Chapter 47

 

The ride to Castle von Stroebel was long, and the roads once we entered the von Stroebel lands were rough. The carriage slowed to what felt like a crawl at certain points. Restless, I stared out the window, wondering if it would not be faster to walk. The view did not offer much in the way of distractions. Though spring had come and the trees shone with green leaves, the wild flowers along the road seemed shy to appear, which left very little color to illustrate the landscape.

The duke kept muttering about seeing what could be done to smooth the road. The duchess would say, once in a while and with a kind smile, that while the province was still profitable, work needed to be done. Things had been put off for years. She and the duke spoke all the way home, making a list of things to attend to. Their eyes sparkled with anticipation, as though they had only been waiting for an excuse to set things right.

I was here now, I could help them. While I doubted I would be much help mending the roads, Her Grace made comments about things to be done to the castle. Maid’s work and, by the sound of it, a great deal of it. I was not afraid of work. After all, I cleaned my own tower for years. I could certainly help there. At least then I would feel as though I deserved to be there–I would put my effort into the place, help make it my family home.

We pulled into the worn gate, which groaned piteously as it admitted us. Tall weeds grew in the main courtyard, and the masonry had crumbled and cracked in places. The only area that had been maintained at all was the far corner, nearest the gate, where a few merchants resided. Both the stables and the outermost lodgings–away from the castle proper–were outfitted with old wood barely tied together to create proper shelter. A few people milled about, nothing like the courtyard in Hohburg. There, everyone moved with purpose, full of life. Here, as the von Stroebels had looked when I first met them, the light was gone. They seemed to exist more than live.

I did not envy them such sorrow. I had felt it enough myself over the years.

The carriage curved, following the rough cut of the road, and I saw the face of the castle. Vines growing over the sides, almost hiding the color of the stone, seemed to hold it together. The only color was the occasional bloom shining in the sun.

The windows were dark. Stained, I guessed, by grime. No light seemed to penetrate them, and I immediately decided I would tackle the windows first. Letting light inside would certainly brighten things up, and bring some cheer back to the place.

The carriage parked near the main entrance and out burst a man nearly the age of the duke. He hurried to the side of the carriage, his gait much stronger than the duke’s. He had a hard face and a scar the length of his jaw. He seemed one who had lived a hard life. When he reached for the door, I saw he was missing two fingers on his right hand.

I must have been staring, because the duchess touched my arm. “That is the butler,” she said. “He was a soldier during the wars, years ago. He served under your father, until he was hurt.” She leaned closer. “He has helped us for many years and kept the household running as smoothly as possible, all things considered.”

The butler pulled the door open, and stared, mouth agape, at me.

“Your Grace… It is true.” His face paled, and tears filled his eyes.

I jerked back, into the thin cushions of the carriage.

“Yes, it is,” the duke said. “Duke von Hohburg’s son found her. May I introduce Lady Katherina Greta von Stroebel.”

The butler did not move for a moment, then immediately knelt. “It is a pleasure, my lady.”

I heard myself whisper a “thank you,” though I barely registered it.

He kept staring at me as we climbed out, and I tried to ignore it as I stepped onto the land, partially expecting to feel some strange sort of connection to the place, as if something ingrained in my spirit would respond as soon as I did.

But alas, I did not.

I did not feel like a stranger, but I did not feel at home. And I wondered if I ever would. This was merely a place to be for the moment.

In my heart, I knew where I belonged.

With Nick.

I let out a sigh. Why, oh why, had I asked him to break the betrothal? Now, as I stood here, I felt a fool. Did it matter, truly, if I was a prize or not? I wanted to be with him. Not here.

Her Grace stepped to my side. “I know it is not as lovely as the von Hohburg lands, but it is our home. Maybe now changes can be made, to make it a better place.”

I forced a smile. “I will do what I can to help.”

“You already have, my dear,” she said, touching my shoulder. “You are alive.”

I blushed. I was not quite sure why, but the comment embarrassed me. A couple of young men came over, attending to the horses alongside the men who had traveled with us. 

As the thunder of hoof beats coming from the entrance penetrated, I spun around to see a horseman ride into the courtyard at full speed.

The rider galloped toward us.

He wore a blue cloak.

Surely not.

It must be a coincidence. Nick could not be the only man with a blue riding cloak. 

I took a step forward, and he aimed his beast straight for me. I inhaled a breath, ready to leap for safety as the horse came to a stop mere feet from me, and the rider vaulted off.

“Nick,” I whispered, hardly able to believe my eyes. 

What was he doing here? Had something happened to Kiki? Did she need help? Had there been an accident? Why would he charge after me only a handful of hours after I left? Something must be wrong. 

“What is it?” I asked. “Is Kiki all right?”

He stared at me. “She is fine, why…why would you ask?”

“Why else would you come chasing after us?” I said. “We only just left you.”

“I had to,” Nick replied.

“Why?”

“I cannot be without you. I cannot be at Castle Hohburg, hoping you will come back. I have to be with you. I need you with me. You are the air that keeps me alive.” He panted for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “I thought I was a man, grown and strong, but I am not.” He took a deep breath. “Not without you. You showed me that a nobleman’s honor is everything, and you make me an honorable man.”

My heart seemed caught in my throat, and I put my hand against my neck, unable to form words.

“What is this about?” Duke von Stroebel said, coming to my side.

Nick did not pay him any mind. “I will return home if you do not want me here, Tressey, but you must say the words. I have to know you do not want me near. Marry me, Tressey,” he said, dropping to his knees before me. “I am asking you, not because of a betrothal, not because of propriety or rules or blending two provinces or titles. I am asking because I love you with all my heart and wish to be with you always.”

A smile spread over my face and tears poured down my cheeks. “Yes, Nick, yes.” He stood and I leapt into his arms.

He pulled me to him–he stank of wind and horse and sweat, but I did not care. He was here.

Everything would be all right.

Nick turned his head, and the kiss landing on my lips was not sweet and nice and appropriate, but apparently he did not care and neither did I. Our lips meshed, our arms wrapped around each another. We held on for dear life, unable to break away.

Or at least, we would not have been able to let go, had Duke von Stroebel–with more strength in his hands than I thought possible–not wrenched us apart.

“By and by, lord, what is this?”

Nick took my hand, holding it tight in his, and stared at von Stroebel. “I wish to reside here, Your Grace, for I cannot bear to be apart from Tressey. She is my world, my life. I love her with all my heart.”

The duke glanced at his wife, an unsure look on his face. But the duchess beamed.

“Of course you can stay,” she said, coming to Nick. “Though you will be required to work.” She gestured to the house. “There is a good deal to be done. You will be expected to assist.”

Nick grinned as the duchess took his arm and began telling him of all the things he would be helping with.

I could not help smiling. The duke held out his arm. I slipped my hand into the crook of his elbow.

“There will be rules, young lady,” he said as he led me toward the house.

My cheeks warmed, but I did not allow myself a laugh. “Of course.”

“Propriety will have to be observed at all times,” the duke continued, his tone very stern. Then he leaned to my ear and whispered, so the duchess and Nick would not hear. “We have secret passages in this castle too.”

I burst out laughing.

I decided I would enjoy my time with my family after all. I watched Nick walk toward the manor with the duchess and the heaviness lingering in my heart, placed there by years of being hidden, lifted.

Regardless of where I had been so far, this was where I belonged.

Nick glanced at me over his shoulder, a smile making his face glow.

I belonged with Nick.