“I’m back.”
Juniper shut the door of her mother’s house, amazed that she could sound as cheery as she did. The entire weekend had been so draining, not to mention the several hours she’d spent stuck on the Grapevine when a nasty wreck had closed it.
“We’re in the living room,” Kelly called.
Juniper was too tired to even be upset her sister was here. Besides, after her last talk with Kelly, Juniper suspected her sister might be a better ally than she’d ever imagined.
When she came into the living room, there were her mother and her sister, sitting on opposite sides of the room, neither facing the other. Kelly looked better than she had, but her face was still strained.
“How was the apartment?” Kelly asked.
“It’s a house,” Juniper explained. “With a backyard and a garage.”
“You weren’t supposed to be home until tonight,” her mother said. But it was sad, not angry.
“I…” I was miserable there and wanted to come home. But that wasn’t what she was supposed to say. Juniper was supposed to tell them both how awesome SLO had been. “I wanted to get back to Owen.”
Her mother bit her lip and looked away.
“And the job?” Kelly asked. “How did the interview go?”
“Great.” Juniper cleared her throat. “They offered me the position. And I said yes.”
There was a long beat of silence after that, Kelly smiling at her while her mother stared at the floor and Juniper pretended she was oh so happy.
“Where’s Owen?” she asked finally. Juniper had to tell him next, and she really needed a hug from him. Doing the right thing for them in this situation was taking a lot out of her. Snuggling with him would remind her of all the reasons why this should be awesome.
“In his room,” her mother said. “He’s been complaining that he can’t find his watch. He’s very upset over it. Do you know where it is?”
“Watch?” Juniper frowned. “Owen doesn’t have a watch. He’s only four.”
“Well, he wouldn’t stop crying about it. He keeps claiming it’s lost and it’s very important we find it.”
Her mother’s expression said she thought Juniper was a monster for not knowing exactly where this imaginary watch was.
“Maybe he means something else? Something he thinks is a watch?” Juniper asked.
That had happened before, Owen demanding something without knowing the real name for it and Juniper spending hours trying to figure out exactly what he meant. But for the life of her, Juniper couldn’t think of a single toy of Owen’s that might be confused for a watch.
“I tried that,” her mother said testily. “He described it to me, and it sounded exactly like a watch.”
“I’ll look for it later,” Juniper said. That would be fun, spending hours searching for something that might not even exist. And it definitely wasn’t a watch. Owen had never had one, not even a toy one.
Her mother’s face tightened. “I’ll go look with him now.” Her heels snapped out an accusation as she left the room—clearly she thought Juniper should be going in her place.
Juniper let her head fall back. At least her mother hadn’t argued about the move. Much. She closed her eyes, glad that Kelly didn’t seem inclined to talk. After being social with Chloe all weekend, Juniper was all talked out.
“We found it.”
At her mother’s triumphant announcement, Juniper jumped, coming wide awake. Lord, she was tired if she’d passed out that quickly.
When her mother came in, she was wearing a smile and towing Owen behind her, something cradled in Owen’s hands.
“We found it,” Mom said again.
“Found what?” Juniper asked.
Owen crawled into her lap, butting his head into her shoulder. He was holding whatever it was too close for her to see.
“Finally came to say hi to me, huh?” She wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss to his hair.
“I missed you, Mommy.” He pushed his head against her mouth, his way of returning the kiss. His fingers cupped around the object like a bird he’d trapped, wary of crushing it.
“What is that?” she asked.
“My watch,” he said in a childishly straightforward manner. “I have to wind it now.”
Juniper had watched Ash wind his watch once, his thick fingers intriguingly delicate as he’d twisted the stem, his entire focus on his task.
“Open your hand,” she told Owen, low and rough. “Show me what you have.”
His fingers uncurled like a bloom, revealing the watch in the center of his palm.
Ash’s watch.
Juniper’s pulse hammered throughout her, beat against her ribs, inundated her ears, drummed against her skull. “Did you take this?”
“No!” Owen curled around the watch and threw himself away from her. “He gave it to me. He showed me how to wind it.”
“Let me see,” her mother demanded. “What is it?”
“It’s a watch,” Juniper said shortly. Her mother didn’t need to know the rest, how it had been a gift from Ash’s grandfather, how Ash always took such deliberate care of it, how Ash had said it was supposed to tell him where he was in life.
How this watch was supposed to be passed on to Ash’s children.
“Ash gave it to me,” Owen said, fierce defiance twisting his shoulders. “I have to wind it. Otherwise it won’t tick.”
“It’s not exactly an appropriate gift for child.” Her mother peered at the gap in Owen’s hands, the only glimpse of the watch he was allowing them.
He gave this to me so I would always know where I was in life.
Those were Ash’s grandfather’s words, which Ash had treasured as much as the watch itself.
Suddenly Juniper realized she had no idea where she was in life. Oh, she’d thought she knew, but in reality, she’d been stuck in one place in her mind. Trapped in the time right around when Owen had been born, when she’d never felt more alone and lost and judged. As her son had grown into a child and she’d grown into a mother, she’d never bothered to look around and see how the scenery was changing. She’d been so busy keeping them fed and sheltered, she’d never noticed the things around her that were different. Never noticed that not everyone was judging her. Not everyone thought she was a failure. Not everyone thought she’d ruined Evan’s life.
The moms at school? They weren’t judging her, at least not in the way she thought. They just didn’t understand her. They were on one path, and she was on another.
And the moms in 4-H? They’d thought she landed the biggest prize of all. And perhaps she had.
And her own mother? Yes, her mother was difficult and annoying, and Juniper would probably never really get along with her, but her mother did love Owen. Yes, Mom had turned her back on Juniper at first, but then she’d changed her mind. She’d come in the end when Juniper had needed help.
Juniper had thought she’d have to destroy everything in order to escape her life. But maybe she didn’t have to escape. It would be easier to start anew, to leave everything behind and reinvent herself, for sure.
But when had she ever taken the easy way out? Having Owen, raising him, even marrying Ash: None of that had been easy. There would be people who would always judge her, who would continue to see her as the punch line to her mother’s school board career, but there were also people here who loved her.
A lot of people had cast her in the role of Sad Single Mom, but she’d cast herself as well. And she’d used every sideways look, every whispered comment, to push herself even deeper into that role.
Ash hadn’t seen her that way—which was probably why she’d always been so irritated by how he’d looked at her. He’d reminded her that she had a body, that she still desired things, that there was more to her than she’d wanted to admit.
The watch wasn’t a gift at all. It was a symbol. A symbol of the bond between Ash and his grandfather. Ash had told her the watch would go to his son or daughter… but he’d given it to Owen. Which meant Ash wasn’t ever having children or…
“He’s trying to prove it to me,” Juniper said to herself. Oh God, he was right. She was so stubborn, so determined to be the injured party always, she’d never listened to what Ash was really saying.
Oh God, she’d have to tell him she was wrong.
“Who’s trying to prove what?” Kelly asked.
That was going to need a novel to answer properly. “I…” Juniper threw up her hands.
Kelly just smiled.
“Can you watch Owen a little longer?” Juniper put a hand on Kelly’s arm, needing her sister to understand how important this was. “I need to go…” Juniper couldn’t think of a good excuse to cover up the fact she was going to see Ash.
But Kelly must have figured out what was happening, because her smile curved slyly. “I’ll take him. It’ll be good practice for when the baby comes. In fact, I can keep him overnight.” She waggled her eyebrows. “If you need me to.”
“Why would she need that?”
They both ignored their mother.
“Thank you,” Juniper said. “Thank you so much. And I’ll pay you back once the baby comes.”
“Where are you going, Mommy?” Owen was winding the watch, exactly as Juniper had seen Ash do it.
She wondered if she should tell him where she was going. If Ash said that he was done with her, that she’d had her chance and wasn’t getting another one… If she came back and told Owen they wouldn’t be going back to Ash’s house…
“I have some errands to run,” she said. Which was kind of true if you counted her husband as one of the things she needed to pick up. “Be careful with your watch, and listen to your aunt.”
“Okay.” Owen strapped the watch to his wrist, where it swung awkwardly. He’d have to put it halfway up his arm to get it to fit. But still, he smiled at it with pride.
It was his watch now. Given to him by a man who loved him as much as she did.
Juniper pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. “I love you, kiddo.”
“I love you too, Mommy.” He said it with such simple assurance, as if that fact had always been true and always would be.
Juniper could only pray that Ash felt the same way.