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One of the uniformed soldiers dismounted, walked up to the carriage, and pulled out a drawer of stairs from underneath one of its side doors. He then slowly opened the door and stepped to the side.
Out of the carriage stepped a woman. She was middle-aged, yet with the beauty of her youth still radiating. Her nut-brown hair was pulled back in a long braid with silver threads intertwined. Her features were soft, and her skin was as white as the newly fallen snow, which Prolur had seen in the mountains once.
Lord di Sauria watched Prolur’s reaction as the woman, dressed in a long blue and white dress with silver ornamentations, glided towards them very much like a cloud on a light breeze.
Prolur couldn’t believe his own eyes, and he felt his head spin and his knees fold. Father Laster and di Sauria caught him in their arms before he hit the ground. They supported him by putting their arms under his pits and then lifted him back to his feet.
The woman, now with Elden by her side, stretched out her hand and smiled at him—a smile that could have melted solid rock. Prolur took her hand, trembling slightly, and carefully tried to smile back. “Taura,” he said. “I had no idea you would be here.”
“It was to be a surprise, Father Prolur.” Her voice was as beautiful as she was and sounded like a summer’s breeze. “It is Lady Armana now, Father.” She paused as Prolur took it in.
“You are married?” he said with an air of surprise.
“Widowed to be more precise,” she corrected.
“I am sorry.” Prolur lowered his eyes.
There was an awkward silence between them. Lord di Sauria stepped in and lay his arm around Prolur’s shoulders. “We can all catch up later,” he bellowed. “I am famished, and I believe we all would enjoy a feast at the moment.”
They all agreed, and Elden instructed them to follow him. Prolur and Laster waited for the entourage to pass through the doors and informed the stable boys to take care of the animals and bring the equipment to the designated rooms. Lady Armana turned before she entered and looked back at the carriage as if she had forgotten something.
“Naed!” she called out suddenly. “Come, Naed, it is time to eat!”
A boy jumped out of the carriage and ran towards Taura, who crouched down and caught him in her arms. Prolur’s heart sank, and he felt himself become dizzy once again.
The boy had fair hair and blue eyes and looked almost exactly like the child in his dream from the day before he had left the island, except that this boy was a lot older. How much older he wasn’t sure.
As she hugged the child, Lady Armana looked up at him with sadness in her eyes, and it felt like his heart momentarily froze to ice. She rose and took the boy’s hand and went indoors. The sky suddenly exploded with a thunderous roar, and a bolt of lightning lit up the area. Both Prolur and Laster jumped in the air with surprise and ran inside before the hard rain came down.
Two of the soldiers remained outside, pulling their hoods over their heads, which offered little protection, and within minutes, they were soaked.
The welcome banquet was indeed a feast. When they passed through the great doors into the hall, it had all been laid out for them. The temporary servants had lit the brass chandeliers and also hundreds of candles around the room, on the long table running down the center, and holders along the walls. The cook and his assistants were standing by the kitchen door, waiting for them. di Sauria was given the seat at the head of the table, sitting very comfortably in the new chair. At his right side, Elden sat, followed by Prolur and Laster. On his left, Lady Armana and the child and then Avar. Soldiers and bodyguards sat opposite, some of them still armed.
di Sauria and his people were indeed famished, and the brothers who had witnessed the preparations the previous day could barely wait to sink their teeth into the wonderful food. That was why the meal passed by with no great conversation—apart from praising the cook, Elden’s menu, and the call for more wine.
Prolur kept his eyes on Lady Armana across the table. There was a gnawing feeling in his stomach, a million questions he wanted to ask her. It had been ten years since they had seen each other last. Soon enough, the main courses were eaten, and Elden once again brought out the brandy, and shortly after, Lord di Sauria sent his guards to their rooms or out on patrol so that they might enjoy their conversation in private.
The lord had developed the mannerisms of a true noble very well Prolur noticed. He was not at all the nervous, unsure, and inexperienced young man he had met during the campaign against Saurania. Even though di Sauria tried very hard to emit an air of power, control, and unquenchable self-consciousness Prolur could sense that the nervous boy born to a poor farmer still was present.
“So, tell me, Your Lordship,” Elden said as he filled the lord’s glass with more brandy, “what is your relation to Brother Prolur? Why this need to hide your name from him?”
Lord di Sauria smiled at them all and raised his glass to the level of his eyes. “To Prolur di Sangior, now Father Prolur of Haugar, my cousin and only living family member,” he said and laughed. The only ones in the room who didn’t already know this were Laster and Avar. They were caught by surprise and halted their glasses just below their fallen jaws.
Eyes fell upon Prolur, who nodded at them. “We even served together,” he added.
“I was very glad to hear that my cousin was coming to our province and decided to play him this surprise.” Lord di Sauria continued to laugh as he spoke.
“And I must say that I was indeed surprised.” Prolur held up his glass to be filled.
“I owe my title to my dear cousin.” The lord had his filled as well.
“How is that, Your Lordship?” Laster inquired. He had indulged in the food, wine, and brandy for once, and because of his inexperience with the fermented beverages, his tongue had loosened.
“Well, my dear hosts,” di Sauria began. “I was acting as a general at court when our king’s brother was still sitting on the throne and still master of his senses. It was decided that my dear cousin would be awarded the title of Lord Saurania for his many years of loyal service.” Here di Sauria paused and raised his glass to toast. “As I am sure you all remember, my esteemed relative declined the honor and also left the army, even giving up his knighthood. Naturally, this became a dilemma for the king, and since they knew that I was his next of kin, I was offered the honor of taking his place.”
The rest of the dessert they engaged in small talk. Lord di Sauria described his days on the road. They were filled with plans for new military structures, drilling soldiers, and meeting with the provincial lords around the land—known as taeks. When he heard the pains and duties that befell a lord, Prolur didn’t regret the decision he had made all those years ago.
By the time the meal was over, most of the day had passed, and as all the wine and brandy had been drunk, everyone was more than a little refreshed. Prolur, who had limited his intake and had stopped drinking altogether when there were only five bottles left, was still master of his own person.
The other men around the table were now both loud and boisterous. As soon as they noticed that their source of fun had dried up, they decided a change of scenery was in order. Lord di Sauria was very anxious to be given the tour, and Elden was equally anxious to give it.
“We are all very proud of the progress the workers have made,” Elden exclaimed as he rose from the table. “The entire monastery should be completed very shortly.”
Lord di Sauria dried up the last morsel of brandy from the bottom of his glass with his finger. “It is truly amazing that such speed can be maintained by Sauranian laborers,” he said and sounded genuinely impressed.
“Well, I have myself both designed the buildings and monitored the work on them, my lord,” Elden added quickly.
“Naturally, it would have to be under Haugarian supervision,” di Sauria said with his middle finger in his mouth. “Without it, they would not know what to do.” Elden and di Sauria laughed at this.
“Now let me show you what Haugarian excellence can accomplish,” Elden said and motioned for them all rise. “If you would be so kind as to follow me, my lord.” Elden walked over to the door that led to the rest of the monastery, followed by Laster and Avar.
“Will you be joining us, Lady Armana?” di Sauria asked as he rose. “Bring the boy. I am certain he will enjoy it.” He gave Naed a smile and stretched out his hand to the lady.
She took it and stood up. “It would indeed be a pleasure, my lord,” she answered and glanced at Prolur, who was standing behind his chair.
They walked over to Elden, who opened the door and let them through. As they disappeared through the doorway, so too did Avar, Laster, and finally, Elden.
Prolur halted at the threshold, waited for a moment, and then stepped back, closing the door in front of him. He turned around to look at the state of the great banquet hall. There were empty bottles strewn all over the floor. Only a few candles remained lit and barely at that. Wax from them had run down their holders and had formed white waterfalls spreading across the table and the floor. The servants carefully entered the room from the kitchen and began clearing things away.
Prolur felt more than a little embarrassed—not only because of the mess they had left but for the way they had acted. Haugarians were taught at a young age that men in Haugar’s service and nobles were people to emulate and look up to. The behavior his cousin, Lord di Sauria, and the brothers had displayed was not the ideal.
He raised his gaze and fixated it on the balcony which hung over the windows and wrapped around the walls. He was astounded that he hadn’t noticed it before. The arched ceiling in the hall was usually very dimly lit, and the sunlight that shone through the windows were arched in a way that it hid the upper part. Now that a few of the candles still flickered in the chandeliers, the shadows that the balcony cast danced more obviously.
Prolur walked to the north wall and began looking around for a way to get upstairs. He found a stairwell in the eastern corner, and with great caution, he climbed it. It was both rickety and built from wood of poor quality. He held the railing in a tight grip.
The balcony was no more than a thin ledge with a beautifully ornate railing alongside it. The wall had large windows every few feet, and he leaned against the railing and stared out at one of them. They were without glass, and two iron bars prevented any kind of entry.
He tried to clear his head, tried to focus on the surprises he had been served during the day. One person he had not thought about for many years and another whom he had never ceased to think about. The gods did like to play with the lives of their subjects.
Lady Taura of Armana, widow and mother. She was still as beautiful as she had been all those years ago, the last time they had met.
Regrettable mistakes, Prolur thought. They are so easily made.
The wind was blowing harder now, and it sent the rain through the window. It poured down the wall, creating a puddle by the monk’s feet. Lightning flashed over Barnavor somewhere in the distance, and a low rumble followed.
“Prolur.” A fair voice broke through the roughness of the thunder, and he turned with a start.
It was her. She was standing by the stairwell and smiled at him, and though the lighting was dim, she glowed.
“Lady Armana,” he said as he bowed his head in reverence.
“Please call me Taura.” She laughed at his formality. “I think we know each other intimately enough to not use titles. I do not intend to call you Father, so why then should you call me Lady. At least not when we are alone. Do you not agree?”
“I do.” Prolur faced her completely. “Is the tour ended?”
“No, I told them that Naed needed to be put to bed, and so I was excused. Being a lone woman in such an intoxicated company is not a very enjoyable situation.”
“I understand.”
Taura walked closer and rested her hand on the railing that Prolur had been leaning against. “I have missed you, Prolur,” she said as she let her eyes wander over his person. “It has been far too long since we last met.”
“It has indeed.”
There was an awkward silence between them, and for a moment they stood there gazing into each other’s eyes. Prolur broke the silence. “Taura, there is something I have to say to you.” He lay a hand on her shoulder.
“Yes?” she answered expectantly.
“It is something I have wanted to say for many years.” He took a deep breath. “I want to beg your forgiveness, for leaving the way I did, without saying a word. For never answering your correspondence. I am truly sorry for the pain I have caused you from that day.”
Taura looked at him, a look that seemed to pierce his soul. She was still smiling at him as she lowered her eyes. “Prolur,” she said softly. “It may amaze you, but I do forgive you. It has been a long time, and a lot of things have happened, and for different reasons, I must do so.” She lay her hand on his, and at once he was reminded of the softness of her touch. “I need to know why you left, though. Why did you say that you loved me one day and disappear the next?”
Prolur took a few steps back and let his hand glide down her arm until it dropped at his side. He kept staring at her, seeking out her eyes. She lifted them and stared at him in anticipation. “T-Taura,” he stuttered. “I am not sure where I should begin. Our correspondence during the Dourian campaign had been the only thing that kept me going. I spent my entire life in the army and longed to be free of it, and with my knighthood and the land the late king had awarded me, I felt that I had a place to go. To where I could bring a wife. After I came home, I began to suffer violent attacks of depression and anxiety that I could not control. All those years in the field had taken its toll, and I was afraid that I would not be able to live outside the army. I tried to push it aside, and when I was offered the position as Lord di Sauria, I thought I might overcome my fears. I decided to make good on my promise to you and spoke to your father. That final night we spent together. When I told you of your father’s approval and how we soon would be joined, it was the best one in my life. It felt as if my life was becoming all I ever wished for, but that feeling would not last. When I had left your father’s house, I had another attack—the worst one I had ever experienced. I returned to the only thing that had ever helped me, the wine bottle. The following morning, I woke up in a field, not knowing how I had gotten there. The only thing I knew was that I could not take you as my wife in the state I was in. So I returned to my camp, and I wrote a letter to the king declining the offer of Saurania and informing him that I was retiring from the army as I could no longer serve him to my full extent. I packed my belongings, left, and never looked back. For weeks I wandered around Haugar, drinking myself to sleep every night to keep my monsters away. One day I woke up, coughing up blood, and decided to turn to the only place that might save me—the convent Haugar’s Grace. I was accepted with open arms and slowly, over several years, my health returned. The horrors from the wars rarely plagued me, but the memory of what I did to you never faded.” Prolur looked down. He couldn’t bear looking at Taura’s face and the stream of tears now rolling down it.
She moved closer to him, and with trembling arms, she embraced him and held him as tightly as she could. For a moment Prolur was frozen, unable to move a single muscle. Taura rested her head on his chest, burying her face in the soft fabrics of his robe. The scent of her hair and the warmth of her body woke him from his paralysis, and carefully, he lay one hand on her back and the other on her head, gently stroking her hair.
After a while, Taura looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. Her crying had subsided, and she tried to smile. “I do still forgive you, Prolur.” He stroked the wet hair from her face.
“Why did you not confide in me?” I would have understood, maybe even helped you. For so many years, I thought there was something wrong with me or that you had fallen ill.”
“I could not turn around, for if I had, I would not have been able to let you go and that would have destroyed both of us in the end.”
“We could have worked our way through it,” she said and moved her hand over his heart. “There is nothing that we could not have overcome.” She paused and then quickly kissed him on the lips. In the split second their lips touched, Prolur felt a shock of electricity run down his spine and shoot through the rest of his body. She looked at him as if she expected him to say something. Slowly, Prolur caressed her cheek and let his hand move around to the back of her neck. Without any warning, he pulled her closer and gave her a deep and passionate kiss. Taura replied by wrapping her arms tightly around his body and squeezing him as hard as she could, returning his kiss with equal passion. As they stood there, locked together, it felt as if all those years had disappeared into oblivion, and they once again stood on the vine-covered balcony of her father’s castle.
Slowly, Prolur released his lips from Taura’s and moved her away with his hand on her shoulders so that he could get a good look at her. By the way she was looking at him, he understood that the kiss had affected her in the same way. Her face was flushed, and with her tears all dried up, she looked almost happy.
His throat felt dry, and his heart was beating at an incredible speed—so much so that he thought it might jump out of his chest. “My feelings have not changed since the day I left,” he said as he gently kissed her on the forehead. “I realize now that they never diminished through the years. I was too afraid to return to beg for your forgiveness.”
“You would have been too late,” Taura said with a laugh. “You would have had to answer to my father. He was furious for a long time.”
Prolur stepped farther back and let go of her, but he kept her hand in his, gripping it firmly. “What did happen to you after I vanished?” he asked.
Her face at once became stiff and locked in a serious expression. She lowered her eyes again and squeezed his hand harder as if the memories were too painful. “Prolur.'' She looked back up. “When I realized that you would not be returning to me, I was forced to quickly find a husband. It was not a difficult task since I had several suitors at my door for some time. Most of them were aware of my affection for you and took their opportunity when you were away.” Prolur stood silent and watched the woman he had longed to hold for so many years. What she had to tell him was obviously very difficult to say, for she tugged at her dress in a nervous fashion and stared at him without looking into his eyes. “Many of them were very wealthy landowners, sons of knights, and close friends of my father. He had never been very favorable when it came to you—mainly because of you being of a common background. Thanks to my pleading, he declined the proposals, and he was more than pleased when news came of your awards from the king. He was so angry when you left that he vowed to have you both emasculated and decapitated should you ever return. When your absence was common knowledge, the suitors came back to our house, and I accepted the proposal of Lord Danvar of Armana. We married and moved here to Saurania, where His Lordship had acquired land. I did not love the Lord Armana, for he was many years my senior and we had nothing in common, but I had great affection for him, for he cared a great deal for Naed and I. Unfortunately, he passed away no more than two years after we were wed, and ever since then, Naed and I have been alone. That is until Lord di Sauria began calling, and being one of the richest families in the Haugarian kingdom, we are often called to the festivities at the local court. I believe that is our tale, more or less.”
Prolur raised an eyebrow and looked very confounded as if he was thinking about something very carefully.
“What is on your mind, dear?” she asked.
“I do not quite understand something,” he said slowly as if pondering every syllable. “You said you were forced to find a husband quickly. Why was this?”
She took a deep breath this time and then gripped his hands even tighter, which he would have thought impossible. She then lay them on her chest. “Well,” she began, “soon after you had gone, I understood that I was carrying a child and that I had to marry to avoid my father finding out.”
Prolur let go of her hands and staggered back. The wall behind halted him, and he grabbed the bricks it was built from to stop his hands from shaking. “You were with child before you married?” he asked, his voice almost inaudible amongst its trembling.
“Yes,” she answered as she moved close to him once more and placed a hand on his again. “I know that is not what has stunned you, my love. The answer to your question is that Naed is indeed your son.”
He couldn’t believe it. He tried to say something, but no words would escape his mouth. Taura attempted to calm him down by caressing his hands and face.
“Why did you not let me know?” he mumbled when he found his voice.
“No one knew where you were. I had no way of finding you, and because of your abrupt departure, I was led to believe that you wanted no part of me, let alone a child.”
“In the letter you sent to the garrison, which was relayed to me at the convent, you said that you still loved me and asked me why I left. There was no mention of a child or that you had wed.”
“Maybe if you had replied, I would have told you about Lord Armana,” she said sarcastically. “But what good would the mention of Naed done? You could not return to me. It was too late.”
“I know now, and it is truly overwhelming. Does anyone else know?” Prolur could feel his head throb, filled with a thousand thoughts at once.
“No, no one else knows. The marriage took place so quickly that nobody had a chance to suspect anything.”
Prolur rubbed his head and closed his eyes, desperately trying to organize his thoughts. He grabbed Taura’s arms and pulled her close to him, holding her tightly and burying his face in her shoulder. “I have a son. I cannot believe it,” he whispered in her ear.
“Our son. A product of our love,” she whispered in return and kissed his temple. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes again.
“I feel very guilty. I have not seen my child his entire life. Is there anything you need? Anything I can help you with?”
“What do you have to give, Prolur? I have a great deal of land here, and His Lordship left a vast fortune.”
“I will leave the convent,” he suddenly said, and his eyes lit up enthusiastically. “We can marry and become a true family, as it was meant to be.”
Taura kissed him on the lips and smiled. “That is very thoughtful, and I would want nothing more, but you cannot leave the order. There are too many eyes on you at the moment. News of the king’s suspicions against you have reached even me, and an act like leaving your brothers would only make it worse. If the state of the kingdom had been different perhaps, but not now. It is best to leave things the way they are.”
Prolur knew that she spoke wisely—she always had. He had always been unable to foresee the consequences of his actions. As he had risen in the ranks of the army, he had been forced to learn self-discipline, but deep down inside, he was still the uncontrollable young soldier. “What of Naed?” he asked, not letting her go from his arms. “When should we tell him?”
“When the time is right. Lord Armana passed away before he could act as a father to him, and so he has known none. You will come to see us at our castle, often, and then the two of you can form a bond. In time, he will come to love you like a father, and when he is old enough, we will tell him the truth.”
“Have you thought about this a lot?” Prolur said, smiling away. “It seems to me that you have it all planned out.”
“You cannot fathom how often I have dreamed of this day,” she said and tenderly kissed him again.
Suddenly, the sound of the door closing downstairs could be heard, and the voices of Lord di Sauria and Elden came bouncing off the walls. Prolur and Taura let go of each other and peered over the edge of the balcony. Elden was sitting in a chair with his head resting on the dinner table. Lord di Sauria was walking around the banquet hall looking at the stained-glass windows and trying, without success, to name the gods portrayed there.
“I better leave, my love,” Taura turned to Prolur and said. “We do not want to raise any questions.”
“You are right,” Prolur replied. “Lord di Sauria looks very unstable at the moment.”
di Sauria stopped dead in his tracks and put one hand over his mouth and began to move to the entrance with alarming speed. As the door closed behind him with a loud crash, Taura turned to Prolur and lay her hand flat upon his chest. “It is said that we will be leaving in the morning, but Naed and I are staying at Barnavor Castle over the following weeks until His Lordship and his entourage can escort us home.”
“Will I see you again?” he asked as he held her hand as tight as possible, unwilling to ever let go.
“We have many things to discuss. Come and see us at Barnavor in a few days.” She kissed him quickly on the lips. “I must go before di Sauria comes back. I will see you tomorrow, my love.”
She ran down the staircase, and Prolur watched her as she disappeared through the door. He sighed and leaned against the railing. A son. He had a son. Children had never occurred to him, not even before he joined the order. His life had taken an unexpected turn since he had arrived in Saurania, and he was very confused.
Lord di Sauria came stumbling back inside, his tunic stained with vomit, and he collapsed in the nearest chair. Prolur waited until he was convinced that the man had passed out before he descended and sneaked past the dinner table and headed for his room.
He didn’t sleep that night. Instead, he let his mind wander back in time to happier days and thought about the future.