“Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?”
There was a heavy silence that Diane didn’t even try to fill. She was overwhelmed by what had just happened between them. She had thought she knew what to expect. But she hadn’t been prepared for the blazing hot pleasure or the lingering contentment which followed, a contentment that Charles evidently didn’t share. She yearned to hide from the condemnation she thought she heard in his voice as she struggled to find an answer.
Eventually she said, “I didn’t think it mattered.”
Charles couldn’t believe her reasoning. Knowing would have saved him countless hours of anguish. For years, he’d been tormented, envisioning her making love with every man she’d dated. He had blamed her, left her for nothing. Well, not quite nothing, since she hadn’t been willing to see only him. The things he had thought, the cruel accusations he had made, had caused them both needless pain.
“It mattered, Diane, because I care about you. Everything about you matters to me. It would have saved us so much grief.”
Diane was at a loss for words. It was happening too fast. Her whole world felt as if it had been turned upside down. She didn’t understand her own emotions, let alone his. She’d been alone for so long. She was not prepared for this kind of caring. It was all so new to her. She had no frame of reference... no comparison. He was handing her what she had longed for for too long. She was what was important to Charles. She hadn’t made a mistake in trusting him with her heart, with her body. Why was he angry?
“Perhaps I should have told you,” she said, so softly that he barely heard her. “But that shouldn’t make you angry. You’re supposed to be relieved that I didn’t sleep with half a dozen men.”
“I’m not angry with you because you were a virgin. I guess I’m upset that you didn’t trust me with the truth. You lied to me by keeping this from me.”
Tears flooded her gaze and she turned away. Suddenly Diane was ashamed, embarrassed by her nudity. She grabbed the sheet and quickly tugged it over herself as she eased toward the edge of the bed.
Caught up in his own sense of betrayal and feelings of downright stupidity, he didn’t take note of the hurt in her brown eyes. “Where do you think you’re going?” He knew he sounded angry. But damn it, he had a right to his feelings. How could they ever have a future if she didn’t trust him?
But she was already on the floor, yanking at the sheet in an effort to free it.
“Diane!”
“No!” she hissed at him, as she rounded the foot of the bed. “You’ve said enough for both of us. Too much, in fact.” Her face burned as she searched the floor for her panties.
Oblivious to his own nudity, he reached down for her. Catching her by the shoulders, he pulled her up and held on. “Why? Why did you let me think you were sleeping around?”
“I’m not responsible for your beliefs! What did I do that was so terrible? Make love with the one man I care about? I did nothing that deserves this kind of anger.” Suddenly she was livid. “Let me go!” Planting both hands against his chest, she pushed hard. He didn’t budge. Blinded by tears, she was forced to stop and brush them away. “What in the hell did you do with my panties?”
“Baby...” he said, his heart melting. Finally, Diane had admitted that he was the only man she cared about. Furthermore she’d proved it. She had chosen him to be her lover... him.
“Don’t you baby me, you big jerk! This is a big ship. If we work at it, I’m sure we don’t have to see each other— ever!” She spotted her dress, but he held on to her. “Will you let go of me?”
“Never,” he said, as he swung her up into his arms. She kicked and hit at him, throwing him off balance. They came down on the bed together. The heavy weight of his muscled thigh across hers held her in place. “Stop it. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” His voice dropped and he chuckled throatily. “Never mind. Don’t stop. I like the way you feel.” His eyes were twinkling with amusement.
Diane was furious. But she stopped instantly when she realized she was rubbing her nipples against his chest and the soft curls covering her sex against his inner thigh. He was aroused.
“I hate you!”
“Well, I’m crazy about you, sweet cheeks,” he said, rubbing her hips. Charles chuckled watching her blush. He grinned realizing how lucky he was. Instead of yelling at her, he should be kissing her pretty feet. He was the only man she cared enough to give herself to.
“I don’t see anything funny.”
“No? How about me? I’ve been a jealous fool.”
Diane turned her head away. He sighed. When he lifted his thigh, he was relieved when she didn’t attempt to leave his side. She wouldn’t look at him, either.
“Why? Central State had no shortage of men; for that matter, neither does Detroit. Why did you wait so long?”
“What difference does it make?” she said cautiously.
“I’d like to understand.”
“I’ve never been in love before. It just seemed pointless without the love.”
“You made me very happy tonight,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I’m so glad you waited, and I’m thrilled that you chose me to be your lover. I should have told you that earlier. Can you forgive me?”
“No!” But it didn’t come out with the vehemence she’d intended. She was surrounded by his blatant masculinity. All she had to do was relax and she’d be back where she wanted to be, in his arms.
Charles kissed her along the side of her neck down to the base of her throat. Diane trembled, responding in spite of herself to his warmth and tenderness.
“Diane... let me hold you... please,” he said, against her throat.
Diane moaned softly, her arms going around his trim waist as she clung to him. He showered her with gentle kisses, craving her warmth and sweetness.
“Chucky...” she whispered, returning his kisses. Her soft hands explored the hard planes of his chest and stomach, needing to love and be loved by him. Oh yes, this was what she wanted... what she’d always wanted... Charles. Unfortunately, it had taken her years to discover it. She had once foolishly turned her back on his love because she’d been afraid to show him how she felt about him.
When his lips opened over hers, sliding his tongue into her sweet mouth, he gave her the rough heat of his stroking tongue. Diane was lost in a sensual maze. His hot, wet tongue moved down her body across her shoulders to the fragrant valley between her breasts. Eventually he licked the ripe outer curve of a breast.
“You’re so lovely,” he murmured. He caressed the soft skin along her rib cage, down her flat stomach, and over her beautifully round behind. He palmed her, squeezing.
When he smoothed up the sensitive baby softness of her inner thighs, Diane closed herself off to his caress.
“I only want to touch you, baby. I know it’s too soon for more. I’m sorry I had to hurt you. Are you very sore?”
Diane blushed, shocked by his candor. She finally mumbled, “I’m fine, but I need to freshen up.”
Charles knew better than to suggest the obvious—that they both take advantage of that huge tub in the next room. His breath quickened and his sex lengthened at the thought. He ignored his desire in deference to her modesty.
“I’ll wait for you here.”
Diane’s face became even hotter when she asked, “Do you mind if I take the sheet?”
Charles hid his smile. “Use my robe. It’s on the hook inside the door.”
“But...”
“Why don’t I order a snack? It should be here by the time you finish.” He turned his back to her, reaching for the telephone on the nightstand.
Diane didn’t waste any time. She hurried into the bathroom. Leaning against the sink for support, she stared at herself in the wide mirror. She didn’t look any different. Her dark eyes were large with disbelief and confusion. She’d gotten what she’d wanted... well, almost. Her knees were shaking so badly she had to hold on to keep from falling. Her life had changed drastically, and she was still scared... scared of her vulnerability... scared because a part of herself must always stay hidden.
Suddenly, she smiled, thoroughly pleased with herself. There was an unfamiliar ache deep inside her womanly center. She’d done it! She had done the wild thing! What’s more, she had loved every minute of it. Well, maybe not every second. It had hurt badly at first... but then... oh my, the fireworks had begun.
It wasn’t at all what she’d expected. She was so glad that it wasn’t the dirty, disgusting act she’d witnessed as a child.
As she watched the tub fill, she remembered waking from a bad dream. She could not have been more than six at the time. She had tiptoed into her mother’s room seeking comfort, something she’d never found there. Lillie hadn’t been alone ... which wasn’t unusual. What was different was that the door had been left open. Diane had been terrified, certain the man was hurting her mother. Lillie had been furious when Diane had hurled her small body at the man’s bare back, kicking and biting him in her determination to make him leave her mother alone. Lillie had flung her away, screaming at Diane to get the hell out and mind her own damn business. Diane shuddered, sliding into the soothing warmth of the water, suppressing the hated memory. It was best forgotten. Now was all that mattered.
Tonight had been so special. Not even the past could shatter her happiness. Charles had made it special for her. More important, she knew that she had pleased him... pleased him in ways she hadn’t dreamed herself capable of. She had taken him inside her body and loved him. She pressed her cheeks, certain she was blushing. Despite the initial pain, it had been almost magical. And she couldn’t wait to see him again.
She emerged from the bathroom, swamped by his beige silk robe. The silver tray on the nightstand boasted a crystal bowl filled with fresh strawberries, a bottle of champagne, and two crystal fluted glasses. Charles was right where she’d left him, stretched across the king-sized bed, only now he wore navy silk pajama bottoms. The only light came from a lamp in the sitting-room area. Diane spotted her dress, panties, and pantyhose neatly folded in a nearby chair. She blushed.
He held out a hand to her. She came down beside him, lacing her fingers with his. They smiled at each other.
“What took you so long?” he complained, smoothing dark curls away from her forehead.
“Miss me?” she teased, pressing her lips against the side of his neck as she snuggled against his side, not wanting to think past the sweetness of the moment.
Her soft breath on his chest sent shivers of desire flaring through his system. His hands were gentle on her back as he caressed her. “Yeah. Can I interest you in a glass of champagne?” he asked, although he didn’t particularly want to move. He liked having her here, curled against him. He wasn’t thrilled about the material separating them, but he was determined to give her the time she needed to get used to him. He smiled to himself as he recalled the wonderful gift she had given him. His heart swelled with love.
“Why not?”
As Charles poured, he watched her. She was propped against the pillows, her soft breasts doing exciting things to his robe, her large nipples clearly outlined against the silk.
“You look better in that robe than I do,” he chuckled at her look of surprise. He handed her a glass and sat facing her. The dish of strawberries rested between them on the bed.
“Shall I offer a toast?” She smiled playfully, realizing how happy she was.
“Please,” he grinned.
“To us...”
“Yes... to us.”
They clinked glasses. By the time she’d drained her glass and they’d emptied the bowl, Diane was so sleepy she could hardly keep her eyes open. Charles’s eyes were dark and loving as he relieved her of the glass before moving to turn off the lamp. She curled up against him as if they’d been sleeping together since the beginning of time. It felt right to lie with her cheek over his heart.
“You’re awfully quiet,” she whispered. “Are you sleepy?”
He kissed her palm before placing it over his heart. “Feel that. Feel how my heart is racing. I’m not the least bit sleepy. I’ve waited for what seems like forever to have you in bed with me. Do you have any idea how I’ve fantasized about this?”
She snuggled closer to him her arms clasped around his waist. “I didn’t know, but I’m glad.” She’d never felt so safe, so protected, as she did right now with him. He cared about her... even loved her a little.
“Di, help me understand. Why me? Why now?”
“I told you... I love you.”
“We’ve been friends for years. We’ve loved each other for years.”
“No, not just loved each other. This is different. I don’t just love you, Charles. I’m in love with you.”
For an instant, Charles forgot to breathe. He recovered enough so when he crushed her to him he was careful not to hurt her. Not being able to see her had been a living hell for him. He’d given up hope of ever having the kind of devotion and love he craved from her. Here she was, handing him both on a silver platter.
“Oh, Diane... baby.” He kissed her over and over again.
Diane responded wantonly to his male sweetness. His tongue swept inside her mouth ... he took... he caressed... he savored. Charles nearly forgot his decision not to make love to her again tonight. He ended the kiss, then hugged her to him.
“Chuck...”
“Mmmm?”
“Did I please you? In bed, I mean. Did I satisfy you?”
“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” He’d never wanted a woman more, nor had he known such pleasure with another. Diane was special.
“I thought...”
He nestled against her throat. “Yes, absolutely. You’re so special... so hot and wet and tight. Oh, baby... I want you now,” he said close to her ear. “I want to make you scream my name again as you climax. I’m already hard just thinking about being inside you.”
Thrilled, Diane began to explore his chest and taut stomach. The instant her soft hand reached his waistband he released the snap, allowing her access to his body. Diane hesitated an instant before exploring the dense thicket of black hair surrounding his sex. He recovered his sanity and caught her hand before she could stroke the length of his pulsating organ.
“No, baby. I can’t stand that.”
“But you said...”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You didn’t mean it.”
“I meant it... every word. It was wonderful... you were wonderful.”
“You just don’t want me to touch you,” she whispered.
“It feels good... too good. I can’t take the softness of your hands without exploding. .. climaxing. I prefer to be inside you, baby. But it’s too soon for you. I’ve already hurt you once tonight. Let’s just take this one step at a time, okay?”
Diane blushed profusely. She didn’t know what to say. She flushed with excitement at being with him. She pressed her lips against his ever so briefly.
Charles held her close but did nothing to complete their intimacy, pretending her cushiony soft breasts with their chocolate-brown tips weren’t driving him nuts.
“Diane, I want you to promise me something, okay?”
“Yes.”
“This is important to me.”
“What?”
“I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us. I want us to be up front with each other. I care about you, woman. I don’t want anything or anyone to come between us. And secrets do that.”
Diane’s heart suddenly started pounding with dread. How could she keep such a promise? There was so much about herself she could never tell him, so much she hadn’t ever told anyone. Charles wouldn’t understand. He’d grown up in a loving family with comfort, while she’d grown up with uncertainty and fear. What did he know about poverty? Or being totally alone in the world with no one to care whether you lived or died?
She wanted his respect. She’d worked hard to turn herself into the well-educated woman she faced in the mirror every day. She couldn’t go back. And if she told him about the past, she would destroy any chance they might have for a future together.
“Diane... I want that promise.”
What choice did she have? She loved him; she had to say the words and pray that he never discovered the truth. “I promise.”
“Honey, you’re shivering. Are you cold?”
“Hold me... please.”
He held her close. His head was full of plans for their future. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his full lips.
***
When he woke the next morning, he was alone. The pillow next to his held the imprint of her head, and her sweet scent lingered. He scowled with disappointment when he discovered she’d left without waking him.
Diane was so tense that by the time she’d joined Charles for breakfast, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to eat. Her stomach was a tangle of butterflies. Uneasiness had sent her hurrying from his bed at the break of dawn.
“Good morning,” she mumbled, unwilling to meet his dark, intense gaze as she took the chair across from him.
It had taken all her strength to face him again. She would be crushed if he was disappointed, or worse, regretted their lovemaking. It was all so new to her! How would a sophisticated woman handle a situation like this? She certainly wouldn’t be terrified to see her lover. Diane was being silly and she knew it. There just didn’t seem to be a whole lot she could do about it.
A frown drew his heavy brows into a straight line. “How are you?”
Diane, busy smoothing the napkin in her lap, said, “I’m fine. How are you?” She looked everywhere but at him.
“Did you get any sleep?”
“A little.” She couldn’t control the flush that rushed over her features. She wore a pretty blue sundress which did delightful things to her soft brown skin and left the creamy expanse of her arms and her shoulders bare. But it was her trembling pink-tinted lips that captured his attention. Suddenly, her soft, generous mouth formed an enchanting smile as the memory of their sweet kisses filled her thoughts and her large topaz eyes finally met his.
Charles’s frown vanished.
“How about you? I mean, you were sleeping soundly when I left.”
“Why did you leave?”
“Good morning. Coffee?” A waiter picked that moment to appear.
“Diane?”
“Tea for me, please.”
“Sir?”
“Yes, thanks,” Charles said. Then he realized that his hungry stare was contributing to her embarrassment. He pushed back his chair. Nothing this morning was going the way he’d like it to. She was uncomfortable in his presence. He wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. Just the thought of losing her now disturbed him... perhaps terrified was the more appropriate word. Was he expecting too much too soon? “I’ll get our food. Preferences?”
She shook her head. “No, thank you. I’m not hungry.”
“Fruit?”
She shrugged. She didn’t breathe easy until he walked away. He was surely angry now. She was making such a mess of things. Diane felt like dropping her head in her hands and having a good cry.
He glanced at her from the breakfast buffet. He had rushed away before he’d done something that would really embarrass her, such as sampling her beautiful mouth the way he’d been yearning to do from the moment she’d joined him at the table. His preference had nothing to do with food.
He ached to hold her. He didn’t relish the idea of sharing her with anyone. Charles would much rather have awakened with her still in his bed. He would have made slow, leisurely love to her this morning. Then, later, he’d have gladly ordered anything she wanted from room service. Their meal should have been in the privacy of his stateroom, where he could have indulged them both. He would have dearly loved to feed her all the pancakes and strawberries she could hold, but from a tray in his bed.
If he had his druthers, they’d spend the entire day in bed with him introducing her to the art of lovemaking. He had only one goal, to cement their relationship.
Whether she knew it or not, she was his woman now. She had made the decision last night when she’d given herself to him. Hadn’t she told him she was in love with him? He wasn’t about to let her walk away from that commitment. Yet she was tense this morning... too tense. Did she regret what had happened? It was too late to turn back the clock. They were lovers, and he intended to keep it that way.
He approached her chair from behind. His mouth settled briefly on the soft skin on the side of her neck before he put a plate down in front of her. It was brimming with her favorites.
“Charles!”
“Eat.”
“I can’t possibly eat all this.”
“Eat what you can,” he said, taking his seat. He began telling her about his most recent visit to St. Maarten.
The impersonal topic seemed to ease her nervousness. Diane was smiling when they finished their meal. A smug smile warmed his African features as he escorted her out of the dining room.
“Do you need to go back to your cabin?”
“Mmmm, I have to get my purse and hat. It won’t take a minute.”
“No rush. Philipsburg is not going anywhere.”
“Shall I meet you on the dock in, say, ten minutes?”
“I’ll go with you,” he offered.
“That’s not necessary.”
“Oh, but it is.”
Diane nodded and began telling him about the changes at Lawrence since he’d left. “I won’t be long,” she said, unlocking the cabin.
Charles held her hand before she could rush away. “How much longer do I have to wait?”
“I’ll hurry…”
He tilted her chin up. “I’m referring to a proper good morning.”
Diane blinked in dismay.
“Let me show you what I mean.”
He opened his arms to her and she came into them. Their lips met tenderly. “Hi,” he whispered in a deep masculine tone that sent tingles along her spine. “Oh, baby,” he sighed, holding her close. “That’s what I’ve been wanting since I woke and found you gone.” He gave her a hard, tongue-thrusting kiss before he dropped his arms. “Ten minutes,” he said, closing the door behind him.