Chapter Nineteen
Up and dressed for the early Sunday service, Taylor left her prayer chair with a heavy heart. This time it wasn’t because of her family or business. Today, Jerome and his wife were the center of concern. It had dawned on Taylor that a continuous relationship between Jerome and their daughter was more than likely contingent upon Renee’s approval. Renee was a God-fearing woman, but she had threatened divorce in the past. It was possible that she would give Jerome an ultimatum, and Taylor feared that, given a choice, he would choose Renee over Joi.
Taylor closed her Bible, and before she left the chair, recited the prayer of Jabez. A significant increase in her life had yet to be seen, but Taylor trusted that God would one day turn things around. She just needed to wait patiently. Like Isaiah 40-31 read: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. So, although things looked the same, Taylor continued to pray and be patient.
She tipped to the bed, careful not to rip her sheer pantyhose, and lowered her body onto the mattress. Gently, she nudged her snoring husband awake. “I think I should talk to Renee,” she said when his eyes opened.
Lance yawned then pulled the covers over his shoulder. “Leave it alone, Taylor. Let Jerome handle this by himself,” he said and rolled over, an indication that the conversation was finished.
Although she had more to say, Taylor refrained from speaking. As carefully as she and Lance had planned for this moment, nothing had played out the way they imagined. Neither one of them really understood the magnitude of the situation, making it difficult at times to accept the reality of it all. Jerome would be a part of their lives for a long time. He would no longer be known as the man who sent monthly checks. He’d be around for birthdays, holidays, and special occasions. Lance tried to remain supportive, but Taylor could tell his patience was wearing thin.
“All right,” she replied and got off the bed. There was no point in pursuing the matter any further.
Making her way around several objects in the bedroom, Taylor stopped at her dresser. She had ten minutes to spare before she had to leave the house. The last time she’d been to church without her family, her children were toddlers. She needed to go to an early service, in order to attend an open house with Collette Brown, her new realtor, at noon.
Taylor rummaged through her makeup case and pulled out a seldom-used shade of red lipstick. Generally she wasn’t a fan of lip colors in the red family but decided to give Revlon’s Mulled Wine a try. She smoothed on one layer, rubbed her lips together, and gave herself one final check in the full-length mirror behind the closet door. In her navy suit, Taylor felt like she was going on an interview. To give her outfit a splash of color, she searched through a collection of scarves and settled on the only gift she ever received from Gizelle. She tied the olive and cream scarf loosely around her neck, hiding a small amount of cleavage, and looked in the mirror again. It looked much better.
“All right, babe. I’m leaving,” she said as she slid into her year-old Anne Klein heels that looked brand-new. “Make sure the kids are up in time for Sunday School.” Taylor grabbed a winter white Coach purse hanging on the doorknob and looked back at her husband. “Did you hear me?”
Lance wiggled his fingers.
“Okay, the open house ends at two, so we should get home around the same time,” she said and left the room.
Church let out a half hour earlier than normal, so Taylor took the scenic route downtown to kill time. She cruised around Center City then through Society Hill. None of the stores seemed similar to her secondhand shop. There was definitely a market for her type of business in the neighborhood. As she traveled through the ritzy part of the city, she listened to the sermon her pastor preached on CD. It wasn’t often that she purchased CD sermons. She was usually preoccupied with a dozen other things when she was driving. But the message he delivered was powerful, one she wanted to engrave in her spirit.
As she turned onto Second Street, she turned up the volume.
“The Christian life was never promised as an easy way to live,” the pastor said. “Instead, Paul constantly reminds us that we must have a purpose and a plan, because times will be difficult and Satan will attack. But we never persevere without the promise of a prize, a promise God will keep.”
As Taylor thought about the challenges she was up against, she shouted, “I know that’s right!”
The traffic light ahead turned yellow, and Taylor slowed down. Rather than charge through the intersection, she decided to stop and take advantage of the scenery. Other than trips to the fabric district, the only time she was in that neighborhood was to entertain out-of-town guests.
A heap of snow fell from the branch of a tree and landed on the hood of Taylor’s car. She looked out the window, checking to see if more snow was soon to follow. Behind the tree was Luxury Inn, a hotel that at one time had been notorious for high-profile parties. Taylor and Sherry used to socialize there often. She had learned, during her affair with Jerome, that Renee was a respected and important part of the Luxury Inn empire. It was possible that their paths had crossed at one of the infamous events. Taylor stared at the front door, wondering if Renee was staying at the hotel or with family.
The light changed, and the white Toyota Rav behind Taylor honked its horn. She put her foot on the gas and circled the corner. Looking at the clock on the dashboard, she had thirty minutes before meeting Collette. As she turned the corner, a car pulled out of a space, and she rushed in the spot. Since the hotel was located in a heavily commercial area of the city, finding a place to park was often near impossible. With the ignition running, she contemplated whether or not she should go inside.
There is a prize at the end, Taylor recalled, believing she needed to take advantage of the moment for the sake of her daughter. She turned off the car, unsure of what was going to happen next. She dropped her hands in her lap and thought about the conversation she had with Lance before she left the house. She knew Lance would be upset about her visit to the hotel, but Taylor believed she was doing what was best for Joi. “Sorry, baby, but I have to do this,” she said and got out of the car.
Taylor’s feet moved faster than her thoughts. Before she could come up with a plan, she was standing in line at the front desk. Not knowing if Renee was at the hotel, she took a chance and said, “I’m here to see Renee Thomas.”
“Sure,” the lively clerk said and picked up the house phone receiver. “May I ask your name?”
Taylor remembered Jerome’s sister-in-law from a brief encounter when they were dating. “Tell her it’s Jocelyn,” she said and held her breath as the clerk talked softly into the phone.
She thought for sure her lie had been exposed when the clerk hung up the phone, and she prepared herself for the embarrassment.
“She’s in the Mercury Room. Just turn left by the elevator. It’s about midway down that hall,” the clerk said, and Taylor was relieved.
Taylor followed the instructions given to her, praying for guidance as she neared her final destination. The encounter was not previously planned, so whatever came out of Taylor’s mouth would be unrehearsed and unscripted. She had no choice but to flow with the Spirit.
When Taylor finally reached the Mercury Room, she tapped the door lightly and held her breath.
Renee opened the door, and immediately the smile on her face turned sour. “What do you want?”
“I’m sorry about using Jocelyn’s name,” Taylor mumbled, her heart beating fast. “But I-I needed to talk to you.”
“I see we need better security around here,” Renee said and attempted to shut the door.
Taylor stuck her Anne Klein heel in the door, hurting her big toe. She had come too far to leave. “I know I’m the last person you want to see, but can I please come in?”
Renee looked at Taylor as if she was out of her mind. “Don’t you think you’ve caused enough trouble?”
“Considering what happened yesterday, I thought it might be time for us to talk. If you let me come in—”
“Absolutely not,” Renee said strongly. “I have a plane to catch.”
Taylor looked through the small crack between the door and saw two suitcases near the wall. Renee was telling the truth. “I’ll only be a minute,” she pleaded.
“Then I suggest you get started.”
Renee’s facial expression reminded Taylor of her fourth grade teacher, a teacher that didn’t tolerate foolishness of any kind. At the end of the hall, Taylor heard the housekeeping staff preparing for their morning rounds. She looked back at them, and although they seemed focused on their assignments, Taylor was uncomfortable having them within hearing range. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in?” she asked Renee one last time.
“I’m positive,” she replied. “And your time in winding down.”
Taylor moved close to the wall and in a whisper said, “I know my apology means nothing to you now, but I am truly sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did. But my relationship with Jerome—”
“I wouldn’t go around bragging about the affair you had with my husband,” Renee snapped.
Taylor glanced down the hall. The housekeepers had finished loading their carts and were lined up by the service elevator. “Renee, I know how you must feel.”
“Do you?” Renee asked, unenthused. “Are you married, Taylor?”
“Yes.”
“Any children?”
“I have four,” she answered and noticed a guard coming down the hall. To control her shaking hands, Taylor tightened the grip on her purse.
Renee greeted the powerfully built guard as he passed the door. The phone inside the meeting room rang and she ignored it. “Let me say this,” Renee continued, “and then I really do need to go. I spent years building a life for my family, making sacrifice after sacrifice, only to have my husband sleep with another woman when things got tough. Whatever Jerome was going through at that time, instead of facing me and dealing with our problems like a man and husband should, he chose to turn to you.”
The phone rang again, and Renee paused briefly. After the second ring it stopped, and she finished her thoughts. “I was helping him become a good husband and father. You were his escape, someone that didn’t pressure him about bills, dirty clothes, or kids. I made a promise to Jerome, to be there for him for better or worse. And Lord knows he’s tested my commitment. You only know a small portion of Jerome. I have a life with him, children with him. You had a fling.”
Hearing her words, Taylor felt demeaned. She hadn’t come to the hotel for that. Feeling the need to save face, Taylor was compelled to defend the affair, even though she knew it was wrong. “Renee, we had two years. I was more than some temporary plaything. You can’t deny that I—”
Renee cut her off. “And he didn’t leave me. What does that tell you?”
Taylor fell silent. The truth hurt. She stood by the door shaking her head in disgust. Disgust with herself and the situation she helped to create.
Just when Taylor thought Renee was done, she said, “But now imagine what I feel after all that I’ve been through with the man I love; the forgiveness, the trust I had to rebuild . . . here we are again. As a woman, why couldn’t you tell me?”
For the first time since she’d been there, Taylor saw the hurt and betrayal in Renee’s eyes. “I didn’t think it was my place,” she said, holding back tears. “I figured that one of the child support letters would include a note . . .” Taylor stopped talking abruptly. From the look on Renee’s face, Taylor knew she had said too much. If Jerome never mentioned Joi, he certainly never mentioned the money he sent every month.
Renee’s cell phone rang, and she looked at Taylor wearily. She was done talking. “What is it that you want from me?” she asked.
“My daughter is not to blame. She only wants to get to know her father,” Taylor explained. “I thought that, as Christians, we could find it in our hearts to make this as painless as possible.”
“Don’t go there, Taylor,” Renee replied. “You were a Christian when you slept with my husband one last time. And after all that crying you did on my shoulder.”
Renee had punched her in the gut with her words again. She was absolutely right. Taylor had forgotten about that. Many years ago, she and Renee had found themselves standing next to one another at an altar call. Filled with regret, Taylor had cried to Renee and begged for forgiveness. How could she really expect Renee to forgive her now?
The phone in the office rang again simultaneously with Renee’s cell phone. The guard from earlier briskly headed down the hall, and before he reached her said, “Mrs. Thomas, you should answer that.”
Renee let the door close so that she could answer the phone.
While Renee answered the call, the guard stared at Taylor as if she was the enemy. “You might want to leave. There’s been a family emergency,” he said.
Looking up at the guard, Taylor buckled. She wanted sympathy, but he had none to give her. Standing in the hallway, her face wet from tears, Taylor thought it best that she leave, but she heard Renee’s voice raise, asking for directions to a hospital.
Rushing out the door, one arm in her coat sleeve, Renee glared at Taylor, her eyes piercing through her soul. “I guess I have you to thank for his heart attack, too.”
“Jerome’s in the hospital?” Taylor asked, trailing Renee and the guard escorting her down the hall. “He’s had a heart attack?”
Renee stopped walking and swung around to face Taylor. “For the love of God,” she snapped, her tone mixed with frustration and fear, “why can’t you just leave me and my family alone?”
The guard grabbed Renee’s arm and stood between the two women. “Mrs. Thomas, your cab is waiting for you,” he said. “You really should leave now.”
Frazzled, Taylor waited until Renee’s cab pulled off. She called Collette to reschedule her appointment then hit the speed dial for her house. “Jerome’s had a heart attack!” she yelled.
“What? Where are you?”
Taylor took a deep breath and told her husband that, against his wishes, she had visited Renee at the hotel.
“I told you not to upset that woman,” Lance said. “I thought we had an understanding this morning.”
“Not now, Lance. Just let Joi know about her father. I’m on my way home.”
Lance belted out his frustrations as he replaced a few white lights on their artificial Christmas tree. He handled the lights with such force, Taylor was afraid the tree would fall over. She’d never seen her husband so upset.
“Jerome has only been in town a couple days, and already you’ve fallen under his spell,” Lance said and kicked an empty box aside as he circled the tree, his caramel tone now a deep shade of red. “I pray he’ll be all right, but I will not let him turn this family upside down.”
Draped in winter coats and accessories, Taylor and Joi stood side by side quietly in the middle of the family room. They were on their way to the hospital before Lance had stopped them.
Finished with the lights, Lance stopped talking long enough to stand back and marvel at the red and gold decorations on the tree. “I pray he’ll make it through okay, but you have to understand that Renee doesn’t feel Joi is entitled to be with their family. That could change later, but who knows?” Lance turned to face his wife. “Can you please listen to me this time?”
“But I am his daughter,” Joi stated firmly, her eyes red from crying. “Why can’t I go?”
Lance took a moment to calm down. “Renee just found out about you. There’s a whole lot for her to digest before she can accept what happened.”
“But how will I know that he’s okay?” Joi wanted to know.
“We can call the hospital. But your dad is right, sweetie,” Taylor responded and took off her coat. It was clear that she was in for the evening.
“She needs to wait a few days,” Lance suggested.
In Joi’s defense, Taylor said, “What harm will contacting the hospital do? She doesn’t have to call and say she’s his daughter.”
“Did it ever occur to you that his children may not know about Joi either?”
Taylor tossed her coat over her arm. “She has a right to know how he’s doing, Lance.”
“Are you sure it’s Joi who wants to know about him?” Lance locked his eyes on his wife.
Taylor couldn’t believe the words that came from Lance’s mouth. It didn’t matter that they’d been married over fourteen years. Jerome would forever be known as the man who captured Taylor’s heart many years ago, the man that kept them from being together when they all worked at SEPTA. It also didn’t help that Taylor turned down Lance’s first marriage proposal because she hoped Jerome would come back into her life. Some wounds never heal.
“I had a feeling in my spirit this morning, and when I passed the hotel I thought God wanted me to talk to her,” Taylor murmured softly. “The sermon said—”
“God didn’t tell you to go and upset that woman, Tay. That was all you,” Lance said. “The devil laid a trap, and you fell right in. You were supposed to be looking at a new building. Now what if that was the one you were meant to lease?”
“I know what this looks like, Lance, but I needed to say something to her.”
“Why can’t you see that Jerome needs to talk to Renee first? She is his wife,” Lance bellowed, and Taylor jumped. “What is this hold he has on you, Taylor?”
There was no hold; at least none that Taylor could see, other than the connection to their daughter.
“This is all my fault,” Joi blurted. “If he hadn’t played basketball with me—”
“Don’t think like that,” Lance said and walked over to Joi. “It takes months, maybe years, for a heart attack to build up in your system.”
Teary-eyed, Joi looked into Lance’s eyes and asked, “Can you pray for him, Daddy? Now . . . with me?”
Unable to tell Joi no, Lance grabbed her hands.
Taylor knew praying for Jerome was a stretch, but that was the kind of man Lance was. He effortlessly put his own emotions aside for the good of his children. Taylor placed her coat over the rail and joined her husband and daughter, and together they prayed for Jerome.