WHENEVER SOMEONE MENTIONS his or her grandfather my thoughts turn to the memories of my maternal grandfather, Colonel Ibrahim Khan or ‘Abba Jee’ as he was affectionately known by all of his grandchildren. He was everyone’s favourite grandparent.
Abba Jee was involved and interested in every aspect of his grandchildren’s lives from day one. In fact he was involved in their welfare even before they were born. His moral and practical support was always greatly appreciated by my parents at all occasions but more so during the special occasion of the arrival of a new baby. My grandfather was present at the time of the birth of all five of us brothers and sisters. He even held my mother’s hands in the delivery room during the birth of my younger sister. Being a doctor his presence was reassuring and a source of great comfort to my mother. He would help her to shop for baby clothes and other baby paraphernalia. All these tasks around the birth of a child are traditionally performed by grandmothers in Pakistan. As my maternal grandmother had passed away soon after my mother fell pregnant for the first time, Abba Jee took on the dual roles of grandmother and grandfather very successfully and, I think, quite willingly.
He was a very hands-on grandfather. During his stay with us he would help us with our homework, especially in writing up English essays. He told us stories from Greek Mythology and explained their relevance to English literature. He was an avid fan of cricket and we learned much about the game, its history and its famous figures from him. He would regale us with the history of the Ashes, the bodyline Series, and the escapades of Douglas Jardine and Donald Bradman. One of my enduring memories is of Abba Jee, my parents and all of us siblings huddled around a radio listening to live commentary of a Pakistan—England match.
As we grew older and learned about his experiences during the Second World War, we would press Abba Jee to tell us stories from his days as a prisoner of war. My grandfather would only talk in general terms and never detailed the horrors that he saw and suffered during those long years as a POW in Malaysian Peninsula. According to my mother he came back a changed man, physically and emotionally. He had always been a kind and caring person and in spite of the inhumanity he experienced during the war he became even more gentle and humane.
Abba Jee loved to shop, especially for food. Mangoes were his favourite fruit and he would go to the special wholesale fruit market to buy the best quality and variety of them. We ate the best mangoes the summers he spent with us. My earliest and one of my favourite memories of my grandfather is of him taking my cousin, my younger sister and me shopping to Qissa Khawani Bazaar in Peshawar for Eid when I was five years old. All four of us clipped-clopped to the market in a horse-drawn cab called ‘Tonga’. Abba Jee bought each of us bangles and traditional white and gold embroidered shoes. Those bangles and slippers were preserved for posterity by my father in a black-and-white photograph.
Abba Jee was known for his honesty, fairness and kindness. Members of the family would seek his advice on family conflicts, knowing that he would have the most balanced view on the situation. Abba Jee lived his life on the principle that one should treat others as one would like to be treated. My siblings and I are blessed from having had the presence of this kind and gentle person in our lives. My hope is that we can pass the lessons learned from his life on to our children and grandchildren.
Aasia Mahmood was born in a small garrison town of Kohat. She spent her childhood in various military towns such as Peshawar, Quetta, Rawalpindi and Dhaka. She has been living in Scotland for the past 24 years, working as a bilingual support teacher and as an interpreter.