The Shame

Tabitha Rayne

I’ve always been ashamed of my own fantasies, so when Dione came crashing through the door I could have died with mortification.

“What the hell are you up to?” She looked shocked and amused at my twisted form as I scrabbled about trying to hide my pretty things. The corset I’d been attempting to wrap around my middle hung stupidly down my hip, the long laces dangling at my feet. I tried to smile and join in Dione’s laughter at my predicament but I knew it hadn’t reached my eyes by the way she suddenly turned solemn and came to me.

“Hey, hey come on now,” she said while her arm slid around my shoulder, “what’s with the tears?”

Even worse.

I hadn’t realised I was crying.

“Nothing, I just...” I shrugged and dropped the corset, and it landed in a heap of tangled cords and bones. My face burned. I was hunched and naked, standing in front of my housemate as she confusedly looked round my room, kindly not mentioning the vibrator on my pillow. I was struck dumb. Struck dumb and frozen. I knew what she was thinking - she was thinking; what the hell is this weird boy female doing with such finery as a corset? She’d only ever seen me in figure-hiding baggy jeans and t-shirts. She must think me ridiculous to try and be anything remotely womanly.

She reached out again and I recoiled. Her touch was soft on the back of my hand as she gently turned my palm out to face her. Somehow I feared my secrets would spill, as if I were trying to cup water from a stream.

“Listen, I’m sorry I barged in.” Her voice was so tender I wondered if I could flick my eyes to hers. “Come on, look at me, it’s fine.” Her other hand gently took my chin and lifted it so I had no choice.

“I, I...” But I still couldn’t express myself. What must she think of me? A mute, a freak.

“It’s fine - this is my fault, you’ve nothing to be ashamed of. It’s me who should be ashamed, bursting in and making you feel bad.”

I looked away, trying to process the information. Somewhere, deep inside, a tiny portion of my brain told me to listen to her. To believe her words. And before the other crippling destructive side could take over, I listened.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

She let go of me and stooped to gather up the corset. As she straightened, her hair almost brushed my thighs and I wobbled. My breathing even more shallow as she cast her eyes over my body as she rose.

“You’re very beautiful, you know, Cass,” she said, her eyes lingering on my arms which were now firmly folded across my chest.

Should I say thank you? I wished I could just die.

Dione had been my flatmate for over a year. You know the type, gorgeous whether in a ball gown or bin bag, not that I’ve seen her in either, but you know what I mean. And popular, oh the friends she has! And boyfriends, all the men sniffing about trying to get in. Thankfully though, I’ve never had to talk to any of them in the mornings. In fact, I’ve never seen any in the mornings so I guess she must be pretty discreet.

“Thank you,” I managed to say and she started to flatten out my corset on the bed, untangling the laces and smoothing it perfectly. I almost reached out to stop her, but didn’t.

“This is stunning.” Her fingers flirted over the ridges where the bones were and I almost swooned. “And so tiny. Can you wear this?”

A perverse sense of pride made me stand a little taller. I nodded. It had taken me two years to train my waist to this size. It had been hard but when this new corset had arrived, the exhilaration was incredible.

“Let me see.” She held the garment out on confident arms and I kept eye contact as I took it.

It felt heavier than normal when it unfurled, bouncing a little as I flicked my wrist to get it the right way round. It twisted and undulated like a fisherman’s catch on a line when I bent to the side and draped it around my back, catching the eyelets with my left hand. Straightening, I glanced at her, to see her drink me in as I folded the stiff stay around and under my small bust.

Looking to the first eyelet I couldn’t help but see the fuzz of my bush below. Renewed anxiety filled me as I saw her look too. I never bother shaving down there. Not like her, she was probably smooth and clean, her buttocks soft and free of dimples. My fingers tingled as the image of me caressing her bare ass sprung into my mind.

I shook my head of it and continued trying to pin the eyelets together, top first then all the way down. When they were all clipped in place, she came to me. Reaching behind her neck, she pulled her long hair over her shoulder. I could have groaned.

“Turn around,” she whispered. “Let me tie you.”

So I did.

Reflected in the mirror wall was a small woman, naked bar a thick strip of fabric around her middle. A goddess stood behind her, concentrating on the task of binding her. It was incredibly erotic and I watched my little nipples pucker into beads.

Her fingers worked and teased the cords, untwisting and straightening them just the way I like them. Her breath danced on my shoulders as she tugged tighter into the middle loops. This was it. This was the moment I would transform. She wound the lacing around her hands and drew them though their eyelets. Static silence engulfed us as she pulled. The corset gathered at my middle and made me a woman. I watched myself shrink into female perfection and she licked her lips, watching in the mirror too.

“Are you wet?”

“What?” I staggered, shocked at her question.

“You look like your pussy might be wet.”

Do I? “I’m not sure,” I managed to stutter as she snaked her fingers around to the front of my hips and into my private curls. I tensed as her middle finger carved a path in between my lips, teasing me open and sharing my secrets.

Easing her finger into me and circling, she leaned in. “Yes, yes you are wet.”

Suddenly she left. My body went cold without her heat up against my back. Where are you going? I felt ridiculous and bereft. I closed my eyes and waited for the sound of the door clicking shut. It didn’t come.

“Is this what you were going to do?” Something cold pressed at my buttock then started to buzz. My vibrator. She had noticed it, after all. I nodded. “Do you stand here and watch while you fuck yourself?”

Oh god, I really was wet now. I nodded again as she kicked my feet apart and slid the vibrator around to the front, where she rubbed it against my bush.

“I would like to watch too,” she said, lifting the fake dick to my face. She slid it between my lips and made me fellate it while we both watched. It rattled against my teeth and a heavy look of lust seemed to overtake her as she pushed it harder into my needy mouth.

I groaned as she pulsed it in and out, making my cunt yearn for the same attention. With the other hand she reached down and splayed open my ruby red pout and held it there for us to see. Bravado, or was it lust, made me shuffle my feet further apart, widening the space at my groin. She made an mmm sound right into my neck and her eyelids fluttered closed as she nuzzled in, breathing my scent just behind my ear.

The hairs rose and prickled all the way down to my shoulders, breasts, arms, thighs, cunt. Saliva gathered and spilled out as the dildo was thrust into my mouth again and again, sliding and pulsing, almost making me gag in a way that seemed so raunchy. I was ready to come. Watching her ram my mouth with the silicone cock while she held my cunt open was the most exquisitely harsh erotic thing that had happened to me.

She made soft groaning noises into my ear as she teased and tormented me. The corset was tighter than I was used to and my breathing was hard yet shallow. A delicious tipping point of bondage and restraint. My nipples peaked and knotted until they barely seemed visible, so tied in pleasure they were.

I became aware of my own arms just hanging by my sides, and was suddenly crippled by their inertia. My whole being wanted to reach, touch, caress, take part, but I was lead. A frozen figure of sensation.

Dione must have sensed my difficulty. “It’s okay,” she whispered, releasing her grip on my pussy lips and stroking the length of my left arm to the fingertips which she caught and held, sliding them up to my own nipples. “I’ll guide you. You don’t need to think or do anything.”

Her fingers pinched mine around my own nipple and started massaging the tiny bullet. Mouth still stuffed with the vibrator, sensations engulfed me from head to toe. I felt like I’d sucked the entire thing but in the mirror I’d barely reached halfway. As her hips began to twist and push her mound into my lower back, I was thrilled to feel the tickle of her pubic hair at my spine. I tipped my head onto the cock trying to force more in. I didn’t want to disappoint her, but it was impossible. It wouldn’t fit.

“Mmm, let’s see if you can take it all somewhere else.”

My jaw slackened as she withdrew the shining cock from my mouth, trailing it down my neck and across my chest, leaving a slippery trail as it went. The lead feeling left my right arm and I tentatively and very slowly walked my fingertips around to her outer thigh. She shifted a little to allow me access.

I shivered and goosebumps rose over every part of my skin, making it tingle with arousal. I could feel my juices at the pillows of my inner thighs, moist and sticky, aching for invasion. Teasing me, the vibrator was still only half way down my corset and I yelped as it tweaked one of the catches at the front.

“Please...” I started. She must know I was so ready for her. I could smell the heady mingling scent of our arousal, and the heat being generated between us was incredible. “Please...” I was a gibbering mess of pure lust and my probing fingers grasped and sought between her opening legs behind me. There, there, I found the heat source and trembled as she parted to let me into that hot wet space.

She groaned when between the soft fleshy folds, I found the hard jewel of rising tension, just as the buzzing dildo reached mine. My body bucked and flinched as it touched my nerve centre but moved down, twisting in her hands as if searching by itself. Spreading my legs meant I was getting shorter so I had to stand on pointed toes to help her reach down. I held my breath as the thick head spread my cunt apart, hovering at the entrance as I ached and burned for penetration. Sweat prickled over my forehead and shoulders as she nudged inside, just a millimetre, merciless.

Her other hand still clamped mine to my tit, kneading and nipping at the beaded nipple, shooting sensations all through me, like all my nerve endings began from that point.

The pink dildo eased and spread me and I clenched, trying to get the most from the sensation.

She twisted her wrist and pushed hard against my resistance. “Oh yeah, are you making this hard for me? Hmm? Is your tight sweet little cunt trying to stop me getting in?”

I clenched even tighter, loving the lustful wicked expression on her face as the sinews in her forearm tensed. She shoved hard and my muscles relented. The cock slid in with a delicious fullness that radiated to every part of me. I was consumed. The thick long silicone disappeared easily into my accommodating flesh and my mouth watered at the puckering and pulling as it went.

“Oh yes, that’s better, see?” She dipped her knees, dropping her grip on my breast and came round to the side. I tried to follow her pussy with my fingers but she pushed them away.

She sank to the floor, watching me in the mirror all the time. Her hand gripped tightly around the shaft of the toy and I knew I was in for a fucking.

The buzzing vibrations rocked me to the core, almost as much as watching her slide it out halfway then pump back into me hard and fast. It was almost as if I was out of my own body - seeing from afar. Like a film. I couldn’t be this lustful, gorgeous, sensual, could I? The action of her arm rising and falling as she thrust was erotic in the extreme, and when she brought her other hand down the back of my thigh and delved to her own pussy, I let out a groan.

“Yeah, finger fuck yourself. Come on yourself as you fuck me.” I was shocked at my words but excited at the reaction. Harder and harder she fucked me, and I grabbed her hair, screwing it into a bunch at her neck before pulling her face to my pussy.

She didn’t hesitate; her greedy tongue darted out and flicked at my clit. Three little laps was all it took and I fell into that fully fucked place. My eyes rolled back, hands squeezing into her hair harder and she rammed the dildo to the hilt as I roared and shuddered my orgasm out over her hands and face.

My muscles twitched and spasmed. Her hand continued jamming the vibrator into me. The buzzing and convulsing inside my pussy was overwhelming and my whole body trembled as I shrieked.

“Get it out of me, it’s too much.” I released her hair and realised she’d need both hands to turn off the vibe. But her other hand was deep in between her thighs.

Giving me a cute, apologetic look, she closed her eyes and kept frigging herself, hard. She was on her haunches, her groin covered by her skirt.

“Pull it up and open your legs - I want to watch you coming,” I said.

She smiled and eased the dildo out. It made a satisfied slurping sound as it went. I watched her from above, occasionally peeking in the mirror to get a different view as three of her fingers dove into her pussy, spreading rudely for my delight.

Coming out of my orgasmic haze I felt a little unsure of myself. I wanted to sink to my knees and kiss her, push into that space between her thighs and rub her hard until she came. Her face began to screw up, her eyes closed with the effort of her furious frigging. She needed my help.

Dropping to the floor, I lunged at her, kissing her face while pinning her own hand to her cunt with my body. I wriggled and writhed into her, adoring the way my tits crushed against hers through her top. I pulled away just enough to get my hands to her collar and tug her top apart, exposing her full blushing breasts. My eyes closed as I fell back onto her, flesh on flesh, and sought her mouth again. Everything was wet and hot and heady. Our pelvises were locked together, her hand rammed up inside herself and as we rocked and humped in a frantic needy fuck.

She let out a roar and shuddered, breathing hard through her nose as I held fast to her lips and tongue. Slowly, the tension in our bodies eased, and the softness of satisfaction made us yield into each other. It was a bit awkward and I could feel the threat of pins and needles in my calves so, with mouths still clamped together, we wriggled and shuffled up onto the bed. Finally, we parted, and I settled next to her.

She sighed, turning to look at me. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” Her voice was low and husky and made me feel like someone had just pulled a warm blanket around me.

I ventured a hand to her naked breasts, lifting and kneading the large wobbling mounds and thumbing the hardening nipple. “Me neither,” I said, but it might not have come out.

“You don’t need to hide yourself, you know.” The words were slightly distorted by a yawn and she seemed to sink lower into the bedding. I draped my body across hers and looked up into her face.

For the first time in a very long time, in fact, for the first time ever, I felt like I was a woman. A real woman. I had the right to call myself a woman. And she’d done this.

Her eyes fluttered shut and I allowed myself the same indulgence, listening to her softening breaths as she drifted gently to sleep.