’d turned him down once and he’d sworn he’d never be fool enough to give her another opportunity. Wounded pride had been the enabler that had allowed him to keep his distance. He’d told himself she was all wrong for him.
Was he yet again about to shoot himself in the foot? Or was he just addicted to Diane’s unique brand of heartache? Damn it! He was tired of fighting his feelings for her. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t enjoy the food or any of the other diversions available on board this luxury liner. Yeah, he wanted her, badly. Could he ever really trust her to keep her word? Would she disappoint him again?
He was no closer to an answer by the time he started swimming laps in the pool. He had known from the first how deeply she affected him. Yet it wasn’t until their estrangement that he’d accepted how much she really meant to him. He would never forget the day he’d erupted with fury because she stubbornly clung to their friendship, refusing to even consider more. Even though he’d turned his back and walked away, the pain of losing her hadn’t ever disappeared.
By the time he’d showered and changed into jeans and a blue-and-white sport shirt, he was thoroughly annoyed with himself. Once again he was focusing on the past. Hell! He’d made mistakes, too. He had been the one to strike out with angry, cruel words.
The Diane he had spent time with last evening was different. She was more open, more giving than ever before. She had even gone so far as to agree to his terms. She deserved a chance to prove that she had changed. She sure in hell had responded to his caresses and kisses. He just had to take care not to move too fast. They both needed time to adjust to this new situation. His heart accelerated at the thought of seeing her again.
“You’re early.” Diane joined him at one of the small tables on the sun deck.
His smile was warm and welcoming. “Yeah. I’ve been up for hours. Trying to keep the old bod in shape.” His voice dropped when he asked, “How are you?”
Diane laughed, her lovely peach-tinted lips drawing his appreciative gaze. “Great! But you look a little tired. Are you sure you didn’t overdo your workout this morning?” She looked fresh and lovely in bright orange shorts and a camp shirt.
“A few turns around the track? You’re starting to sound like my baby sister. That girl acts like she’s four years older than I am, rather than the other way around,” he chuckled.
Diane smiled, wishing she’d had an opportunity to meet his family. They hadn’t had an intimate relationship. She suppressed a sigh, realizing she wanted to know everything there was to know about him. “How is Eliz? How are her boys?”
“Nosy,” Charles said with a hearty laugh, his eyes dancing. “Both of my nephews have really grown. You’d think Eliz has enough to do with keeping track of her family and working for the company. But no, she still manages to find time to try and run my life.” He paused before asking, “How’s your mom?”
Diane frowned, suddenly fascinated with her hands held tightly in her lap. “Busy. She’s in New York, shopping and taking in the shows. About what I said earlier, I didn’t mean...”
“I’m not offended, Diane.” He lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. “In fact, I’m pleased by your concern. Hungry?”
“Uh-huh.” She smiled, about to rise.
“Relax,” he said, sliding his chair back. “I’ll get it. What would you like?” he gestured toward the elaborate breakfast buffet.
“Grits with cheese and sausage.”
They both laughed.
“I don’t think they have that.”
“Pancakes and strawberries.”
“No eggs and bacon?”
“Boring.”
“Be right back.”
Charles filled both their plates and returned. They were halfway through their meal when he asked, “When are you going to admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“How we managed to be on the same cruise ship at the same time.”
“You still think I followed you?”
“Yeah,” his eyes glinted with laughter. “Admit it.”
“Never.”
His laugh was deep and throaty, and Diane was thrilled that his keen sense of humor was evident. This was the Charles Randol she had fallen in love with. This was the man who had always been there for her. He was strong and dependable.
Perhaps they could have a new beginning. She was almost giddy from the possibility. Dear God, don’t let me mess this up, she thought.
“What’s wrong?”
Diane blinked, realizing how closely he’d been watching her. “Tell me about the accident... please.”
He sighed heavily before he began. “I left the community center late that night. I was tired. I suddenly realized I was speeding. When I tried to slow the car, the brakes failed. I ended up going through the guardrail and into a tree.”
She touched his hand. “You’re lucky to be alive!”
“It was an accident. I’m almost back to normal. Let’s talk about you.”
Diane nodded. She pushed her plate away, her appetite gone. “I’ve been fine... working hard. Tell me about the kids at the center?”
“The kids I work with there don’t come from two parent middle-class homes like we do, sweet cheeks. Most of them come from families with no male in the household. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying every single-parent household fails.”
Diane knew all about a single-parent household. She also knew about poverty and neglect. But unlike Charles, she hadn’t read about it; she’d lived it. She shuddered, pushing back the memories that were no longer a part of her life to a place she never intended to revisit. She’d made a new life for herself.
“... Some of the boys at the center are gang members.”
“Charles! You can’t be serious ...” She didn’t share Charles’s and Heather’s eagerness to get involved with the downtrodden. It was what she had done her best to forget. Why couldn’t they see that putting themselves at risk didn’t change a blasted thing?
“I’m damn serious about helping these kids. And I’m not about to let a few thugs get in my way. We’re losing another generation of African-American males. Somebody has got to do something about it. Can you imagine how I felt after reading Kunjufu? In my view the brother is the leading educational consultant and author on the subject. Di, I had to become involved.” When he saw the worry etched across her soft brown features, he said, “Let’s talk about something a bit more pleasant... a bit more personal.” He took her hand. “Have you given what we talked about last night more thought?”
“Don’t change the subject. This kind of stuff can be dangerous. I couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.”
“I won’t take unnecessary risks... I promise.”
Diane sighed. It looked as if she would have to be satisfied with that. But she still didn’t like it... not one bit.
“Now, about last night. Have you thought about us?”
She nodded; her pulse accelerated. “That’s all I’ve been able to think about. I...”
“Hello, you two,” Jeanette Parks said, with a wide smile. “Up early, I see, Diane.”
“Morning, Jeanette.” Diane offered a welcoming smile before she introduced the two of them.
“My pleasure,” Charles said, having risen to his feet. “Enjoying the cruise, Ms. Parks?”
“Without a doubt. Please, call me Jeanette. We’re practically old friends. I saw you sitting at the bar our first night out.”
Charles blinked in surprise, suddenly realizing that Jeanette was the gorgeous leggy woman who’d eyed him with frank feminine interest. The instant he’d noticed Diane, all else had gone right out of his head. Naturally, he’d seen the two of them together on several occasions, but he hadn’t made the connection until now.
“Care to join us?” Diane asked.
“No, thanks. I need to get changed. A very nice man has persuaded me to go sightseeing with him today. Trinidad awaits! Have fun, you two.” She squeezed Diane’s shoulder before she hurried on.
“I don’t doubt that for a minute,” Charles murmured beneath his breath as he sat down.
“Doubt what?” Diane sipped papaya juice.
“Your friend’s power to persuade. Every time I see the woman, she’s with a different guy. She’s got to have a revolving door on her cabin.”
Diane swallowed with difficulty. That was exactly what he had always thought of her. How had Diane forgotten so quickly? She felt as if her heart had crumbled into a thousand tiny pieces as she very carefully folded her napkin and placed it beside her plate. She said, “If you will excuse me, I...”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t want an argument.” Her eyes filled with tears. Quickly, she turned her face away. His hand on her arm prevented her from rising. She hissed, “In another minute you’ll be comparing me to Jeanette.”
“No, baby. I didn’t mean anything. It was a stupid, thoughtless comment. I wasn’t even thinking about you.”
“Just last night you said...” She could not go on. She bit her bottom lip in hopes of controlling the tremor.
“Yeah. I’ve said some cruel and mean things out of jealousy.” He sighed, before he went on to say, “We both know how to hurt each other. In fact, we’re damn good at it. But, baby, that was before... before we talked.” He tilted her chin so she was forced to meet his eyes. “I want another chance with you, Diane. I want to start again. And I want it to be right this time. I think we can make it work, baby.”
Diane was trembling. She said, in a whisper, “Oh, Chuck. I don’t know if it’s possible.”
“If we both want it and we’re honest with each other, I don’t see why not. Everything is possible, sweet cheeks. Let’s pretend we met last night. Let’s use this cruise to really get to know each other. What do you say?”
She’d waited an eternity to hear him say those magical words. Nonetheless, fear swelled inside of her... momentarily overshadowing even her love for him. Their estrangement had been a living hell. At long last, he was reaching out to her. Was she strong enough to try?
Diane visually caressed the lines of his face, lingering on his beautiful eyes as if she could find the courage she needed from within their ebony depths. Sincerity and determination were evident in the angles of his strong jaw.
“Diane?”
His entire body was taut with tension as he waited for her response. It seemed like a lifetime before she slid her hand into his.
“Yes. Let’s try.”
His smile was warm. “Great. Ready to tour Trinidad? I know of a tiny, out-of-the-way restaurant that serves the best chowder in the Caribbean. Interested?”