Perry got out of the SUV, called Badger, and stomped into Dot’s. She looked up as the door banged shut behind him.
“Your partner just left ‘bout fifteen minutes ago. Said he was goin’ to go cook something up for you.”
It was unlike Perry to be either depressed or disgruntled, but this evening he was both. Just about anything anyone could say right now would hit him wrong.
“Only partner I got is four-legged and right behind me. Last I checked, she don’t cook.”
Dot shot a quizzical glance his way. “Oh-kay, whatever you say. Want some coffee?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, shouldn’t snap at you. This whole drug thing has got me riled tonight. I dropped a couple of kids from shantytown at the crisis center a few minutes ago. Mother was passed out, prob’ly an OD. Had to call the EMTs for her. Anabelle said she’d had the kids in before. Is this shit ever going to end, or at least get better?”
Dot’s shoulders twitched. “I don’t know, Perry. With the economy totally hosed and the whole area hurting, probably not. Hell, anyone can make meth in their kitchen now. That damn TV program made it cool.” She brought the coffee and sat down opposite him since the café was empty.
At first, he thought she was going to pat his hand. Instead, she drew back and sighed. “None of my business, but I’d say you ought to run by the house anyway. Ike’s just trying to show his gratitude. Not everyone would have taken him in like you have, under the circumstances. He’s a decent man. I’d stake my soul on that.”
“Okay. Just learned I’m on duty until twenty-three hundred—filling in a gap again. I can swing by, though, and let him know, I guess. Tell him to go on to bed. Hell, he’s putting in ten hours or more every day between the jail and here. He don’t need to play housewife for me.”
He finished the coffee in a few swallows, tossed two bills on the table, and strode out. Even if his mood had not improved much, he’d found renewed tolerance. It was what it was, and he had to deal with it. He had to, and he would.
Pulling up in front of his house, he left the county vehicle running and told Badger to stand guard. He knew Ike habitually used the back door which meant the front was likely still locked. He walked around the house and went in. Ike stood at the stove, stirring something in Perry’s big fryer, the one he’d kept when Grandma passed away years ago.
When the lean man wheeled around at the sound of his footsteps, Perry read a tension in Ike’s face along with a relief when he saw it was Perry.
“I thought you were on duty this evening?”
“I am. Just stopped by to tell you not to wait up. I may be late. I’m going to try to track down a new dealer in the area. Have you heard of a guy they’re calling El Feo?”
Ike seemed to go pale under his swarthy skin. “Not until an hour or so ago.” He told Perry about the disturbing encounter. “They—er—you aren’t thinking it’s me, are you?”
Moving away from the stove, he stepped closer until he was almost in Perry’s space. That was so uncharacteristic Perry recognized at once how troubled the other man was.
“Nobody thinks I’m dealing, do they? Oh, God, I hope not.”
Reaching out, Perry put his hands on the other man’s shoulders. “Lord, no, Ike. I sure don’t, and I don’t think anyone else does. You may have been in prison, but that doesn’t make you a hood, a thug. Much less a drug dealer.
“Yeah, there’s a low level cartel jefe based in this area, answering to a higher one in Las Cruces. Everyone knows that, or almost everyone. And he has minor honchos, at least one or two in every little village. They’ll let the freelancers alone for a while, but if they start getting too big, they’re erased. Four or five small-time hoods have vanished, a couple of the bodies found later. No way to solve the cases, really. They go cold. We haven’t got the manpower to work on them very long. And to be honest, everyone is almost relieved when one pusher is out of the picture.”
Ike nodded, just a single sharp jerk. “Still, folks know what I am, and they’re suspicious. I can sense it. And this stuff about some dude called El Feo…he worries me.”
Perry found himself gazing intently into Ike’s dark eyes, absorbing the worry and other nameless emotions churning inside him. Then, before he quite realized what he was going to do, much less why, he hauled Ike closer. He suddenly found his mouth grinding against Ike’s, tasting the spices the other man had used in the dish he was cooking, a hint of coffee and the mint gum he often chewed.
For a few seconds, Ike kissed back. Then he went tense in Perry’s hold and jerked free with a desperate twist. He took two fast stumbling paces backward, breathing hard.
Perry almost staggered, shock roaring through him. “Oh, man, I didn’t mean, didn’t expect—oh fuck, I’m sorry. Why in hell did I do that?”
Ike’s mouth opened and shut a time or two, no words emerging. Finally, he croaked what sounded like, “It’s okay. I mean I—Well, just forget it. It’s all right.”
“Anyway,” Perry said, turning to head back out, “I’m on duty for two more hours and will prob’ly be late. I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe I’ll have something on this Feo guy by then. I know you’re no drug pusher.”
Ike didn’t say anything at all. He turned back to the stove and didn’t glance around once.
With his back to Ike as he reached for the door, Perry felt a compulsion to explain. “Yeah, I’m gay. I guess I never said, did I? Still, I won’t do anything like that again unless I know you expect it and want it.”
In Perry’s one fast look before the door shut between them, he got a good view of Ike’s reverse half. Shit, he didn’t think Ike had gained much weight but he had a damn fine ass. Now that he wore jeans that fit, the back view was fine.
When Perry got back into the idling SUV, he realized his hands were shaking. At first, he wasn’t sure he could control the vehicle. His heart pounded until it felt like it might burst right through his ribs. What in the devil was he thinking of, grabbing Ike like that and kissing him? Within the confines of his dark brown uniform pants, his cock throbbed, so hard it, too, felt about to bust free.
Despite the flaming arousal roaring through his whole body, he had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t all about lust. True, he hadn’t been with anyone in quite a while. Maybe that was why he found Ike attractive. However, if he was honest, there was more to it than that. They would have to sit down soon and have a serious talk. Hell, he didn’t even know for sure if Ike was gay. Most guys had a few encounters in prison, at least one or two, but that didn’t mean they liked it, wanted to swing that way once they were free.
He thought back briefly to his fleeting suspicion that Ike and El Feo could be one and the same. Immediately, he dismissed the notion as unworthy. No, he wasn’t that bad a judge of character. And no fucking way would he be attracted to a drug pusher. Then the radio crackled, a call for a deputy needed halfway across the county. He forced his attention back to business. Alamo County was not paying him to moon over anyone.
* * * *
The sky was brightening for dawn before Perry finally got home. There had been a break-in on a remote ranch, almost over to Sierra County. A stove-up old cowboy who was a kind of watchman at the ranch had been badly beaten. Despite that, he was able to give a good description of the two thugs who’d attacked him as well as a general list of what they’d stolen. They must have missed his cell phone. When he came to an hour after they’d left, he was able to use it to call for help.
Finally, Perry was able to head back. He’d posted a BOLO on the two men and the partial description of the truck they were driving and seen the injured cowboy safely to the nearest hospital. It had been faster and easier to take the man himself than call for an ambulance and try to direct them over the network of dirt roads in the area. Although the old fellow was rawhide tough and protested that he didn’t need medical care, Perry figured he had a concussion and possibly other injuries that should be checked. The guy had finally consented to ride back to town. With the rancher notified and on his way, Perry turned back to Riata, tired to the marrow of his bones.
Badger curled up in the seat and slept, snoring slightly as she often did. Perry glanced at her and shook his head. He wished he could do the same, but first he had to cover fifty miles of mostly unpaved ranch roads, narrow and winding, dropping into arroyos and climbing steep ridges. He couldn’t afford to doze off.
For the moment, issues about Ike and drug dealers were way on the back burner. Right now he needed to get home and grab some zzzz’s before his brain would function properly again. True, he hadn’t made an inch of progress on El Feo, but that could wait for the next shift.
* * * *
At the sound of heavy footsteps on the small back porch, Ike snapped awake. For an instant, he was disoriented, unsure where he was. Then he realized he’d fallen asleep at the kitchen table in Perry’s house. When Perry didn’t get home at the expected time, he’d been unable to sleep. He’d ended up back in the kitchen about four o’clock. Somehow, he had finally dozed off. While he napped, darkness had given way to daybreak.
The steps were Perry’s. The deputy stumbled into the room, weariness etched in his face and posture.
“Told you not to wait up,” he said, a growl in his tone.
Ike nodded but didn’t reply. After a moment, he offered an indirect response. “Made coffee about two, three hours ago. It should still be warm.”
Perry unbuckled his gear belt and hung it on a hook by the door. Badger padded over and checked her dish. Ike had filled it when he fed Rojo late last evening. She set to work on the kibble. Perry slumped into the nearest chair. “Coffee? Yeah, please.”
Ike fetched and filled the cup, set it down, and backed away, dropping onto the opposite chair where he’d been sitting. “Long, hard night,” he observed. “Any progress on the dealer stuff?”
Shaking his head, Perry drew a slow, deep breath. “No. I spent about six hours at a ranch on the far side of the county with a robbery.” He went on to relate the shortest version of the situation that he could. “Deal with the dealers next shift, I guess.”
“Do you want to eat or just go to bed?”
Perry looked up, as if startled. Maybe he’d fallen asleep over the coffee. “Huh? Oh, sleep first, eat later. Too tired to chew.” After draining the cup, he set it down and started for the hall to the bedrooms. After a few muffled sounds, silence fell.
Ike looked around the kitchen. Rising, he put away the stuff he’d gotten out to make breakfast. That would have to wait. He stashed the stew he’d made in the fridge and washed and put away all the dishes. Soon he had everything clean and tidy. A glance at the clock indicated he could grab a short nap and then get up to go clean out the courthouse about nine. He’d just passed the partly ajar door to Perry’s room when the low groan stopped him in his tracks. The sound held so much distress he froze, waiting. When it came again, he had to investigate.
Even though he felt a bit like he was invading, he slid the door open wider and stepped into the room. The growing brightness outside filtered in around the heavy curtain on the one long, narrow window. By that minimal light, he could see Perry tossing and twitching, tangled in the bedding. He must be having a real bad nightmare.
Ike knew something about bad dreams. He’d had his share, mostly about the worst experiences he’d endured—his arrest and time in prison. So what bedeviled Perry? He realized suddenly that he really knew very little personal stuff about the deputy. Had he been in the military and seen some rough shit go down? Maybe had to shoot a criminal? What horrors might be playing out in his mind right now?
For a couple more breaths, Ike hesitated. No, he couldn’t let the other man suffer. Better to wake up and get out of whatever trauma ravaged his sleep. He crossed the room in a few quick steps and bent over Perry’s struggling body.
“Hey, bud, you’re okay. Wake up. It’s just a bad dream.”
When Perry flailed out with a wild swing, Ike grabbed his shoulders to try to pin him down. It took all his strength. Perry probably still outweighed him twenty or thirty pounds and the deputy was fit. Fueled by what looked like stark fear, his strength seemed to have doubled. Dodging another wild blow, Ike grabbed Perry’s wrists and flung himself down atop Perry’s thrashing body before he got knocked across the room.
When Perry went abruptly still, Ike sensed he was starting to waken. “You’re okay,” he repeated. “It’s not real, just a bad dream.” At that moment, he recognized Perry was nude under the tangled sheet. When he felt Perry going hard, Ike’s Levi’s suddenly felt too tight. He released his grasp on Perry’s wrists and tried to find purchase to shove himself back onto his feet. The mattress shifted beneath their combined weight, leaving him nothing solid to push off from. Like a beached fish, he floundered and struggled, grinding their bodies together. Memory of their earlier blazing kiss flashed across his mind. Then, somehow, they were repeating it.
* * * *
Perry came awake fighting strangling fear, a pervasive sense of helplessness and defeat that sometimes came back to haunt him. His kid brother, the overdose, the would-be hoods who threw the unconscious younger boy out of their car in front of the ranch where the brothers lived with their grandparents. Home on leave from the army, Perry heard the car pass, slow, and then speed away. Although it was late, he went out…
As awareness came, he realized he was being held down by a living weight. His eyes flew open. There was a face, very close to his. Not part of the dream. In a second or two, he recognized the face and the lean hard body pinning him to the mattress. Ike? Ike! What the fuck?
“It’s not real. It’s just a bad dream.”
As the other man’s words sank in, Perry understood they were true. Just a bad dream, the familiar old nightmare, probably triggered by last evening’s business, too common and too similar to that heartbreaking past.
Then Ike released his hold on Perry’s wrists, struggling to pull away and get up. In a breath, Perry developed a different idea. Ike was here, close, an erotic pressure against him through the twisted sheet and blanket that barely covered Perry’s nude body.
Memory of their recent kiss in the kitchen flooded back as his cock went rigid. He moved, almost without willing the action. Wrapping one hand around Ike’s head, Perry turned the other man’s face that last degree until their mouths met. If the kiss in the kitchen had been hot, this one approached incendiary. It flared into a conflagration that flashed through Perry’s whole body. It short-circuited his mind and sent blood careening through his veins. It released a voracious hunger that had been building, sly and suppressed.
They clutched and clawed at each other, rolling and tangling on the bed. The sheet fell away. Although Ike was still dressed, it did not take them long to remedy that. His stiff, still-new Levi’s flew one way and his T-shirt and briefs soon followed. Finally, skin to skin, heat to heat, need to need, they let lust and nature guide them. For Perry, it had been a long time, maybe too long. If he’d stopped to think, he might have resisted but everything happened too fast.
As they explored each other with hands, mouths, and cocks, clutching and caressing, it was Ike who called a sudden halt.
“Wait.” Ike drew back. “We’ve gotta use protection. I mean, while I was in prison, I could’ve caught anything. So far there’s no sign, but I can’t expose you to the risk. I’m not doing that to you.”
The voice of reason hit Perry like a dash of ice water, but he had to admit the rightness of his partner’s words. He twisted to reach into the drawer of the small table at the head of his bed. He wasn’t sure what he’d find, but he drew out several foil packets.
“They aren’t new, but I’m pretty sure they’re okay. Never been unwrapped or anything.” He shoved half of them into Ike’s hands, and they both sheathed themselves in record time. Even if the brief interruption cooled the inferno, Perry was still horny as hell. He hoped Ike was, too. “Are you sure, do you still want to do this?”
Ike made a growling sound. “Hell yes. If you’re still willing, I’ve been dreaming about it for days.”
“Good.” Taking charge, Perry flipped the thinner man over, rolled him onto his side with his back to Perry’s front. He threw his top leg over Ike’s and ran his cock down the crease of Ike’s ass. The condoms were lightly lubricated. He hoped it would be enough because he was not going to be interrupted again. Still, he held back from the fierce, demanding thrust every sense wanted him to make. He nudged, eased, and finally slid in. When Ike hissed out a breath, Perry went still.
“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“No! Don’t hold back. Let me have all of you.”
Perry did. He also reached across Ike’s body to grasp his cock and began to stroke it. They both came with an explosive, jolting burst. Afterward, they lay spooned together while their heartbeats slowed and breathing returned to an even pattern from the urgent pants and gasps. Perry didn’t quite realize when he fell asleep.