Chapter Eighteen
I found a quiet time after dinner to explain to Stevie what Verity had said about him not being allowed to see Kiri and Liam. As I thought might happen, he quickly became angry and upset.
‘She’s treating me like a bloody pervert!’ he said. ‘I only did what I did because I had to.’
‘I know, but you do understand why Verity can’t allow you to see Liam and Kiri until the police have finished their investigation?’ I asked, having already explained.
‘I told the police what happened. There isn’t anything else,’ Stevie persisted, annoyed.
‘Yes, I believe you, but until the police are satisfied the social services can’t let you see or speak to Kiri or Liam. I know it’s difficult.’
‘Supposing I just go to my gran’s? I still have a key,’ he said confrontationally.
‘That would be very unwise. It would place your grandparents in a difficult position, and could be upsetting for Kiri and Liam if there was a scene.’
‘So I’ll go to their school instead and see them in the playground,’ he retorted belligerently.
I looked at him carefully. I knew that Kiri and Liam’s school would most likely have been told that Stevie was under police investigation in connection with child pornography. They would have him removed if he showed up there, but I didn’t think it wise to tell Stevie that and make him even more angry. ‘That would be very unsettling for Kiri and Liam,’ I said. ‘I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do anything else to upset them.’
‘I haven’t upset them!’ he snapped back.
We were in the front room with the door pulled to, so no one else could hear. I looked at him carefully, thinking he still didn’t understand the full implications of what he’d done. ‘Stevie, taking those photographs of Kiri and Liam was upsetting for them. I know they might not have burst into tears at the time, but they knew it was wrong, which was why you had to tell them you’d be in a lot of trouble if they didn’t do as you said. Afterwards, they must have felt very guilty and were clearly worried about what they’d done, which was why they kept trying to tell your gran they had a secret. They needed to share it. What you did upset them, just as it must have upset you.’
He looked away and I could see he’d identified with what I’d said.
‘So, difficult though it is,’ I continued, ‘you have to do what Verity says, and stay away from Kiri and Liam until the police investigation is finished. But your grandparents can phone you.’
‘They don’t have my new number,’ he said, referring to the mobile phone I’d lent him.
‘I gave it to Peggy and she also has the house phone number. She said she will phone within the next couple of days. You can ask her how Liam and Kiri are, but you won’t be able to speak to them for the time being.’
He shrugged despondently, almost as if he didn’t care, but I knew he did. ‘I’m sorry, love, but that’s all I can offer for now, so please don’t do anything that could make matters worse.’
‘What would happen if I did see them?’ he asked, glaring at me.
‘The social services would be informed and if you persisted in doing so you’d probably be found somewhere to live right out of the area.’
‘They can’t force me to go anywhere!’ he snapped defiantly.
‘Stevie, they can. At present, as far as the police and social services are concerned, you pose a threat to Kiri and Liam, and until you are cleared you mustn’t go near them, do you understand?’ I said firmly.
His anger flared. ‘Oh fuck off!’ he said. Pushing past me, he stormed up to his bedroom and slammed the door.
Shaken, but not wholly surprised by Stevie’s outburst, I stayed where I was in the living room and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Once I’d recovered I went to reassure Paula and Lucy, who had heard Stevie’s bedroom door slam and had come out onto the landing.
Having spoken to them, I gave Stevie fifteen minutes to calm down and then knocked on his door. ‘Stevie, it’s Cathy. Can we talk?’
‘Go away.’
‘I know you’re upset, but –’
‘Go away!’ he shouted, angrier than ever. So I did.
I checked on him a couple of times during the evening and was met with a similar response. ‘If you want to talk you know where I am,’ I said.
‘I don’t,’ he returned from the other side of the door. ‘I’m in bed.’
‘OK. See you in the morning.’
I thought that after a night’s sleep he’d probably be in a better frame of mind and more accepting of what I’d said. The following morning I heard him get up at his usual time, but instead of coming down to breakfast when I called him he just went straight out the front door. I was in the kitchen and by the time I was outside he had disappeared up the road. I returned indoors and went up to his room where I checked in his wardrobe and saw that a set of school uniform was missing, and his school bag had gone. However, at 9.30 the school secretary telephoned to say Stevie wasn’t in school. I tried his mobile but it went through to voicemail, so I left a message asking him to phone me. I heard nothing from him, but an hour later Peggy called. ‘I thought you should know that Stevie is here with me.’
‘And after everything I said to him! Are Liam and Kiri at school?’
‘Yes. Stevie came here after Fred had taken them. I’ve given him some breakfast. He’s not saying much but I thought you should know where he is.’
‘Yes, thank you. What are you going to do?’
‘I’ve told him he can stay here for a while, but he’ll need to go back to you before Fred brings Kiri and Liam home from school, otherwise we’ll all be in trouble.’
‘Is Fred there now?’ I asked.
‘Yes, he and Stevie are in the sitting room watching a football replay on the television.’
‘Really?’ I asked, surprised. ‘I didn’t know Stevie was interested in football.’
‘He’s not, but when he was younger he used to spend hours with his grandpa watching the footie. Stevie was in the sitting room when Fred came back and Fred put the television on. He does that when he doesn’t know what to say. He used to when Verity visited and she asked him to turn it off, but that’s Fred for you.’
‘Well, at least Stevie is safe,’ I said.
‘Yes, and maybe he and Fred will start talking soon. I’ll give Stevie lunch, then when Fred leaves at three o’clock to collect Liam and Kiri from school I’ll send Stevie back to you.’
‘Thank you, or shall I come and collect him to make sure he does come back?’
‘If you like.’
‘I’ll see you at three then, and Peggy, I’ll have to let Verity know. If I don’t, the school will flag it up as an unauthorised absence.’
‘Do as you see fit,’ she said.
I thanked her for letting me know that Stevie was there and we said goodbye. Although Stevie wasn’t where he should have been, I knew where he was so technically he wasn’t a missing person. I therefore saw no urgency in notifying Verity, so rather than phoning her I sent her an email explaining what had happened. I hoped she would take the same view as I had: that Stevie could stay at his grandparents’ for a few hours. However, when I saw him later I’d make it clear to him that this was a one-off and going to his grandparents’ when he was supposed to be at school couldn’t become a habit.
As I went about the housework I tried to picture Fred and Stevie in their sitting room using the television as a displacement for what must have been a very awkward meeting. Perhaps some good would come of it, I thought; maybe it would remind them both of happier times when Stevie had been little and – as Peggy had said – they’d sat together watching football, and begin to heal the rift between them.
However, when I rang their doorbell at three o’clock Stevie answered, school bag over his shoulder, ready to leave and clearly in a bad mood. ‘Silly old bugger!’ he cursed under his breath. He came out and strutted off down the path.
Peggy appeared in the hall. ‘Don’t ask,’ she said, raising her eyes in exasperation.
I glanced at my car where Stevie was now agitatedly pulling the door handle to get in. ‘I’d better go,’ I said, pressing the fob to open the car doors.
‘Yes. Good luck.’ With a heavy sigh, she closed their front door.
In the car Stevie angrily jabbed the metal tongue of his seatbelt into the buckle. ‘He always has to open his big mouth!’ he fumed. ‘He just won’t let it go!’
‘I assume you mean your grandfather,’ I said. ‘What did he say?’
‘He started going on about the other stuff.’
‘What other stuff?’
‘You know, about my gender. He said if I hadn’t got into all that queer stuff and met Joey online, none of this would have happened. I know it’s my fucking fault! I don’t need him to keep telling me.’
‘I can see that. But don’t swear. He has a habit of saying the wrong thing.’
Stevie huffed. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
I started the car engine and headed for home. ‘Stevie, I’m here to support and help you through this, but I can’t do it if you keep running away. If your gran hadn’t phoned me, I would have had to report you missing again.’
‘Whatever,’ he said, and stared moodily out of his side window. I concentrated on driving and gave him the time he needed to calm down.
Once home, Stevie went up to his room where he spent the rest of the evening, although he did come down for dinner. My family were getting used to his mood swings and, aware that he had a lot to cope with, didn’t press him to join in our conversation.
As Stevie’s birthday was approaching I asked him what he’d like to do by way of a celebration. Despite the police investigation hanging over us, I wanted to do something to mark the day. Clearly he wouldn’t be celebrating with his brother and sister, so I asked him if he’d like a few friends round. He didn’t, so I suggested we went bowling and had a meal out.
‘Don’t mind,’ he shrugged. Which was better than ‘don’t care’, which I was getting a lot of lately.
I went ahead and booked bowling at our local leisure centre and a table at a nearby Italian restaurant. Stevie’s birthday fell in the Easter holidays, so he, Paula and Lucy already had the day off and Adrian took a day’s leave so he could join us. We made a fuss of Stevie on his birthday and called him ‘the Birthday Boy’, which made him smile. I think he enjoyed it, especially when he won at bowling. Once home, I produced the birthday cake I’d ordered from our local bakery. A rainbow cake with an arc of different colours – vibrant, as Stevie had been and I hoped would be again one day. I’d had Happy Birthday Stevie – 15 Today piped on top of the cake in icing, and I’d arranged fifteen birthday candles around the edge. We sang ‘Happy Birthday’ and as he blew out the candles I wondered where he’d be this time next year. With us, or serving time in a young offenders’ institution? It was a chilling thought.
His gran telephoned once Kiri and Liam were in bed to wish him a happy birthday, and they chatted for ten minutes or so. Fred didn’t come to the phone.
Stevie had wanted money from me for his birthday as well as from his grandparents. Adrian had also put some money in a card for him, as had my mother, while Lucy and Paula had clubbed together and bought him a jersey from one of his favourite stores. Stevie was pleased with his presents, and in total had £200. ‘Spend it wisely,’ I told him.
‘I will,’ he replied, then thanked me for a nice day and went quietly to his room. I felt we’d done the best we could in difficult circumstances.
While Stevie had dressed smartly when we’d gone out on his birthday – as of course we had – there’d been none of the flamboyant dressing up we’d previously seen, and he’d only worn a little mascara. Since all this had started, his gender-identity issues had been put on hold. The police investigation was weighing him down, stamping out his natural exuberance, and I hated ‘Joey’ even more for what he was doing to Stevie. I hoped it didn’t put Stevie off forming relationships in the future with genuine young people – male or female.
Stevie had asked me a few times when I thought he’d get his laptop and phone back. I’d had to say I didn’t know, but I was sure that the police or Verity would let us know once the police had finished with them. The morning after his birthday Stevie said he was going into town shopping to spend his birthday money, I assumed on clothes. He returned around midday with a new smartphone, on which he’d spent all his birthday money. We all admired it. I could see how pleased he was with it, and I didn’t point out that at some point he would be getting his old phone back and could have spent his money on something else. I supposed at his age it was asking too much to wait indefinitely, and like many young people he couldn’t bear to be without a decent phone. He immediately entered our wi-fi code and spent the rest of the afternoon adjusting the phone settings and ring tones to suit him and downloading WhatsApp and so forth. He was like a kid with a new toy and kept coming to show us. I was pleased for him, but also worried.
‘You will be careful online,’ I said, for while my old phone hadn’t had the software to support most of these websites, clearly his new phone did.
He nodded as he fiddled with his phone. I watched him for a moment.
‘Stevie, out of interest, why didn’t you accept my Facebook friendship request?’ I asked. ‘It doesn’t matter, I was just curious.’
He glanced up, puzzled, as if he was trying to remember, then he looked embarrassed. ‘Joey told me not to. He knew the grief I was getting from my grandpa, and he said I should put my security settings on high and not accept Facebook friends from any of my family or adults who knew me, so I wasn’t hurt any more.’
Clever, I thought. Under the guise of caring for Stevie’s feelings, ‘Joey’ had effectively stopped the possibility of any adult monitoring Stevie’s activity on Facebook where they might have become suspicious of ‘Joey’. ‘Did you do that on the other website too – the one where you met Joey?’
‘Yes.’
I explained my concerns and why I thought ‘Joey’ had given him that advice. ‘I’m not saying you have to accept my friendship request,’ I said, ‘but don’t shut everyone you know out again, will you? Think of these websites as a room you are in and there are people outside wanting to get in. You’d allow in those you knew and could trust, wouldn’t you? And be more wary about the strangers. I doubt you would have shut the door in my face if it had been a real room, or let Joey in.’
‘No,’ he agreed. ‘I wouldn’t.’
I’d said what I wanted to, and I hoped again that Stevie now appreciated the dangers of meeting strangers online. That evening he accepted my Facebook friendship request, which allowed me to have a look at his friends and some of the conversations they’d been having on his timeline. There was no sign of Joey or anyone suspicious, but I would check every so often, just as I had when my children had been Stevie’s age. How different it was now, protecting young people, to when I’d first begun fostering. I’m not sure it was easier then, just different.
Stevie’s second review was held at the end of April, three months after the first, and he refused to attend. ‘I’m not sitting there while they all have a go at me,’ he said. ‘I know what I did was wrong.’
‘Stevie, that’s not the purpose of the review – just the opposite, in fact,’ I said. ‘It’s about making sure you have everything you need, you’re safe and well, and being properly looked after. What’s happened might be mentioned, but no one is going to question you. It’s not an interview. It gives you the chance to ask any questions you might have.’
‘Will my grandparents be there?’
‘They will be invited, yes.’
‘If he comes, I’m definitely not going.’
‘There is no reason for Verity to exclude your grandfather,’ I said. There has to be a very good reason to exclude parents or guardians from their child’s review.
‘I’ll fill in the form they’ve sent, but I’m not coming,’ Stevie said adamantly.
I tried to persuade him to attend and told him it was the adult thing to do, but he still refused. Although Peggy had said that Fred was being supportive of Stevie in the matter of the police investigation, clearly the argument they’d had when he’d visited had set back any chances of healing their relationship. I informed Verity by email that Stevie wouldn’t be attending his review, and she replied that she’d try to speak to him before the review. I completed my questionnaire and returned it in the post. Two days later Verity saw Stevie in school, but he wouldn’t change his mind about attending his review. On the morning of the review, before he left for school, I told him it wasn’t too late and if he decided to attend to just join us. He should be home around the time it started anyway, as the review had been set for 4.30 at my house.
‘I won’t,’ he said, and left looking downcast and moody, which was how he usually looked now.
At 4.30, all those attending the review gathered in my living room and the IRO – the same one as last time – opened the review, without Stevie. The IRO, Richard, was now using a small laptop to take the minutes rather than pen and paper. He typed as he, then Verity, myself, Edith, Peggy, Fred and Carolyn introduced ourselves. Carolyn added that she’d seen Stevie in school and he’d told her he wouldn’t be coming to the review.
‘Do we know why?’ the IRO asked, glancing up at us.
‘I’ve spoken to Stevie,’ Verity said, ‘and he doesn’t feel comfortable attending.’
Peggy nudged Fred. ‘It’s probably because of me,’ Fred said. Which seemed to suggest he was becoming more sensitive to Stevie’s needs, until he added, ‘He needs to man up. Little wonder he’s been taken advantage of!’
The IRO noted Stevie’s absence and said, ‘It’s a pity Stevie didn’t feel able to attend. I understand quite a lot has happened since his last review. I’ll try to see him another time. When is he expected home?’
‘Now, if not before,’ I said.
‘If he does return while the review is on, I can see him in another room, or I’ll arrange to see him another day,’ the IRO said. I nodded. ‘So, would you like to begin by telling us how Stevie is doing now?’ he asked me. ‘Are we all aware of what has happened since the last review?’
Everyone nodded and Fred said, ‘Too bloody right! You’d have thought the police had better things to do than go after Stevie. It wasn’t his fault. He was blackmailed into doing what he did. They need to catch that Joey, or whatever his real name is.’
‘I’m sure the police are doing all they can,’ the IRO said in a conciliatory tone.
‘Well, they need to try harder and leave my boy alone. He made a mistake, that’s all,’ Fred said.
While it was positive to hear Fred standing up for Stevie and referring to him as ‘my boy’, his comment rather undermined what Liam and Kiri had been through, which Verity picked up on.
‘I’m sure we all appreciate the anxiety and stress this is causing you all,’ Verity said. ‘But we shouldn’t forget that taking photographs of children without their clothes on is a form of sexual abuse.’
‘Stevie wouldn’t harm them,’ Fred retaliated angrily.
‘Sshh, be quiet, we know that,’ Peggy hissed at him. ‘You’re making it worse.’ And for the time being, Fred was quiet.