Chapter 43

 

“What are you doing?” I asked Nick as he put his hand on the back of my chair at the dining table.

“Yes, Nicolas, what are you doing?” his mother asked, an eyebrow raised.

I had been breaking my fast with the Duchesses von Hohburg and von Stroebel. Though to be honest, I was quite glad to have an excuse to leave the table, for they were not happy with my declaration of breaking the betrothal.

“Tressey has not seen the river bank. I mean to take her down there.” He pulled the chair out more and I hopped up, my napkin falling to the floor.

I had forgotten about the napkin. Would I ever learn the ways of a lady? I let out a sigh as I bent to pick it up. “That sounds wonderful,” I said as I stood and put the napkin on the table.

The Duchess von Stroebel’s gaze moved from Nick to me, then back to Nick. “Who is your chaperone? My daughter needs an escort.”

“My sister is coming,” he said, smiling.

“Good, she can show me her favorite spots to sink my toes into.” The river, with Nick and Kiki? Oh, that would be great fun. I could hardly wait.

“Shall we?”

I nodded and Nick practically dragged me from the dining hall to the front doors. I could not help glancing at him, for he seemed so enthusiastic. Much happier than he was when I told him I wanted to cancel the betrothal. Did my releasing him make him feel so giddy? Or was he merely glad the entire mess with Gothel had been concluded?

He practically skipped across the hall like a carefree child, which made me laugh. Pausing at the door, he picked up a basket.

“You find me funny?” he asked.

“You seem quite enthusiastic.” I gestured to the basket. “What is that?”

“Provisions,” he said with a grin. “I cannot have you hungry when we get to the river.”

I truly wanted to see what a river was like. If only to paint a new memory that was not Gothel’s hanging. It had haunted my dreams all last night and I barely got any rest.

“This sounds wonderful,” I said as we stepped outside, the bright morning sun shining down on us.

“Oh, it will be,” Nick replied, and took me to an open carriage. He put the basket in the seat, then helped me in.

“What made you think of it?” I asked as I peeked at the basket. He had bread and fruit inside.

He climbed in on the other side. “After yesterday, it seemed a good idea to get away.”

“Yes, I agree.”

Nick situated himself, and picked up the reins as one of the horses snorted its impatience at us.

Nick made a clicking noise with his mouth, and off we went.

“Wait,” I said as we started to head toward the main gate. “Where is Kiki?”

He made a show of looking around. “Oh, I must have forgotten her.”

“But Her Grace said I should have an escort…” Concern warred with the excitement of going to the river. I did not want to make another mistake of propriety, yet I wanted to see the river for the first time.

“I think you will be fine. I am strong man. I can protect you from any wild animals.” A glimmer shone in his blue eyes, and it made me pause.

“But…what about…”

“Shh,” he said with a grin. “There is nothing improper about a friend taking another friend to the river.” He urged the horses on, and we passed through the front gate of the castle. Though from the way he had said that, I had to wonder about his definition of friend.

“Is that what we are, my lord? Friends?”

“I should certainly hope so,” he replied as he steered the horses down a road. “We have been through a good deal together.”

“Yes, that we have.” Feeling a bit nervous, I reached for my braids, but, of course, they were not there. I let out a sigh, and dropped my hands in my lap. I could not help feeling Nick had another motive.

He must have sensed my hesitation. “Is there something wrong, Tressey?”

“I just… I wonder why you are taking me to the river today.”

“Because you wanted to see it.”

“Besides that.”

“Why else would I take you?”

Looking at his profile, then down at the basket between us, I wondered what had brought on this little adventure. I was not sure I fully trusted his motives. “You are up to something.”

“I am.”

“And what is that?”

“I am attempting to take you to a river bed so you can feel the moss between your toes.”

“But why?”

This time he did turn his head to look at me. “Because it is what you want.”

We rode on, and I tried not to think about what he said, though it was quite hard. The more I thought it through, the more I realized he was doing a great deal because I wanted it so.

This was a small thing.

The betrothal was not a small thing, and I had expected him to argue, to refuse… After all, he would lose his prize.

Yet he had not.

Nick pulled the carriage onto a path off the road, and already I could hear the water moving. He pulled to a stop, and helped me down.

“We have to walk from here,” he said. “The trees are too thick to drive the carriage the rest of the way.”

I nodded. Following him, I started to slip on some damp grass, and fell forward, catching myself on a tree trunk.

“Ohh,” I said as I stood.

“Are you all right?” Nick asked.

I rubbed the bark. “I am fine.” Some of it crumbled in my hand. “Oh! Did I break it?”

Nick smiled. “No, look.” He slipped his finger under the edge of a piece and broke it off. “As the trees get larger, the old comes off, and new bark grows in its place.” He handed me the piece.

Feeling the coarse texture on one side, I smiled, then turned it over. “Oh, it is smooth,” I said as I stroked the inside.

“Yes.” He pulled another piece off the tree. “When I was a child, I would put a stick, and maybe a few leaves into the holes, like this one.” He pointed at a tiny hole on the smooth side of the bark. “And I would sail them down the river, see how far they would go.”

I grinned. “Can we do that?”

“Certainly.” He took my hand and we headed further into the woods. The rushing water became louder as we walked, though not so loud that I could not hear his words.

“I used to come down here and fish a lot with Penn and Bryan. We were boys, and we would see what kind of feast we could catch.”

“Did you ever catch a feast?”

“No. This particular spot in the river has very few fish. Up stream, there are more pools where the fish linger. Down here, the water is too fast.”

We came through a break in the trees, and immediately I saw what he meant. Rocks jutted out of the water, some large, some small, so many rocks that the water snaked and sloshed around them, with little pools of white where it crashed against them.

Yet as chaotic as the movement was, I immediately felt peace. I inhaled deeply, just staring at the way the water moved.

“It is so peaceful here,” Nick said, letting go of my hand and moving off to the right, where a patch of green grass grew.

He removed a blanket from the basket and placed it on the ground. The bright white clashed with the soft greens and browns of the ground.

He sat on the blanket. “Have a seat.” He held out his hand to help me sit. Birds chirped in the air and a gentle breeze crept through the woods, making my short hair flutter around my face.

I smiled, brushing the strands away, the hair tickling along my neck as I joined him on the blanket.

Nick sat quite close to me because the blanket was not large enough for both of us. Even with the finger’s width of space between us, it still seemed I could feel Nick’s body touching mine. My skirts spread out, covering part of Nick’s leg, and I tried to tuck them beneath me, but with all the layers the fabrics would not cooperate, and I finally gave up.

“No need to fret about your skirts,” Nick said.

“I was not fretting, I just…”

Nick took my hand. “Please do not worry about being proper. I care not if you abide by propriety.”

I squeezed his hand. “I do not know what I should do. I want to be proper, to be a lady as I am supposed to be, as is expected of me, but at the same time, I want to be free of the rules and choose my own path.”

Nick laced his fingers with mine and caressed the back of my hand with his thumb. “Very seldom do ladies get to choose their own way.”

Tears filled my eyes. “I know.”

“You do get to choose.”

I shook my head. “I do not think so. I am not the proper lady Duchess von Stroebel expects for her daughter, I can already see that. Part of me wishes to fight the rules, yet the other part of me wants to be a good daughter. I wish her to approve of me.”

“You are alive. You have her approval.”

Tears gathered in my eyes, begging to be released, and a couple slipped out the corners. “I could never gain Moth–Gothel’s approval. I was never good enough, and I spent my entire life with her. How can I possibly be good enough for the von Stroebels?”

Nick pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm around me. His chest was solid and warm, and I curled into him. “You are. You will be. They are probably as flummoxed as you are, for they have never been parents. Together you will find the way.”

“They wish for me to return with them tomorrow.”

“I know.” He ran his finger down my nose. “You should go with them.”

I sniffled against his chest. “And what about you?”

“I want you to do what you must. Walk in the world, feel the moss between your toes.”

I let out a snort of laughter. “I have not done that yet.”

He touched my chin, tipping my head to his. “There is no time like the present.”

“Thank you, Nick. Thank you so much.” Before I registered the movement as improper, I had my arms around his neck and my lips pressed to his. Nick’s arms encircled me, and he leaned back, guiding us to the ground as we kissed.

Kissing his cheek, I straddled him, my skirts like a blanket over our legs, and then looked into his blue eyes.

They were blue as midnight once more. “Anything for my Tressey.” He put his hand behind my head and pulled me down into another, much more intense kiss.

Doubts started sneaking into my mind. How could I reject a betrothal to a man I loved so deeply?