“You haven’t opened it yet?” said Ryan.

“No. As I say, I wanted to share it with you, as I think whatever is in here, you are more than partly responsible for it.”

“Hmm.” Ryan got up and went to the window “Not just me.”

“What are you doing?” said Mr Carter.

“Opening the window.”

“That one is always a bit stiff.”

“Not if you twist it here, I noticed, when I was in this office – and then lift this handle a bit.”

“Oh,” said Mr Carter. “I never worked that out.”

“Dionna!” shouted Ryan out of the open window. “Dee! Come here!”

“I’m playing football!”

“I know. Just for a moment!”

She raised her eyes to heaven, waved a “sorry” gesture at her playmates and ran over.

“What is it?” she said breathlessly.

“Mr Carter wants to share something with … us,” said Ryan.

“Yes, of course,” said Mr Carter, nodding. “You’re right. This –” and he held up the OFFHEAD envelope – “should involve the three of us!”

“Oh, cripes!” said Dionna.

“Cripes?” said Ryan.

“I’m trying to avoid rude words,” said Dionna.

“Probably best,” said Mr Carter. “OK. Here we go!”

They crowded round the envelope, a bit like TV and film stars do when they’re announcing an award. Mr Carter ripped the top off it. He took out a piece of paper and held it up.

“I can’t look!” said Dionna, shutting her eyes. “Is it Good?”

“It isn’t,” said Ryan.

“Oh no!” said Dionna sadly. “Inadequate. Again. Oh no, oh no …”

“Not that either,” said Ryan.

“OMG – they haven’t created a Rubbish rating, have they?”

“Dionna,” said Mr Carter gently. “Open your eyes.”

Dionna apparently still wasn’t convinced this was a good idea, so just opened one. But when she saw what was written on the paper, she thought she must have read it wrongly, that it was some kind of one-eyed misunderstanding. It was the same, though, when she opened the other one. So it must be true.

“OUTSTANDING?” she said.

“YES!” said Ryan.

“THAT’S AMAZING!” said Dionna.

“WOW!” said Ryan. “That really is amazing!”

“It is,” said Mr Carter. “I did make sure to provide OFFHEAD with a bit of extra information, of course. For example, that since your little stint in the job, the pupils at this school have become better, would you believe, at handing in homework and coming up with great ideas for class activities. They’re generally more disciplined too! It’s as if – as if you gave them a little holiday … from … well, from a rather stuffy idea of what school should be. And they enjoyed that and have come back as model schoolchildren!”

Ryan nodded, surprised, but pleased.

“But you know what? I think mainly,” Mr Carter said, folding up the bit of paper, “it was about what you two were like at the debate. Those speeches you made were inspiring – they saved the school!”

Dionna and Ryan looked at each other.

“I suppose we did!” said Ryan.

“Hey!” said Dionna, raising her palm.

“High-five? Bit normo.”

“Do it.”

He slapped her palm, smiling.

“On which note,” said Mr Carter, “this school needs a head pupil. We haven’t had one before. Most schools do and I was wondering if maybe … you …?”

“Well,” said Ryan. “It’s been an amazing journey for me, the naughtiest boy in the school. But, hey … yes, Mr Carter – I’d be happy to. I’d be happy to be head boy.”

Mr Carter nodded. And then said, “Not you, you big wally. Dionna! Of course. I’m offering her head girl!”

“You are?” said Dionna.

“You are?” said Ryan.

Mr Carter nodded. Dionna smiled.

“Hey! Yes! Thank you. Why not?”

“Why not indeed, Dionna!”

“Wow,” said Ryan a little sheepishly. “Head kid! Cool.”

She looked out of the window. Parents had started arriving to pick up their children. “Can I go and tell my mum? I think she’ll be really proud.”

“Of course!”

And she ran back out to the playground. Mr Carter and Ryan looked at each other for a moment. Then Mr Carter burst out laughing, a big pointed “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”

“You, my friend, just got pranked! You are SO lame! You are one dank meme!”

Now it was Ryan’s turn to smile. “Good one. Not as good as your onstage cake-mix prank, obviously.”

“Yes, that was amazing!”

“Top drawer. Getting the containers up there must have been tough.”

“It was. But I was committed.”

“You were. But I gotta say, you had me with that head-boy thing.” He pointed an index finger at Mr Carter and said, “Keep pranking, bro. One day you might be at my level!”

And then he turned to go out into the playground.

“Ryan!” said Mr Carter.

Ryan turned back.

“Just one more one-more thing.” Mr Carter reached out a hand. For a second, Ryan was a bit worried – was he going to slap him? Was he still annoyed? But then he grabbed hold of Ryan’s tie, dangling two buttons down his neck as ever, not properly tied.

“Here,” he said, and pulled it tight up to Ryan’s collar. Mr Carter stood back and admired his handiwork. “At last,” he said.

Ryan felt his tie, made a whatevs face and looked up. “OK, sure,” he said. “But I think this –” he reached out and pulled Mr Carter’s tie down a notch so it hung loosely on him for once – “might now suit you a bit better!”

Mr Carter smiled. He glanced into the mirror above the fireplace – the same one Mr Barrington had looked at to try to work out the words on his forehead a little while ago – and said, “You know what, Ryan? I think you might be right!”

Ryan nodded. Then he turned and ran out towards the playground.

Mr Carter watched him go, dodging all the footballers and fights and hopscotches and hand-held video-gaming and climbing of climbing frames going on, towards his mum. Tina Ward, in fact, saw Mr Carter looking out from his window, and waved and smiled at him in a friendly way. He waved back, remembering something from when he was Ryan, already becoming a little dim in his memory, what she’d said about wanting him to tell her something real about himself: about Mr Carter, that is. About what he was like as a person.

Maybe, he thought, I’ll try and do that tomorrow.

But for now he had things to do. He had to sort out tomorrow’s assembly, to check on the supply-teacher availabilities, to organise a meeting of the board of governors and, indeed, to write an announcement celebrating the school’s new OFFHEAD rating.

Just before he sat down at his computer to type, though, he noticed something on his desk. And he remembered what Ryan had just said before leaving his office.

Keep pranking, bro.

He picked up the object from the desk.

He knew exactly what to do.