THREE

Ten Months After Turning Thirty

We’ve been to see a movie, a rotten one

that cost four dollars, and now we slip

in a cheap car along expensive streets

through a night broken open like a stalk

and offering up a sticky, essential darkness,

just as the terrible thing inside of me,

the thick green vein of desire or whatever it was,

is broken and I can rest.

Maybe in another place and time, people

drive slowly past the taverns

with black revolvers reaching from their windows,

but here in the part of night where every

breath is a gift tremendous as the sea,

thousands of oleanders wave

blossoms like virgins after a war.

I can hear my own scared laughter coming back

from desolate rooms where the light-bulbs

lunge above the radios all night,

and I apologize now to those

rooms for having lived in them. Things

staggered sideways a while. Suddenly

I’m stretched enough to call certain of my days

the old days, remembering how we burned

to hear of the destruction of the world,