“I had already lived for more centuries than I care to remember without finding her when I finally asked Micah for his help.” He shrugged. “It is too late for me to end my own life. I don’t think I could, at this late date.”
“Oh!” My chest ached as I thought of him enduring so many years alone. It was sad, really. At least I had been in love once. I supposed there really was something to that old saying about it being better to have loved and lost. I met his gaze for a moment before quickly looking away again.
I couldn’t bear to see the reflection of those centuries of loneliness and hunger in his eyes. I also couldn’t stand the thought of him ending his life so soon after we met. For some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t imagine the world without him in it and I didn’t want to try.
“We should go.” He placed his hand on the small of my back and gently guided me toward the door.
Inhaling deeply, I took in the scent of his unique cologne. For some reason, most of the other vampires wore the same cologne. Tasha once told me it was to differentiate the real vamps from the incubus and succubus who liked to impersonate the Cartuotey and preyed on virgin guides. Why the sex demons couldn’t wear the cologne was beyond my understanding.
I loved Gideon’s woodsy scent. I inhaled deeply, trying to take in as much of the scent as I could, even as he rushed me through the door and into the elevator. I wanted to remember him after he was gone. No one who had endured the loneliness of the world for as long as he had should ever be forgotten. Someone had to do it. It might as well have been me.
“Where do you think he’s gone?” I had an idea. After all, deep down Evan was just a boy. Gideon watched as I slowly moved my hand over the brass handrail. “Well?”
“Excuse me?” He blinked as though I’d just asked him a riddle the likes of which Oedipus would have come up with.
“Do you think someone took him, or did he run away?” I had a suspicion, but I wanted to see how he’d handle the situation before voicing my thoughts. It had always been my experience that male vamps didn’t appreciate women’s opinions too much.
It was almost as though they resented getting all the brawn while the women got the brains—well, most of the brains.
“You okay?” I slapped him on the back. “I’ve never heard a vampire choke before.”
“There is a first time for everything, is there not?”
“You’d better not be reading my mind again.” I narrowed my eyes at his too-innocent expression .
“Why not,” he asked, his eyes wide, and brows slightly raised. “What have I done now?”
I might have suspected he’d read my less than flattering thoughts, but I wasn’t stupid enough to admit to having them.
“No reason,” I lied. “It just seemed to me as though that mind reading thing would be a difficult habit to break.”
“I have told you I do not actively seek to read your mind. I. Am. An. Ancient.” He spoke slowly, enunciating each word as though he thought I wasn’t too bright. “Ancients have a code of honor. We live by it. We do not consciously attempt to read others’ thoughts, as it is considered a deplorable act when done without permission.” He took a deep breath, his lips moving slightly, as though counting to ten. It took a while. He might have counted to twenty, or more. “Humans and some other beings, however, have the tendency to broadcast their thoughts to the world as though they are all sports announcers.”
“It’s not as though we have a choice, you know.” I poked his sternum. “Most humans don’t even believe in the likes of you and your cronies. In fact, I doubt they’ve given a fraction of a second of thought to whether or not some supernatural creature has read their minds.”
The elevator did its weird jerky thing that made my stomach twist, and the bell dinged, announcing our arrival on the ground floor. The doors slid open and we stepped out into the parking garage.
“Where’s your car?” I glanced around, looking for the long, sleek limo and the driver that accompanied it.
“William should have been waiting for us. I rang for him as we exited the penthouse.” Gideon swept me behind him as he surveyed the dimly lit parking lot. Even in the bright light of day, the underground parking area seemed dark and sinister. “Stay behind me.”
“I don’t think so.” I attempted to work my way to his side, but he somehow managed to keep me behind him and almost pressed against the wall.
“Will you stop that?” I pushed against his back. “I can help you, Gideon. I’m a slayer, or have you forgotten? I’m no shrinking violet to stand aside while you do the manly dangerous work.”
“You are still weaker than I am. I cannot allow you to risk yourself in such a way.”
“Look, mister.” I grasped his arm and pulled until he finally turned to look at me, instead of constantly sweeping the parking garage with the gaze of those lovely green eyes of his.
My mouth didn’t cooperate at first, merely opening and closing several times before it finally allowed me to speak my mind. “No one tells me what to do. Not to mention the fact that, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed it, or not, but I’m not quite human.” I tilted my head to the side. “Granted, I’m not exactly sure what I am, but...” I paused, pulled my hair back and turned so he could see my neck. “Humans don’t have gills, or whatever the hell those things are.”
Reaching up, Gideon brushed his thumb over the spot. His touch was gentle, almost reverent as he stroked the sensitive skin behind my ear. “What if I told you I know what they are?” He inhaled deeply. “What you are.”
I shivered as his thumb brushed over the spot again. “What...” I swallowed thickly as heat pooled low in my middle and goose bumps covered my arms and legs. “What are they?”
Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around me, pressed his lips to that very spot and gently kissed it. “If you hang on, don’t scream, and promise not to berate me, I’ll tell you as soon as we find the boy.”
My body shivered violently. I couldn’t help it. Those strange holes behind my ears had always been one of the most sensitive spots on my body.
“Hold on.” Gideon tightened his arms around me as he took to the air. I knew vampires had the ability to fly—I’d just never thought to experience it. Before he took me with him to protect me, I’d always been under the impression they only flew with other vampires or their mates.
Unable to stop myself, I glanced behind us as he rushed through the deserted garage. A dark shadow stopped by the elevator where we’d been standing. It gave the appearance of a dark, oily stain hovering in the air.
It didn’t chase us, but rather stayed hovered there by the elevator doors, as though waiting for something.
We passed by the limo and I looked toward the driver’s seat, half expecting to see William asleep at the wheel of the long, black car. A red splat on the window where his head should have been told me he would be of no help.
“William is dead.” I buried my face in his shoulder.
“I know.”
Seeing the blood shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. Hell, I killed vampires for a living. Blood and gore had been a large part of my life for more years than I’d care to admit. “Who killed him?”
“I have no idea.”
Why did his answer suddenly make my stomach churn? Was his driver dead because of me? Was it the same person or people who had invaded my home? I stared back at the dark stain. “Is that something from the demon world?”
“Yes,” Gideon said as he stopped just inside the entrance to the garage and set me on my feet. “We must walk out of here.” Leaning forward, he glanced out and checked the sky. “It is nearing dusk. We must find a safe place before darkness fully settles over the city.”
Nodding mutely, I grasped his hand when it brushed against mine. A strange sense of comfort stole over me and my heart lurched. It had been a long time since my heart had turned over in such a way.
“We also must find the boy as soon as possible.”
“I think he went home.” I felt bad for holding that information back. “He’s still just a boy, Gideon. He probably wanted to be close to those he loves.”
“If he hungers—”
“He’ll control himself. He didn’t attack me last night, and he didn’t know me from Adam. He won’t harm those he cares about.”
“Where does he live?” Gideon stared at me, one brow raised as though he thought I wasn’t telling him everything I knew.
“I don’t know.” I glared at him. “I just met the little creep last night when he attempted to enthrall me with a B-movie monster accent.” I rested my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes. “Like I know where the kid lives...” Sheesh!
Sighing heavily, he pulled his phone from his pocket, tapped the screen a few times with his index finger and, then brought it to his face.
“Yes. It’s Gideon.”
I shivered a little bit. I loved the way he said his name—and mine.
“Did any of you think to get the boy’s address? My... Tara seems to think he might have decided to visit his family.” He made a rude noise. “Of course that would be a bad idea.”
Turning, he stared at me. Even the sight of those gorgeous green eyes couldn’t stop me from wondering what he’d been about to say before he mentioned my name.
“Thank you. I’ll call if we find him.” His eyes darkened and I wondered what was on his mind.
“Of course, she will be with me. I will never fail to do my duty, in that respect.”
My heart slammed against my ribs and I put my hand to my throat. He couldn’t mean to kill me. If he’d wanted to do that, he could have done so while I slept. I swallowed thickly as I did something I had always said I wouldn’t do. I tried to eavesdrop on their conversation. I had to know what he meant to do with me. Though try as I might, I couldn’t hear a word of what they said.
My mind raced as I wondered what he planned, and I missed the rest of the conversation. Ending the call, Gideon shoved the phone into his left, front pocket, wrapped his right arm around me, and pulled me close.
“You worry too much.” He buried his face in my hair. Brushing my hair back, he inhaled deeply. “Apparently, Tasha was able to find his address through an internet search. It seems as though there is only one Evan Evans in the area.”
“That’s not surprising,” I said dryly.
“This is all my fault.” He sighed. “I should have thoroughly read his mind last night. He could be a danger to humans.”
“I thought you said it was rude to read minds.
“Sometimes, it is a necessity with new turns. For instance, we must know if they have killed while feeding, or if they have insatiable blood lust. Either of those things requires intervention.”
He stepped back, took my hand, and led me out onto the sidewalk.
“I searched for those things, but I should have also examined his emotions closely. What if he returns home to kill a hated step-parent or neighbor? Their deaths and any others will rest solely on my head.”
Gideon led me down the street, holding my hand. Warmth traveled up my arm as we walked in silence for a few minutes.
“It’s not your fault if he hurts someone, you know.”
“Of course it is.” He gently attempted to pry his hand from mine.
I wouldn’t let him pull away. Instead, I took the opportunity to lace our fingers together even tighter. I wasn’t sure why, but I needed to make him understand my opinion on the matter.
“No. It isn’t. If blame for any wrongdoing lies with anyone, it lies with the vamp who changed him and left him to fend for himself. Find that person and blame him—or her.” I tacked on the last as an afterthought.
Most of the Cartuotey would never think a woman capable of such a thing. However, as most women knew, the female half of any species can be vicious when provoked. I don’t know why men always insisted on considering women the weaker sex.
Women might not have their physical strength, but we could sure come up with some gruesome ideas for exacting revenge. One would think men would have figured that out over the eons.
“It does not matter. I should have sensed a danger in him.”
“What danger?” I held my arms out palms up. “What if he’s gone home to see his parents, to set their minds at ease? No one would want their loved ones worrying about them, thinking the worst...” I bit my lip. The worst had happened to the poor kid, in my opinion.
Evan was no longer human. At best, his family could have hoped for a quick death and certain closure. At worst, their son had become a soulless vampire—a bloodsucking fiend feeding on innocent humans until he drained them dry.
I pressed my lips together. Perhaps it was time I shut up before I convinced myself the boy deserved execution. I didn’t want to have to kill him. Just because I was good at my job didn’t mean I liked it. In fact, I hated it. In my mind, I wasn’t any better than those I executed. Not really.
Sometimes I hated myself for making a living off the misfortune of others. Was I just as much of a monster as those I dispatched to hell, or was I something more, something better?
God, I hoped I was better than the vampires I killed. I hated to think there could be someone out there who hunted the likes of me.
Sometimes, while feeling particularly morose, I hoped someone would come along and put me out of my misery. Most times, though, I wanted to continue my existence.
Recently, guilt had been bringing me down. Then I’d met Gideon. Not for one moment did I believe I was his mate. It wasn’t possible, and well I knew it. From what I’d always been told, the Cartuoteys always paired up with guides.
Guides were exactly what their title implied. They led others through dimensional gates. Not once had I ever envied them their gifts—other than being mates to the vampires, which wasn’t necessarily something I had thought desirable, until recently. They were targets.
Rogue vampires targeted them to open those gates, to help them do many nefarious things. Demons also targeted the poor schmucks, forcing them to open the gates so more of their underworld friends could dance into our dimension.
The process wasn’t pretty either, since the demons forced the guides to open the portals using the energy produced by a violent sex act.
No thank you.
In my opinion, guides were the strongest, bravest people on Earth.
“Tasha said he lived on Eastern Avenue somewhere near Twenty-Ninth Street.”
I sighed when he said the address. “That’s a heck of a walk.”
“Then we shall ride.” He stepped out into the street and waved his arm at a large SUV. The man pulled over, his anti-lock brakes causing the tires to skip along the pavement with a chirping noise.
The snick of the doors unlocking surprised me for a moment until Gideon opened the door and I saw the slack expression on the driver’s face.
“Get in. I have enthralled him. He is in no hurry to get home. In fact, he thinks to leave his wife of thirty years for the opportunity to sleep with younger, thinner women.” Gideon flicked a glance the driver’s way. “Men such as this one are cads.”
“That’s an archaic term.” I chuckled with a shake of my head.
“Perhaps,” he said as he raised a brow, “I am an archaic man.” He climbed into the backseat with me and scowled at the driver.
Almost immediately, the man slammed his foot onto the gas pedal and turned the wheel to the right. The SUV fishtailed around the corner and we were on our way toward Evan’s human home.
I shifted my gaze to my lap. My fingers plucked at my jeans and I tried not to notice how Gideon’s leg pressed against mine. Sitting so close together wasn’t a necessity. It was a rather large SUV. Still, his leg pressed against mine, and his warmth seeped into me.
I hadn’t realized I had been cold until that moment. It wasn’t too chilly out. It was late June, after all. Still, I shivered as the realization settled over me. Why was I cold, and why was he so warm?
“I wish you would cease thinking of me as the undead.” Gideon grasped my hand with a sigh. Gently, he brought it to his chest. “Do you feel my heartbeat? I live. Blood flows through my veins. I breathe, I eat.”
“It’s what you eat that bothers me.” I clamped my hand over my mouth with horror. “I-I didn’t meant to say that!”
He turned toward me, his anger evident in the glowing red glint of his eyes. “Do you mean blood? Specifically, human blood?” He glanced to the man in the front seat. “Should I feed on him now and show you that we do not need to kill to feed upon humans? Should I have him stop at a blood bank so you can see that I will consume the distasteful bagged blood as is our habit of late?”
He leaned closer, his breath brushing my neck as my stomach clenched and my body betrayed me by leaning closer to him as my insides melted and pooled between my legs. “Or shall I sink my teeth into your succulent neck and show you exactly how pleasurable, how erotic it can be between two people who enjoy each other’s company?”
My eyes closed. It was almost as though I had no control over my body as I leaned even closer. I swallowed thickly as his lips brushed my skin. I was both elated and horrified at the idea that he would feed from me. Swallowing thickly, I moaned when his teeth gently scraped the sensitive skin of my neck and, then pressed just a bit harder. I moaned at the pleasure-pain. Goosebumps covered my skin as he nipped the tender flesh where my neck met my shoulder.
The sound of tires screeching barely preceded my body hitting the back of the front seat as the SUV came to an abrupt halt. Frantic at what we’d been about to do, I scrambled from the floor of the back seat, opened the door and threw myself out onto the pavement.
Gideon followed, his scowl firmly in place. He slammed the back door of the SUV, turned, and yanked the front door open. He dragged the driver out of the vehicle as much as the seatbelt allowed, tilted his head to the side and sank his teeth into the other man’s neck.
After about ten seconds, maybe twelve, he released the man, shoved him back into the vehicle and closed the door. “Go home to your wife. She loves you. You do not deserve her and you know it. You will spend the rest of your life making her happy, though you know she is better than you.”
The man nodded mutely, his eyes glazed over as he put the SUV in gear and hit the gas.
“Why did you do that?”
“Do what?” he asked wearily as he shoved his hair from his face.
“You just saved his marriage.”
“I did not save his marriage. I saved his wife’s marriage. He will live only to serve her now, and that is all he deserves. I read what he wanted to do with younger women, and it wasn’t pretty. He does not deserve the love of a good woman.”
“Then why did you send him back home?” I tilted my head and stared at him. “Why didn’t you just kill him?”
“Because I couldn’t bear to think that you would see me and think me even more a monster than you already do.”
He met and held my gaze, as though doing so would prove he meant what he said.
“How do you know he’ll do as you instructed?” Besides, Gideon had read the driver’s mind. What would stop him from going back to the man and killing him at a later date? After all, if the man remembered any of his encounter with them, the news would rock the world, even if only a few people believed him.
“That is why I took his blood.”
“Oh. I thought you were just hungry.”
“Hardly.” He scowled at me. “I doubt that I could ever be so famished that I would choose to drink from the likes of him for mere sustenance.” He snorted. “And you think of the Cartuotey as monsters.”
He took my arm and led me down the street toward the house we sought. We were still several blocks away. I wasn’t too upset. I figured the walk and fresh air would do me good. I didn’t know how Gideon felt, but I was frustrated as hell.
It seemed as though every time he meant to kiss me, something or someone interrupted. It was beginning to piss me off.
The cool evening air did a lot to dispel some of the dissatisfaction I felt. Still, I couldn’t put the memory of our kiss out of my mind.
My heart raced as I thought about how soft his lips were, how warm I felt in his embrace and how much I had longed to experience that feeling again.
As much as I had loved Bob, he never once made me shiver with desire or my heart pound against my ribs the way Gideon could with just a glance my way.
What was it about him that made me want him more than any other man I had ever known? The fact that he was a vampire should have turned me off completely. However, the argument against that fact had become increasingly weak in my mind.
I stole a quick peek up at him from the corner of my eye. Did he have some weird vampire mojo I had always prided myself in being immune to? Could it have something to do with his being an Abrasai, or was I just plain horny?