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The usual clanging of pots and pans was absent this morning when I woke up. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to go back to the dream I was having about Delilah. I glanced at the clock next to my bed. The red numbers read nine o’clock in the morning. A late start for being on the ranch, but the regular ranch noise was quiet. I wondered where Dee was. She always had the house up and running before sunrise. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and reached for my walking boot. It was painful to walk in but better than crutches or the wheelchair. The first few strides sent pain radiating up my leg until it calmed down to a persistent ache. My stomach rumbled as I moved around the room.
I made my way down the hall with an awkward step, clomp. Kaleb sat at the kitchen table with the farm report crackling over the radio. The coffee pot was half full and newspapers covered every inch of the table. I poured myself a cup and took a swig. My nose wrinkled in disgust when the thick, chunky liquid filled my mouth.
“Yuck, what did you put in this?” I spit it out and dumped the rest of the pot down the drain. I proceeded to fill the pot with fresh coffee grounds and water.
“I couldn’t remember how much to put in the machine.” He shrugged, sipped his coffee, and turned the page of the newspaper he was reading.
“Where’s Delilah today?” I rummaged through the freezer and found some frozen toaster pastries and plunked them into the toaster oven.
“She needed the day off.” He turned the paper again without even looking up at me.
“Why?” A feeling of dread settled in my stomach. Something was off and I missed her already. When the pastries popped up, I gently tossed them from hand to hand before covering them with the little icing packages.
“None of my business,” he grunted and pointed his finger at me. “But you should probably figure it out.” Kaleb grabbed his coffee and shoved his hat on his head.
“Where are you going?” I clomped to the kitchen table and pulled a chair out with a loud squeak.
“To the barn. Too many dumb questions in here this morning.” The door slammed behind him as he went to the barn.
“I should figure it out,” I muttered to Zip.
He cocked his head at me and whined. I broke off a corner of the pastry and tossed it to him. He caught it out of the air, swallowed it whole, and barked for some more. I hobbled to the pantry and poured out some of his dog food in a bowl for breakfast.
“What does it mean?” I ran my fingers through my hair and scratched the back of my neck for a second before a light bulb went on. “Oh no,” I said.
My stomach hit the floor and the sick feeling washed over me that wasn’t from eating too many pastries. If I felt this way, how must she have felt about today? Like a buffoon, I forgot all about it. I fumbled for my phone and turned on the screen. It was October 10th.
“Who would know where she’s at in the middle of the week?”
I needed to see her. I needed to hold her. Zip didn’t answer, not that I’d expected him to. He was busy crunching on the hard kibble. It was the middle of the week and all of Delilah’s friends were working. Where would she go?
The only place a heartbroken girl would go would be her mother’s house. I dialed a number that I hadn’t dialed in over eleven years.
It rang a couple of times before a scratchy, tired voice answered. “Sunny’s Flowers and Gifts, how can I help you?”
“I would like to order flowers for delivery. What do you have?”
“The usual. Roses, carnations, some sunflowers, there are a few calla lilies leftover from a wedding.”
“How about two dozen roses. Make it with as many colors as you have.’
“Alright, hang on.” He put me on hold. Soft jazz played through the receiver. I hope I was right as to where she was.
“Ok, young man.” A scratchy frail voice answered. “What would you like the card to say?” I thought for a moment. Were there words to express my feelings of sorrow, regret, and inadequacy?
“How about?
‘Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising.
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For they sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.’”
“Shakespeare?” The voice wheezed.
“Yup, Sonnet 29.” A faint smile touched my lips as I remember how she loved to read Shakespeare to me on our picnics in high school.
“You must be in the doghouse, son. Where would you like them sent?”
“Yes, Sir, I am big time. To Delilah Allen. She should be at the Allen house on Fourth Street?” The line was quiet for a while. I could hear a pencil scratching.
“It’s about time, Kade Kisment, that you sent that poor girl some flowers.” The voice wheezed, again.
“Yes, Sir, it is long overdue.”
MOM WAS IN THE KITCHEN getting some lemonade and cookies together. It didn’t matter how many years had gone by because the hurt was always there. Some days, it sat in the back corner of my mind like an unwanted plant that did not wither and die. Other days, it screamed at me. Those days were the hardest for me, especially when I was at the therapeutic riding stable. Tabitha was a few years younger than my child would have been. Today, he or she should have been celebrating a birthday with their friends from school. Kade and I would have gotten married and had a bunch more children. I rubbed my abdomen slowly, remembering the pain of that day. It was something I would never forget.
“Here, you go, dear.” Mom set the tray of cookies next to me. She slid a lawn chair over and bit into a cookie. “This may make you feel better.” She waved a round golden disc covered in sugar. “It usually does.”
I forced my lips upwards as I took the sugar cookie from her. “Thanks, this is good.” The sugary goodness of the cookie burst over my tongue. They were usually my favorite, but this year it was different, especially with seeing Kade every day. It brought back memories and feelings that I buried all those years ago. A tightness spread in my chest. I breathed through the pain, but a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.
“Everything will be alright.” Mom patted my knee, before donning some sunglasses and crossing her legs. “Kade will realize that he loves you, eventually. He’s not fast on the uptake...all those concussions probably don’t help, either.” She laughed.
“My mood has nothing to do with Kade.” I scoffed and choked on my cookie. She pounded me on the back.
“Sure, it doesn’t.” She rolled her eyes at me. “You have been moody and crabby since you started working there. And I know you aren’t just doing it for the money.”
My mouth gaped at her. How could she possibly think that? Her index finger gently pushed upward on my chin, closing my mouth.
“He’s the only one that has ever driven you crazy. Not even that Greg guy that you dated for a couple of weeks. He was boring.” She patted my knee again and leaned back in her chair. There was no arguing with her. She was almost always right, especially about Greg. I couldn’t believe I dated him for as long as I did. Sure, he was a doctor, but he was bland and needy. Not my style. I grabbed another cookie when the doorbell ring.
“You going to get that?” She asked, propping her feet up on a stool.
I dragged myself up off the chair as the doorbell rang again and shuffled to the front door to see a colorful array of roses blocking the view of the delivery boy. I swung open the door.
“Are you Delilah Allen?” The teenage voice squeaked.
“Yes, I am.”
“Sign here, ma’am.” A receipt book materialized from the flowers. I signed my name with a flourish. He handed me the large bouquet and scurried away. I turned to the kitchen when I spotted the note. I ripped the envelop open and removed the card. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. My heart swelled in my chest as I read the familiar lines. How did he remember that was my favorite? In shock, I carried the flowers and the note out to the patio where Mom was relaxing in the sun.
“What have you got?” Mom tilted her sunglasses up to take in the bouquet.
“Kade sent me flowers.” I breathed. I couldn’t believe it.
“It looks like two dozen roses to be more accurate.” She pulled off her shades and admired the different colors. “I take it he remembers too.” She raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged.
“We’ve never talked about it.”
“It looks like you should.” She went back to her book.
I inhaled the scent of the roses. It was sweet and fragrant. My heart swelled. This was the first time Kade had ever acknowledged the day to me. Did he think about it too?
It was about time to find out.