It took everything within me not to rush that front door. It called to me, as if I could sneak out of the library, slip out the front door, and race to freedom.
If only it were that easy.
The anklet defined my captivity as much, or more, than the collar around my neck and the steel encircling my wrists.
That didn’t mean I didn’t make good use of my time, or the opportunity facing me. It was a test. X and I knew this. In the weeks since coming here, I’d never been left alone. I understood something was happening with my father, a transaction involving slaves, but there was more at stake. Ben and Mel played the roles of wealthy businessmen setting up a Master’s paradise full of obedient slaves, men and women who were ruthlessly broken. But I knew Ben and Mel, or thought I did. With the exception of my kidnapping, they’d been nothing but kind to me.
I didn’t know how much time I had, not that it mattered. I would pass this test, but I would also work toward freedom. The backdoor I implanted on Z’s computer wouldn’t activate until he connected to the internet. X would need a key to access the vulnerability I created, and I had a point to prove. X spoke of choices and having control over what happened to me. He needed to know I could be dangerous and that he didn’t hold all the cards.
A quick search of the desk and I located a laptop. I didn’t know if it was his, personal or business, but it didn’t matter. Like my father, X was paranoid and had layers of security protecting his assets. It took less than ten minutes to crack his system and set up the key he would need. I considered inserting the same code into his operating system as I had on my father’s but understood the depths of the test X subjected me too. I was under no illusions I wasn’t being watched.
Once I was satisfied X had what he needed to take Z down, I closed out the laptop and took a stroll around the library. I loved books. It was hard to find a real book anymore. With the advent of e-readers, few people collected books. X had all manner of books, from true antiques to modern bestsellers. He preferred mystery thrillers and I gave an approving nod to his reading choices. I wanted to spend more time here, exploring, reading, and escaping into other worlds, but I had more to do.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It seemed well over an hour, but there was still no signs of my guards and no movement outside the library. A glance at my ankle and I decided to test X while we were at this game. Leaving the library felt like I was breaking some unspoken rule, but X had left no instructions as to what I could and couldn’t do. I stepped lightly and peeked into the foyer. It sat empty. I didn’t think twice when I went for the door.
The strap around my ankle didn’t have anything that looked like it would give a shock, but I had no illusions it could track me around the globe. I still pressed forward with my plan. X was testing me, but I tested him as well. How far would he let me get? How far could I go and prove to him that I wasn’t a flight risk?
The door leading outside opened. No lock held me back, but I didn’t need locks to keep me imprisoned. It had been weeks since I’d been outside. Most of my time had been spent in my room, my guards watching my every move while taking bets on how long it would take for me to crack the cypher lock on my door. I wondered what bets they had on me now? I stepped outside.
Late afternoon, the sun dipped toward the horizon, and I took note of my surroundings, building a mental map. One day, I would need it to escape. A long driveway headed away from the estate, arrowing due west. Tropical foliage lined the drive, a mixture of palm trees, hibiscus, and bougainvillea. The floral perfumes permeated the air, and I couldn’t help but take a deep breath. I spread my arms wide, splayed my fingers, and luxuriated in the gentleness of the breeze tickling my skin.
X built his home in paradise and I never wanted to leave. I grew up in a palatial monstrosity surrounded by pine forests and hemmed in by the jagged peaks of the neighboring mountains. It had always felt cold and unyielding. X’s estate felt rich, vibrant, and welcoming. The faintest scent of the ocean tickled my senses. I closed my eyes and tried to soak it all in.
My skin warmed with the fading rays of the sun as I stepped across the large porch and took a seat at the top of the steps leading down to the pebble drive. I pulled my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around tight.
“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” X’s deep, cultured voice spoke from behind me.
His presence didn’t surprise me. I’d been expecting someone. It had been a toss up between Chad and Bay, or him. I should be surprised he took time out of his business dealings to attend to me. I twisted around, craning my neck, and caught the magnificence of the man who called himself my Master. A tiny flutter tickled my stomach; there was simply something captivating about this man. It was time to see who passed the test.
“It’s beyond beautiful,” I said. “It’s gorgeous.”
He glanced down the long drive, took a look at the tracking device around my ankle, and then came to sit beside me.
“You didn’t run.”
“I didn’t think it was an option.”
“It’s not.”
“It seemed silly to try, not when I know you would find me and what will happen afterwards.”
“True.” He stretched his long legs on the steps and leaned back on his elbows, placing himself beneath me. I had to look down on him, and his chisel features nearly stole my breath. I struggled to remain calm and unaffected. In this I failed miserably.
“Would it be possible to allow me outside from time to time?”
“Privilege must be earned,” he said with a tightening around his eyes. “You have yet to prove yourself to me.”
“I would have thought I earned quite a bit of trust and privilege.”
“It’s a start, but you are out here without permission.”
“You left me alone and I don’t remember any orders that I stay put.”
“And if I had given that command?”
“I would still be in the library.”
He gave a soft laugh. “Do you really expect me to believe that? When you’re sitting on the steps contemplating escape?”
“I’m sitting. I’m not running.”
“But you are thinking about escape.”
“I was, but I was also admiring your home. It’s very different from where I grew up.”
“How so?”
“It’s warm, inviting…”
“Do you see yourself living here, my sweet Raven?”
I turned away from him. The smoldering desire in his eyes drew me too far, made me want things I shouldn’t, and promised a world I could escape into.
“I don’t know.”
“It will come, with time.”
I didn’t think so, but I didn’t want to discuss it further.
“By the way,” I said, changing topics, “I set up your laptop.”
“Is that all you did? Did you insert any code I should be worried about?”
I gave a deep sigh. This felt good, a civil conversation between us. I enjoyed talking to X rather than constantly walking on eggshells around him.
“The thought crossed my mind.”
“That’s not really an answer, or are you not answering one of my questions on purpose. Is the fire burning inside of you to feel my punishment again that strong?”
My insides clenched, not with fear, but rather with something much more damaging. It spoke to a truth I wasn’t ready to accept. I pressed my thighs together, trying to soothe the needy ache brought on by his words. He brushed a lock of hair over my shoulder and trailed his fingers down my back.
“I decided against it,” I said, making sure to answer his question.
“Tell me what you’re feeling,” he said with a growl.
The low sound rolled through me, stirring up the embers inside of me and fanning them to life. No way in hell was I telling him that.
“I don’t want to be punished.”
“Perhaps, but there is something you do want instead? Someday soon, you’ll embrace this thing between us. And spankings can be used for fun. You don’t have to break my rules to get what you need.”
“We don’t have a thing and I want nothing to do with punishments or spankings. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you shouldn’t hit women?”
“First off, I don’t hit women for sport. I do it for mutual pleasure.”
“But that’s not true.” I shifted away from him, stunned by his comment. “I haven’t asked for any of this.”
“That is where you’re wrong. Your body asks with every breath. Your eyes beg each time you look at me. Your lips whisper the truth with every kiss I give you. You need exactly what I give, and more. I’ve never experienced the depth of connection we share. You’re not a victim, and soon you’ll be a willing participant, begging for more.”
My head whipped around at that comment and I caught the smugness of his expression. A small gap of space separated us, and yet I felt him all around me, breathed him in, and sank beneath the overwhelming presence of him.
“It’s true, and we will share more truths between us. This is one more I think you should know. I haven’t had a slave in years.”
“What about Chad and Bay and…”
“Let me rephrase. I haven’t had a female slave in years.”
“Just men?”
He gave a smirk. “Yes, just men, but not how you’re thinking. There is no sexual relationship between me and my male slaves.”
“I don’t understand the power you have over them, or why they allow it.”
“They allow it because they’ve embraced the truth within them. My slaves desire guidance. They thrive in the control they give surrendering to me. And the authority I wield over their lives meets their deepest needs.”
“So, you didn’t force any of them like you did me?”
“Oh, some were forced. Those who needed a demonstration of my ability to master them, required that display, but most were not.”
“That’s not what I want. I simply want to go home.”
He bristled beside me, then leaned back and closed his eyes against the sun. He took several deep breaths before responding. When he did, the tone of his voice changed. We were no longer having a simple conversation. Master Xavier had returned.
“You’re never leaving, Raven. I’m your beginning and your end. I’m your Master and you’ll respect my position and the authority I hold over you. You don’t believe the truth of your new status in life, but you will.”
“That’s never going to happen,” I said in a whimper.
“Never say never. You haven’t tasted my whip.”
I gave a shudder at the promise laced in his words. He touched the bracelet with the dolphin. It sparkled in the fading light. I glanced at the freedom it promised and groaned. I shouldn’t want it as much as I did because it meant I would be less of a prisoner. I didn’t want to accept this place, but taking that bracelet felt like giving tacit approval to my kidnapping.
“I intended to give this to you, a reward for your assistance today.” From his tone, this would no longer be happening. What had I done wrong?
“But you’re not going to,” I said with more disappointment than I expected. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Rewards are earned, but they can be taken away. You earned this today, but lost it when you denigrated my name. You were told to never refer to me as you do your father.”
“I didn’t…”
“You called me X, whittling my name down to a single letter as you’ve done to him. I know why you do it, but it stops now. From here on out you’ll call me Master each time you speak, until it’s ingrained in your head and becomes second nature.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“I have no doubt it slipped out, but all that tells me is that is how you think of me in your head. A few days of having to say Master each time you speak will take care of that. You’ll eat, breathe, sleep, and dream of me. And each time you fail to give the appropriate address, you’ll earn five strikes of my hand. And you know what happens when I punish you.”
He gets hard, and I get wet. I swallowed against the thickness in my throat.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” I needed to be more careful.
He gave me a long, hard stare and I wrapped my arms tight around my legs bringing my knees to my chin.
“I didn’t mean it…Master .” I made sure to emphasize his title. A tiny jolt of pleasure sparked deep within me, and I hated that less than I should.
“Much better.” He stood and offered me a hand. “Come, it’s nearly time for dinner. You have several punishments waiting for you tonight. We have just enough time to dispense one before dinner.”
I’d lost track of what punishments I’d earned. It seemed the simple act of breathing brought on one of X’s punishments. I held back my anger. It didn’t matter what I called him out loud, he couldn’t take away how I referred to him inside my head. Z hadn’t and X wouldn’t either. What I couldn’t ignore was the heat in his eyes or the response that stirred in me.